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Thread: Depressed and Suicidal

  1. #1

    Default Depressed and Suicidal

    I've never been diagnosed as depressed simply because I can't afford to see a therapist right now but if I ever get my life together its one of the first things I'm going to do.

    I've felt depressed since I was about 12 and overtime its only become gradually worse. These last few months though have really been bad for the most part. I constantly belittle myself, give myself reasons why no one would ever need me and why i should just off myself, I have no energy, I cry almost all the time, and yeah the list goes on and on.

    I feel like no one in my life really wants to help me. My friends will give me advice but when it comes down to talking it just seems like no one really wants to. Or they just start backing away when I try to or they no longer are interested in helping me.

    Even my boyfriend doesn't seem to want to talk to me about it. They all say "you need to talk to someone" but who the fuck can I talk to when no one will even talk to me??

    I feel alone, sad, hopeless, worthless, pathetic, and I feel like I'm this cancer that everyone wants to get rid of. I don't know what to do...I've been trying really hard to pick up better coping mechanisms like drawing and writing but right now I just want to cry and sleep. No energy for anything else.

    I feel like everyone else would be so much better if I just killed myself. Then they wouldn't have to deal with this parasite that I am. I need help, I'm begging you for it.

  2. #2


    Quote Originally Posted by StrawberryRaven View Post
    I feel like everyone else would be so much better if I just killed myself. Then they wouldn't have to deal with this parasite that I am. I need help, I'm begging you for it.
    Suicide is never the answer. Someone may have told you this before and you may feel like you have no way out but I can guarantee there are people that would be hurt if you weren't around even if you don't realize it.

    Quote Originally Posted by StrawberryRaven View Post
    Even my boyfriend doesn't seem to want to talk to me about it. They all say "you need to talk to someone" but who the fuck can I talk to when no one will even talk to me??
    I'll talk to you about anything you want to talk about. Pick a topic, reply in this thread or pm me anytime. Your friends are right in that you should seek professional help but support from friends is always helpful as well.

  3. #3


    Suicide is never the answer, Acan is completely right, i am also here to talk too. I suffer depression as well, but talking to others seems to help out alot, so feel free to private message me, and we can talk about things. Suicide is an idea a thought, but it is not the right choice. My therapist said something very similar to Acan someone you know would miss you dearly if you went to suicide as the last resort. So please private message me and we can talk about any subject you would like to talk about

  4. #4



    First off you are not alone. I have been there and dealt with this.

    There is a article by Starrunner that gives all of the hotline information that you can call and it is free.
    If you would like PM me and I can see what I could do to help.


  5. #5


    Suicide and depression are very difficult subjects to talk about. It takes a lot of courage to open up and share these feelings. Just the fact that you are posting here is a good sign and shows there is at least a part of you that wants to live. Hold on to that.

    Your profile shows that you're in North Carolina. I strongly encourage you to call the national suicide prevention line immediately:
    1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)

    More resources can be found in the Adisc article here: (North Carolina helplines)

    You've been dealing with this for so long and sometimes it just gets to be too much to bear. You're not alone in feeling that way. You reached out to us and we appreciate your trust. Now please, pick up the phone and call one of the Helpline numbers. Do it now. If you feel you are at serious risk of harming yourself then please, go the hospital and have yourself admitted.

    My thoughts are with you.
    Last edited by Starrunner; 16-Jul-2016 at 02:38.

  6. #6


    Actually, this problem has been experienced by a member named Premetheus in his thread titled "More venting, Why not?", depressed in his social life, but it doesn't matter if you want a solution

    Suicidal ideation does not appear suddenly granted. Generally, before deciding to commit suicide, evil desire was preceded by the emergence of depression.

    Depression can have a negative impact on your life. Depression is a feeling that is experienced by everyone at one time in their lives. This article describes how to overcome depression and change your life by getting rid of the negative effects that arise from depression.

    Negative feelings such as sadness, anxiety, and frustration are common feelings felt by many people. It is a natural thing if you feel disappointed after a failure, sadness, separation or loss.

    Again, these feelings are natural and, in some instances, these feelings can actually be used to our advantage because those feelings show our weaknesses. The experience that emerge from the negative conditions in our lives that gives us the courage and the will to change our lives and the strength to deal with depression and other negative situations in the future.

    When this kind of negative feelings constantly emerge, survive more than two weeks, and begin to interfere with daily activities, work, diet, sleep and our relationships; then most likely we are depressed and we must find ways to overcome them. The main characteristics of depression are negative feelings and deep sadness and happened in a long time.

    Tips to overcome depression:

    Learn to escape from the mind.
    Don't be mistaken, this mind plays a very important in conditioning the mind and soul. Positive or negative both of them could create an idea in our subconscious. So we have to be vigilant and prevent negative thoughts in order not to overwhelm. And positive thinking-that we have to let the lead. Why? Due to positive is that facilitate success and happiness. Positive thoughts make us see opportunities to achieve goals while negative ones can actually sabotage it. Learn to determine which ones should mind we allow and which ones should we reject.

    Let your feelings flow but don't get swept up in it.
    Well, sometimes when we hit a problem. we will feel very sad, and for some people may be crying able to make him a little better. So cry if it is necessary. But don't have to allow ourselves to be protracted in the dumps. Remember, the world will not stop spinning and was sorry with us forever. We need to wake up. Even if I have to force myself to smile and try to find happiness another. It was not easy, because when again there was a problem it was like again on the brink, while happiness is opposite, feels far away. Well, that's where the point of our reason. Mind games, create a condition that can foster new happiness. Maybe just looks like an illusion at first, but the illusion even then we can make as a source of encouragement to a real moment of happiness really come.

