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Thread: My dad wants me to get on with other teens

  1. #1

    Default My dad wants me to get on with other teens

    Basically my dad wants me to get along and make friends with non ABDL or little teens, but since I am child inside, I have literally nothing in common with vanilla teens, they are boring, mean and swear a lot. I have had bad friends who have noticed there was something unique to me and they teased me about it and they have really put me off non littles.


    But if I literally have no interests in what vanilla teens like, how can I make friends with my them? They are interested in me but I find them completly boring unless they like the sims, superheroes or like playing with toys.

    My dad is obviously worried about me as he is saying it's holding me back as I have no idea what brought that on! How is it! He is saying that people view me as pathetic cuz i can't get along with them or make friends, it's hard to make friends out of non friend material which will make me miserable

    How the heck do I make friends with vanillas, they are just the same to me!?

  2. #2

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    I think we tend to be loners, largely because we are different. I never had more than two friends in my youth.

  3. #3

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    My dad started going on about this "in the real world" crap, I am NOT Bing pathetic! I KNOW what I am doing! He thinks I am not going to go to work or something, what's this got to do with anything!? He's talking about friends! Does he think I am not trying to be an adult!?

    I am bawling like a baby here! Does he think I am a disgrace?! Is he embarrassed for me!?

  4. #4

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    Well he certainly was out of line for saying people view you as pathetic. Is your dad kind of an Extrovert? I think part of the problem here, is that people don't know how to understand less social people. It certainly is important for you to have a few friends to lean on, but you should certainly feel comfortable around them.

    I think though that you would do well in not placing a blanket rule towards vanilla people, for one, because most people are just pretending to be vanilla. Most people try to fit in with the crowd but certainly have something unusual about themselves. If you don't take the time to figure out people for themselves, you are going to miss out on the nice ones that you would get along with. They don't have to be an AB/DL either to be able to accept that side of yourself, some of them will reject it, some of them will accept it, and some of them will embrace it. If they are the type for the last two, then I think you found a winning friend.

    I don't think you should feel pressured to go out make a concerted effort to make new friends, but I do think it would be a good idea to make friends along your path, like at work, or at an event you go to. Rather than try and figure out if they are vanilla, try and figure out if they are a nice person who respects others. Ask them questions about their world views, see if they relate well with yours. See if there is anything you both enjoy.

    I do admit though, trying to make teen friends is a tough situation, because teens are still pretty immature, that might be why some of them picked on you. People usually grow out of that though, and then there are only a few who are oppressive and rude.

    Either way, just make sure you feel happy with what you have in life, and if you don't, see what changes you have to make to feel happy again, and shoot for that. Be patient with your dad, parents are just concerned because that comes natural to them. For as accepting as he has been towards your little side, I don't think he means for any of it to sound personal, he is probably just worried that you are going to be isolated, but it doesn't have to be that way, even if you let people in on who you are.

  5. #5

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    Well I'm can see your dads point actually, even if he goes about it wrong. This is a coping mechanism, and other more normal ways to deal can weaken from non use.

    Second like it or not humans are social creatures you have to learn to socialize with your generation if you want to survive. If you can't talk with and make friends with your age group you won't be able to find work. It's an important skill. It is learned too.

    This doesn't mean you have to be an 'extrovert' but you do need to feel comfortable around people. Its debilitating to be alone all the time and not healthy. Introverts and socialphobes are not the same group of people. If you don't have anything in common because all you do is little stuff, than thats also not healthy. Its not a complete life. Go out and see the world a little. Play games find hobbies.

    I grew up alone. I regarded myself as a loner. I wish I hadn't. Now I need to play catch up with everyone else. If your in school this is doubly important. It gets way way harder when you graduate.

  6. #6

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    That's what he said, I wouldn't, be able to find work, I am not sure what he means though, of course I will

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Angelic View Post
    That's what he said, I wouldn't, be able to find work, I am not sure what he means though, of course I will
    Well finding work isn't necessarily correlated to making friends, however if you know you have a hard time making friends, then you might want to practice. You essentially have to make friends with the person you are interviewing with. Sometimes it helps to find work through your friends too, but in the end, you mostly just get jobs by applying at lots of places and advertising all of your best qualities.

  8. #8

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    I definitely was a loner throughout my teenage years, and while I feel...vanilla friends is too vague a term, I will definitely admit that nearly all my good friends are some sort of weird or nerdy, most may be vanilla (or at least not ABDL), but they're not exactly what most people consider to be hip or cool people. My recommendation would be to find friends within groups where you already know in advance you have at least one common interest. If you try and just make friends with people you have nothing in common with, you're likely to fail. But I will admit that it's important to have a group of friends as isolation sucks, it's painful, and it's bad for you. So I wouldn't tell you to go make friends with people you have nothing in common with, I would try and find people similar to yourself to be friends with.

    As far as making friends to find work, what I think you're Dad was talking about was networking. You can totally find work without networking, you're not going to be unemployed because you're a loner and don't network. But certain jobs, most of which are either really creative artists, business people, entrepreneurs, etc. These jobs will make you network, where you basically have to befriend people in the industry and get to know them since jobs like that usually don't have openings posted on job sites. They just give out positions to people they know. But if you don't plan on going into any of those fields, then networking shouldn't be too big a deal (though it still helps to do so, even if it's a pain) and you should be able to find work even if you're a loner and regardless of the number of friends you have.

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