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Thread: I think it's time I told

  1. #1

    Default I think it's time I told

    I am bricking this, I have not told him yet but yesterday he said I needed more help and suggested I see a professional mental health person, he said my problems are caused deep down but sooner or later they are going to have to find out about my 2year old perssona.

    This could either go 2 ways, it could go terrible but he said him and his grilfriend is behind me all the way. I have mentioned ABDL before but I referred to a program we watched. He said that they are not right in the head or something is seriously wrong with them. But if I could explain how I am really feeling and learn to be a adult sometimes an make vanilla friends who I hang with, I suppose it would make everything a lot better. Because it has come to my mind finally that I want to be adult sometimes and I need to find my adult hobbies and then I can be independent and little when I get back home.

    But I also need to be an adult without burning out, my theory though it may be wrong, is that i need to express myself properly in front of my dad, i don't expect him to change my diapers or anything, but as long as he lets me suck a pacifier or drink form a sippy cup and that he knows I wear diapers and accepts me for who I am, but also his behaviour would have to change, not only would he have to accept me and not give me any funny looks, he would have to cut out on his rude wording, like, he calls a diaper bag, a shit shell, he says piss and shit a lot. He would call me dirty but if I emphases how I clean up after myself straight away and don't leave the diapers hanging around, I ma still not sure how to tell him.

    Emotionally what I need from dad sometimes is a cuddle and him letting me suck my paci and wtach young children's programs and comfort me when upset and play with me. He often doesn't actually want to play with me but just playing in the same room as him is often not enough. I don't want to freak my dad out with this but if I carry on as I am, I am certainly going to end up in a hospital. I want him to play toddler games and sing nursery rhymes like he did when I was a toddler. He is defiantly not going to like this at all. But I feel like he allows this then I can be more able to act adult like outside of home and more likely to feel confident and able to find my adult interests and find myself some friends.

    I want him to relise whilst my desire to be babied or rather the emotional need will still be there, but if he does that, i would be more likely to cope with him not being there for longer and I would be able to cope when I move out and find somebody else to do it for him. I repeat, I do not expect or want him to change my diapers or feed me, but if he treats me like a child and accepts the diapers and pacifier, and sippy, then that would be enough and my life will move forward and as will the ability to cope and adult side would be Broader.

    Also he is taking me to see a phychiartrist about my mental health problems so I suppose the phychiartrist will have something to say about this.

    Should I tell him? What do you think could come out of this? What would the phychiartrist say?

  2. #2

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    Sure, only you know what to do. But just keep in mind that you're unlikely to be living at home for all that much longer, and is it really fair to him. Unless you're planning to make it a kind of common knowledge, then why would you want him to know. Truly, he is unlikely to want to engage with you the way he did when you were an actual toddler, even though you miss that time with him. You're probably better off learning to enjoy a more adult relationship with him. Save your dd/lg thing for a personal intimate relationship with someone else...it can happen, and is a much safer option.

  3. #3

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    It's not sexual at all, just a more hugs type of relationship and more understanding is just what I want.

    - - - Updated - - -

    I feel it's effecting my mental health as I have to keep this side of me a secret and there is only so much lying you can do before it's too much

  4. #4

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    Yeah sure I get that, but I'm guessing that you can still get snuggles with your dad without revealing the whole baby thing. It will most probably just freak him out. Truth is, that reality is so far from our fantasy. The good thing is that you can be as little as you need to be in your mind, but just hang on to a veneer of adulthood for appearance sake...yeah that sucks, but it's safe.

