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Thread: Quitting porn, moving on, and finding my place in the world

  1. #1

    Default Quitting porn, moving on, and finding my place in the world

    Let's discuss the elephant in my post... I have decided to quit porn. As of last month on the 19th, I stopped watching any form of it. I deleted all the photos I had that were sexually explicit. As a Christian I should have quit it a long time ago, as a human being I can't honestly look in the mirror and say, "I'm okay with porn." I'm just not. I know I know... people use it, it isn't going away. However my part in looking at it is done. Animated, real, or otherwise. When my fiance and I broke up, porn died for me. The interest was completely gone and I unfollowed tons of porn blogs on tumblr. I think this will be a postive change as they say, it rots your brain.

    I'm moving on from my fiance though my heart hurts more than it has in many years. A hole is there and I know why. I desire female companionship. Someone I can pour my love and affection into, someone I can show love. I however am just giving my heart a break. 6 girlfriends later, the pain is catching up with me. Over the course of a few years I've dated. Without fail, the relationship deteriorates because my significant other feels they no longer love me. A 'falling out of love' so to speak. It's as if I improve them and make them better people, only to lose them in the process. I know there is someone for me, someone who is already whole and won't be afraid to tell me how they feel. I just hope they will be okay with ABDL.

    Finding my place... I feel at peace within the storm that I'm currently in, but I am finding a place to fit in. Will I go to college? Will I successfully complete my probation? Will people look down on me for my past? Hundreds of questions run through my mind as I think about the future. Will I ever fit in? Do my friends and family REALLY like me as they say? Am I paranoid? Am I improving? They just keep on flowing but I'll not bore you here. None of these questions are rhetorical, so feel free to respond, or don't. It's completely up to you.

  2. #2
    MarchinBunny

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    Quote Originally Posted by Premetheus View Post
    Let's discuss the elephant in my post... I have decided to quit porn.
    For some reason when I read the title of the topic, I thought you meant you worked in the porn industry and quit it. XD



    As of last month on the 19th, I stopped watching any form of it. I deleted all the photos I had that were sexually explicit. As a Christian I should have quit it a long time ago, as a human being I can't honestly look in the mirror and say, "I'm okay with porn." I'm just not.
    Whatever makes you feel better, I suppose. Although I don't know why some people seem to think porn is some how bad when it really isn't. I am guessing porn being bad must come from religion. Although I am sort of surprised that is still a thing going on to this day.



    I know I know... people use it, it isn't going away. However my part in looking at it is done. Animated, real, or otherwise. When my fiance and I broke up, porn died for me. The interest was completely gone and I unfollowed tons of porn blogs on tumblr. I think this will be a postive change as they say, it rots your brain.
    I don't think there is any study that exists that legitimately concludes porn rots ones brain.



    I'm moving on from my fiance though my heart hurts more than it has in many years. A hole is there and I know why. I desire female companionship. Someone I can pour my love and affection into, someone I can show love. I however am just giving my heart a break. 6 girlfriends later, the pain is catching up with me. Over the course of a few years I've dated. Without fail, the relationship deteriorates because my significant other feels they no longer love me. A 'falling out of love' so to speak. It's as if I improve them and make them better people, only to lose them in the process. I know there is someone for me, someone who is already whole and won't be afraid to tell me how they feel. I just hope they will be okay with ABDL.
    Ya, I had the same exact thing happen to me about 5 - 6 months ago. My fiance (BTW fiancee is for women, fiance is for men) broke up with me because he fell out of love with me. We where together for like 4 years. Personally, I don't know if I am ever even going to bother trying anymore to find love. I actually think I rather be alone anyway, I enjoy it. Although, it's not like I never crave companionship ... but I tend to be so introverted that it's never how I imagine it to be lol.



    Finding my place... I feel at peace within the storm that I'm currently in, but I am finding a place to fit in. Will I go to college? Will I successfully complete my probation? Will people look down on me for my past? Hundreds of questions run through my mind as I think about the future. Will I ever fit in? Do my friends and family REALLY like me as they say? Am I paranoid? Am I improving? They just keep on flowing but I'll not bore you here. None of these questions are rhetorical, so feel free to respond, or don't. It's completely up to you.
    Finding ones place is always a hard thing to do, at least that is the case for me as well. I am 29 years old now, and I am only now feeling like I may get into a permanent career and become independent rather than always having to rely on someone.

    Anyway, good luck to you and I hope you find what you are looking for :3.

