I hope you can find your way to go back to hating alcohol. This is not a healthy way to live. Alcohol only provides a temporary relief in escaping the real problem, that you're feeling lonely, misunderstood and not accepted. The problem with alcohol is that you build a resistance to its effect and you need to more to escape. The result is feeling even more miserable with hangovers and a deepened sense of depression. I know because I lived through it.
Forget the alcohol and begin work on finding ways to accept yourself. Maybe you could find a trans support group in your community and get involved. The EU has a number of great non-profit groups that do advocacy and education about transgender issues. Perhaps this would be a good time time to get involved, not only in advancing the rights of trans people, but it's also a great way to get yourself busy and involved, and to meet new people with whom you will have things in common. Transgender Europe and ILGA Europe both do advocacy and education on trans rights and could probably use some volunteers. If you're really depressed, then talk to your doctor. They may be able to refer you to a local support group for transgenders.
Transgender Europe advocacy and education
http://tgeu.org/about/
ILGA Europe
http://www.ilga-europe.org/
Remember: you are not alone. A high percentage of the trans population suffers from depression at some point in their lives. You're still very young and have a lot of years ahead of you. My hope is that you will find some support and surround yourself with people who can help and care for you. Talk to a friend, parent, doctor or counsellor. Hugs, friend.
EU Helpline- 352 - 25 22 33 - 333
IPR Helpdesk-
https://www.iprhelpdesk.eu/Helpline