First time caretaker

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KittyKatM

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  1. Carer
I don't know if I'm posting this in the right forum, but I figure it'll be moved to the right place if I got it wrong.

So, a few weeks ago, a close friend told me he was a DL and I told him I've had interest in being a caretaker. Long story short, he started to think about exploring his AB side and we decided that we're going to try this together. The only thing is, since I've never done this before in real life, I'm a little stuck on what we should do together (or rather, what I should provide to keep him busy). So far all we could come up with together was watching a movie and coloring. I also found some old wooden blocks that I was thinking of bringing. But I feel like there must be other things that I'm just not thinking of, not only for this time, but for in the future if this becomes a regular thing. Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions? And just so you know, we're limited to staying in his house and we only have until his dad gets back from work. Thanks in advance!
 
This is awesome. A caretaker. My fantasy caretaker is a large man
(I am straight female). I desperately want to be wiped and changed into a fresh clean diaper by a football player. The height of masculinity making me feel safe and diapered. Bring the blocks, FOR Sure!
I would also make a snack like boxed Mac and Cheese, the quintessential American child's snack food. Maybe feed him with a spoon or let him eat with his hands. THen wipe his face cean and put him down for a nap. Let him drink tons of apple juice from a bottle or sippie cup. Once he wakes up, change him gently carefully cleaning the area. powder him and on with a fresh diaper. I LOVE THIS!!!! Please post results, play by play...
 
I would say you're fine to take it slowly. For most of us, the diaper change winds up being pretty central to the caregiving experience but it may take you both a little time to feel comfortable with it. Cuddles and bottle feeding may be easier early on. If you can get ahold of some Lego, those are good for open-ended play, and you can legitimately play along on his level as a grown-up caretaker.

You two should be able to figure out what is most appealing to the two of you. At the moment, you're probably nervous of saying or doing the wrong thing. Really, most anything a babysitter or parent might do for a baby, is potential grist for the mill (feeding, bath times, naps, dressing, play, outings, teaching, discipline, etc.), but it's all about what you two find rewarding.

You may find that before too long you're enjoying this for yourself and not just because your friend enjoys it. You might even want to give it a try yourself. The big brother model of caretaking seems pretty popular, i. e., a more mature "kid" who is mostly in charge but can still legitimately behave as a child at times. Whatever works.
 
As Trevor said, the diaper change is really the biggest activity. Bottle feeding is probably second, as it kinda helps make diaper changes necessary faster, drinking from a bottle is also really relaxing. You will want to try and think of things that are enjoyable triggers for him, maybe find out if he had any favorite shows growing up, and then watch those ones, or try and find a stuffed animal that comes from that show/movie, to give to him. Also, if he does have a little side, he will probably find some fascination with sucking on a pacifier, so you can also try buying the biggest one they have at the store, and then pop it in his mouth. I found unexpectedly, that things with rattles are a trigger for me, that make me feel even more little. You can try getting a teether toy with a rattle in it, and then shake it around at him and see if it grabs his interest, or tickle him with it. Aside from that, I think that coloring is a good idea, and you will have to get inventive for anything else, babies don't really do a lot, they are too busy developing motor and spacial skills.

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Oh, try diapering him more thickly than he is used too, that might help too, it makes it harder to use the legs, and you feel like your diaper is more obvious as it would be on a baby, as apposed to the discrete design of adult diapers. You can try things like cutting holes in the the first diaper you are going to put on him, and then putting a second diaper on top of it so they both can absorb, which means longer time between diaper changes, but more waddling as the diaper gets wet, if it is one that expands much.
 
I would agree, the diaper change is like the cornerstone of regression for me. The change ritual is such a natural scene starter. There's just something about laying there completely exposed, vulnerable, and helpless looking up into your mommy's or daddy's eyes as the feeling of unconditional love overwhelms your heart.

I enjoy little space because, yes, it can be a sexual experience, BUT more so than anything else I enjoy littlespace because when I'm in little space I can let go and be myself. I regress for the sole purpose of feeling loved, and cared for because it's something I desperately crave in my own real life. When you form that connection with a mommy or daddy it's a bond that's unlike anything else. When both sides (the big and little) are comfortable enough with each other to give up 100% of themselves in the ABDL exchange - that's a truly powerful thing.

It's one thing to find a girl or a boy and fall in love with them. It's another if they actually allow or accept your ABDL desires. But if you ever come across someone in your own real life who can "appreciate" you as a little than I truly believe you've been shot by cupid's arrow and you have the chance to share a love and bond so powerful it's unlike anything that's been written before in fairytales.