  3. #3

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    Quote Originally Posted by brabbit1987 View Post
    For some reason when I read the title of the topic, I thought you meant you worked in the porn industry and quit it. XD



    Whatever makes you feel better, I suppose. Although I don't know why some people seem to think porn is some how bad when it really isn't. I am guessing porn being bad must come from religion. Although I am sort of surprised that is still a thing going on to this day.



    I don't think there is any study that exists that legitimately concludes porn rots ones brain.



    Ya, I had the same exact thing happen to me about 5 - 6 months ago. My fiance (BTW fiancee is for women, fiance is for men) broke up with me because he fell out of love with me. We where together for like 4 years. Personally, I don't know if I am ever even going to bother trying anymore to find love. I actually think I rather be alone anyway, I enjoy it. Although, it's not like I never crave companionship ... but I tend to be so introverted that it's never how I imagine it to be lol.



    Finding ones place is always a hard thing to do, at least that is the case for me as well. I am 29 years old now, and I am only now feeling like I may get into a permanent career and become independent rather than always having to rely on someone.

    Anyway, good luck to you and I hope you find what you are looking for :3.
    I'll respond to each thing you said in order so yeah :P

    No I was not in porn and quit lol

    Not neccesarily from religion, many secular people have reasons for it being bad. Ex-porn actors, human rights activists, etc. For me personally it's not just 'religion' but that I want to lead a more positive lifestyle and porn didn't help my depression. Not that I was trying for it to lol I have more reasons, but I don't want to drone on.

    There may not be any study that proves that, but I was saying it more as it's a saying, not something backed with empirical data.

    There's actually a difference? I had no idea, now I know I suppose. I'm pretty introverted myself so I know what you mean :P

    Independence is important to me but I had one helicopter parent and then the exact opposite, a minimalist. It was a very confusing envirornment but a good one nonetheless.

    Thank you I hope so too.

  4. #4

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    Quote Originally Posted by brabbit1987 View Post
    For some reason when I read the title of the topic, I thought you meant you worked in the porn industry and quit it. XD
    That would have made the thread a bunch more fun....

  5. #5

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    I admit that porn is problematic for us autistics to watch.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maxx View Post
    That would have made the thread a bunch more fun....
    I mean I can join porn... then quit so I can say I'm an ex porn actor even if I did nothing lol

    - - - Updated - - -



    Quote Originally Posted by caitianx View Post
    I admit that porn is problematic for us autistics to watch.
    I think the true 'bad' part of porn is the enviornment porn actors have to deal with. I've heard some pretty bad stories. There are 'good' aspects to it if someone wants to get super technical.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by Premetheus View Post
    The interest was completely gone and I unfollowed tons of porn blogs on tumblr. I think this will be a postive change as they say, it rots your brain.
    Your brain perhaps. But let's not construe this to be a universal. Personally I have to say porn has been an incredibly positive experience for me, if for nothing other than the reason that it's greatly enhanced my real life sexual encounters. It's an art form and an indulgence. Not all people enjoy indulging and some people over indulge. But many people use porn in a perfectly healthy way and there's nothing wrong with that. I hope you find happiness no matter what path you walk.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by AEsahaettr View Post
    Your brain perhaps. But let's not construe this to be a universal. Personally I have to say porn has been an incredibly positive experience for me, if for nothing other than the reason that it's greatly enhanced my real life sexual encounters. It's an art form and an indulgence. Not all people enjoy indulging and some people over indulge. But many people use porn in a perfectly healthy way and there's nothing wrong with that. I hope you find happiness no matter what path you walk.
    Oh no I know some have a positive experience. For me it's not the indulgence, there's not really a lot of guilt, it's just taking up too much of my time and it makes me feel more depressed. A sense of maybe not jealousness, but just feeling... incomplete in a way. I'm not sure if I even know what I'm trying to say. As for finding happiness, time will tell what will happen :P

  9. #9

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    I feel that pornography is not "love".
    All it is, is physiological mechanics.

  10. #10

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    Porn turns out being cyclical for me, quickly becoming repetitive and less rewarding. Occasionally I have a need to see whatever turns me on, usually the humping robot giving it to a washing machine, but after awhile, it's "Oh baby. Maytag so turns me on," and after that it's just so much wash in the dirty water. Okay, I watch too much Robot Chicken.

    But I'd rather do more creative things with my time, and a lot of porn watching is just that, a waste of time. At least it is for me, but then I'm sixty eight. ( the damn number key and hyphen won't work again).

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