So oddly enough I never considered myself popular in high school, even though everyone knew me they didn't know me.(I know, cliché)... I think now that I graduated I can see that I was a pretty popular and well liked student, and continue to be a well liked and 'popular' person, but I think its more to do with charisma and just how a person feels in a social situation. I took like 5 years of theater, film, speech and debate classes which, thanks to a great teacher, literally removed any amount of shyness I had. After going through that hole public presentation stuff just made me more confident in social situations.
That said, to answer your question, I would hate for it to become public knowledge because people who don't understand or don't care to understand wont accept. But with that, I would rather suffer coming out than being outed honestly. Especially if its blackmail, If someone was blackmailing me for my kink or fetish I'd just admit the truth and rob that person of any power over me. A fetish isn't a crime.