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Thread: Hating male appearance.

  1. #1

    Default Hating male appearance.

    I sometimes hate my male appearance, I have this hatred for it.

    Usually stems from jealously I see myself as a female, but when I get jealous, I kind of also hate my male appearance in return. Sometimes I see a very cute female, and am jealous I myself am not that cute, and probs won't ever be.

    Do any of you sissies or girls feel the same way? question could apply to anyone.

  2. #2

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    From a trans perspective:

    Yes. Very much. I remember going through puberty and dreading every single change. I hoped, in vain, that I would have no facial hair or maybe just very little. I hoped, in vain, that my voice wouldn't drop. I hoped I wouldn't ever have much body hair.

    It could have been worse, I suppose. I'm not broad-shouldered and without the hair my face is probably passable. But, without a lot of modification, I feel like right now there's just no way I can actually be cute or pretty. It bothers me more than most people would imagine.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by Shybug View Post
    Sometimes I see a very cute female, and am jealous I myself am not that cute


    Quote Originally Posted by Sapphyre View Post
    I feel like right now there's just no way I can actually be cute or pretty. It bothers me more than most people would imagine.
    Hmmm.
    Body image issues.
    Self Doubt.
    Comparing yourself to other women.
    Being jealous of and/or wishing you had certain attributes seen in other girls.

    Well, all I can say is one thing to the both of you .........

    Welcome to being a girl

  4. #4

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    I have certainly experienced what you're talking about before. Nothing stinks more than desiring so strongly something that feels out of reach.

    The most important advice I can give is that nothing is truly, truly out of reach, you just have to change your standards and have approachable, realistic goals. Anyone assigned male at birth can get themselves quite cute if they actually apply themselves, and if it matters to you then you have to try and struggle through the rough parts.

    As a trans girl, I try to remember that being a trans girl is just as viable, just as real, a way to be a girl than a cis girl. We are both girls. Their appearance is no "MORE" a girls appearance than mine. I tell myself when I'm feeling weak and sad in this area that. I'm a girl. With a girls appearance. If other people don't want to recognize it, that's their problem.

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by MandyBear View Post
    Hmmm.
    Body image issues.
    Self Doubt.
    Comparing yourself to other women.
    Being jealous of and/or wishing you had certain attributes seen in other girls.

    Well, all I can say is one thing to the both of you .........

    Welcome to being a girl
    when you put it that way.. i remember few weeks ago when my brother and his girlfriend stopped by for a visit. we went for a walk and when we sat down for a cigarette break i caught myself unintentionaly looking at her shoes with a bit of jealousy. i really liked her shoes..

    i feel a lot more girly now <3

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by cuddlekitty46 View Post
    i caught myself unintentionaly looking at her shoes with a bit of jealousy. i really liked her shoes.
    Ya, that happens, a lot, lol.

  7. #7
    MarchinBunny

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by gigglemuffinz View Post
    Their appearance is no "MORE" a girls appearance than mine. I tell myself when I'm feeling weak and sad in this area that. I'm a girl. With a girls appearance. If other people don't want to recognize it, that's their problem.
    I don't know if I can quite agree with this. I mean I don't mean to shoot down your advice or anything here, but what you said here simply isn't true. It's just a fib you tell yourself to make you feel better. Personally speaking I would say accepting the truth and still accepting it is the way to go.

    Can you get to the point where your appearance is the same as a biologically born female? Yes, certainly. It does take a lot of work though. But you can't just tell yourself you have the appearance of a girl if you don't. I mean don't get me wrong, I do like the sound of your advice and wish it was actually the case.

    Well, on the other hand, it could just be me misunderstanding what you are trying to say.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by brabbit1987 View Post
    I don't know if I can quite agree with this. I mean I don't mean to shoot down your advice or anything here, but what you said here simply isn't true. It's just a fib you tell yourself to make you feel better. Personally speaking I would say accepting the truth and still accepting it is the way to go.

    Can you get to the point where your appearance is the same as a biologically born female? Yes, certainly. It does take a lot of work though. But you can't just tell yourself you have the appearance of a girl if you don't. I mean don't get me wrong, I do like the sound of your advice and wish it was actually the case.

    Well, on the other hand, it could just be me misunderstanding what you are trying to say.
    You haven't misunderstood, and forgive me for any intensity in my reply.. I'm super passionate about what I'm about to say. Hehe. .-.

    Pre-transition trans girls are girls. Pre-transition trans boys are boys. I am a girl right now and the validation of hormones and surgery should be entirely to make me more comfortable. It shouldn't be the requirement for being accepted for who I am. I truly do believe this isn't a fib. I'm female. Right now.

