Disappointed with a friend

Hello there!
I have a really good friend, we know each other for a lot of time, and we have gained a lot of confidence, I can simply talk about anything with her.
But, you know, ABDL is another thing, it's like our deepest secret, we almost cannot tell it to anyone.
One day I was at her home and she had to go to the supermarket to buy a couple of things, so I went with her. One of the things that she had to buy was toothpaste, nothing special huh.
Then she turned around, and diapers were on the same aisle as toothpaste and those things (hygienic things). She stared at the Goodnites package (8-15) and she said "I find it shameful that a child of that age have to wear...", she didn't tell that to me directly, she just commented it. I didn't say nothing and we continued shopping.

Her reaction surprised me, as I said we can talk about anything and in my point of view she is pretty open-minded. I wondered a few times of telling her about my fetish in a near future (I thought it before this happened), but now I don't think I would do it. Maybe she find weird the GN package? I mean, it's very rare that a boy or a girl is happy wearing bed-wetting diapers (referring to the Goodnites package design).

What do you think about this?
Hope you can help me, we are really good friends (I'd say best friends) and I wouldn't like to break our relationship if something goes wrong with this, I would love to hear your opinion :3

Cheers!

Bring it up when you are together shopping again, maybe alone together in the car.

Say, "hey, remember when we were at the store recently, I remember you commenting about those pullups for older kids who wet the bed."

allow time for her response. (she will brobably say, ...yeah...)

Then, "Well, I didn't want to mention it, but it kinda struck a nerve because, well, 'cause, uh....I have worn them... when I was younger... or have issues."
.
She will probably laugh. (ha ha, (smile), ha ha) , .........But then will probably be sorry for you.....(awwww)
Shrug, smile, or just take it in stride. (How you react here is important)

You have to decide where you want to take it from there.

You could say any of the following:

hey, I'm not perfect, or

it happens occasionally, deal with it. or

Hey, I saw a commerical on TV about Underwearness and its no big deal
Pull ups underwear, that's funny... (or I'm gonna try that)

...
Good luck.

It could have just been a knee-jerk reaction on her part, but you know her better than we do. I'd err on the side of caution though saying it, but she could think differently about it when it's concerning you. I finally told a group of friends once out camping and I was heavily drinking and they were fairly receptive at least to the fetish (Oh I've heard of that etc...) but I didn't tell them I actually wear them. Go with your gut, but don't let the excitement of telling her get to you.

People can be finicky when it comes to their opinions.

For instance, I was washing my car this afternoon and a guy pulled up to my curb in his T-top Cutlass, heavily blowing out his blunt smoke. It had all the trimmings that made it obviously a G-Ride- Dayton wires, exhaust, lowered on hydraulics. (lots of $$ into this car!) He jumped out for a sec, did something (not sure what), then got back in and drove away. I was thinking to myself - You're a black guy, in a loud, stereotypical car, smoking marijuana while you're driving, and if/when you get popped for a DUI, you're gonna blame the cop and claim that he's a racist and you're being persecuted because you're black. Given the current state of race relations in America, it's a pretty dumb move to be black and intentionally and so flagrantly breaking the law. I thought all this as I'm listening to some Westcoast gangsta rap (MC Eiht is one of my favorites), and remembered that that exact situation is something he does regularly. (Guy's almost 50, still alive, and active in his neighborhood Crip gang, in addition to being an "OG"/niche rapper.) So while I don't consciously condone the activity, and would love to have questioned that individual as to his rationale - "Why do you think this is OK to do?" , I would wholly make an exception, if that individual were in fact, my favorite rapper. So, for your situation, your friend may actually think it's shameful that older children do not have nighttime bladder control, but, for YOU, because she is your friend, and it's YOU, she might make an exception and be OK with what you're into.

When she said "shameful" it implies that she thinks it's a failing somewhere. Which is fair because a lot of people think that when it comes to potty training and bedwetting. Many, many people assume that how well a kid does at using the bathroom is either a direct result of how the parents handled it or something having to do with the child's personality and decision-making. And, I mean, it might be shameful for an older kid to be wetting the bed if any of that were true. It's not though. In reality, almost all cases of bedwetting aren't something under the control of either parents or child, and it's not easily prevented short of growing out of it.

So, my guess is that if she were more educated about it, she might change her opinion. And, at any rate, she likely wouldn't see your choice to wear diapers in the same way as she sees it for older children that need them, though she might still think wetting yourself is icky, as most people have that opinion.

Is it not possible that she meant it as, "it's a shame" as in, its sad that a child that old is still having problems?

I think there are some questions that are important. First, do you have a need to wear diapers. If so I would follow LittleICme's advice, except tell her that you have a current need. If you only wear because you enjoy the feeling (I know I do), you should be asking yourself why do you want to tell her. If you are in an intimate relationship with her and you want her to share in your kink then go ahead and tell her. Be straight forward and honest about it and don't tell any half truths. Tell her it's something that you enjoy, and ask her what her thoughts are about it. And yes there is a risk to the relationship, but life is full of risks. Good luck to you.

