Talking to Parents (advice?)

[LittleJ123]

I have given it quite a lot of thought, and have decided that I should sit down and talk to my parents about me wearing diapers and being little. This would not be the first time I have talked to them about it, but I feel they deserve to know what I enjoy and what I'm into, and lately I have been feeling like I have to guard/hide my little side around them because I'm afraid they won't understand.

They are very loving and supportive parents. I have talked to them about some of it before, but I don't think they realize just how big a part of my life this is. I would greatly appreciate any advice, or encouragement.

 

[ArchtopK]

When would it stop? When would it be enough? What would they have to say or do to make it alright? If you already discussed it with them once, that should be enough. Keep pushing these things and you may regret the events you set into motion.

 

[dogboy]

I guess my question is, how did it go the first time? What was their response and what do you hope to accomplish? Do you want to feel more free to wear diapers around the house?

Since you've already had this conversation once, I don't think we need to give any advise as to how you might go about this. The hardest part is starting the conversation. Should you approach the subject again, the discourse will sort of take its own course, largely governed by their response. I think you should have as much information about Infantalism as possible. Wikipedia has a lot to say about it as does Understanding Infantalism.

I see Infantalism as a fetish driven desire so you might have to be prepared to answer questions regarding this as a factor. Lastly, weigh the pros and cons of having this discussion, what can be gained weighed against what you might lose.

 

[MDD1920]

I discussed it with my mom a couple of weeks ago & she was totally fine with it. What I recommend is you show them a site that explains ABDL & maybe they'll understand from there.

 

[ArchieRoni]

Hmm, I definitely see some signs of concern in how you phrased the first post, LittleJ123. Do you think you could give us some more background about the previous conversation? What did you tell them, exactly? What did they say and how did they respond? Do you have a guess as to what things they said or did caused you to come out of that conversation feeling like you still had to hide yourself and be on guard around them?

The fact that you've done this already but it didn't solve your problem has me worried, and so my advice until I know more is that you should be very careful about what you're doing and think very carefully about exactly what information you want to convey and most importantly the reason you want to do this at all. What I mean is that you need to have a goal so that if you have this conversation, you'll actually get what you're looking for. Do you want to get deliveries without having to hide them? Do you want to store your diapers in your closet or a regular chest of drawers without worrying about your parents seeing them? Do you want to wear diapers around the house and not worry if they happen to overhear a crinkle or see it poking out of your waistband? Imo, you need to think about you want hear and get really specific, down to the exact set of activities you plan to conduct. You should think about all these things so you can understand what's missing from the conversation with your parents so far. You don't necessarily need to actually tell them everything that you think of when doing this exercise, but it's important to help you have a better conversation than the last one and get yourself to a place where you feel comfortable.

Lastly, you set off a bit of a mental alarm for me when you said that your parents "deserve" to know. They do not. Parents get to know a lot about their kids growing up, but you're an adult and your sexual practices and even other fun activities aren't in that category. You don't have to share those things with your parents if you don't want to. If you want to tell them, do it because you've really thought about it carefully and concluded that it's the course of action that will make you feel the happiest. You're under no obligation to make yourself worse off just to keep your parents informed.

 

[LittleJ123]

First of all, thank you all for you advice. It seems that I was not descriptive enough in my first post, so I will clarify a couple things before this discussion continues. Perhaps it will give you all a better understanding of what I'm dealing with:

The previous conversation I alluded to was one I had with my parents a little over a year ago. I told them that I enjoyed wearing diapers, and had been doing so in moderation for two years, but was conflicted about it for moral reasons. What I was seeking at the time was advice from them on the subject. I was also battling feelings of shame and guilt, and it was sort of a way for me to confide in them. I happen to have a very strong bond with my parents, and they were very understanding. There reaction was very calm, but they seemed to advise me abstaining from wearing. I told them that would be very hard to do.

Since then I have realized that I am not just a DL, but a little as well. Since my conversation with my parents, I have purchased more diapers, sippy-cups, stuffed animals, kids t-shirts, onesies, and even sleepers. They have seen some of the stuffed animals, and kids t-shirts. Their reaction was pleasant, and they told me that the shirts were fun and playful. The rest of my things I have kept private, and I can only go into littlespace when I am home by myself.

