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Thread: My eating habbits.

  1. #1

    Default My eating habbits.

    Well, I have some odd eating habbits, I practically eat only when I'm hungry, that usually is one meal a day, I sometimes have some snacks, but I find it hard to pig out on food.

    I actually find it hard to pig out on food, when I do, I get extremely tired.

    I also am fussy when it comes to food, I can't eat a lot of potato, can't eat much, and only eat specific foods, like I can eat tons of pizza for example, but more than one whole pizza, and I'm vomiting the next day.

    Is anyone else like this? I myself am very slim, I think a bit too slim once you think about it.

    I myself don't like to eat much, and don't force myself to eat when I don't have the need too, I've been like this ever since I started high school.

    I don't think it's a eating disorder or anything, but I find that I don't eat as much as other people, and actually dislike to eat when I'm not hungry.

    Anyone else the same? I'm not sure if I'm overweight, but being 60 kilos, and tall as hell, is a bit odd, most people I know are "bigger" than me by far.

    [possible reasons behind it]
    Some days I don't eat anything, just don't feel like it, makes me bloated. Though I'm pretty sure this had something to do with trauma to be honest, had a very traumatic experience in high school, hand was covered in blood, was terrible. even saw the blood pissing out, ewwies. (literally can picture it right now, and it's something that happens to resurface leading me into a depression again.), Had a person literally push me off a chair, almost cracked my head open, and was also threatened to have my head kicked in, and the list goes on.. even had someone threaten to stab / kill me.) Honestly, this has fucked my mental health up a lot, to the point I feel nothing at all) I can recall every little thing that happened that day, had to even lie about the fact I was bullied and that it was an "accident"... yeah)

    In my last couple years of primary school, was constantly kicked, I came home with my knees covered in blood, I had people jab pins into my back constantly was fucking painful. People thought it was a good idea to gather up all my friends and hide leaving me alone for the rest of the time I was at high school, was a loner etc. Had people ruin friendships, my best friends parents see me as a terrible person due to the manipulation this person did, despite pure evidence of past abuse.

    But i guess people only like to see what they want to see, plus they seem to justify it by saying that you don't understand this person lost someone, eh I do understand but that doesn't justify 6 years of constant abuse. It seemed everyone just ignored or magically forgot the fact he abused me, even had specific people have a go at me for self defending myself, this person hated me, and they seemed to say, well some things you can never forgive someone for, are you fucking kidding me, I forgave him for 6 years of abuse, and one thing, he thinks JUSTIFIES hating me.

    But hey, he is good at twisting people, and I'm the bad guy, lost all my friends, practically have no one due to this prick. I don't usually hate someone, but.. in this case I do, he ruined my closest friendship which I had most of my life...

    [slightly disturbing part]

    I'm 19, but my suicidal thoughts, and depression started literally around 13, I'm pretty sure at the time diapers were a coping mechanism, because my interest seemed to spike around that time. I don't think it is normal for a 13 year old having dark thoughts. I only told one person, who back stabbed me at the time, lets say at the time, I also used to self harm daily that being said, parents thought I was "doing it for attention"... even though I kept it to myself, someone found out and backstabbed. I did it on my legs though, so nobody could see. I haven't done that for years though. but i think that's due to the transitioning to me feeling nothing.

    Worst part is, I kept all the bullying to myself, no body did squat, which made me felt like no one cared, to this day I'm so pissed off teachers ignored it and didn't do anything. I can't seem to recall a lot of it, as my mind blocked out a lot of the abuse.
    Last edited by LittleJess; 06-Dec-2016 at 10:09.

  2. #2
    MarchinBunny

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Shybug View Post
    Well, I have some odd eating habbits, I practically eat only when I'm hungry, that usually is one meal a day, I sometimes have some snacks, but I find it hard to pig out on food.

    I actually find it hard to pig out on food, when I do, I get extremely tired.

    I also am fussy when it comes to food, I can't eat a lot of potato, can't eat much, and only eat specific foods, like I can eat tons of pizza for example, but more than one whole pizza, and I'm vomiting the next day.

    Is anyone else like this? I myself am very slim, I think a bit too slim once you think about it.

    I myself don't like to eat much, and don't force myself to eat when I don't have the need too, I've been like this ever since I started high school.

