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Thread: How did you feel when you accepted your [insert abbreviation here] and started practicing it?

  1. #1

    Talking How did you feel when you accepted your [insert abbreviation here] and started practicing it?

    I'm curious to know how you felt when you started being an AB, Little, DL, BF or whatever you identify with and actually started practicing it?

    Did you feel an immense sense of peace?

    I don't know why but having just found this community I just feel so good... like -this is what I am- and I am so happy, I'm on cloud nine actually!

    I feel like my life will be different from here on out. I am so glad i have an accepting husband who after discussing it with him is happy for me to hang around the house in littlespace doing my own thing. He is not weirded out at all.

    How did it feel for you when you accepted who you were inside?

  2. #2


    I started before I knew what to call it and it was a rocky road to get to the point where I would say there was even grudging self-acceptance. My first inklings of an unusual attraction to diapers was at age 3-4 but I didn't really get to act on it on my own until I was around 10. From then and into my 20s, it was an ongoing battle of desire and self-loathing. Learning that this was a part of me that wasn't going away and that it wasn't intrinsically bad was the start of things getting better but it took years more and making contacts and friends in the community to see that it could be something positive in my life.

    I still don't think I'd classify it as bringing me peace in and of itself. I'd say it's more that it's fun and can be an expression of love and caring with others. I wish I hadn't wasted so much time fighting what wasn't just harmless but is an esssential part of myself. It frustrates me a bit when I can't get others to see how it can be a good thing for them as well but I know that while others can be of help in this area, we can only get there on our own.

  3. #3


    I'd imagine that for most people here and certainly myself, acceptance of my ABDL side wasn't just flipping on a switch going from "I hate being an ABDL! I want a cure!" to "Being an ABDL is awesome!" It was a slow evolutionary process where guilt and shame about being an ABDL slowly eroded away until years later, it's all gone. I began wearing about 6 years ago, and I joined ADISC shortly after, and the shame was pretty significantly weakened then. But it didn't completely die until a couple years ago. There was never a day where I just suddenly felt relieved, but I will admit that looking back in hindsight 10 years ago, I am happy that amongst all the crap I deal with now, the ABDL guilt and shame from 10 years ago isn't something one of those demons and it's now officially gone for good.

  4. #4


    I did experience shame and confusion about myself for a long while too to be honest. But I guess just recently is when I finally and wholly accepted me, hence feeling this way. Thank you for your stories

  5. #5


    Quote Originally Posted by Raindrops View Post
    Did you feel an immense sense of peace?
    In a word, yes; especially with my "little" side.

  6. #6


    I felt when I accepted myself that I started not obsessing with it and I started adding ABDL into my daily life where nessary and it's good and normal, I no longer have those demons telling me it's weird. I remember wanting to be a toddler/ baby all my life since I was 4. I remember wondering why I wasn't drinking out of a bottle and where my diapers went during school which I still needed. It was not fun wearing wet knickers. I used to lie awake at night imaging me being treated as a baby in place of my cusion who was a baby at the time, I would imagine eating baby food, drinking out of a bottle, playing with baby toys, having my diaper changed and being put to bed in a crib. At age 16, I made my makeshift pacifiers out of a piece of large cardboard or plastic and add a pen in on it with sticky tape, which was dangerous, i could of chocked! My brother found them in the end but didn't really know what they were so he threw them in the trash and I was scared he knew but was more disturbing at the time, I was playing hallocaust where I made badges for my teddies but with nazis instead of Jews and I made a nazi symbol badge and my brother found it, I hope he didn't know what it was! He never asked though. Don't ask I was bored because I didn't have toys to play something a lot nicer! That game sounds horrible to me now! I bought my first pacifier when I was 17, it was nice when I got it and it calmed me down a lot, I just remember wanting a pacifier, the fist time, I chickened out and my parents could tell something was up because I was really moody and I bought lots of chocolate and ate 3 bags at once, how I didn't put that weight on I will never know! The next day I went out early and got them and I was so happy!

  7. #7


    Well since I've pretty much always felt the same, I can't say there was an aha moment, but I will say that it has always made me feel happy.....well at least when I wasn't feeling like some kind of freak hahaha. I guess to answer the question, it took a long time to stop beating myself up over this, and this site definitely helped. It hasn't changed who I am, what I do or how I feel, but has improved the way I deal with perhaps you'd say that I'm now at peace with it.

  8. #8


    There wasn't really a point in my life where I resisted these desires and accepted them. I just remember wanting to wear diapers around the age of 10, when my life started to go downhill, and over time I wanted to do things I did when I was little. One of the things that I used to do was stuff a laundry basket with a pillow, lay in it and drink from a baby bottle. I wanted to get diapers, but I never followed through with it because the only way I could've done it was by buying them online with my parents' credit card. Since that would involve giving them money to pay for whatever I was buying, they'd want to know what I got, so it wasn't an option for me.

    After many years, when I started my first year of college and opened my own bank account, I was finally able to get diapers without anyone knowing. When I first tried one on I felt really excited, too excited actually. I tried to sleep with one on and I couldn't so I was tired the next day. But I got used to it over time and now I feel relaxed an peaceful whenever I wear a diaper, even more so if I have a pacifier in my mouth and/or doing other childish things like cuddling with my plushies or watching a kiddie show on TV.

  9. #9


    When starting out I didn't like my abdl / babyfur side of me. However that started to change when I met my ex wife who tried to get me to except that side of me. After she left I just continued learning and making progress from there. I just am at the point now where I am unique and that's ok everyone is different and I'm not hurting anyone. I understand that not everyone is going to be excepting of this side of me so I respect them by not openly being too babyish. If people find out that didnt know that side of me I do my best to answer any questions they have and have confidence while doing it.

  10. #10


    Well after a talk with my therapist I just ordered some stuff for the first time and I feel defeated and relieved at once. I'm trying to do this once a week to see if it can work, and if can keep progressing on the ptsd depression and anxiety. Honeslty I hope it will fade as I get better elsewhere.

    I never asked for this buts its what I have.

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