I feel as though I let them down by not being able to abstain from wearing diapers like they advised, but further have become far more childlike than they realize. The second conversation would be mainly to share my AB feelings with them. What I meant by "they deserve to know" is that this sudden burst of "childlikeness" has been noticed by them, and perhaps an explanation will help them better understand. My attraction to diapers is not sexual, but rather more emotional than I once thought. They are very loving parents, and I know that they will not be angry with me.

I hope that we can arrive at a place where I don't have to worry so much about them accidentally finding my little stuff, because they would already know. I'd like to one day be able to go into littlespace in my room by myself even if they were doing something else at home. I don't want to rope them into my ABDL life without considering their feelings, but I'd like the peace of mind that they would not be shocked if they happened to see me in littlespace, or see a diaper, onesie, or stuffed animal in my room.

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Do you want to get deliveries without having to hide them? Do you want to store your diapers in your closet or a regular chest of drawers without worrying about your parents seeing them? Do you want to wear diapers around the house and not worry if they happen to overhear a crinkle or see it poking out of your waistband?

Yes, this is exactly the kind of understanding I'm looking for.

 

[egor]

Considering your blog, I do not know that it would hurt or help. But if it gives you self acceptance and understanding, then what would it hurt.

The flip side is what if they do not accept that?

Communication cant hurt.

 

[ArchieRoni]

I read through the blog egor mentioned as well as LittleJ123's followup post here, so a couple more thoughts. It seems like this has been an issue on and off for a long time. Diapers are something that is really meaningful to help you feel safe and happy. But they're also a thing that is an usual source of joy, and something that most parents feel that they must take away from their children so that they can lead normal lives (also, let's be honest, even among most ABDLs, we can all be quite happy that we're potty-trained, having the option to not be incontinent when needed is really, really great). I think it's not surprising, in light of all this history, that when you asked your parents about diapers from the perspective of feeling guilty and uncertain that they would advise you to abstain. After all, it's unusual and most parents want their kids to be "normal" and to avoid things that might bring confusion, embarrassment, or difficulty in life. I don't think you need to feel guilty for not meeting their expectations. Those expectations came from a desire for you to be happy at a time when you weren't all that certain yourself what would make you happy. Now, you know yourself a little better, so their expectations are based on old, outdated information and don't really apply anymore.

What you've told us here and in your blog is that diapers and other accessories of being little aren't something that you want to get rid of in your life. You've reached a point where they bring you joy, and what you want now is to have the acceptance that you've reached for yourself also be something that you can share with your parents, and therefore avoid the trouble that comes about from having to hide from them or lie to them. So, my advice is to tell them the perspective that you've shared with us here and part of the blog. I wouldn't recommend going into the history, but just explain to them that you really like wearing diapers and other childish clothing, having stuffed animals, and so on. That you understand it's unusual, but you really want to keep doing it because it makes you happy, and that you want them to know since they've already commented on some of the clothes you've bought and because you don't want to have to hide everything from them when you get deliveries or want to dress more childishly. It might go a lot better than before.

 

[LittleJ123]

Well said. I agree with you. Thank you so much for your help! :thumbsup:

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...Also, let's be honest, even among most ABDLs, we can all be quite happy that we're potty-trained, having the option to not be incontinent when needed is really, really great.

I couldn't agree more.

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With that in mind, I think I will give it a go and talk with them. Like I said before, they are very understanding, so I think things should go well. I will definitely keep the group posted on how it goes. I really appreciate all of the support here.

 

[dogboy]

I too agree and second what others have said, especially ArchieRoni. My only concern is in how your are coping with the rest of the world. Do you work, or attend classes, get out with friends and socialize? My point is, you aren't just staying in your room and regressing, because we do have members that do that, but also express how unhappy they are with their lives. Regression can be a good stress relief, and it can make us feel safe and comfortable, which is fine as long as its not a means to escape from all the things we should be involved in as we live our lives to some sort of fulfillment.