I have a very optimistic outlook on relationships and love - yes I like to consider myself a hopeless romantic. The thing that bothers me about relationships is people tend to just throw it all away and never look back. To me, that's very very depressing, especially when you've spent the good part of several months maybe even years building up some sort of foundation - a solid foundation for the relationship you're growing to build on.

Imagine if they got halfway through the Eiffel tower and decided to quit...that would make for a very depressing monument. While I can be quick to "run away" from my problems, I'm the last person to ever flush love down the drain. Ive delt with so much heartache and loss in my life I hate watching something like ABDL tear a relationship apart - like it's done so many times over and over again in my life. Hell, my own father repeatably reminded me growing up I would NEVER be able to find someone who accepted me for WHO I WAS. I think that's why I've always been the dude that gets broken up with. I have the heart that keeps getting bought at the store then returned and sold open box to another girl who takes it right back.

I've come to learn that there is nothing more valuable, precious, or important in life than LOVE. I am happy for you that you've found someone you can share this unique aspect of your life with together. Ive been coming to this site for 5+ years and I've seen SO SO SO many similar posts about mommies finding their littles or vice versea. I can only keep hoping and praying that someday there's a mommy out there that is posting in a forum like this looking for a little like me.
 
I was thinking about mac and cheese, but I think I want to ask him first what kinds of things he might like to eat. Plus we need to keep things simple. We can't leave any evidence behind for when his dad gets home. But I definitely like the idea of spoon feeding and cleaning.

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Trevor said:
I would say you're fine to take it slowly. For most of us, the diaper change winds up being pretty central to the caregiving experience but it may take you both a little time to feel comfortable with it. Cuddles and bottle feeding may be easier early on. If you can get ahold of some Lego, those are good for open-ended play, and you can legitimately play along on his level as a grown-up caretaker.

You two should be able to figure out what is most appealing to the two of you. At the moment, you're probably nervous of saying or doing the wrong thing. Really, most anything a babysitter or parent might do for a baby, is potential grist for the mill (feeding, bath times, naps, dressing, play, outings, teaching, discipline, etc.), but it's all about what you two find rewarding.

You may find that before too long you're enjoying this for yourself and not just because your friend enjoys it. You might even want to give it a try yourself. The big brother model of caretaking seems pretty popular, i. e., a more mature "kid" who is mostly in charge but can still legitimately behave as a child at times. Whatever works.

I was thinking about legos but I can't seem to find any around my house and he doesn't have any I don't think. That would be something to invest in in the future, but right now we don't have that much disposable income between us to get things like that. Bath time sound pretty good too I'll have to ask him how he feels about that. I have wondered too, what it might be like on the baby side of things. The older sibling role might actually be appealing, but I have to do a little more soul searching on that.

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I'll definitely ask him about childhood shows and everything. He said he's tried out a bottle and pacifier on his own and that both were soothing. I'll have to ask him if he thinks any other really infantile toys would help him regress. As for diapers, he has both medical ones and recently bought some specific for ABs with a cute little design on them so I'm assuming they're decently thick. But I guess we'll have to see.

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noahVmiller said:
I would agree, the diaper change is like the cornerstone of regression for me. The change ritual is such a natural scene starter. There's just something about laying there completely exposed, vulnerable, and helpless looking up into your mommy's or daddy's eyes as the feeling of unconditional love overwhelms your heart.

I enjoy little space because, yes, it can be a sexual experience, BUT more so than anything else I enjoy littlespace because when I'm in little space I can let go and be myself. I regress for the sole purpose of feeling loved, and cared for because it's something I desperately crave in my own real life. When you form that connection with a mommy or daddy it's a bond that's unlike anything else. When both sides (the big and little) are comfortable enough with each other to give up 100% of themselves in the ABDL exchange - that's a truly powerful thing.

It's one thing to find a girl or a boy and fall in love with them. It's another if they actually allow or accept your ABDL desires. But if you ever come across someone in your own real life who can "appreciate" you as a little than I truly believe you've been shot by cupid's arrow and you have the chance to share a love and bond so powerful it's unlike anything that's been written before in fairytales.

I have a very optimistic outlook on relationships and love - yes I like to consider myself a hopeless romantic. The thing that bothers me about relationships is people tend to just throw it all away and never look back. To me, that's very very depressing, especially when you've spent the good part of several months maybe even years building up some sort of foundation - a solid foundation for the relationship you're growing to build on.

