The Diaper Lover's Dilemma

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TheWolfEmperor

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It's easy to forget that most people wouldn't wear diapers or protective absorbent products if they had a choice.

That said, I'm in my new place and striving to get the life half of my work/life balance going. That means finding and interacting with people, offline.

And finding any one with a mutual interest is hard enough. But when I see the "how to" slip of paper from a package of male guards lying on the restroom floor, or I learn of the existence of a person who openly admits to wearing a diaper from someone who recently attended an AA meeting, it's hard for me not to think, "Ooh, someone I can talk to!"

I know I'm not alone in this.
 
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I feel the exact same. I put some incontinence nappies on Gumtree (selling site) and had lots of interest. The person I sold them too I found out was AB/DL through texts conversations and that was a good feeling. I think it's more common than we think. I think AB/DL is a spectrum, you have people mildly interested in nappies and can function with families and stuff who's not that involved online and you have people like me on the more extreme end who wants to wear all the time and make themselves incontinent.
 
I feel like there's more of us than we believe but it's just the vast majority either repress or are extremely secretive of their wearing.
My entire life, before I knew I was ABDL, I have run in to and made friends with 2 people who also wore for fun by pure chance (online). The first of which was actually my first crush at 13. Neither of them knew I also had those desires because at both those points of my life I was still in denial. Wish I could somehow find them again.
 
Oh, we already know there are more abdls than we realise. The admins here, and on other sites have pointed out before that not even 10% of those who visit will ever post a comment.

Then we also know that for every one person who will go online there are 10 to 100 times more people who share the same interest but just don't go online with it.

We've tried to estimate how many abdls there are in the US alone. Before it's been guessed anywhere from several hundred thousand, to a million. So yeah, plenty of us out there. Just hard to find.
 
My problem seems from not always being able to read the situation.

Suppose some guy tells me, "I wear a diaper."

If I ask, "Can I see?"

There is one very pleasant way that conversation could go and a million very unpleasant ones.
 
Sometimes I envy people who are openly gay or transgender or some other form of "acceptable" sexual behavior. At least they are not alone. Can you imagine a parade of adult babys, diaper lovers ect. marching proudly down main street. At least the wouldn't have to worry about bathrooms.
 
brokenbiskit said:
Sometimes I envy people who are openly gay or transgender or some other form of "acceptable" sexual behavior. At least they are not alone. Can you imagine a parade of adult babys, diaper lovers ect. marching proudly down main street. At least the wouldn't have to worry about bathrooms.

This is where you need to stop and think about what you just said. Being openly gay or transgenders is NOT about being able to openly display our sexual behavior. Neither would being openly abdl be about marching down main street in just ab clothing or diapers.
 
Slomo said:
This is where you need to stop and think about what you just said. Being openly gay or transgenders is NOT about being able to openly display our sexual behavior. Neither would being openly abdl be about marching down main street in just ab clothing or diapers.

I agree. Showing off doesn't help a cause in most cases.
 
I didn't mean to offend any one. Who am i to judge. After all I enjoy wearing diapers & using them for their intended purpose. the point I was trying to make is that the gay transgender bisesexual community has made attempts to be publicly acknowlged and accepted. I don't think abdls will ever be publicly accepted.
 
I’m sure that there are more incontinent than ad/dl people in the population. However, a large proportion of incontinent people are old folks in nursing homes or other kinds of people with special needs who are not posting on the internet. When this factor is taken into account, the number of incontinent people who are leading normal adult lives my be less than the number of ab/dl’s. However, I certainly don’t have any data on the subject.
 
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I just wore in public for the first time in like 3 years. I wet. Heaven. Tykables overnight. Held every drop. Then I went to CVS and did a proper changing with baby wipes and Zinc diapers ointment. It was very erotic. I did not satisfy it in the bathroom. Need Vibes for that .

Sent from my U673C using Tapatalk
 
brokenbiskit said:
I didn't mean to offend any one. Who am i to judge. After all I enjoy wearing diapers & using them for their intended purpose. the point I was trying to make is that the gay transgender bisesexual community has made attempts to be publicly acknowlged and accepted. I don't think abdls will ever be publicly accepted.

Sure, that I'm all for as well. And being bi have been a part of those parades too. I assure you though, in none of those parades did we whip out our penises and start having sex. I'd be disgusted if someone did something like that with a diaper too. Gay and gay sexuality is not the same though. Neither is diaper love and sexual diapers.
 
I seem to have ignited a firestorm. That was never my intent. In the past I have felt guilt & almost self loathing over my desire to wear diapers. The worst part was that I felt I was the only one in the world who enjoyed wearing diapers. I felt the only way I could live a "normal" life was to rid myself of this desire. It seemed almost like an addiction. I would rid myself of all my diapers (I wear cloth diapers) and swear off with a solem oath. I might go quite awhile almost forgetting about diapers. However something would always bring me back to it. By chance I ran across a magazine called baby letters( there was no internet in those days) It was filled with letters from people that felt the same way I did. It was tremendously liberating. I realized I wasn't some kind of a terrible person. That what I was doing wasnt that bad. I wasn't hurting anyone. That is the point I was trying to make. Knowing I was not alone was the first step in accepting myself for who I am. If you think I was being insensitive I apoligize. Up till now I have never admitted to any that I wear diapers,not because I have to but that I want to.
 