Red flags tend to go up for me when someone talks about purchasing a lot of "little" or baby things, but doesn't tell us much about doing other things. As we often say on this site, living a balanced life is important for a healthy emotional life. There's a time and place for all things, so I hope that's your case.

 

[LittleJ123]

Yes, of course. I am very involved in other activities. I write and produce my own music, I own a small business, I lead worship at church, and I just finished my AA degree in college. Simply put, I am not one of the members on here that just stays in my room and regresses. Regression is, however, a nice reprieve from my busy lifestyle that would be much easier to enjoy with my parent's understanding.

 

[Slomo]

Well it sounds like you've already got a pretty good understanding of what diapers mean to you. Clearly diapers are not based on sexuality, and therefore not a fetish for you.

I believe this is one very good point you should make when talking to your parents about it. This not something which should or even can be obstained from. It is not some dirty or guestionably immoral "habbit" which should be kept to ones self. For you, this is a part of who you are, and it cannot be denied. A part which your parents have the right to know of.

 

[dogboy]

Yes, of course. I am very involved in other activities. I write and produce my own music, I own a small business, I lead worship at church, and I just finished my AA degree in college. Simply put, I am not one of the members on here that just stays in my room and regresses. Regression is, however, a nice reprieve from my busy lifestyle that would be much easier to enjoy with my parent's understanding.

Awesome fellow church musician. I've been a church music director for most of my life. I got my first paying organist job when I was 12 years old. I love church music and I've seen a lot of changes in the last two decades. We have a good praise band at my church as our leader is actually a professor from Liberty U. I'm at a Methodist church. He sings and plays guitar and I'm at the digital piano, also singing into a mic. Music is both fun and rewarding.

There are so many beautiful praise songs out now. There so much more complicated than when they first were being written, and I enjoy their complexity.

It sounds like you stay very busy which is a good thing. I've often worked one full time job and two part time jobs. Now, it's just the church job and that's enough.

 

[LittleJ123]

That makes sense. I will try to remember my parents point of view during the conversation. Thanks for your help!

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Awesome fellow church musician. I've been a church music director for most of my life. I got my first paying organist job when I was 12 years old. I love church music and I've seen a lot of changes in the last two decades. We have a good praise band at my church as our leader is actually a professor from Liberty U. I'm at a Methodist church. He sings and plays guitar and I'm at the digital piano, also singing into a mic. Music is both fun and rewarding.

There are so many beautiful praise songs out now. There so much more complicated than when they first were being written, and I enjoy their complexity.

It sounds like you stay very busy which is a good thing. I've often worked one full time job and two part time jobs. Now, it's just the church job and that's enough.

That is so cool! I've visited Liberty U two times now, and I must say I have thoroughly enjoyed both visits. Their music department is absolutely incredible. You mentioned playing the digital piano: Sometimes I play a MIDI keyboard during a worship set. Typically I lead the song on vocals with my acoustic guitar in hand.

 

[dogboy]

That makes sense. I will try to remember my parents point of view during the conversation. Thanks for your help!

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That is so cool! I've visited Liberty U two times now, and I must say I have thoroughly enjoyed both visits. Their music department is absolutely incredible. You mentioned playing the digital piano: Sometimes I play a MIDI keyboard during a worship set. Typically I lead the song on vocals with my acoustic guitar in hand.

That's awesome. It sounds like you're quite good.

My home go to ax is a Korg Triton which I used when I played in a rock band. We were the premiere rock band for The Garlic Festival in Nelson County.

Last year I bought a Yamaha Avant Grand N 2 which I love. I've been learning a number of the Chopin Nocturnes including the D flat Major as well as some of the Chopin Preludes like #3 in G Major. I used to be a concert organist and I was played on WVTF, our NPR radio station which airs in both Virginia and West Virginia. I love the power of the pipe organ and I like playing J. S. Bach and the French composers, especially Cesar Franck.

 

[LittleJ123]

I just posted the update thread for this forum. It is titled: "Talking to My Parents (It Went Well!)".