    Depression often occurs because our desires remain unfulfilled.
    Depression often occurs because our desires remain unfulfilled.
    So try to see yourself, examine seriously the things what we do and what we want to achieve. If not satisfied because it was not or could not do anything, so take one step to set goals. But go slowly, step by step.

    Release your past.
    Many of us make the mistake still remembered the pain in the past. If there are things in life that cause you grief, resentment, guilt or anger, let it go. Keep such feelings will not help alleviate the situation instead will only further increase the burden on the life.

    Don't keep by yourself.
    The depression will grow in loneliness. So look for someone who can you invite to share, don't need him to be able to help solve your problem, but the important thing is he there and willing to listen the problem you're facing.

    Even try to run away from problems.
    Suicide, you say, is not a solution. The problems that have not come to frustrate and drop us, they are there just to give us the experience that in the future we don't fall into the same hole. So don't be afraid, try to make friends with problems, study nature and conquer him! Instead of being run off because you could no longer feel the pain. Pain is only temporary if we can control it, so back to the previous points, how that we don't let the pain grew into a depression.

    "Sadness, depression, hurt, they are things that are interesting to be passed in order to create a picture of our survival. Learn how to treat these things very well. Pick a lesson from them, rather than be eaten by them".

    Thanks and don't suicide yourself just because your mind
    Last edited by MaxToddler; 16-Jul-2016 at 04:10.

  7. #7


    I come into ADISC and I see a topic that is very close to my heart.

    I'm sorry that you have a depression. I recently recovered from depression after 4 years. For 2 of those I didn't work and just huddled in my parents house and hated my friends for not knowing how to talk to me. I'm still angry at them but understand that they had no idea what to do. They wanted to help but were actually scared they'd say the wrong thing.

    I've been free of my depression for 1 year thanks to my doctor and psychologist.

    First, in terms of your friends and family. Like with my friends, your friends probably have no idea what to do. The thing that helped my friends, and most importantly my family, the most is by showing them this comic.

    My advice

    If you aren't able to work because of your depression go to the government, talk to your doctor, and try to apply for disability welfare. Depression is more crippling in terms of work than losing your legs and you deserve to be looked after. My friend, who is a veteran, can't work at the moment. He has two destroyed ankles yet the government says his main injury is his depression and I wholeheartedly agree. Your depression is a serious illness. More so than nearly any physical injury you'll ever have. If you can't apply for it yourself, ask someone to help you do it.

    It is very hard to get medical help but it is important. What's more important is finding the right help. I wouldn't be typing now if I hadn't got the right psychiatrist which I found on my second attempt and I found my psychologist on my 5th attempt. It is expensive but my psychiatrist was through the government. He treated me without medication but medication can be important to stabilise you so you can get through your therapy.

    I also went into hospital for a while. If you are going to act on your suicidal thoughts or don't feel safe call 911. Don't do what lots of people do and "suck it up." Tell them exactly how you feel when you go to a doctor. Cry, scream, anything so they understand what you're going through and that you need help.

    I work with people now who often have mental illnesses. The first thing we do with them is create a "self-care care." 5 things they can do that help bring them back from dark thoughts. Your drawing would be one, if it helps. Include things that you can do at home but also things you can do while away from home.
    This is mine that I made with my psychologist. I told her everything about my lifestyle so that's why we incorporated my little side.

    1) Get a glass of water
    2) Hug my dog
    3) Talk to my brother
    4) Go for a walk and take photos
    5) Wear nappies and play lego
    6) Have a bottle
    7) Listen to music (Loudly - Get up and headbang/dance. Sing a long)

    Try to make a routine for your day if you aren't able to work. Try to at least fill up your morning with things you can do easily before going on the computer... if you are a computer addict like I was. Also, try to stay awake through the day so you can sleep better at night
    Mine was
    7:30 - Get up, make my bed, eat breakfast, have a shower
    8:30 - Go for a walk with the dog
    9:30 - Write - poems, things for my psych, stories
    10:00 - make a snack and clean one thing. (I usually did the sink)
    10:30 - Read a book outside or do a puzzle
    11:30 - Lunch
    12:30 - Play computer

    Volunteer in something small with something you love. I was already a volunteer firefight but had to put that on the back burner because I wasn't able to due to my depression. Instead I volunteered 1 hour a week helping a kid with anger management and to build a bike. One popular one for people with depression is helping at the animal shelter. Cleaning dogs, walking them and such.

    Feel free to slap anyone who says "You just need to think positive."

    You will get through this. In the future when you develop the skills to live with, or even beat, depression like I did, you'll find you're a better person because of it. Through my volunteer firefighter training we came across something called "post traumatic growth." People who go through traumatic experiences find things that are better about themselves. For example, I am more caring, more open, better able to talk, don't drink and changed to a career that didn't make me hate life.

    You will win

  8. #8


    I want to tell everyone here, "Thank you! A thousand times thank you!", I'm feeling so much better than I have in a while and I appreciate all the support. My boyfriend stayed with me for hours last night talking about anything and everything and I feel better. I talked to some of my family about it as well, and I'm hopeful that I can beat this.

    Thank you <3

  9. #9


    Please get involved with a professional. Family and friends being supportive is wonderful. However, there are things you just won't say to them (not just you any of us) and using someone who is trained to help people talk through their issues, hopefully, gets around that perfectly normal limitation.

    For example, most of us would not talk about the issues that bring us to an ABDL site with family and friends, but can talk about them here (anonymously). We should definitely air them with a professional if they are causing disruptions in our ability to function in the world.

    The long list of people without issues is very short. We all are fallible and may need help at times. When you need help, the most intelligent and reasonable thing to do is to get it.

  10. #10


    I am extremely glad to see that you are okay and feeling better. There are always people here that you can talk to if you need to.

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