Being a tactile little

I find that I am touchy feely and like a lot of hugs when I am in little space, my dad doesn't like it too much but sometimes he acts like I am a child. He told me he doesn't like it when I held out my hand inviting him to play high fives or trap my hand game to often and I got offended.

I think it's my little side that it hurts but he did say it's ok only sometimes but I keep wanting to play it. I thinks it's something about the fatherly thing and bond that I crave so I want attention a lot. I think it also stems from my mother not giving me a lot of attention growing up and not being very motherly and kind to me.

I feel rejected everytime he refuses to either by simply not playing or making a song and dance about it, when I got upset he gave me a hug and when I said I felt like I wasn't loved enough from my mother growing up, he got angry. He quickly calmed down after I shut up. I never had much tactile interaction in regards to affection so I can sort of understand why I crave it so much.

It might be because he sees you as an adult now, a young woman, I would feel strange acting like that around my brothers or dad (bio and adopted), it just wouldn't feel right..

Aww sweetheart. He got angry because he knows it's the truth and people don't like to hear the truth if it makes them feel bad... even so called "grown ups" can act this way. You've analysed why you feel the way you do very well it seems, so you're aware of the root causes, which is good. Unfortunately if your dad's not willing to change, not much will change, but you can get support from other sources. I'm sure he loves you a lot, even if he denies your requests for tactile love. I grew up with very little love too, especially tactile, and I also crave it a lot as an adult. If I was there I'd give you a big squish!