Imagine if they got halfway through the Eiffel tower and decided to quit...that would make for a very depressing monument. While I can be quick to "run away" from my problems, I'm the last person to ever flush love down the drain. Ive delt with so much heartache and loss in my life I hate watching something like ABDL tear a relationship apart - like it's done so many times over and over again in my life. Hell, my own father repeatably reminded me growing up I would NEVER be able to find someone who accepted me for WHO I WAS. I think that's why I've always been the dude that gets broken up with. I have the heart that keeps getting bought at the store then returned and sold open box to another girl who takes it right back.

I've come to learn that there is nothing more valuable, precious, or important in life than LOVE. I am happy for you that you've found someone you can share this unique aspect of your life with together. Ive been coming to this site for 5+ years and I've seen SO SO SO many similar posts about mommies finding their littles or vice versea. I can only keep hoping and praying that someday there's a mommy out there that is posting in a forum like this looking for a little like me.

It's funny that you talk about love and everything. As it turns out, we actually dated at one point for almost a year and a half, but then had some issues and broke up about a year ago. But we stayed friends because we were already very close even before we dated, and it's only coming out now that we're both interested in the same thing. But I think it's a sort of hopeful story if you think about it. You just never know who could be the one who is the mommy you're looking for, even if they're not your significant other, so definitely don't give up hope.
 
I'm sorry to hear about your breakup. If you both are into the same thing, and you have a history why not try and work things out?
 
I'd suggest planning out the day in advance (but then be ready to abandon or adjust things as you do activities and some need to resonate). Start with things to get ready and get into the proper mindset, have a few playtime activities planned, then something to calm down, and cleanup time at the end. Here's just one example:

You might start by checking with him to make sure that he has at least one big drink before you even come over. When you get there, you can change his clothes. Put him in a diaper and if he's got any other youthful clothes like t-shirts, overalls, or jammies, put him in those too. Talk to him while you're doing it, tell him how cute he is, whatever you're feeling.

Then you could have a feeding where you give him a bottle, and follow that up with some active playtime. Maybe hide and seek in the house or playing pretend with his toys together.

Then lunch (make sure you've checked on his diaper by this point). Do something fun during lunch, like feeding him, maybe airplane coming in for landing or something.

For the afternoon, do something quiet. You can read a story together, maybe even put him down for a short nap if you have the time. Check his diaper again, make sure he's clean and dry.

Then when that's done, it's cleanup time (put on some music) and at the very end, get him out of his diaper and back into big kid clothes (and a shower if needed) in prep for his Dad getting back.

Tyger said:
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Oh, try diapering him more thickly than he is used too, that might help too, it makes it harder to use the legs, and you feel like your diaper is more obvious as it would be on a baby, as apposed to the discrete design of adult diapers. You can try things like cutting holes in the the first diaper you are going to put on him, and then putting a second diaper on top of it so they both can absorb, which means longer time between diaper changes, but more waddling as the diaper gets wet, if it is one that expands much.

This is also good advice. Really thick diapers contribute a lot to the babyish feeling, especially if he's used to wearing diapers normally but would be surprised by the extra thickness.
 
Does he by chance visit this website too? I heard another member tell a story similar to this, and it makes me wonder if they are connected. I think the other member mentioned ed that he was asexual.
 
Ñow is this "caretaking" just in the ABDL fun play sense or is this an actual job? Because you may be ill prepared for the "employment" responsabilities versus the fun ones.

I have been employing a caretaker for 10 years.they are making currently $ 12.65 per hour.they do not just care for me but rather me the dog and the house.
 
As I think I told him, when you do a roleplay, you are totally in charge. Unless he breaks out with a safe word, he should be willing to follow your commands and not make you uncomfortable by fighting back. You could exercise the authority by giving seemingly senseless commands, such as, "Pick up these toys and take them over there to play with them." By placing him in the submissive, and yourself in the dominant, you will go a long way toward making it real for him, and hopefully good for you, too. Also keep in mind that he is new to AB as well, and so has probably not settled on a preferred age. It may take some experimentation to find the age that works for both of you. I hope you find it all enjoyable.
 
You want the baby lego's walmart should have the big baby ones.
Bath time bubble bath.

Finger paints are fun and messy.
Baby games also reading story's I love bed time stories I get mine read to me on youtube .
Baby bottles are fun avent with 4 drops or sippy cup.
PBJ's cheery O as a finger food snack or fruit loops too
The hardest thing is communication you dont know until you try it dont get discouraged.
we can be pick ie about how our diapers are my GF once was trying to put one on it was not how I like it.
So I started to re-do it now she won't touch them Im so bummed.

