Ugh

So I'm feeling awful today, I hate being incontinent, I hate not having control over my body, I feel so helpless sometimes

Sent from my VS986 using Tapatalk

I feel your pain.... I have wrestled with this my entire life. I go through periods that I think, or wish or believe that I can control my body, only to be humbled and humiliated by my bladder's will.

My entire life has been a life of trying to stay dry. trying to avoid diapers and plastic bed liners. Only to have to face the facts that I can not win this battle. As they say you have to pick and choose your battles. I can not control my bladder, but there are other things that I am very good at. I will have to settle for knowing that....

I still, however, struggle making peace with diapers.

You could always get condom catheters and wear a leg or stomach bag,removing the need for diapers as long as you have bowel control.

Sent from my SM-T810 using Tapatalk

Tetra said:

You could always get condom catheters and wear a leg or stomach bag,removing the need for diapers as long as you have bowel control.

Sent from my SM-T810 using Tapatalk

Click to expand...

I only have some bowel control

Sent from my VS986 using Tapatalk

I'm not really daytime incontinent, aside from occasional accidents (So I can't really relate), but it will get better, as with everything in life. I feel that if you can learn to embrace your incontincence it can turn you into a more confident person. As corny and cheesy and unrealistic as what I just said sounds, I honestly believe it's true. Hang it there. =)

I'm sorry. Obviously becoming incontinent, though never a good thing, is a bit easier to handle for those of us who have had some ABDL tendencies, as we at least do not see diapers as a horror. In my case, given the off and on nature of my lifelong bouts with enuresis and occasional accidents, I don't truly know which came first: the occasional incontinence or the ABDL interest. But I do know that now, when I have no choice, even though I would definitely rather not have to hide that bulge all the time (it is very limiting on my wardrobe), I don't mind as much as I am sure I otherwise would have. However, were I bowel incontinent as well, all bets are off: I think I'd be doing a lot of cursing. I get exactly where you're coming from, and it's exacerbated by the fact that you're only 20.

being wet all ways and 3 am laundry washing can really drag you down. just when you think you have a bit of a handle on it all... nope.

SquishyAlien said:

I'm not really daytime incontinent, aside from occasional accidents (So I can't really relate), but it will get better, as with everything in life. I feel that if you can learn to embrace your incontincence it can turn you into a more confident person. As corny and cheesy and unrealistic as what I just said sounds, I honestly believe it's true. Hang it there. =)

Click to expand...

I couldn't agree more I became DL as a way of coping and it was the way forward for me. I could have been incontinent and miserable now "I am truly happy in my nappy". I realise this isn't for everyone but it was the best way for me to deal with something that I have no control over and cannot be cured.

Lmgmz,

As I am double incontinent and wear 24/7, cloth at night. I do understand most of what you are going through. All of us who are incontinent have to deal not only with the physical aspects of incontinence, but also the emotional aspects. IMHO, as unpleasant as the physical aspects are, the emotional aspects can be far more limiting, if we allow that. Although it sounds trite, we must focus on the positive and avoid the negative aspects, insofar as is possible.

You have been given some good advice here. Think how fortunate you are to have that diaper. Peeing or pooping in your diaper is far better than peeing or pooping in your pants. You do not have to be AB/DL to "love" your diaper. Remember that it is better to bulge than to leak and better to small like baby powder or lotion than smell like pee or poop.

The first goal is acceptance. Without acceptance you cannot fully cope with your incontinence. Acceptance of your "new normal" is the basis for a healthier outlook. Don't misunderstand me - you do not have to like being incontinent to accept your incontinence and manage it effectively.

Regard your incontinence as a challenge and make it a personal game to handle it as well as you can. I have learned so very much since I first became incontinent. Most of that I learned from incontinence-related boards and online support groups. Although I am not AB/DL, I learned a lot right here from the old messages.

Some have compared bowel incontinence to being imprisoned and placed in solitary. That can apply to bladder incontinence too. Don't let that happen.

Get on with living your life. You can do almost anything you want to do while being incontinent and wearing a diaper (or catheter). You can bike, swim, hunt, play tennis, sail, or travel overseas. It just takes the determination and a little more planning.

Ask questions here. Feel free to vent - that is a healthy thing to do and we all need to vent from time to time.

Remember that you are not alone.

--John

John is absolutely right about dealing with incontinence. It's a condition you have, it's not a condition that has you. Every urologist I have seen has been adamant about trying to get me 'fixed' to where I don't need diapers because they consider them a prison sentence, once in a diaper you never go out and do anything, you just stay home. With a lot of people, that may be the case, but I never let that happen. Yes, I wear diapers because being chained to the toilet at home is miserable, but being in a diaper doesn't keep me from living life.

I skydive. I scuba dive. I ride bikes with my children. I work around the house and yard. I'm walking my oldest daughter down the aisle in a little over a week. Life doesn't end because you need diapers.

I admit, it gets frustrating sometimes having to deal with being in diapers, taking them everywhere when I travel, and the money I spend monthly on them. I'd love to be able to have a choice in the matter. After so many years dealing with diapers, the security one brings means I enjoy them a lot of the time, so I've become a bit of a DL. It would be nice to just be able to wear only when I want instead of needing them all the time. Feel free to vent about it, we know and understand. It gets old having to deal with it all.

We'll be here to listen to you vent. And we'll be here when you're feeling better about it as well.

analog and jd are on point.

yes i agree with analog and jd too

I had the exact same feelings a week ago, a bunch of stuff was piling up in my life and I guess the... choiceless nature of incontinence really got me down. Earlier in the thread it was mentioned that it's easier to deal with already being in the AB/DL space, but I would disagree - at least for me. I sometimes find myself second-guessing my need for diapers, until my bladder says otherwise and I feel a huge urge followed immediately by wetting. I think it might be easier to be IC first, then a DL, as the other way around you have conflicting feelings of what was/is something comforting or sexual now being something that you have no control over. I've considering trying to focus more on the DL aspect, to make it a positive thing than a mandatory requirement, but I'm not sold on that being the best idea.

I guess it's all just on the path to acceptance, right? I've only been dealing with this for the past 6mos so I'm still somewhat of a newbie, but as said, posts 8, 9, and 10 do help!