  5. #5

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    Maybe i could just tell him that I want more cuddles and spend more time with him in general doing more than just wtaching TV, maybe if I had a hobby that I could engage with him with, or if he sometimes joined in a bit more with the toys or just interacted with me more in general

    - - - Updated - - -

    Maybe I could avoid the baby explanation then, cuz all I want really is more cuddles and attention

  6. #6

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    To be honest, I would leave anything DDLG or to do with being little to when you have a daddy dom, not your bio dad, because I think it would just be a bit strange, because I have been in a DDLG relationship and being that close to someone is very intimate, not something you want with a relative, and by intimate I don't mean sexual, I just mean to have that strong of a connection to someone should be reserved for relationships

  7. #7

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    Agreed. Your biological dad's responsibility is to help you mature into an adult, not to baby you. You do have a right to be diapered around him (he has no right to say what kind of underwear you use, especially as an adult), and maybe even use a sippy cup or pacifier around him too (which is no worse than smoking or drinking beer in front of you). This only goes so far as your dad accepting you for who you are though, and not including him to participate. If your dad does or does not want to cuddle with you, then that's his choice and you should respect that. Of course, you'd have to discuss it with him to find out. Talk this over with your therapist, and see what kind of approach you should take.

  8. #8

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    If you can't function without unusual interaction from him, which he may be unwilling to provide, you give credence to his concerns that you're not healthy. From all you have said, I think you might well benefit from seeing someone. I obviously don't see anything wrong with being an ABDL/Little in and of itself, but you don't seem happy as you are.

  9. #9

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    I am starting to decide on just hugging dad and pick some activities that adults do and I can bond with my dad that way. Maybe I can ask if he can play with me some time

  10. #10

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    Ok..*deep breath* here we go


    Before I get too far into replying, Im going to attempt to outline a timeline of events.

    Last march, you began as far as I know, to incorporate abdl things into your lifetyle, in ever increasing ways. this period for you specifically was especially hard, and i was saddened to read about your mother's illness and her passing..
    ----------------------------------------------------------------------
    Around the end of june, You posted this thread entry:

    "I was chatting with dad about my childhood when he told me that it's silly to grow up, I told him I like playing with toys and he was accepting and encouraging, he also liked kids things and we were discussing toys for like an hour, it feels so good to finally tell someone, he told me that it's ok as long as I don't push it on other people. I can't believe it! I didn't tell him about my pacis and diapers and other baby stuff, he would think it was bad as he watched Riley kilos my strange addiction and he though it was strange. I couldn't tell my mom though...

    I had a nightmare a little while back where dad was telling that I was wasting my time and that I -wouldn't go anywhere in life because of my infantilism but it turned out I was wrong"


    You had felt better at having opened up to your father a bit more about your little side, and he expresses his worry about pushing this onto other people, and you expressed your worry that his main concern would be that infantalism was keeping you from going anywhere in life.

    even in the back of your mind, upon being reassured to some degree by your father, you were able to internally recognize that your inclination for "little things" and the mindset that comes with them, may be causing you to miss out on expierances normally expieranced at your age.

    NOW before we go too far along with outrage or disagreement, stating that its impossible to relate to youth around your own age, who according to your previous posts, seem to be obsessed with sex and whos sexing who, allow me to continue.

    Its extreamly easy for cultures and people to develope systematic dismisalls of various groups of people. this includes your peers. I have not been a teenager for a bit now, but I can say that part of the excitment of being a youth in my teens or early twenties, was having discussions about life and the new things coming our way, whether it was philisophical natured, politcal, even religious. our opinions were things we wanted to share with each other left and right. I dont recall hours of gobbing on "whos bonking biffy", I wonder if you have really given YOURSELF a chance to explore and find enjoyment in discussions with your peers?
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    the next section, is a quote from a thread you had started in regards to your interaction with your peers, and their less then mature actions. (no..no one had any potty accidents )

    "I was bullied badly from the time I was 10 right up to a couple of years ago. As a result I have become so nervous of coming outside that I can imagine hearing somebody insulting me and sometimes I think I hear it when I don't! I walk down the street inventing responses to any possible slurs that may occur, (they never do). I am on tender hooks everytime I walk past a group of lads or a clique of girls. I have got slurs on the street before but I showed that I was nervous. Since I have put on a brave front, they have stopped. I am still frightened everytime I go out that I am going to get beaten up despite it never happened once, I have had nightmares of being beaten up. "


    these left over social anxeities have outlived their usefullness, they are no longer a high school survival mechanism, they are inhibiting you ability to trust and build a desire to reach out to your peers. I have no solutions to get rid of them, I am merely identifying them as a cause aside from your disagreements on the content of your peers discourse, to indicate a further wedge driven between you and your desire to identify with your age group

    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    as we go through the time lines, that last one was in early august, I see more and more evidence of your work towards achieving and immersing yourself back to a toddler similar lifestyle.
    while I would be a hypocrit to say that there is anything directly wrong with this, I feel it is more treating the symptoms then the cause.

