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Thread: Sociopathic, Narracistic or whatever.

  1. #1

    Default Sociopathic, Narracistic or whatever.

    Looking at my dads side of the family, Sociopathic tendencies run in the family, pretty sure my nana is a full on sociopath, chopped peoples fingers off etc. (there are family members who are very cold but like me wouldn't hurt someone)

    Now, looking at myself, and my past, I realize something, maybe I am a bit sociopathic, but socially responsable. It's rather odd, my emotions have always been a bit dim, even growing up. I've lost family members, and didn't give two shits about it, shit happens. I must admit I am a bit self centered, but you have to look after number one I suppose, but at the same time I'm not because even though I give two shits, I do present myself as a caring person, and generally wouldn't harm anyone, I stay socially responsable, but honestly when it comes to people like bullies, If it wasn't illegal, I would drag them across the street and beat the shit out of them, but I have control. I often have dark thoughts but never act on them.

    For example, I could see someone as a sack of shit, with no purpose in society, but i never go up to them and say that, that's what I mean by being socially responsable, but I don't hate someone for no reason.

    I can get very cold sometimes, I've accomplished a lot for someone my age, yet I don't get any recognition, while some idiot who can spell complicated words gets praised as a genius. There was this girl in my year 12 class, that i would class as a genius, not some fuckwitt who can spell a couple words, and get straight A's, This chick was bumped up grades, accomplished a lot for someone her age. I'm practically the only one who noticed she was gifted, which was odd, would of loved to have some deep conversations with her, but of course I didn't.

    There was a time I had a love for everyone, but due to how I was treated most of my life (practically a sack of shit, with no friends, got no respect, no one acknowledges anything I do.) but than a time in my life came when I realized that idoits are getting praised as genuises for doing something as stupid as spelling a hard to spell word, sure i couldn't do that, but that doesn't qualify someone as a fucking genius. Ironically this person didn't accomplish anything in life, because he was such a arrogant up himself narcissist. You should of seen how he treated me most of my life, talked to me like I was stupid, but eventually that came back to bite him on his arse, since it turned out he practically accomplished nothing in his life. I don't even see myself as smart honestly, I see myself stupid because of my high expectations, and impossible to do tasks.

    Although I have a low ego problem, at a young age, everyone around me practically seemed like a god damn idiot, I felt like an alien because I had interests in science, technology and computers (which actually still exists in me today)

    Academia wise I have accomplished a lot, lets say this, failed high school, did a certificate 3, now doing a diploma, than uni afterwards, reason being is i'm tight on money at the moment, wanted to do uni but had to drop out due to not having enough money for books due to my mother taking 90% of my dosh.

    Sorry if this seems dark, but that's how i feel, I'm not sure if that's normal. I found it odd, because i never fitted in, but than i realized it's due to how much I actually know, I know people with aspergers with more freinds than me, I honestly have nothing to say to people, as can't "go down to there level" and talk about crap like kim I suppose.

    I've always been a fast learner, and I always thought that's why I was different, most people took days to understand the things I could, I never found anything hard to learn, and once I learn something it sticks with me, I don't mean, like I know something, but I'll forget it in a couple days, I could read a book, and remember the most important stuff, and it'll stick, I could even remember that information in a couple years. (obviously sometimes stuff gets pushed out) and I end up forgetting it, but core stuff I won't.

    That's actually how i learned C, I read one book, and it literally stuck, I still know a lot of it but am rusty to this day. Though due to mental problems, sometimes I have times where I'm blank and can't remember jack, but the day after i'll be able to write full on programs. i only got better once I read more and more books.

  2. #2

    Default

    Damn... I'm the exact same way. I had to stop reading halfway through to make sure this a recent thread, and not something I posted a long time ago with an account I forgot.

    Look up Schizoid Personality Disorder and see if that hits home for you.

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