    I don't think it's a eating disorder or anything, but I find that I don't eat as much as other people, and actually dislike to eat when I'm not hungry.

    Anyone else the same? I'm not sure if I'm overweight, but being 60 kilos, and tall as hell, is a bit odd, most people I know are "bigger" than me by far.
    Only eating when your hungry ... isn't very odd. XD I assume most people do this.
    I eat very little. At times I can be so hungry I feel like I could eat a horse when in reality it turns out I can't even finish a single plate of food. x.x
    I used to do the one meal a day as well. It wasn't until I went to job corps where they fed me breakfast, lunch, and dinner where I started eating multiple meals. I didn't stick to it, but now I generally do at least have lunch and dinner these days. Although sometimes I do only eat dinner.

    I am not very fussy, I can eat just about anything.

    By the way, when you say a whole pizza, do you mean like a whole pie? Or just a single slice? Generally I can only eat 2 - 3 slices. I imagine if I attempted to eat a whole pizza .. I wouldn't get sick the next day, probably be sick on the spot ROFL XD.

    I am slightly "over weight" (to me) these days, despite not eating a whole lot. I assume it's due to never really going out much and just sitting at a computer all day. I do plan to start going on walks / jogs soon to start being a bit more active and hopefully that will shred of the extra weight I had gained over the past 4 years.



    [possible reasons behind it]
    Some days I don't eat anything, just don't feel like it, makes me bloated. Though I'm pretty sure this had something to do with trauma to be honest, had a very traumatic experience in high school, hand was covered in blood, was terrible. even saw the blood pissing out, ewwies. (literally can picture it right now, and it's something that happens to resurface leading me into a depression again.), Had a person literally push me off a chair, almost cracked my head open, and was also threatened to have my head kicked in, and the list goes on.. even had someone threaten to stab / kill me.) Honestly, this has fucked my mental health up a lot, to the point I feel nothing at all) I can recall every little thing that happened that day, had to even lie about the fact I was bullied and that it was an "accident"... yeah)

    In my last couple years of primary school, was constantly kicked, I came home with my knees covered in blood, I had people jab pins into my back constantly was fucking painful. People thought it was a good idea to gather up all my friends and hide leaving me alone for the rest of the time I was at high school, was a loner etc. Had people ruin friendships, my best friends parents see me as a terrible person due to the manipulation this person did, despite pure evidence of past abuse.

    But i guess people only like to see what they want to see, plus they seem to justify it by saying that you don't understand this person lost someone, eh I do understand but that doesn't justify 6 years of constant abuse. It seemed everyone just ignored or magically forgot the fact he abused me, even had specific people have a go at me for self defending myself, this person hated me, and they seemed to say, well some things you can never forgive someone for, are you fucking kidding me, I forgave him for 6 years of abuse, and one thing, he thinks JUSTIFIES hating me.

    But hey, he is good at twisting people, and I'm the bad guy, lost all my friends, practically have no one due to this prick. I don't usually hate someone, but.. in this case I do, he ruined my closest friendship which I had most of my life...
    Doesn't sound like this would have anything to do with your eating habits because I see any correlation really. The kind of abuse I would expect to alter eating habits would be being forced to eat food when not hungry, or when you don't like the food you are being forced to eat. Also not being fed is another type of abuse I can see that would cause issues with eating habits.

    However, even then I don't think it will necessarily cause problems. That's the type of stuff my ex step father, Joe, did to me as a kid. I was actually feeling quite sick to my stomach one day and he forced me to eat pizza. Not allowed to leave the table unless I ate it all. Long story short the next day I was seriously sick to my stomach. Had a stomach virus and again everyday, he was forcing me to eat when I could even keep water down. However, even with this experience ... I still don't see my eating habits as odd.




    [slightly disturbing part]
    I'm 19, but my suicidal thoughts, and depression started literally around 13, I'm pretty sure at the time diapers were a coping mechanism, because my interest seemed to spike around that time. I don't think it is normal for a 13 year old having dark thoughts.
    I certainly know how you feel. I once got yelled at by my Mom for threatening to kill myself when I was close to the same age. Although diapers for me where never a coping mechanism as far as i'm aware because that started long before then.