I was wondering if she thought it was sad that the child had to suffer from the problems of being incontinent. Often for kids it means no sleeping over with friends, or going camping with friends or scouts, that sort of thing. The time to have asked her was then. I do understand your hesitation to tell her about yourself however, and I think you do need to find out more either by what she meant, or how liberal her opinions are in general before you would reveal something so personal.

Technologic said:

Is it not possible that she meant it as, "it's a shame" as in, its sad that a child that old is still having problems?

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dogboy said:

I was wondering if she thought it was sad that the child had to suffer from the problems of being incontinent.

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I'm thinking along this line of reasoning as well. She may be implying that it is a shame that a child would have a problem and need diapers. Sort of like it's a shame someone has cancer or the flu.

Maybe the next time you are out shopping with her and near the diaper aisle, see if you can get her to clarify her position. Then determine your next move.

First of all, thanks you all for your responses

ORBaby said:

First, do you have a need to wear diapers.

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Nope, I just wear when I want to.

ORBaby said:

you should be asking yourself why do you want to tell her.

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I wanted to tell her about my kink because she is special to me, and we can trust each other. Maybe she even likes it without knowing it if she is willing to try.
As of now we are only friends, but who knows, maybe in a future that changes (In a good way haha).
So, maybe I am rushing into this and I should wait until we are more than what we are now or something like that.

What would you do?
Regards!
I wanted to tell her about my kink because she is special to me, and we can trust each other.
As of now we are only friends, but who knows, maybe in a future that changes (In a good way haha).
So, maybe I am rushing into this and I should wait until we are more than friends or something like that.

What would you do?
Regards!

Personally I would wait until it was a more serious relationship. Enjoy having a friend that you can trust so well. You can tell her later, but once it's out there you can't un-tell her.

Merp said:

Has the thought crossed your mind that she might have a hunch about your diapers already, and that she was using that as an ice breaker? Or, what if it was a Freudian slip of an embarrassing childhood memory?

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Lol, I don't think she has that presentiment, but I cannot exclude that idea because maybe she has seen something about diapers or something when I lend her my mobile phone.
I lent her my mobile phone just before going shopping with her, but just to check her Instagram.
Cheers and thanks for everything!

In my honest opinion, I would refrain from telling her. She may be understanding and connect with you on many levels, but if she is not your significant other she doesn't need to know the details of a secret so intimate as that. This is the same concept of why you don't tell your family, because if they don't have fetishes themselves they will not understand where you're coming from or how it feels. It is your most personal secret and should only be shared with your SO.

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Merp said:

Has the thought crossed your mind that she might have a hunch about your diapers already, and that she was using that as an ice breaker? Or, what if it was a Freudian slip of an embarrassing childhood memory?

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Lol, clearly you are an optimist :biggrin:

I am assuming this is a question of you deciding to reveal your fetish to her...

It would be wise to ONLY expose your secret to her if such a topic came up and you felt super comfortable. Such a scenario could be: if the two of you were getting quite close in the formation of a relationship and the topics of "What secret fetish do you have?" or "If you had one secret you wanted me to know, what would it be?"

If the topic is hinged on sexual attraction and the two of you are at a point where it becomes the "main attraction" in the conversation then it is a good time to gauge your opportunity to tell her.

It is better to tell someone in the early stages of romance rather than try to pop-a-whopper on them after an elapsed amount of time and sharing. It could come across as sneaky at this point rather than playful. she could wonder what other "things" you have not disclosed.

I am not a fan of falsely trying to win someones affection only to pop-a-whopper on them later. It's about timing and only you can judge when that time is.

Lastly, her reaction to the diaper aisle may have simply been a way of mitigating an awkward moment surrounded by medical needs products. (in my experience: of all the aisles in a store, those ones are always vacant)

Good luck!

I think she may have just been feeling sympathy for all of the young kids that are trying to beat bedwetting and have to wear Goodnites, which may be embarrassing to them. I'm sure she wouldn't shame her own children if they were bedwetting, neither would she look at you wearing diapers for fun the same way either.

But, you should reconsider wanting to tell her about your secrets. What is there really to gain? Yes, plenty of times we've read about these situations working out fine, but plenty of times we've read about them not working out fine. If see cares about you and your friendship enough, I'm sure she'll accept you in some way - although it will take a good explanation. But after that, the AB/DL topic probably won't come up as often enough as you'd like it to. It may even be a "Huh. Imagine that." moment and she'll purposely never bring it up again. By you bringing your fetish up often in your regular friendly activities because you want to share, she may become uncomfortable. Basically, this girl isn't your girlfriend so bringing these things up may seem a bit unnecessary to go through a make or break situation.

Thanks for all your comments.
I think that I won't tell it to her unless she'd my girlfriend in the future.

I have asked her if there was anything wrong, as I thought she was acting rarely, but she said that nothing happened. It seems that were my own thoughts.
Cheers.

Merp said:

No, all angles should be observed before making a decision. It's very possible that she might have Ben a bed wetter and shamed for it causing her disdain for diapers. Never discount anything without thinking about it.

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Based on her comments, that's extremely unlikely. The nature of her comments suggests that an issue like that is completely foreign to her, not the contrary.