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Thread: More venting? Why not?

  1. #1

    Default More venting? Why not?

    It has come to my attention that I can come accross the wrong way to people. Things that are false are presumed true and this bothers me. I want to be seen the right way, but I know I cannot control people's perceptions. I recognise I have a twisted perception because of depression, though I'm fighting to change that. What do you guys do when you reached the point where, you just want to give up on talking and venting but it's all you have? I just feel like if I keep venting eventually people will assume it's just for attention when you know what? To some degree we all want someone's attention. Even undivided. I'm working on doing what I can to improve but I still mess up. I really would love some advice on how to come accross better, or maybe just word things differently.

    I feel as if I've disappointed people with how I am but I don't know how to change the things people want me to or that I should change. Not just on ADISC but in my day to day life and elsewhere online. Should I just say nothing but postitve things even when my brain is quite interestingly, focused on all of the negative? I am a self sabetour so it makes it difficult when I make progress. Success scares me to death because of expectations that I think I never will be able to keep up. I'm far from lazy, in fact an adult said I was the hardest working person my age he knows. I really appreciated the compliment but I didn't really believe it.

    I guess what I'm saying and asking is..... what am I doing wrong that makes SOME people immediately dismiss me as a person?
    Last edited by Premetheus; 05-Jul-2016 at 21:05. Reason: correcting spelling I missed as I was upset when I typed this

  2. #2


    Quote Originally Posted by Premetheus View Post
    I feel as if I've disappointed people with how I am but I don't know how to change the things people want me to or that I should change.
    Sometimes the hardest thing to do is have the confidence to be yourself. I've been there, and I'm sure many other people have as well.

    There's probably not really anything to do, right or wrong, that causes people to dismiss you. At least, I'm not aware of it if there is. To quote the famous movie, "Life is like a box of chocolates..." There's no guarantee what you're going to get when you meet somebody else. Some people will decide they don't like you for your personality. But that's okay, you don't need them. It's the people who like you for who you are that are worth it. They can be hard to find, but they're there.

  3. #3


    It doesn't matter one bit if you skew towards the depressive side, speak your mind and vent as much as you want.

    Every human being is skewed on way or the other either due to depression or ideology or religion, it varies with us all, I would rather listen and be there for someone who is depressed than some wing nut who is bent out of shape because of a religous or political reason.

    You are very much a real person who is having a hard time, and those who can not take the time to listen and offer any input they can in support of you, straight up suck as human beings.

    I do not know how to get people to take you seriously, but I definitely wanted to encourage you to keep talking and venting it is definitely self protective and sooner or later you will say something that triggers a breakthrough in your depressive sphere that gives you the ability to sort out what is troubling you. Talking works, silence is death , don't hold back , and if Adisc is were you feel safest to vent come and vent.

    Sent from my SM-T810 using Tapatalk

  4. #4


    The thing is you're not alone in having those feelings and fears. You're going to be misunderstood, that's just one of the things we can't fully control, others perception of us.

    I get the feeling from your posts you're trying to hard to please other people or make them understand you, in fact you remind me a little bit of myself.

    My suggestion would be to try and let go of other people expectations, be easy on yourself, you're not a failure even if you think others judge you that way. One of my realizations recently is of how little importance other people's opinion of you really matter. So what if you don't live to their expectations? How important is that really? Everyone is different and you know yourself better than anyone else. And we try to explain that but they're so focused on their own ideas and perceptions, close-minded, that they don't understand it, don't be frustrated or angry just let it go, forget others perception of you, move on and be happy.

    A lot of this becomes more clear the more confident you become and the more you realize that, who you are is perfectly fine, even if it is not what others wish you were.

    I'm just reminded of something I read that relates to this which is something like this "what others think of you is none of your business", which seems worded a bit harsh, but it illustrates that you can't control others opinion of you, and furthermore, it's their opinion and their opinion only, nothing more.

    I hope I'm making sense, I can sound a bit mysterious when talking about the human condition or anything similar or related to that.