    If this is true, then the rest of my statement should flow naturally from that argument. My body is a girl's body. I have a girl's penis and I'm not ashamed to say that

    I understand deep and painful dsyphoria, and wanting so desperately a form that matches what society says is the typical performance of my gender, but that should be a personal decision that someone should make to make the them that they want to be. Not a requirement for society to accept them for who they are.. As more and more trans people come out of the closet and has the future becomes increasingly the now, we are simply finding that some girls have penises, and some boys have vaginas.

    The most concise defense for this argument and how it's not a fib is this; Wouldn't it be very true that you would be called a sexist for telling a cis woman that she was less of a woman, just because she wore her hair short? Or wore a certain type of clothing? Or liked certain hobbies? I believe this argument naturally flows into being trans. I will not let anyone tell me that I'm less of a woman, or I don't have a "woman's" appearance. 50% outdated notions of woman and 50% robbing my the agency of my gender.

    Honestly I could go on and on as to why this mindset is important and necessary. Continuing a trend of language that equates typical ideas of womanhood as requirements forces trans women to be excessively feminine whether they want to or not just to gain acceptance, and tells the trans girls who cannot for whatever reason medically undergo surgery/HRT that they will never be accepted.

  9. #9
    MarchinBunny

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    Quote Originally Posted by gigglemuffinz View Post
    You haven't misunderstood, and forgive me for any intensity in my reply.. I'm super passionate about what I'm about to say. Hehe. .-.

    Pre-transition trans girls are girls. Pre-transition trans boys are boys. I am a girl right now and the validation of hormones and surgery should be entirely to make me more comfortable. It shouldn't be the requirement for being accepted for who I am. I truly do believe this isn't a fib. I'm female. Right now.

    If this is true, then the rest of my statement should flow naturally from that argument. My body is a girl's body. I have a girl's penis and I'm not ashamed to say that

    I understand deep and painful dsyphoria, and wanting so desperately a form that matches what society says is the typical performance of my gender, but that should be a personal decision that someone should make to make the them that they want to be. Not a requirement for society to accept them for who they are.. As more and more trans people come out of the closet and has the future becomes increasingly the now, we are simply finding that some girls have penises, and some boys have vaginas.

    The most concise defense for this argument and how it's not a fib is this; Wouldn't it be very true that you would be called a sexist for telling a cis woman that she was less of a woman, just because she wore her hair short? Or wore a certain type of clothing? Or liked certain hobbies? I believe this argument naturally flows into being trans. I will not let anyone tell me that I'm less of a woman, or I don't have a "woman's" appearance. 50% outdated notions of woman and 50% robbing my the agency of my gender.

    Honestly I could go on and on as to why this mindset is important and necessary. Continuing a trend of language that equates typical ideas of womanhood as requirements forces trans women to be excessively feminine whether they want to or not just to gain acceptance, and tells the trans girls who cannot for whatever reason medically undergo surgery/HRT that they will never be accepted.
    I entirely disagree 100%. Nothing you have said here invalidates my point that you are lying to yourself. Just as you are, I am also pretty passionate about this subject. So please try not to take what I say as an attack.

    How one dresses and wears their hair is not on par with something that is a biological trait. If someone is born with 6 fingers, you can't say they have 5 fingers. That is disregarding reality and it is 100% lying to yourself. This is more of a matter between reality and not reality. I am sorry to tell you this, but by human biology, girls do not have penises. Girls also have a different body shape. Again, this is biology, not something like changing ones hair. We are talking about a different set of genes. Different hormones. Different physical appearances.

    You can't just claim you have a females body when you don't. What you are trying to do is redefine things that nature has already decided. You can't change it simply by saying, "I don't like it" and "it should be this way." Nature doesn't care what you think, nature isn't going to change just cause you may not like it.

    Another example, is I am born with brown hair. I can't leave my hair brown and then claim it's blond. That would be a very profoundly inaccurate statement. Just like having a body of a male and claiming it's a female body. It's not. At least not according to nature.

    Now of course there are some deformities that can cause a female to be born with a penis. However, that is a deformity, and it's still a male body organ, not a female one.

    Edit:
    Basically what I am saying, just to clarify ...
    Claiming you have a female body is pointing out something of physical existence that we can actually prove whether or not that person has a female body. I am not saying, you can't consider yourself female. I consider myself female after all, but I would never claim I have a female body, because I don't.
    Last edited by MarchinBunny; 23-Nov-2016 at 14:37.

  10. #10

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    What you said Brabbit is correct, but I think you're missing the point Gigglemuffinz is making.

    She is trying to make us question something that we have accepted and have probably never questioned. To question our preconceived and early ingrained notions is a good thing.

    And I see her point: she's a girl, therefore her body is a girl's body, is it not?

    We all have a notion of what a female body is, but I think there is room to broaden that notion.

    In the end, both view points are correct I think, just different concepts or ways to look at it.

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