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Thread: I drunkenly told my friend I'm a DL. I was honest but also lied....now I'm super stressed

  1. #1

    Default I drunkenly told my friend I'm a DL. I was honest but also lied....now I'm super stressed

    OK...so yeah. On Thursday I got exceedingly drunk and ended up texting my friend who is across the world that I'm a DL. I'm actually not ashamed that I "came out" to him as a DL because we've been friends for almost 10yrs now. So I was going to tell him anyway at some point.

    My problem is...that in my drunkenness I made an attempt to justify my being DL. I lied to him. I made up a story about how I was a bedwetter into my late teens and spent my childhood wearing diapers to bed. And then as an adult, found myself wanting to relive those times. I made it sound like my being a DL is a psychological thing.

    So I mixed the truth with a huge lie....except he doesn't know I lied. For all he knows, I was a chronic bedwetter and it has affected my life. But I wasn't a bedwetter. I told him that in order to make myself not sound like a creep.

    But it's been tearing me apart. I've been so stressed, full of anxiety and making myself sick because I lied to this person. If I'd have just left it at being DL, it would've been fine. But I took it to another level and added the lie.

    As of now....I have no idea what he thinks of me as a DL, much less the lie that I am a former bedwetter. I just don't know what to do. Should I move on if he accepts me as a DL? Should I confess my lie or just continue on with him believing my fake past? I'm freaking out so bad right now I don't know what to do

  2. #2

    Default

    if it really is causing that much anxiety, i would tell him, in your defense, you where drunk. however, sometimes, sticking with a lie is the best policy.

  3. #3

    Default

    I know this would be more difficult, but maybe you should talk to him on the phone. Yeah, most people understand we say stupid stuff while drunk so if he's still a good friend, he'll understand.

  4. #4

    Default

    Since you are freaking out over this, I think you should tell him the truth and you do have a bit of an edge - you were drunk!

    We all know that when someone has had too much to drink, the are prone to talk too much.

    So...just explain to him that you were drunk and that you were rambling on and then just repeat the basic facts and move forward.

  5. #5

    Default

    I think I'd let sleeping dogs lie. Or at least wait for him to bring it up first. If it's something he's open to discussing, then I don't think most people would be that worried about little white lies like this, so you could come clean if it helps you feel better. Otherwise I'd just try to forget about it...

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Boopa View Post
    OK...so yeah. On Thursday I got exceedingly drunk and ended up texting my friend who is across the world that I'm a DL. I'm actually not ashamed that I "came out" to him as a DL because we've been friends for almost 10yrs now. So I was going to tell him anyway at some point.

    My problem is...that in my drunkenness I made an attempt to justify my being DL. I lied to him. I made up a story about how I was a bedwetter into my late teens and spent my childhood wearing diapers to bed. And then as an adult, found myself wanting to relive those times. I made it sound like my being a DL is a psychological thing.

    So I mixed the truth with a huge lie....except he doesn't know I lied. For all he knows, I was a chronic bedwetter and it has affected my life. But I wasn't a bedwetter. I told him that in order to make myself not sound like a creep.

    But it's been tearing me apart. I've been so stressed, full of anxiety and making myself sick because I lied to this person. If I'd have just left it at being DL, it would've been fine. But I took it to another level and added the lie.

    As of now....I have no idea what he thinks of me as a DL, much less the lie that I am a former bedwetter. I just don't know what to do. Should I move on if he accepts me as a DL? Should I confess my lie or just continue on with him believing my fake past? I'm freaking out so bad right now I don't know what to do
    I've been to the points of coma drunk never told anyone, not saying this to encourage that kind of drinking... saying it to ask, "was it really an accident?" I told my brother on the day I learned my mom was never going to talk to me again over bourbon... not cause I was drunk... but because I was ready.

  7. #7

    Default

    You know, I've never understood why a lot of people feel bad if they lie. Anyways, if you feel so bad about it just tell him you made it up and that you were drunk.

  8. #8

    Default

    Odds are, you're overthinking the situation and he doesn't care. Just back away and go forward as if it never happened. If he starts treating you differently (ie avoiding you) or makes it obvious what you said had an impact, then you should address it. Otherwise forget it and move on.

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by demonic2786 View Post
    You know, I've never understood why a lot of people feel bad if they lie.
    The hardest part is keeping track of them. If he's known this person and talked to them for ten years, then they'll probably be talking in another ten years. He's going to have to take on a whole new past persona here, and just for one person.

    Enough lies and suddenly your life is really difficult to manage.

  10. #10
    mikejames

    Default

    honestly it's really none of your friends business. You told him part of the truth but the "lie" isn't important IMO. You told him that you're a DL....the exact details of how you came to be a DL are irrelevant in my opinion. I'd put this solidly in the little white lie category and move on.

    IF it's really causing you that much anxiety I'd commit to waiting at least one month before coming clean with him. You might be surprised by how you no longer care after a month.

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by demonic2786 View Post
    You know, I've never understood why a lot of people feel bad if they lie. Anyways, if you feel so bad about it just tell him you made it up and that you were drunk.
    Depends on the lie. Literally every single human being tells little "white lies" whether they'll admit it or not. But major lies are significant moral lapses.

    Lying to your boss about being a half hour late to work by telling him your 1.5 year old son was up crying ALL NIGHT which snowballed and screwed up your morning routine isn't a big deal. White lie. Telling your spouse you're working late when you're really out banging the new office cutie is a major moral failure. Beyond the marital infidelity, lying about such a major thing to someone you vowed to be faithful to (in all respects) is it's own major moral failing. If you don't understand that then that's pretty terrifying.

    The OP's situation, in my opinion, falls squarely in the "little white lie" category. Funny that your suggestion to alleviate the OP's guilt for lying is to make up another lie though, haha.

    Only a literal psychopath/sociopath lacks the ability to feel guilty about lying, so I'm not sure how serious your blanket statement "I've never understood why a lot of people feel bad if they lie" is.

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