    I only told one person, who back stabbed me at the time, lets say at the time, I also used to self harm daily that being said, parents thought I was "doing it for attention"... even though I kept it to myself, someone found out and backstabbed. I did it on my legs though, so nobody could see. I haven't done that for years though. but i think that's due to the transitioning to me feeling nothing.
    I never could do the whole physical self harm thing. To much of wimp really. Though I would say I probably did cause a lot of mental self harm, such as doing things purposefully to sabotage myself. Or beating myself up mentally.



    Worst part is, I kept all the bullying to myself, no body did squat, which made me felt like no one cared, to this day I'm so pissed off teachers ignored it and didn't do anything. I can't seem to recall a lot of it, as my mind blocked out a lot of the abuse.
    Ya, same happened with me as well. Teachers would see it going on, but not really do anything about it. I will say I never went through the kind of abuse you have when it came to being bullied. Most of the abuse I went through was with family. Bullies often did beat me up and chase me everyday to the bus as well as pick on me constantly, but that is the full extent of that.

    For me it felt like I deserved it though at the time because I quite literally saw myself as some sort of abomination ... a mistake. That is pretty much how my family made me view myself. So for a while ... I did believe everything was my fault.

    This is again one of these situations where I wish I knew what to tell you and how to help, Shybug. The best I can do is give you virtual hugs and share my experiences to show that you are not alone. It's a shame in life that we have had to go through things like this. I do think these sort of things though shape us to whom we are today. While they where bad experiences, we can take those experiences and learn a great deal from it, not only to better ourselves but to better the future for others.

  3. #3

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Shybug View Post
    Well, I have some odd eating habbits, I practically eat only when I'm hungry, that usually is one meal a day, I sometimes have some snacks, but I find it hard to pig out on food.

    I actually find it hard to pig out on food, when I do, I get extremely tired.

    I also am fussy when it comes to food, I can't eat a lot of potato, can't eat much, and only eat specific foods, like I can eat tons of pizza for example, but more than one whole pizza, and I'm vomiting the next day.

    Is anyone else like this? I myself am very slim, I think a bit too slim once you think about it.

    I myself don't like to eat much, and don't force myself to eat when I don't have the need too, I've been like this ever since I started high school.

    I don't think it's a eating disorder or anything, but I find that I don't eat as much as other people, and actually dislike to eat when I'm not hungry.

    Anyone else the same? I'm not sure if I'm overweight, but being 60 kilos, and tall as hell, is a bit odd, most people I know are "bigger" than me by far.

    [possible reasons behind it]
    Some days I don't eat anything, just don't feel like it, makes me bloated. Though I'm pretty sure this had something to do with trauma to be honest, had a very traumatic experience in high school, hand was covered in blood, was terrible. even saw the blood pissing out, ewwies. (literally can picture it right now, and it's something that happens to resurface leading me into a depression again.), Had a person literally push me off a chair, almost cracked my head open, and was also threatened to have my head kicked in, and the list goes on.. even had someone threaten to stab / kill me.) Honestly, this has fucked my mental health up a lot, to the point I feel nothing at all) I can recall every little thing that happened that day, had to even lie about the fact I was bullied and that it was an "accident"... yeah)

    In my last couple years of primary school, was constantly kicked, I came home with my knees covered in blood, I had people jab pins into my back constantly was fucking painful. People thought it was a good idea to gather up all my friends and hide leaving me alone for the rest of the time I was at high school, was a loner etc. Had people ruin friendships, my best friends parents see me as a terrible person due to the manipulation this person did, despite pure evidence of past abuse.

    But i guess people only like to see what they want to see, plus they seem to justify it by saying that you don't understand this person lost someone, eh I do understand but that doesn't justify 6 years of constant abuse. It seemed everyone just ignored or magically forgot the fact he abused me, even had specific people have a go at me for self defending myself, this person hated me, and they seemed to say, well some things you can never forgive someone for, are you fucking kidding me, I forgave him for 6 years of abuse, and one thing, he thinks JUSTIFIES hating me.

    But hey, he is good at twisting people, and I'm the bad guy, lost all my friends, practically have no one due to this prick. I don't usually hate someone, but.. in this case I do, he ruined my closest friendship which I had most of my life...

