Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 23

Thread: Example of Evil

  1. #1

    Default Example of Evil

    Fair Warning: this is a hard thread to read. It involves descriptions of abuse I endured as a child.

    OK, that said, I have been accused before of "teasing" others by being elliptical. I don't mean to be. I find it very hard to bond with people because of my past experiences, and I find them hard to share. This is, hopefully illustratively, one of them.

    I can't summarize them more succinctly without sacrificing their import.

    My stepmother used to time my eating with a watch. Like, how many seconds it took me to chew a given bite of steak or whatever. If it was "too long", whatever that meant, she would shove it down my throat. Literally, yank my mouth open and shove it. I'm sure she wouldn't have cared if I choked to death and died, to her I was the excess baggage that came with my father, she could have cared less. She was just annoyed that I was chewing the badly-prepared steak too long. But for me, at the time, it was a life-or-death game I had to play. She'd make a point of keeping tabs on her watch.

    I'm sorry for the dark thread but I'm honestly not sure how else to broach the topic. o.o;;;

  2. #2

    Default

    I'm sorry for what you had to live through. This is child abuse, not to mention assault, plain and simple. It's amazing you survived. May I ask how old you were at the time she was doing this to you and how long it went on? Was your father or any other relative present at the time she was doing it? I seriously would have been thinking of reporting it to the police or a neighbour or a teacher. I imagine fear was a factor in coming forward.

    I came from a home with an abusive father and I certainly feel your pain in how difficult it can be to trust people and establish relationships. Abuse leaves us badly scarred. We must remember that we are survivors in spite of the enormous barriers and that there are still good people out there. You have my support and my sympathy.
    Last edited by Starrunner; 21-Dec-2016 at 16:39.

  3. #3
    MarchinBunny

    Default

    Sorry to hear you had to go through something like that. Even to this day, I don't quite understand why some people do things like this to others. I had a pretty bad time myself with my ex-stepfather. For some reason, he likes nothing better than to torture us as kids. He never shoved food down our throat but he would certainly ground us if we left absolutely anything on the plate. We would have to stay at the table to till he was satisfied enough. It's like he didn't understand the concept of being full. He would also purposefully or what seemed to be on purpose ... give us food we didn't want.

    To give an example... we complained about the food. So he asked what we wanted and we said tacos would be nice. So what he makes us has refried beans and gives us some hard shells and hot sauce. That's it. We thought we were going to get something good, but instead, we got something worse than what we had before.

    You would think it ends there, but it doesn't. At the same time, he would make his own food. So you may think maybe he is just a bad cook. Nope, he would make himself pastas, steaks, salads, etc. As we sat at the table with our can of tuna or "tacos" he would brag to us about how good his food was and how it was a shame we couldn't have any.

    Again, sorry to hear you had to go through that.

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Starrunner View Post
    I'm sorry for what you had to live through. This is child abuse, not to mention assault, plain and simple. It's amazing you survived. May I ask how old you were at the time she was doing this to you and how long it went on? Was your father or any other relative present at the time she was doing it? I seriously would have been thinking of reporting it to the police or a neighbour or a teacher. I imagine fear was a factor in coming forward.

    I came from a home with an abusive father and I certainly feel your pain in how difficult it can be to trust people and establish relationships. Abuse leaves us badly scarred. We must remember that we are survivors in spite of the enormous barriers and that there are still good people out there. You have my support and my sympathy.
    I can't answer completely, just talking about this is getting to me.

    I was around 9 during this incident. It continued throughout my childhood and was much more pervasive than I've illustrated here. Yes, my father was present... he didn't interfere. It was hard for me to articulate exactly what was happening, but I did try to come forward to my mom and my teachers etc. No one cared. I had to learn to fend for myself.

    To try to illustrate very briefly, Christmas was a nightmare. There was a quiz involved. Who gave you which presents, why don't you remember, don't you care? That kind of thing...

    I know it's a bit archetypal to cast a stepmother as evil. But she really was. She put effort into being mean.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by brabbit1987 View Post
    Sorry to hear you had to go through something like that. Even to this day, I don't quite understand why some people do things like this to others. I had a pretty bad time myself with my ex-stepfather. For some reason, he likes nothing better than to torture us as kids. He never shoved food down our throat but he would certainly ground us if we left absolutely anything on the plate. We would have to stay at the table to till he was satisfied enough. It's like he didn't understand the concept of being full. He would also purposefully or what seemed to be on purpose ... give us food we didn't want.

    To give an example... we complained about the food. So he asked what we wanted and we said tacos would be nice. So what he makes us has refried beans and gives us some hard shells and hot sauce. That's it. We thought we were going to get something good, but instead, we got something worse than what we had before.

