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Thread: Hello from North Carolina :)

  1. #1

    Default Hello from North Carolina :)

    Hello everyone!

    I live in the Raleigh/Durham area of North Carolina and work in the IT industry in the area. Originally from TN I moved to NC with my family when I was six, so I've been here most of my life. I love the outdoors and as such went to Appstate University in the mountains of western NC where I snowboarded, hiked, camped, swam, and generally tried to be outside as much as I could.

    I also discovered my love of diapers my freshman year when I came across a diaper website and became intrigued! It took me several months to get the courage up but I ordered some diapers online and fell in love. I would bring them to the private showers we had in the dorms and wear in secret. As time went on I wanted to share this with someone but was frightened to death about being found out, so I bottled it up.

    I remember thinking, "what normal guy wears diapers? There must be something wrong with me" Ugh. There was no one I could talk to about it. Fast forward a few years and my girlfriend discovers some of my diaper pictures on my computer. She shares them with my fraternity and her sorority. Long story short, my parents eventually found out and they forced me into therapy.

    It was traumatizing. Literally. But I managed to keep showing my face in public, going to events and I refused to run and hide. Random people would say cruel things in public, my "brothers" made fun of me behind my back and I left my gf on the grounds that I was a "freak" and there must be something very wrong with me. The therapist, after eight months, said that diapers will always be a part of me, that there isn't anything wrong with it, and that as long as I don't let it control my life he didn't see anything wrong with it.

    That experience still has it's claws in me. I have issues opening up to girlfriends and the few that I have come out to about my ABDL side (mostly DL) have judged me and left or said they accept it, but eventually changed their mind and left. It's really depressing. This isn't the focus of my relationships, but it IS part of me and I want to be accepted for the whole picture, not just part of me. I started seeing a sex therapist after my girlfriend and I split this past January. It's been really positive and I'm finally becoming more confident in my diaper side.

    I have a few AB tendencies insofar as I like to snuggle and be "mothered" and have that safe, secure feeling. Only once before have I had that experience and I really liked the intimacy of it. To be diapered in that situation would be heaven to me

    Other than my ABDL side, I'm very active and outdoorsy. I've continued hiking, snowboarding, swimming, running, and participating in community 5/10k's and GoRuck events. I have a few rental properties that I like to maintain along with my own home and I enjoy gardening and landscaping too. I read every night on topics from sci-fi/fantasy, history, current events, disaster scenarios and survival, spiritual topics, and more.

    About four years ago I enlisted in the military partly due to my desire to serve and to keep the tradition my grandfather and father set. I love it and I'm so glad I joined. I'm your guy-next-door type but with a diaper side! Abena m4s are my favorite and sometimes I wear goodnites when I'm too lazy to tape a diaper on lol.

    I'm looking for friends, acceptance and understanding, and maybe a future partner if I'm so lucky!

  2. #2

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    Welcome! That's quite a story--very informative introduction. The most challenging part of this for most of us is self-acceptance. It sounds like you've crossed that hurdle. There are lots of others on this site who have traversed the telling the partner minefield. I never have and have been married a long time. There was no internet in my early years and only in the last 5 years have I come to know there are many others like me (us). That helped get me to the self-acceptance point and am now not ashamed of this part of me.

    I look forward to seeing you around on the site.

  3. #3

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    Welcome to ADISC!

    I think you have had bad luck with girlfriends so far because if they really loved you, they wouldn't have left you for being a DL or maybe, they weren't open minded enough. I guess there are many people who really think almost everyone is very boring and doesn't have any fethishes or unexplainable desires. Then if they meet one they are shocked and their brain just can't handle it I guess. One thing is sure, it was never your fault they left.

    We're still quite lucky to be DL as it doesn't hurt anyone and is not agains any law (right?). There are way worse desires/fetishes.

    Good luck here!

  4. #4

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    Great introduction I wish I had read this before I did mine! I find it encouraging that you have stuck with it through all of this! I have had a rough go at it as well. I hid this side of me for years (I started when I was 5) and thought I was alone as well. I wanted actual people to know me as I was completely. I eventually had this brought out after a mental break down and a car accident put me into a life that had me being faced with many people in therapy that want to fix me and shunned this side of me). I am currently still facing these people and am starting back my progression into the community and am starting to not care what they think and accepting myself as I am with this side of me. Thanks for being so courageous in fighting for a part of who you are and not letting others tell you who you need to be to be "okay."