    [slightly disturbing part]

    I'm 19, but my suicidal thoughts, and depression started literally around 13, I'm pretty sure at the time diapers were a coping mechanism, because my interest seemed to spike around that time. I don't think it is normal for a 13 year old having dark thoughts. I only told one person, who back stabbed me at the time, lets say at the time, I also used to self harm daily that being said, parents thought I was "doing it for attention"... even though I kept it to myself, someone found out and backstabbed. I did it on my legs though, so nobody could see. I haven't done that for years though. but i think that's due to the transitioning to me feeling nothing.

    Worst part is, I kept all the bullying to myself, no body did squat, which made me felt like no one cared, to this day I'm so pissed off teachers ignored it and didn't do anything. I can't seem to recall a lot of it, as my mind blocked out a lot of the abuse.
    Hi
    Thank you for sharing this with us.

    I just got home from my "mindful eating" group therapy and I understand a lot of what you are saying.

    I see several red flags and (I am sure I have said this before, But) I would strongly suggest you look into therapy.

    Some of this could be depression symptoms and PTSD. I am not a professional, but I do see that some help would be in order.
    Hope this helps.

    Egor

  4. #4

    Default

    I used to have a huge appetite when I was younger, but I've always been slim. I felt so sorry for my best mate at school who was overweight and used to look at my huge packed lunch with sheer amazement that I could eat that much and stay so skinny.

    When my depression/anxiety got really bad, I found it so hard to eat. I think the anxiety made my stomach muscles (and all other muscles) tense up, and the tenseness feels a bit like a full stomach.

    Anxiety also provokes the "fight or flight" response, which ramps down non-essential processes (like digesting food), so you can deal with the (non-existent, yet perpetual) danger. Depression makes you less interested in things (like cooking, eating, etc.) and less energetic (so maybe need to eat less anyway). I find that both anxiety and depression can give me a kind of detached out-of-body experience (depersonalisation, derealisation, etc.) that... almost makes me forget that I have a physical body I need to take care of.

    And, despite lacking consciousness, the gut is very much like the brain. It's densely packed with nerve cells, dedicated to the task of extracting nutrients from food (which is understandably an incredibly complex process). If I remember correctly, neurotransmitters (like serotonin and dopamine) affect the working of the gut as well as the brain. So it's no wonder that mood disorders affect your appetite. I think it's interesting that you mention your trauma in relation to appetite -- it's like you intuitively know they're related somehow.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gut%E2%80%93brain_axis
    https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...ss-and-disease
    http://www.everydayhealth.com/hs/maj...t-on-appetite/

    I tend to eat once a day, too. But it's not healthy. Your blood-sugar and hormone levels will be rising and crashing, making you feel tired, irritable and generally not great... which exacerbates feeling miserable and not being bothered about cooking/eating. And, by not eating, your stomach shrinks, so when you do eat you feel really full and bloated... even though you still haven't eaten enough to get sufficient nutrition to be healthy. And then I get into this endless cycle of feeling rubbish, not eating enough, so feeling more rubbish, then your stomach shrinks and you can't eat enough in one go to actually fulfil your hunger... so you learn to ignore it... and then you do the same the next day...

    You can try to stimulate your appetite by making sure you have something small when you get up (a slice of toast? a boiled egg?). Eating wholemeal foods with complex carbohydrates (brown rice, brown bread, wholemeal pasta, cereals, pulses, etc.) release energy gradually over a longer time, so you don't get an energy high/crash. Reducing sugar and caffeine intake is a good idea too.

    I also think it's interesting that you mentioned self-harm... I wonder whether starving yourself/myself is just a less visible form of self-harm... :-/

    I was vegetarian for ten years. But when I "lost the plot" most recently and became ill through poor diet, I became omnivorous again. The food you eat makes a massive difference on your body, both physically and mentally.

    My therapist suggested coming up with an eating plan and sticking to it... but I found that really hard... I dunno... Let me know if you come up with any good ideas. I really need to sort out my eating/sleeping circadian-rhythm randomness.

  5. #5

    Default

    I'm another one who doesn't eat a lot. I don't eat breakfast and I make myself eat something for lunch. Typically it's just an English Muffin. My wife and I don't have a lot for dinner unless we go out to eat, but even then, neither one of us over eats. My problem is that I like to snack late at night, but I try to limit myself because that's where you can gain weight.