    You would think it ends there, but it doesn't. At the same time, he would make his own food. So you may think maybe he is just a bad cook. Nope, he would make himself pastas, steaks, salads, etc. As we sat at the table with our can of tuna or "tacos" he would brag to us about how good his food was and how it was a shame we couldn't have any.

    Again, sorry to hear you had to go through that.
    *hugs* I think my stepmother wished I didn't exist, and just had to play the part of caretaker. It sounds like the situation may have been very similar for you. It was antagonistic from the beginning, and it never EVER should have been.

    I'm sorry you've had a parallel experience. I'm trying to reach the point that people can't bother me as much. Getting over the abuse is the hard bit.

    [Edit... addition]
    Maybe the only thing I can compare to this....

    I was brought to a restaurant while on vacation once, and it had a children's menu. I was asked, innocently enough, what I wanted from it.

    Every single choice I made was negated, until there was only my least favorite left. Each time, I was told "Oh, we don't like that, pick something else". It was a game. My evil stepmother wanted to force me to eat whatever was my least favorite thing on the menu, and this was her method of determining that.
    Last edited by Sapphyre; 22-Dec-2016 at 00:43.

  5. #5
    MarchinBunny

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Sapphyre View Post
    *hugs* I think my stepmother wished I didn't exist, and just had to play the part of caretaker. It sounds like the situation may have been very similar for you. It was antagonistic from the beginning, and it never EVER should have been.
    Yep pretty much. My ex-stepfather really didn't want to have anything to do with us (two sisters, and myself). He even celebrated when my oldest sister got kicked out.



    I'm sorry you've had a parallel experience. I'm trying to reach the point that people can't bother me as much. Getting over the abuse is the hard bit.
    Yes, getting over it is pretty difficult and I don't even know if it's possible to entirely. I have many issues due to all the abuse I had been through as a child. Sometimes recognizing the issue can be difficult while at other times it can be the reason for the issue that can be difficult to figure out.



    Maybe the only thing I can compare to this....

    I was brought to a restaurant while on vacation once, and it had a children's menu. I was asked, innocently enough, what I wanted from it.

    Every single choice I made was negated, until there was only my least favorite left. Each time, I was told "Oh, we don't like that, pick something else". It was a game. My evil stepmother wanted to force me to eat whatever was my least favorite thing on the menu, and this was her method of determining that.
    My ex-stepfather did something quite similar to this. He would ask what we wanted but rarely would we be able to get what we want. He would then point out what we were allowed to have. It always bothered me because why ask in the first place?

    I believe for him though it was more about money. Then again maybe it was both the money and to mess with us, I don't know.

  6. #6

    Default

    I was adopted, so I had very loving parents, but many years ago, parents were harder on their kids. My mom was German and discipline was a big deal. I was a picky eater, and my mom cooked German food, some of which would be considered extreme by today's standards. If we had steak, it was always tough and sinewy because we didn't have a lot of money. My dad grew many of our vegetables. We would have asperigus and it was thick and tough. I had to sit and finish it all or I couldn't leave the table. I can remember as a little kid, sitting and crying until my mom would finally make deals like, if you eat half of this and half of that you can leave, but no dessert, etc. Still, no one was pushing it down my throat.

    What adults forget when they abuse kids is that those same kids grow up. They can have their revenge if they have a mind to get even. Sometimes, ignoring someone and never seeing them again is enough.

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    I was adopted, so I had very loving parents, but many years ago, parents were harder on their kids. My mom was German and discipline was a big deal. I was a picky eater, and my mom cooked German food, some of which would be considered extreme by today's standards. If we had steak, it was always tough and sinewy because we didn't have a lot of money. My dad grew many of our vegetables. We would have asperigus and it was thick and tough. I had to sit and finish it all or I couldn't leave the table. I can remember as a little kid, sitting and crying until my mom would finally make deals like, if you eat half of this and half of that you can leave, but no dessert, etc. Still, no one was pushing it down my throat.

    What adults forget when they abuse kids is that those same kids grow up. They can have their revenge if they have a mind to get even. Sometimes, ignoring someone and never seeing them again is enough.
    I can't eat steak anymore.

    I mean, I'm pseudo vegetarian anyway, I'm picky with meats and tend to eat lots more veggies, but steak is completely out. The smell of it will destroy my appetite.

    She threatened with a lot of foods, but this was the only one she followed through with. I'm not sure, to this day, if she hoped I would choke or not. It was convenient for her either way.

    I've cut both of them out of my life, which is probably exactly what my stepmother wanted. But I'm still hurting badly from their shit, and even my therapist is having trouble touching this.

  8. #8

    Default

    I lived through abuse as well. Not as extreme as some others but it was abuse.

    I'm the youngest of 4 kids and I grew up being compared to my older brothers. Every single day. Even little things.