A very cool surprise is a stuffed animal some of us love those a lot .
Ask him what his fantasies are we all have those but it may not turn out the way we felt it would.
Some things I thought I would like to do I did not.
Oh wow a birthday would be a great thing to do easy too.
You can make a lot of things fun all the best to you both
 
noahVmiller said:
I'm sorry to hear about your breakup. If you both are into the same thing, and you have a history why not try and work things out?

There's a few complications that are hard to work out. At least for now, we're better off as friends.

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ArchieRoni said:
I'd suggest planning out the day in advance (but then be ready to abandon or adjust things as you do activities and some need to resonate). Start with things to get ready and get into the proper mindset, have a few playtime activities planned, then something to calm down, and cleanup time at the end. Here's just one example:

You might start by checking with him to make sure that he has at least one big drink before you even come over. When you get there, you can change his clothes. Put him in a diaper and if he's got any other youthful clothes like t-shirts, overalls, or jammies, put him in those too. Talk to him while you're doing it, tell him how cute he is, whatever you're feeling.

Then you could have a feeding where you give him a bottle, and follow that up with some active playtime. Maybe hide and seek in the house or playing pretend with his toys together.

Then lunch (make sure you've checked on his diaper by this point). Do something fun during lunch, like feeding him, maybe airplane coming in for landing or something.

For the afternoon, do something quiet. You can read a story together, maybe even put him down for a short nap if you have the time. Check his diaper again, make sure he's clean and dry.

Then when that's done, it's cleanup time (put on some music) and at the very end, get him out of his diaper and back into big kid clothes (and a shower if needed) in prep for his Dad getting back.



This is also good advice. Really thick diapers contribute a lot to the babyish feeling, especially if he's used to wearing diapers normally but would be surprised by the extra thickness.

I really love your whole idea for the full day. Unfortunately we don't have unlimited time and we're doing this in the evening. We can probably work with this somehow, but it's a good jumping point.

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Tyger said:
Does he by chance visit this website too? I heard another member tell a story similar to this, and it makes me wonder if they are connected. I think the other member mentioned ed that he was asexual.

Actually, yes, he does. He told me that since I was having trouble coming up with ideas that this would be a good place to ask.

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Tetra said:
Ñow is this "caretaking" just in the ABDL fun play sense or is this an actual job? Because you may be ill prepared for the "employment" responsabilities versus the fun ones.

I have been employing a caretaker for 10 years.they are making currently $ 12.65 per hour.they do not just care for me but rather me the dog and the house.

No, this isn't a job. This is a fun thing. I just kind of call myself a caretaker because I don't know how I feel about the term mommy just yet.

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BlueGrey said:
As I think I told him, when you do a roleplay, you are totally in charge. Unless he breaks out with a safe word, he should be willing to follow your commands and not make you uncomfortable by fighting back. You could exercise the authority by giving seemingly senseless commands, such as, "Pick up these toys and take them over there to play with them." By placing him in the submissive, and yourself in the dominant, you will go a long way toward making it real for him, and hopefully good for you, too. Also keep in mind that he is new to AB as well, and so has probably not settled on a preferred age. It may take some experimentation to find the age that works for both of you. I hope you find it all enjoyable.

You're probably right, I would feel a bit better if I could get that control. Part of me is still struggling with the idea of making the switch from our friendship into this new relationship, but this would help with the transition.

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foxkits said:
You want the baby lego's walmart should have the big baby ones.
Bath time bubble bath.

Finger paints are fun and messy.
Baby games also reading story's I love bed time stories I get mine read to me on youtube .
Baby bottles are fun avent with 4 drops or sippy cup.
PBJ's cheery O as a finger food snack or fruit loops too
The hardest thing is communication you dont know until you try it dont get discouraged.
we can be pick ie about how our diapers are my GF once was trying to put one on it was not how I like it.
So I started to re-do it now she won't touch them Im so bummed.

A very cool surprise is a stuffed animal some of us love those a lot .
Ask him what his fantasies are we all have those but it may not turn out the way we felt it would.
Some things I thought I would like to do I did not.
Oh wow a birthday would be a great thing to do easy too.
You can make a lot of things fun all the best to you both

I like a lot of these ideas. I'll have to discuss with him what kinds of things he would like to do. As far as I know, he doesn't have any real 'fantasies' mostly because he's only just embracing this part of him.

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babymt said:
Hi KittyKatM. With all the stuff you have planned I think you'll both have a great time. It's nice to see you both so excited.

