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Thread: Holiday Depression

  1. #1

    Default Holiday Depression

    Christmas used to be my favorite time of the year when I was a kid.... then after college, relative after relative dying made it less fun and more a chore, there was about one thing that made me even want to put up the effort, that said she died 3 months ago. I don't know how to even fathom this Christmas. Anyone else in a "bah humbug" kind of mood?

  2. #2

    Default

    Yes! Christmas becomes less fun and more of an obligation to buy people things as you get older. It also seems like bad things happen to me around the holidays. I really wish I could feel more of that magic I used to feel when I was younger, but no matter how deep I get into little space I don't anymore.

  3. #3

    Default

    I can understand.

    For me it was a different story and the day was stressful because we where suppose to be little adults.

    Now that I have my own family it is better, but with clinical depression the season is a chore, then add the limited light/seasonal depression to the picture and it is even harder to deal with.

  4. #4

    Default

    I'm probably the only person who lost 10 pounds over thanksgiving week.

  5. #5

    Default

    It's a chore for me by now too, honestly. I don't feel the magic anymore. It's a weekend visiting mom with extra traffic and some decorations up, and the obligatory gifts.

    Also, I'm not sure it was 10 pounds, but I lost a fair bit over Thanksgiving week while stressing out alone. o.o *hugs* You're not the only one...

  6. #6

    Default

    Magic of Christmas starts to fade quickly when its been hit hard by Wal-mart syndrome. If only we lived in a society that prioritized quality time spent with loved ones vs. materialism.

  7. #7

    Default

    q

    Quote Originally Posted by rennecfox View Post
    Christmas used to be my favorite time of the year when I was a kid.... then after college, relative after relative dying made it less fun and more a chore, there was about one thing that made me even want to put up the effort, that said she died 3 months ago. I don't know how to even fathom this Christmas. Anyone else in a "bah humbug" kind of mood?
    I wish I could say something that could help you feel better right now, something that could make you feel the excitement of Christmas like when you were a kid. Unfortunately, I don't think I can find the words to give you that peace today. It takes time to get over the loss of a loved one, and considering it's only been three months since the loss of your mother, you're still in the grieving process. It takes time... so take the time. Everyone grieves at their own pace.

    I went through a time in my life where I lost my partner to suicide, and my two best friends were also taken from me, one in a car accident, and one in another suicide. At the age of twenty-two, I remember feeling so old and worn down, watching everyone around me dying, while others moved away. The first Christmas afterwards was the worst, pretending everything was fine, that I had gotten on with my life, and not wanting to ruin Christmas for others with my depression. I faked it as best I could that year. I remember the following year, I went overboard on getting a big tree and putting up bright lights all over the place, which was strange because it wasn't the sort of thing I had done in any of the previous years. I think perhaps I was determined to to get on with my life and make things seem as 'normal' as possible again or to start a new normal. It think it helped a bit, but it took time before I reached that stage and starting moving forward with my life again.

    What you're feeling now won't last forever. I know how much it hurts, feeling that the your world will never be the same, but it will get better in time. For now, don't be afraid to acknowledge what you're feeling, it's normal, just try and do what you can and remember that Christmas is about being with the people who are closest to you. Celebrate with your family and friends and all those who loved your mother. Hold them close and draw support from them, take some time together to remember the past Christmases fondly, and raise a toast to your mother. Your family is likely feeling the same sense of loss that you're feeling, so it's important that you talk about it with them and decide together how to plan this Christmas so that everyone feels comfortable with the proceedings.

    It's the first year without her, so it's natural that you don't know what steps to take. No one does. It's like learning a new dance and not knowing the moves, but you eventually settle in to the timing and the rhythm, and the balance reestablishes itself over time. It will be different, but there will be happy times again. And most importantly, don't feel guilty to find those moments that make you laugh and smile this time of year. You can't feel sad all the time. It's not healthy, and the last thing your mother would want is your family feeling miserable and depressed.

    It may be too soon to say Merry Christmas, rennecfox, but I wish you peace and brighter lights in the years ahead.
    Last edited by Starrunner; 04-Dec-2016 at 01:57.

  8. #8

    Default

    The holidays can be a difficult time of year for many people. I used to love Christmas and seeing my family and the food that came with it. Over the last oh 5 years or more while I still enjoy the holiday it's not what it once was. Part is family passing away and part is the commercialism of the holidays where Christmas stuff is put out in stores the first week of October.

  9. #9

    Default

    The last few years I've remade Christmas morning the way I want it to be. I get up at 3 am and go for a long walk through town to see all the lights. Nobody else out, quiet, sometimes I leave small surprise presents on friend's porches. A couple of neighborhoods near churches line the sidewalks with luminaria (brown paper lunchbags, weighted, with tea candles inside). When there's a little snow, it's picture postcard stuff. Mrs. Maxx thinks I'm nuts. I don't know if I would want her to join me on the walk anyway. She'd probably ruin it with constant play-by-play commentary.

  10. #10
    MarchinBunny

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by rennecfox View Post
    Christmas used to be my favorite time of the year when I was a kid.... then after college, relative after relative dying made it less fun and more a chore, there was about one thing that made me even want to put up the effort, that said she died 3 months ago. I don't know how to even fathom this Christmas. Anyone else in a "bah humbug" kind of mood?
    For me Christmas has become less fun over time simply cause family wasn't much of a family. I say over time, but the truth is it started when I was quite young. Family always fighting and picking and choosing who can and can't come. Now ... I don't spend Christmas with my family at all.

    With that said, I don't necessarily hate Christmas. But ya, I am typically in the "bah humbug" kind of mood during this time.

    However, at the end of the day I do get to spend Christmas with my Ex's family right now. So I suppose that is good, although it's a bit disconcerting because I know i'm not really family and feel entirely out of place.

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