    "SnowBlitz your brothers are so good at X, why can't you be good at X?" "X and X always got straight A's but you aren't." "X and X were always so popular why aren't you?"

    Things like that. There were... Much worse comparisons. Who was doing the comparing you might ask? My Mother. She compared me to my brothers knowing full well I couldn't ever be them. It was like a twisted game to here, breaking me down so she could manipulate me into doing whatever she wished.

    The abuse went further than just comparisons too. I was constantly told that I was essentially fucking up everything. That my learning disability would prevent me from ever going anywhere in life, despite it only affecting my depth perception. I was screamed at if I was even a minute late after curfew.

    To this day I can't handle anyone raising their voice at me. I completely break down and get extreme anxiety, to the point where I'm physically shaking.

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by SnowBlitz View Post
    I lived through abuse as well. Not as extreme as some others but it was abuse.

    I'm the youngest of 4 kids and I grew up being compared to my older brothers. Every single day. Even little things.

    "SnowBlitz your brothers are so good at X, why can't you be good at X?" "X and X always got straight A's but you aren't." "X and X were always so popular why aren't you?"

    Things like that. There were... Much worse comparisons. Who was doing the comparing you might ask? My Mother. She compared me to my brothers knowing full well I couldn't ever be them. It was like a twisted game to here, breaking me down so she could manipulate me into doing whatever she wished.

    The abuse went further than just comparisons too. I was constantly told that I was essentially fucking up everything.That my learning disability would prevent me from ever going anywhere in life, despite it only affecting my depth perception. I was screamed at if I was even a minute late after curfew.

    To this day I can't handle anyone raising their voice at me. I completely break down and get extreme anxiety, to the point where I'm physically shaking.
    *hugs* I got something like that too... and the message was essentially the same: I was fucking up everything. And that there was something wrong with me.

    I can't take being yelled at anymore either. My reaction is just the same, I end up shaking. Often, someone doesn't need to get to the point of yelling at me to leave me that way. It's anticipatory.

    Thank you for sharing, and I'm sorry you can relate to this so well.

    I'm slowly learning to shake it off. I am probably what was once termed High-Functioning Aspergian. If so, well, that's a label and not a problem... the "high-functioning" part gives that away, right? :P I'm just a little different, and for the most part, I think most other people have to catch up a bit with me, if anything. I can't play sports or win beauty contests (depending on the gender to which I'm being compared), but I can run circles around most people scientifically.

    I also wasn't expected by my parents to go anywhere in life. Particularly not my father and stepmother, I was treated like a charity case if anything. I'm technically better educated than both of them now, and I did it without their help. So, they can tell their story walking...

    I hope you get to the point where you reach your own validation.

    One final note, re depth perception... I don't know any of the details of your issue with that, but, are you familiar with this? http://www.bbc.com/future/story/2012...rom-a-2d-world
    Last edited by Sapphyre; 22-Dec-2016 at 12:43.

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Sapphyre View Post
    Fair Warning: this is a hard thread to read. It involves descriptions of abuse I endured as a child.

    OK, that said, I have been accused before of "teasing" others by being elliptical. I don't mean to be. I find it very hard to bond with people because of my past experiences, and I find them hard to share. This is, hopefully illustratively, one of them.

    I can't summarize them more succinctly without sacrificing their import.

    My stepmother used to time my eating with a watch. Like, how many seconds it took me to chew a given bite of steak or whatever. If it was "too long", whatever that meant, she would shove it down my throat. Literally, yank my mouth open and shove it. I'm sure she wouldn't have cared if I choked to death and died, to her I was the excess baggage that came with my father, she could have cared less. She was just annoyed that I was chewing the badly-prepared steak too long. But for me, at the time, it was a life-or-death game I had to play. She'd make a point of keeping tabs on her watch.

    I'm sorry for the dark thread but I'm honestly not sure how else to broach the topic. o.o;;;
    I am sorry for what you had to go through, Sapphyre. As a person who has went through abuse myself, I can understand how hard that is. Also I had an abusive stepmother and a abusive mother, who both abused my brother and I in different ways. But as starrunner says we are suvivors and also just know you are not alone.

Similar Threads

  1. Resident Evil 4
    By ModdedPrincess in forum Computers & Gaming
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 04-May-2013, 07:37
  2. Resident Evil 6
    By Serah in forum Computers & Gaming
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 05-Nov-2012, 10:02
  3. Resident Evil 6
    By Wesker in forum Computers & Gaming
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 26-Jan-2012, 04:12
  4. Good Vs. Evil
    By statik in forum Mature Topics
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 15-Oct-2011, 22:27
  5. Beyond Good & Evil 2
    By ScubaSteve in forum Computers & Gaming
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 29-May-2008, 20:33

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
ADISC.org - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community.
ADISC.org is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.