gnd567
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- 887
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So, anybody else have a similar problem or have any idea why I'm having this one? Ever since I was a teenager I have absolutely hated receiving gifts. It's not that I don't care or am ungrateful. It's that for some reason it brings with it anxiety and guilt. Why? I don't know. I don't like being the center of attention to begin with and I always feel like I don't deserve it. Even though all my family and friends know this, they still insist on showering me with gifts on xmas and by birthday (which are only a week apart anyway.) My mom and my one of co-workers are the most persistent. I wish they would stop. I KNOW they mean well, honestly I do- but it just causes me great embarrassment and usually a ton of guilt because I almost NEVER end up using any of the gifts I get because:
1. Nobody knows how to shop for me at all (which again is fine because I don't want a gift.)
2. Whenever or IF ever I use said gift, there's a bad memory of receiving it attached to it.
and
3. I now feel obligated to wear or use the item and if I don't, I worry about that person feeling hurt, thinking I didn't appreciate their gift to me.
The reason I bring this up is because today my mom asked me why I haven't been wearing the shoes she bought me for Christmas. First off, I begged her not to spend any money on me because we don't have it anyway and I didn't want anything away. Secondly, they don't fit and it's too late to take them back. I brushed it off and said I would but this is just another example of people not respecting my wishes. I am such a shy person and I hate people spending money on me. If I want something, I'll buy it myself. I don't feel like it's mine otherwise. I feel so guilty.
1. Nobody knows how to shop for me at all (which again is fine because I don't want a gift.)
2. Whenever or IF ever I use said gift, there's a bad memory of receiving it attached to it.
and
3. I now feel obligated to wear or use the item and if I don't, I worry about that person feeling hurt, thinking I didn't appreciate their gift to me.
The reason I bring this up is because today my mom asked me why I haven't been wearing the shoes she bought me for Christmas. First off, I begged her not to spend any money on me because we don't have it anyway and I didn't want anything away. Secondly, they don't fit and it's too late to take them back. I brushed it off and said I would but this is just another example of people not respecting my wishes. I am such a shy person and I hate people spending money on me. If I want something, I'll buy it myself. I don't feel like it's mine otherwise. I feel so guilty.