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Thread: Let someone know that I know their ABDL side?

  1. #1

    Default Let someone know that I know their ABDL side?

    I'm going to give the long version.

    So my girlfriend made friends with a guy (We will call him Paul) that went to the college across the street from the gas station that she worked at. She slowly introduced him to the rest of the group of friends. Paul grew to like my girlfriends friend (Ann). Paul considered Ann his best friend, even though Ann felt creeped out by him most of the time. Paul moved away back to West Virginia because his father died. He told Ann that he uses a pacifier or bottle, basically leading up to telling her that he's an AB. After he told her that he wears diapers she told everyone. She freaked out when she found that out about him. Whenever she gets a snapchat from him, she asks everyone if they think that its going to be him in a diaper. She screenshotted a picture of him wearing a diaper to show everyone as proof. I already know that she has told our group of friends. Which is about five people. And I don't know who else she has told. I feel bad for the guy. I never got close to the guy because I got the impression that he was into me when I am not gay.

    Should I tell him that the person that he trust the most is going around and telling everyone about his ABDL side or is it better not to tell him and ruin trust that he has in her/possibly everyone he's told?

  2. #2

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    Oh, geez. Okay, first off, be prepared that no matter what you do, this is going to go badly. Like, really badly. Feelings will be hurt and there is absolutely no way around it, at best you have some control over the timing of when it happens.

    A few things to consider. First, be aware that if you tell him, he might react emotionally, may not believe you, and may confront her about it. If you do tell him, you should try to do it in a context where you have a chance to be with him and help him through the reaction. I know you don't know him very well and you mentioned some sexual tension, but you can't be the bearer of that news and then just disappear. If you tell him, you should be very clear about your own boundaries but still help hi through the news as a friend, or at least an involved acquaintance.

    Second, be aware that if you tell Paul, Ann might find out that you did so and react very negatively and unfairly towards you. Honestly, I'd say that would put her in the wrong, but people are going to hear different accounts of things, so you should be prepared for that. You might consider talking to your own girlfriend about his first before you do anything else, so that she can help you with the whole group of friends and help make sure false info doesn't spread.

    Third, if you don't tell Paul and he ever finds out that you knew and kept him from him, he'll likely be very angry at you. He may never find that out, but it's still a risk. Others who find out you were in this sort of situation and didn't tell Paul might also think less of you. Not telling him, while justifiable, will look cowardly in hindsight.

    Fourth, I assure you that regardless of whether you tell him or not, he's going to find out eventually that Ann has betrayed his trust. I think it will probably be better for both of them if he finds out sooner than later so that they can break things off and salvage whatever can be salvaged. That's just my opinion though, I don't actually know any of them, so you'd know better than I would what might be best here.

    So, with all that said, I'm of the opinion that you should tell him, and do it in a context where he can't just run off and do something crazy and where you can keep talking to him after you explain the situation, so that you can help in those initial moments at least. That means not a text message, and email is highly suspect. You would want something where you're talking to him in real time, phone, in person, Skype, whatever. And be ready for a lot of problems when this all comes out. Anyway, that's my

  3. #3

    Default

    The biggest problem is that he no longer lives in this state and does not come to visit. He moved away after his father died. We were never close enough to hangout or contact each other. We barely talked when we were all hanging out.
    If I do tell Paul that Ann has been telling everyone his secret, assuming that he wants if to be a secret, I have have a feeling that it will affect my girlfriends friendship with Ann.

  4. #4

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    I have to think that if he's told this Ann person, that he must expect that she might be telling others. When you come out to one person, you're really coming out to everyone, even if that never happens. My feeling is that you really don't have any responsibility to tell him since you really don't know him that well. But like ArchieRoni said, you probably would be doing him a big favor by letting him know what's happen. My other feeling here is that he's being both stupid and creepy sending Ann diapered pictures of himself when he really doesn't have a meaningful relationship with her.

    The second part: does Ann know that you are a diaper lover? I'm taking that from your screen name. Would she be vindictive against you? I think that first and foremost, you need to protect yourself first from the wrath of Ann.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by CasualDL View Post
    If I do tell Paul that Ann has been telling everyone his secret, assuming that he wants if to be a secret, I have have a feeling that it will affect my girlfriends friendship with Ann.
    Have you talked to your girlfriend about all this? It seems like a decision that she ought to be a part of since she was both the one that introduced Paul to everyone and also the one that may be most affected by something happening here.

  6. #6

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    I have not told Ann that I am a diaper lover. Only my girlfriend and my best friend know. I've been extremely cautious to prevent anyone from knowing until recently, but I'm also not flaunting my private life.

    I can't come up with a way to approach my girlfriend on this subject. Usually I feel this way everytime Ann is around and brings up Paul wearing diapers until I forget about it.

  7. #7

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by CasualDL View Post
    I have not told Ann that I am a diaper lover. Only my girlfriend and my best friend know. I've been extremely cautious to prevent anyone from knowing until recently, but I'm also not flaunting my private life.

    I can't come up with a way to approach my girlfriend on this subject. Usually I feel this way everytime Ann is around and brings up Paul wearing diapers until I forget about it.
    Try "hey, [girlfriend's name], uh kinda an awkward subject. You've seen Ann sharing around all that stuff about Paul, right? It's making me feel pretty uncomfortable. Do you think maybe we should let him know about it?"

  8. #8

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    Definitively the best option is keeping our "dark things" as Top Secret. After the read that, I still think about the coming out is something very risky, if not stupid. The consequencies of that can be socially very destructive, it'd end in bullying etc.

  9. #9

    Default

    If you were able to text him you could make a throwaway Google voice number. That way you can text him without him knowing who it is.

    Sent from my Nexus 6P using Tapatalk

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