LittleJess
Banned
- Messages
- 1,089
I haven't paid much attention to this a lot lately, but I actually hate my male body, I hate having a penis honestly, but I usually think about other things, but this does cause me distress.
I just want to be a pretty girl, but at the same time, I have the body of a man, and that in itself, does a huge conflict with my brain, as I feel me being trans is a bad thing, somewhat internal shame is going on.
Sometimes I just want to cut it off, (not literally as that would be painful) and wished I had the right parts, words can't explain how weird it feels when I have deep thoughts about my body, but I prefer not to think about it.
I can feel a conflict going on, between myself and my body. Diapers in a way, gives off the illusion I have nothing down there, which in a way provides me comfort, I keep forgetting I have male parts, and would rather not have them, as being a true girl is what will make me happy.
I feel female on the inside, but on the outside I'm male, and at times this drives me mental, as I never really think about my male body, but than I look in the mirror and realize I have a body of a male.
I don't know why I even care, but I do, this drives me mental. I feel that my body parts are a major factor in my depression now that I think about it, and I feel that I may never look like a real girl. that being said I'm not muscular or fat, I'm a bit too slim not really have a male like build to me.
I'm still in the closet so to speak, I occasionally cross dress, and my male clothes actually in themselves makes me sad, oddly enough female clothes just "feel right" I don't know why, but when I put on a bra and underwear, I just feel happy and like myself, doesn't feel weird, just feels natural, and cute >.<
I also keep thinking about girly things like makeup, I'm dying to try some lipstick and some nail polish, I don't know if you're born trans, but I must say, that I've always had a unintentionally girly personality. even playing with dolls at a young age was a bit weird.
I just want to be a pretty girl, but at the same time, I have the body of a man, and that in itself, does a huge conflict with my brain, as I feel me being trans is a bad thing, somewhat internal shame is going on.
Sometimes I just want to cut it off, (not literally as that would be painful) and wished I had the right parts, words can't explain how weird it feels when I have deep thoughts about my body, but I prefer not to think about it.
I can feel a conflict going on, between myself and my body. Diapers in a way, gives off the illusion I have nothing down there, which in a way provides me comfort, I keep forgetting I have male parts, and would rather not have them, as being a true girl is what will make me happy.
I feel female on the inside, but on the outside I'm male, and at times this drives me mental, as I never really think about my male body, but than I look in the mirror and realize I have a body of a male.
I don't know why I even care, but I do, this drives me mental. I feel that my body parts are a major factor in my depression now that I think about it, and I feel that I may never look like a real girl. that being said I'm not muscular or fat, I'm a bit too slim not really have a male like build to me.
I'm still in the closet so to speak, I occasionally cross dress, and my male clothes actually in themselves makes me sad, oddly enough female clothes just "feel right" I don't know why, but when I put on a bra and underwear, I just feel happy and like myself, doesn't feel weird, just feels natural, and cute >.<
I also keep thinking about girly things like makeup, I'm dying to try some lipstick and some nail polish, I don't know if you're born trans, but I must say, that I've always had a unintentionally girly personality. even playing with dolls at a young age was a bit weird.