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  5. #5


    Nicely said, Max Toddler. I was thinking about much of that. When we come across as negative, we tend to eventually turn others off. They avoid us because negativity makes them also feel negative or down. But the problem with clinical depression is that one feels profoundly negative. I've been there and when that happens to me, I try to keep myself busy by doing something that often involves some sort of physical activity.

    Saturdays can be tough for me because Saturday is different from Monday through Friday. I know that sounds odd but I think it's because of my Borderline Personality past. I like things the same which include my morning routine of watching The Today Show, drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. But Saturday is different and I have to keep myself busy with other things.

    Over the many years I've learned to listen more to others, and say less because sometimes I can be too honest which can include expressing my more darker side. I know that no one wants to hear negative thoughts, so I try not to express them. I enjoy what others have to say and I'll comment on that, but I also try to be sensitive to their feelings and what's good for their mental consumption.

    During one of the most troubling and darkest days in my life, I decided to write a novel and it focused me toward a task that I enjoyed, that took over part of my life, was important to me, and consumed six years of my life. It was a great catharsis as it was about a very small community in the middle of nowhere where I grew up as a kid. All the bullying, the sexual pressures directed toward me as a sensitive musical child, trying to find my way, I revisited and found some sort of resolution by writing my story through the medium of a fictitious story.

    Now I'm becoming a concert pianist as I learn the great works from the classical piano literature. So what am I saying? You have to find your own way, something that works for you. Be sensitive to others and what they can endure. Remember that everyone is dealing with something, not just you. They simply may not show it or talk about it. Find something that will make you happy even if it's a walk in the woods or swinging on a swing. Cultivate a very good friendship with someone, if that's possible. For me, I have my wife, but also a number of good friends. We need others, otherwise, life can become very lonely. Finally, we're here for you, so don't give up.

  6. #6


    An important point that Zendot brought up is to fairly judge yourself because others do not.

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  7. #7


    I read your reply to my post in another thread. I didn't call you an idiot, I did say you'd be an idiot to wait for things to present themselves to you.

    I'm an undiagnosed sufferer of depression as well. I know all to well about the, "I'm not good enough, and I don't think I'm good enough to try something new". I struggle through this as well. I'm sorry to come at you like an asshole, but to tell you the truth, we react differently than others. When I am pissed off. I tend to do things better. I tend to step out of my comfort zone. I'm actually a quiet person before someone gets to know me. I'm also more critical of others because I know they could do better. Usually I wouldn't say something like that to a person face to face.

    I know the situation you're in. It's seems like you're may be royally fucked and the hole is just to deep to crawl out of, so you accept your fate.

    You have no license, it's really achievable, it's practically too easy to fail.

    You have to take small steps to achieve things. It may seem like a tall order, but you have to take 20 steps to get to the next flight of stairs and start climbing again. There's no elevators in life for the most of us. It seems difficult but when you make those steps, and with each level you can feel achievement. There will be road blocks, but you have to figure out how to dust yourself off, bandage up, and limp on.

    I can tell you that I've had plenty of steep valleys to go through. Going down is the easy part, but I've had to slow down the momentum. Then I had to go through process of climbing back up. Depression is an extra 20lbs on your back.

    You have to get over your attitude to accomplish things, you'll feel better after the effort, when you conquer something, you will feel better. It won't happen overnight I can guarantee that, and I will promise that there will be set backs. Only you have the power to do something about it.

    Only you know your entire situation. You have to find your own route.

    It's better to try and fail at something than to do nothing and succeed.

  8. #8


    Thank you for all of your efforts but I must say I feel like a disappointment because I should take all of your advice and not waste your time or efforts. I just don't know how I'm going to take all of this in and try to fix myself. I'm in therapy... have been since I was 15. I try to get support from others but I just accidentally hurt them because I get frustrated that they aren't hearing me it seems. I hope I get better because right now it's exceptionally low right now..

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