brokenbiskit said:
I seem to have ignited a firestorm. That was never my intent. In the past I have felt guilt & almost self loathing over my desire to wear diapers. The worst part was that I felt I was the only one in the world who enjoyed wearing diapers. I felt the only way I could live a "normal" life was to rid myself of this desire. It seemed almost like an addiction. I would rid myself of all my diapers (I wear cloth diapers) and swear off with a solem oath. I might go quite awhile almost forgetting about diapers. However something would always bring me back to it. By chance I ran across a magazine called baby letters( there was no internet in those days) It was filled with letters from people that felt the same way I did. It was tremendously liberating. I realized I wasn't some kind of a terrible person. That what I was doing wasnt that bad. I wasn't hurting anyone. That is the point I was trying to make. Knowing I was not alone was the first step in accepting myself for who I am. If you think I was being insensitive I apoligize. Up till now I have never admitted to any that I wear diapers,not because I have to but that I want to.

Don't stress over it. Things are read differently by different people. I took your meaning.

I recognize a lot of what you're describing there, except that when I discovered I wasn't alone, it was seeing people who were extreme and not what I wanted to be (ABDLs in diapers on TV making a spectacle of themselves for attention). Rather than putting me at ease, it made me wonder if that was what was inevitably in store for me. A lot of time has passed and while I'm now happy with myself as an ABDL, I still don't have any urge to be on TV, so I guess that's okay. The world could be a lot better for us but it's already so much better than I ever expected when I first confronted this part of myself that I can scarcely believe my luck.
 
I can totally relate to Nate's post.
 
Trevor said:
except that when I discovered I wasn't alone, it was seeing people who were extreme and not what I wanted to be (ABDLs in diapers on TV making a spectacle of themselves for attention). Rather than putting me at ease, it made me wonder if that was what was inevitably in store for me.
This happened to me with both diapers and furry. In both instances it set back my self acceptance by years. I'm an otherwise normal (as much as that means anything in my line of work) young professional that generally has my life together, and seeing the total dumpster fire that is the furry fandom and most abdl boards really made me question if I actually was one of them. It took me an embarrassingly long time to internalize that having a fetish in common with someone is about the same as having the same hair color or the same birthday, and therefore doesn't mean I'll have the same anything else.
 
irnub said:
This happened to me with both diapers and furry. In both instances it set back my self acceptance by years. I'm an otherwise normal (as much as that means anything in my line of work) young professional that generally has my life together, and seeing the total dumpster fire that is the furry fandom and most abdl boards really made me question if I actually was one of them. It took me an embarrassingly long time to internalize that having a fetish in common with someone is about the same as having the same hair color or the same birthday, and therefore doesn't mean I'll have the same anything else.

*nods enthusiastically*

Yeah, not sure I can add much more... in the same exact boat. I mean I had self loathing and revulsion for loads of otehr reasons beyond looking at the communities, but they did not help! >.<;;

One thought though... while you won't see a ABDL float as part of your July 4th parade (anymore than you will see anything else that is either potty or explicitly sexual), there are specific contexts and places where it can be increasingly accepted.

Having ABDL accepted in the kink community (and what that asks of our community) I think is a realistic goal...
 
Trevor said:
except that when I discovered I wasn't alone, it was seeing people who were extreme and not what I wanted to be (ABDLs in diapers on TV making a spectacle of themselves for attention). Rather than putting me at ease, it made me wonder if that was what was inevitably in store for me.

It was a bit like that for me as well. Just like brokenbiskit wrote, I thought for a long time that I was the only pervert with this urge to wear diapers in a world of normal people (and I know lots of others felt/feel the same). When I discovered an online forum for DLs (in Germany), I was relieved on one hand to realise I wasn't alone. But many members of that forum seemed too "extreme" to me, basically making diapers the centre of their world. And that scared me quite a bit - I certainly did not see myself deliberately walking that road.

It was only gradually, by finding more diverse opinions/experiences and maybe even role models (as far as that's possible with ppl I only know from the online world), that I was able to positively identify as a DL who can get strong sexual pleasure from diapers. And that helped me a lot to overcome the binge + guilt cycle.

Plus - here I feel like the luckiest person on the world: I am blessed to have a partner who knows and is very accepting. (It was many years into our relationship that I came out to him.). It now feels almost normal to go to bed next to him with a thick diaper when the "urge" hits me. I say almost since I'm still slightly embarrassed. But even though he has no interest in diapers himself and is rather grossed out by the pee aspect, he nevertheless cuddles me, pats my bum, etc, and most importantly, just behaves and treats me normally. And that is the biggest gift for my self-acceptance. This unconditional acceptance by another person.

I know, many dream of being in a relationship where their "kink" / "fetish" / whatever is accepted. But I think also a good friendship with a person who's either in a similar situation or accepting can be very beneficial for one's self-esteem. So far I never had the courage to attend any kind of AB/DL meetup, and since I'm quite happy with my situation, neither the drive. But I would probably be much more keen to meet other DLs if I weren't in a relationship where I can be open. I mean not primarily for any kind of sexual encounter, but for getting the chance to talk about a "weird" subject with other for whom this is normal.

To return to brokenbiskit analogy: this kind of finding support in a group of others who are in a similar situation greatly helped me when I came out as gay, too. And it was indeed a lot easier (for me) to accept being a flaming homosuexual :) than my diaper fetish. As for outside acceptance, the difference is even more stark. Literally everybody knows I'm gay, but I would be mortified if anybody other than my partner would know - with the exception of other DLs.
 
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