    I am currently training for a mini triathlon and am competing in May. I grew up swimming competitively and am going to start my first year in college this summer.

  5. #5

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    Welcome to ADISC from a fellow NC resident. I moved to Knightdale just outside of Raleigh last year.

    That's quite a backstory. Hope to see you around the forum.

  6. #6

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    Thanks everyone for the warm welcome and also sharing a little bit about yourselves and your experiences. As Gardener said, the most challenging part, even harder than telling someone else, is accepting it yourself first. That's what I'm doing now! And it sounds as if a lot of others are doing the same thing. Good! I wore an Abena M4 tonight Swimkid, I'm sorry you've had people who wanted to "fix" you My therapist asked on my first visit, when I told her I was a DL, was "I hope you aren't here to be cured?" And right then I knew she was a good therapist. Takashi, hope to see you around the forums too Thanks all for the positive encouragement! Best wishes.

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by tehse7en View Post
    Thanks everyone for the warm welcome and also sharing a little bit about yourselves and your experiences. As Gardener said, the most challenging part, even harder than telling someone else, is accepting it yourself first. That's what I'm doing now! And it sounds as if a lot of others are doing the same thing. Good! I wore an Abena M4 tonight Swimkid, I'm sorry you've had people who wanted to "fix" you My therapist asked on my first visit, when I told her I was a DL, was "I hope you aren't here to be cured?" And right then I knew she was a good therapist. Takashi, hope to see you around the forums too Thanks all for the positive encouragement! Best wishes.
    I too have to congratulate you on your courage under terrible circumstances. Man, you had a really crappy girlfriend to show others your photos. I'm an older member and I too grew up without the benefit of the internet. When I was in college, my mom found my stuff and like yours, sent me to see a psychiatrist, though to be fair, I was having some serious problems in general.

    Now I'm married and living with someone who accepts who I am. Like the expression, life gets better, or at least, it can. You just need to find the right girl. I live in Virginia so I understand the southern mentality. It's a lot more conservative than some states and that can be a difficult barrier to overcome. I've also found some wonderful and accepting people as well. I suppose over time, we find like thinking people who become our friends. I wish you luck in finding that right person.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    I too have to congratulate you on your courage under terrible circumstances. Man, you had a really crappy girlfriend to show others your photos. I'm an older member and I too grew up without the benefit of the internet. When I was in college, my mom found my stuff and like yours, sent me to see a psychiatrist, though to be fair, I was having some serious problems in general.

    Now I'm married and living with someone who accepts who I am. Like the expression, life gets better, or at least, it can. You just need to find the right girl. I live in Virginia so I understand the southern mentality. It's a lot more conservative than some states and that can be a difficult barrier to overcome. I've also found some wonderful and accepting people as well. I suppose over time, we find like thinking people who become our friends. I wish you luck in finding that right person.
    Thanks dogboy. Yea over 400 people found out about my diaper kink, talk about devastating. Sometimes I wonder though, if somebody saw those pictures and thought to themselves, "interesting, maybe I will try this" hopefully it had a positive effect on someone! Yep, the south has a more narrow view on sexuality than the north I feel like, but even so, it's hard to find someone accepting of this life style.

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by tehse7en View Post
    Yep, the south has a more narrow view on sexuality than ll try this" hopefully it had a positive effect on someone! the north I feel like, but even so, it's hard to find someone accepting of this life style.
    That's for sure. If it helps any, when I first met the woman who would become my wife, I told her just about everything from my past, everything except liking diapers. That came much later when she discovered my diaper order on Amazon. This was a few years ago before they had an order history. Instead they'd send an e-mail, saying, "Did you enjoy your diaper!" So she said from our desktop computer, "Honey, did you order diapers?!!!!!" I think my heart fell into the very pit of hell. Anyway, I had to come clean and explain everything, which I did. In fact, it's what brought me to this site, as I was looking for advise on how to go about this. They said to just be honest and that's what I did.

    She was very accepting and in fact, asked me if I had enough supplies. So I think you meet people who are accepting by first just meeting people who have kind hearts. When you find that person who loves you unconditionally, then you realize, that's the one.

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