I don't feel like I fit in

In college, I am surrounded by tons of teenagers and I feel like the only child there. I am not physically a child but 18 years old. I feel like I am 2-3 years old though. I am physically the average height and my body has changed but my mind hasn't .


I feel like I am with the wrong age group and when my dad drove past the nursery, I Felt like he should of dropped me off there. I literally can't communicate with teens as they are boring and don't go on about their favourite toys or anything. I am always bored at college and I don't hang out with anybody as nobody would understand me. They think I am one of them and alternatively a 2-3 year old can't see that I am one of them just my body has gone strange and looks like a grown ups instead what it should be for me.


When I was 13-17, I dressed and acted like a teen just to fit in but along the sidelines I thought about toys and dressing like a child. I could not and can't look at my breasts without feeling it's like a Tumor of something, the hair that has grown on my underarms, legs and diaper area feels wrong and I am tired of having to shave it nearly every day. I recently looked at my picture that was taken when I was 15 and I could NOT recognise myself as the same girl, it was like another girl had taken over my mind with me in the sidelines and then gave back my body and not changed it back.

I miss the days when I could wear a vest and no bra or even no top on at all. My face looks similar to my childhood face but it looks slightly grown up and I can't quite put my finger on it.

How do you guys feel like in your body?

For me it is the opposite...

I used to feel young. Fit. Quick. Excited. I used to run to my job, and have all the friends I could ever want, and was KNOWN for my smile and love toward evreyone no matter who they are. This was later on abused, and I was taken for granted, and I lost a lot since then. (No drama here, not gonna discuss details)

I went from feeling YOUNG to feeling like I was growing up.....Like I couldnt stop it. I tried playing old games. Getting old movies. Listening to my favorite old music I used to listen to....but what can I say....

The 90s are gone.

I wake up with less and less energy, I even struggle in a diaper sometimes remembering when I used to roll around cutely, to think that was just 3 years ago.

So how do I feel in my body? Terrible. I want to feel young again... Its probably going to take a lot to get there. Im a little jelous of your youth.

BrandonBabypup said:

It's a wonderful thing more than you think.... Dont let it go. You will regret that day when you can't scoop it up in your arms again, or have it fall through your hands like sand on the beach. It may not be clear right now, but that feeling of unconditional love and wonder is something that not evreyone has, and that makes you special. You DO fit in. You fit into a world that is only unlocked by those who have been through the hardest of trials, the deepest of pains, and the most powerful understanding.

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It could be a mix of just being introverted, and also a mix of your little side. I know we all wish we could be treated like a baby, but it also isn't unusual for non-AB/DL individuals to not feel like they fit in and can't communicate with people their age, it is kind of typical for introverted people to deal with that.

I get the feeling, like I do have my teenager/adult side but I still find I can't make friends with girls my age unless they are little's too, I don't really have any problems with boys, but they rarely just want to be my friend, usually they want something more :sad: It makes me feel very isolated when the only friends I have either don't want me to go near other guys or my female little friends are busy.. Plus I know what you mean, everyone else is very dramatic and there's always adult drama that I don't want

Maxx said:

Well.... I too feel like my body is a few decades too old for what's going on in my head. Its not the same as your issue though. I don't even need to go back to 20. 40 or 50 would be OK.

Or at least if I could turn back the mileage on some of the badly worn and abused body parts....

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Oh HELL YES!!

Sixteen years ago I went back to college, took 9 classes in order to get my teaching certificate. Talk about not fitting in. I was 55 among teenagers. But thinking I should be 2 or 3 has never been who I am. When I was 18, I was excited to own my own boat, drive my car, get a beer and do all the things teenage boys enjoy doing. It's healthy to be able to live in your body with its corresponding age. If I could be 20 again, I would, just to get rid of all the aches and pains I now experience. The chance to be more productive and more serious about my music would be enticing. But that's not the great celestial plan.

To all things there is a time and purpose, and the happy person finds ways to embrace it and find all the hidden values, because they are there. They just have to be found. For my aches and pains, I'm glad I'm retired. I'm glad I worked three jobs at the same time so I don't have to worry about paying my bills now. I'm glad I can sit down at the piano and play Chopin and the other great composers. Life is for learning and gong forward, not standing still, because if you stand still and don't move, you rot from the inside out.

LittleBelle said:

I get the feeling, like I do have my teenager/adult side but I still find I can't make friends with girls my age unless they are little's too, I don't really have any problems with boys, but they rarely just want to be my friend, usually they want something more :sad: It makes me feel very isolated when the only friends I have either don't want me to go near other guys or my female little friends are busy.. Plus I know what you mean, everyone else is very dramatic and there's always adult drama that I don't want

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I agree, boring and too complicated for my liking! I can't see how they don't get bored talking about that and not playing with anything, I can't even run around outside without being laughed at!

you could be just malnourished and need multivitamins, b vitamins and magnesium and zinc supplementation with Vitamin D

Angelic said:

I agree, boring and too complicated for my liking! I can't see how they don't get bored talking about that and not playing with anything, I can't even run around outside without being laughed at!

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First of all hugs.
Your one like me that dont fit.
So many are a mix of things.
When I was little I would play with kid younger then me but only had one friend at a time mostly they were deferent in way's or did not fit in.
I'm just a big kid wrapped in an older body is all .
Sadly the wrapping is not working as good as it used to.
So cant run around like a kid any more.
I would not laugh at some one in little mode.
Just know in time you will find some one for you.
Just be care full to be friends first .
Life is a adventure in my book some time we have to play pretend like the others to get along. When we rather play being a fox or motor boat brrrrrrrrrrrr.

Thanks fox kits

I feel like this a lot of the time. I never had playmates as a toddler. Most other kid saw me as a freak because of my eye, so I was exiled from everyone else. Now I'm mostly use to it. Being alone feels easier than trying to be with others.

My little side usually comes out when I'm bored or just feel like there is something better to do. This is hard at work. I'm meant to be the boss, but I can't help feeling like I shouldn't be there. I should be somewhere having fun or with someone watching me. Lately I've tried using my energy to fuel my work so I could leave that much faster. It helps, but I'm usually still bored.

I do that, I work extra faster and harder just to get out of college quicker