It may take a while for him to really open up and embrace the full potential of the fun you can have together. There is nothing better in the world than really letting go and being little. Every time I become little with my wife I go a bit further. It's all about trust and having mutual boundaries.

Have fun and let us know how it goes.

Thanks a lot. :] I'm sure we'll both enjoy it and we'll certainly post about it after. Probably with some more questions too lol.
 
KittyKatM said:
Actually, yes, he does. He told me that since I was having trouble coming up with ideas that this would be a good place to ask.

Well kudos to you for being really supportive to him, I'm sure you both will have a lot of fun.
 
When I'm having my baby time the missus chooses everything she knows my limits and my likes and I know hers but this took a lot of talking to each other before actually attempting it. When we did I think it was so much better anyway long story short talking and taking your time is the best route no one is psychic
 
My girlfriend and I do age and diaper/wet play with each other. It's still fairly new, we've been experimenting with different things for about 6 months. I've written a couple of threads about our experiences.

The biggest thing we've learned is to suspend belief and let things happen. Enjoy the experience, and accept the fact that the "storyline" your playing doesn't always have to make sense. In an ideal world, you would be able to just have the little regress and could play through a scenario with perfect fluidity, but in reality you may have to make things up as you go, or break character, and it might not always seem plausible.

For example, the phone might ring, there may be a knock on the door, or there may be time constraints that will stop things from being "perfect." So from my experience you need to have flexibility with your age play.

I enjoy my little time, and like being around 9-12 years old. My girlfriend likes being around 3-5. But we can do both at the same time and enjoy it. We may start out as big kids, playmates or cousins, and both be wearing protection. We generally wear Depends and Tena briefs and pretend they are pull ups. It doesn't matter that 11 year olds wouldn't be wearing pull ups during the day as they played, we want to so we do. If (when) I wet myself, she will assume the role of babysitter and help me change. It's a role swap without a costume change. I just ignore the fact that she was my little friend moments ago and may be wet herself, suddenly she is a grown up helping me.

Then, when she needs attention, she can slot into the persona of her little age, and I can change her, bathe her, and dress her like a little girl. All while I'm still dressed as a kid and maybe wearing a wet pull up.

We understand that if we can regress and pretend to be younger than we are, we should also be able to pretend or ignore other things that don't necessarily add up right in our scenario.

Another example is watching movies or TV. We love to be diapered, wearing our onesies and snuggling on the couch pretending to be whatever age suits our mood, and to keep telling each other about how we each need to pee, or have peed as we sat there. But we will be drinking alcohol and watching grown up movies that kids would never be allowed to see. We watched Friday the 13th a couple of weeks ago, and it was so nice to pretend to get so scared that we both wet our pants from fright.

I agree with what others have said. The actual diaper change is the most intimate and important part. Everything leading up to that is just window dressing to set the mood first.

Regarding diaper changes, unlike real life, the destination is more important than the journey. We can play out numerous roles and scenarios and characters, but it all leads up to the important issue of being changed. For me, as a big kid, I like being caught wetting my pants, or even better being told too, and then being told to fetch dry pants, a towel and a wash cloth. I stand there as my babysitter removed my pants or pull up, wiped me down, then holds up clean pants to step into. She likes the babyish way of being bathed or showered, then rubbed dry, before being laid down and being powdered and lotioned up before being dressed in little girl clothes.

When we first started doing this, it took a few attempts to realise that following a set script just didn't work.
 
Congratulations I am happy that you have found someone whom you both can be so "free" together. I could only imagine if my ex had enjoyed wearing diapers and we got to RP together as LITTLES nonetheless. I NEVER imagined I would find someone so accepting so I never pushed the diaper wearing - she made it clear that was her limit. If your partner regressed with you and you both got to enjoy, and connect in little space together - that sounds unbelievable.
 
Every relationship is different and it probably s a bit unexpected that your partner will one day turn around and tell you the like being treated like a baby or that it'd be a real turn on to wear nappies together. I always try to look at it from that perspective when telling partners and knowing it might take a lot of time and talking to explain it
 
Thanks everyone for your good advice and suggestions. I do realize that there's no way to plan out every single thing that we do, but I think I have enough ideas now to have enough to do to fill the time, and still have ideas for the future. We're actually doing this tonight, so we'll let you know how everything goes.

I have one question, though, if anyone happens to see this. What's the best way to check him for wetness? I've never even checked a real baby before so I don't know exactly what I'm looking for.
 
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