    I also suffer from some depression and when it's worse, I usually don't have any appetite. There are a few pounds I'd like to lose, but mostly it's an exercise thing. I need to reestablish a routine of working out.

  6. #6

    Default

    I find that I don't always get hungry for a long time if I'm not keeping a regular schedule, but if I don't eat at least a little bit regularly, it tends to affect my mood and overall energy. I won't say you need to stick to three square meals a day or anything, but I do think it's helpful to try and eat at least a couple times a day, and to eat something with a bit of different nutrients when you do (like, if you just eat sugar, you might feel full, but then you'll feel bad later). I'd suggest keeping some stuff like nuts and raisins around mixed with other snacks so that you can grab them sometimes and mix up what sorts of nutrients you're getting even if you don't want to take the time to prepare something more substantial.

  7. #7

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    I'm similar in several respects, though not exactly the same.

    I've always been a picky / light eater, even as a teenager. Any sort of stress diminishes my appetite, and if I'm particularly stressed or anxious I get sick to my stomach, and end up living on nothing but fluids for days or sometimes weeks. When I'm feeling generally well, I still eat lightly, and I'm very picky about certain foods (mainly meats), and allergic / sensitive to others (such as anything non-organic which isn't thoroughly cooked, but also kind of random things like parsnips, cherries, etc).

    I also suffered quite a bit of abuse as a child, and that included forced eating. This involved not only being forced to finish my plate, but also timing how long it took me to chew and swallow each bite, and other things which I find difficult to even discuss. >.>;

    I can also relate to being a loner in grade school. I didn't have more than a couple of friends until the Internet arrived, and I started meeting people from far away. My social circle throughout high school was online, I was a near-total outcast amongst my classmates. I also had teachers look the other way when I was bullied, and had to learn to defend myself. Fortunately, I was never physically attacked by a group or anything, and mostly escaped physical harm. I was only physically attacked once, actually, by an upperclassman who initiated contact by sneaking up behind me and slamming my head into the lockers hard enough to draw blood. -.- At the time I was carrying a laptop to class (a PowerBook G3, which was built relatively like a tank compared with modern notebooks) and carried it in a bag with a shoulder strap. I swung it by the strap and clocked him in the head with it. I gather he was too embarrassed to go to the nurse and he probably didn't end up with any worse than a "goose egg", but the important thing was that he left me alone after that. And of course, the teachers looked the other way...

    Diapers haven't been so much a coping mechanism for me, I don't think. My love of them has been there for as long as I can remember. I wanted to be back in them when I was 5 years old. It's a curious phenomenon, though I do have a couple of pet theories...

    Anyway. I'm sorry that I don't have any truly useful or helpful advice to offer here, aside from essentially comparing notes. I haven't quite been pushed to the point of direct physical self-injury, but I've been very close before. I do tend to habitually neglect myself and bring about harm in other less direct ways, so I know the tendency is there and very much active. Much of the abuse I suffered in recent years under my former boss exacerbated it greatly. I'm still holding off from self-injury by willpower, among other reasons because I understand it can become addicting. I've known a few people who struggled with it in much greater measure. I'm sorry that you've been pushed to that point. *hugs*

    As others have noted, keeping nutrition up is important. I'd encourage trying to eat nutritious and varied foods when you do feel hungry, paying particular attention to adequate protein and fat intake, and keep nutrient-rich snacks around (nuts, yogurt, fresh or dried fruit / berries, pumpkin seeds, etc). Also, it's probably a good idea to take a multivitamin; I always feel better, both physically and mentally, when I'm taking them.

    If my own experience is any indication, it will probably take a long time to get past all of what you've endured. But you'll become that much stronger for it as you make progress, bit by bit. Hang in there.

  8. #8

    Default

    I'm a lot like this, I usually eat a couple things at the beginning of the day and might not eat much for another 10-12 hours, I do have some healthy snacks like a handful of nuts occasionally though. I think after years of doing this my body has adapted a bit and i don't really notice..

    though when others around me tell me they have not eaten for 6 hours and they are "Starving". its a little hard for me to empathize.


    one of the most unpleasant sensations i can think of, is over eating.


    I don't think my lack of appetite is a symptom of anything in particular, I believe its more just a side effect of the life I've lived.

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