    Its reasonable to assume that the further you are able to immerse yourself, the less you will feel the trepidation or anxeity associated with social situations, as children are not expected to be in these situations, its easy to scoff at them as meaningless drivel revolving again around "who biffy is boffing"


    However, immersing yourself increasingly in your refuge of littlism, does exacerbate the negative emotions and feelings you will have regarding non little activities or social situations.
    Only a balance between the two can allow you to develop confidence in both areas.

    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    recently, you were going for a vacation to your nana's, and your father asked you again to not push the lifestyle onto others, I do not know all the details of your visit aside from the following:

    "Well... It went better than expected, nana was a bit quiet but before I told her, I was making out how well I was doing in my studies and that I was meeting a couple of friends. She seemed pleased with me and especially the fact that I confided in her and trusted. It got a big weight off my shoulders but I wasn't sure if she completly got what I was saying. She was glad that I could look after the little cusions well."

    I'm sure your father was asked about this, by his mother, I'm sure it was difficult for him, and added to any motivation he had to bring up the latest discussions regarding therapy with you as well, from his point of view, it must appear that you are unable to consider other peoples reactions or the impact of your actions on them, and im sure if worrying. thankfully its very obvious to me, and im glad to say YOU, that both him and his girlfriend want to support you no matter what.
    ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    Quote Originally Posted by Angelic View Post
    But I also need to be an adult without burning out, my theory though it may be wrong, is that i need to express myself properly in front of my dad, i don't expect him to change my diapers or anything, but as long as he lets me suck a pacifier or drink form a sippy cup and that he knows I wear diapers and accepts me for who I am, but also his behaviour would have to change, not only would he have to accept me and not give me any funny looks, he would have to cut out on his rude wording, like, he calls a diaper bag, a shit shell, he says piss and shit a lot. He would call me dirty but if I emphases how I clean up after myself straight away and don't leave the diapers hanging around, I ma still not sure how to tell him.
    I think teling him at this point in time, will only be benificial if you have already agreed to see a therapist as well, otherwise, most likely it will appear as you trying to reason your way out of seeing a therapist.

    you asked Should I tell him? What do you think could come out of this? What would the phychiartrist say?


    Should I tell him?

    Yes, but after you have discussed the therapist issue and you both feel comfortable with that conversation.

    what do you think would come out of this?

    I'm not sure, if we are going by past evidence, you embracing or regressing your surrondings seem to help you in the short term, but they do not seem to be a cure all for your other concerns regarding depression or anxiety.

    I honestly hope that you are able to find a better balance, and not give yourself over too much too regressing..the flip side of regressing, is that it does tend to make a person enter little space which can make other social situations a lot more scary.

    Confidence is somthing that would dramatically help you, as you yourself have said, as your father has advocated. how does one gain confidence? can they just fake it till they make it?
    some will tell you, that you can fake it till you make it. I dont believe its the best thing to do, as faking confidence can only ever leave an impression on others, not yourself.

    repetition is the source of confidence..

    you asked what a therapist would say, and I have no idea..im sorry


    -------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    I wanted to edit this and make it clear that i am not attempting to lay the origins of the current issue at your feet. I realize that balancing two opposing lifestyles is a hard thing to do.
    I wrote this with only compassion at its heart, and I'm sorry if anything I say disrupts your inner peace. It must be especially hard to start to try to discover your little side and find a healthy balance for you and those around you so soon after your mothers passing.
    Last edited by MommyandMattling; 24-Oct-2016 at 17:39.

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