In-Public to make my disability visible

[MatalicPebble]

Slightly Regressing in public
"How far would be too far?"
Obviously I know some extremes I would never do, but a lot of us differ on this.

Back Story
Let me start with a story or two just so we are on the same page. I am autistic AS with OCD. I was diagnosed with OCD at a young age because it focussed on obsessive thoughts. Even today I struggle sometimes with obsessing over possible scenerios and overthinking how I would react to them.
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Some might remember when I attempted electrical school. One day during that time my class mates were talking about a fellow student who would have panic attacks. Even making fun of her because of their unbelief. This enraged me because I suffer from OCD. Rest assured I quit that school because the office wouldn't do anything to help me except talk to the one who taught it. Every time nothing changed.
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Previous discussion
I mentioned this once before, but I would like a little more input on it. That and an update on how its going. My reasons are strictly to make it more visible for my disability. As in not to the point of causing more problems then my disability already does. At least this is manageable as opposed to being loud and obnoxious without knowing it until its too late. Not to mention my mouth bleeding when I clamp my jaw shut from anxiety.
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Keep in mind this really is when things get extreme. If I had my meds I handle it reasonably and then I clamp my jaw sometimes. Initially I started with my pacifier. I would have a pacifier or a plushy, but not both. For you nerds out there, "XOR gate to land of a calm mind."
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If I have a writing utensil or other item in my mouth I will bleed a little from scratches my anxious teeth clenching does sometimes. Nothing more then a paper cut, but its not pleasant. The rude looks I get for my pacifier are ten times easier to deal with.
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Recent results
I got to where I walked on the neighborhood side walks while using my pacifier. This helped me face my fears and decreased my over all anxiety tremendously. On occasion I carry a plushy pencil/pen bag for my minimum of art sketching utensils. I am trying to freewrite and sketch everyday to keep up with practice. Makes a nice excuse to have a plushy.
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The only negative I noticed is one time a car spooked me. One slowed down and got really close to the curb. I think they just really wanted to know if it was an actual pacifier. After seeing me jump I think they realized this was "stalking," and I never had problems after that. However, its been a little less frequent that I had a chance to go for a walk with my pacifier. I been keeping it in a translucent cradle to prevent myself from losing ground and I end up overthinking this again.
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My thoughts on this
I been thinking about slightly age regressing in public for when ever its my own time. Doing very subtle hints only to calm my own mind and or to get out of my house even though my anxiety is not too good. I obviously don't do this at work, but my usual strategies can be very taxing. I sure don't want this for my off days.
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People think I am a kinkster big deal! At least I can see who are friendly to autistics and those who are not. The physical reactions makes this ten times easier to see both them and me. My disability would be visible.

 

[Tangela]

Curiously enough, I've just talked about something similar here. I will share some of my ideas:

There is unnecessary exposition and legitimate exposition.

Unnecessary exposition is exposition just for the sake of it. It has no purpose other than provoke others about our ABDL existence. It's kinda like stepping in front of someone screaming "look at me, I'm an ABDL, hahaha" when this someone doesn't want to know. Unnecessary exposition almost always sheds a negative light at our community and, in my opinion, it's a form of exhibitionism. I think it should be avoided at all costs.

Legitimate exposition is exposition that has a legitimate purpose other just "shock value" and normally is associated with building self confidence and being comfortable with who you are. For example, maybe you are in a new shopping center and your diaper becomes a bit too wet and just can't find a safe place to change it (happened to me once); so you have to ask a security guard. Maybe you lean down to tie your shoe and inevitably your diaper shows a bit. Or you just having a really bad time and need to maintain your level of functionality, so you use some form of regression to keep pushing forward. Legitimate exposition sometimes make non AB/DL/IC more compassionate about our condition and perceive us in a more normal way (there will always be jerks in the world, unfortunately).

So, wearing a paci in public could be one or another, because what matters is the purpose. And the purpose only you can truly know, in this case. Do you wear just to shock others? To make yourself an exhibit? Do you secretly like when someone have a bad reaction to it? This would count as unnecessary exposition, IMO.

Now, from your description, the above paragraph doesn't seems to be the case. It's seems that you are using it as a coping mechanism to maintain functionality; that you are reasonable enough to where and how to do it and that it's helping you live a better life. If this is the case, go for it. I, personally, 100% approve. Just continue to be reasonable, and for those that will not understand, use your new boost in confidence to don't care.

This should be a relatively short post, but because I just can't stop writing () , I will add my own little rant: Sometimes, the worst part of functional ASD is the "functional" part. It sucks a lot. Big time. To have immense internal struggles to do trivial things like talk or shop for clothes, but because you are resilient enough to control it, people don't see. And if they don't see, they don't believe. And if they don't believe, it's an excuse. And then, our coping mechanisms are all "excuses" to be different. So, I must confess, I too sometimes let go the strict control I have over symptoms to see if I can extract some compassion from the world.

 

[MatalicPebble]

Curiously enough, I've just talked about something similar here. I will share some of my ideas:

There is unnecessary exposition and legitimate exposition.

Unnecessary exposition is exposition just for the sake of it. It has no purpose other than provoke others about our ABDL existence. It's kinda like stepping in front of someone screaming "look at me, I'm an ABDL, hahaha" when this someone doesn't want to know. Unnecessary exposition almost always sheds a negative light at our community and, in my opinion, it's a form of exhibitionism. I think it should be avoided at all costs.

Legitimate exposition is exposition that has a legitimate purpose other just "shock value" and normally is associated with building self confidence and being comfortable with who you are. For example, maybe you are in a new shopping center and your diaper becomes a bit too wet and just can't find a safe place to change it (happened to me once); so you have to ask a security guard. Maybe you lean down to tie your shoe and inevitably your diaper shows a bit. Or you just having a really bad time and need to maintain your level of functionality, so you use some form of regression to keep pushing forward. Legitimate exposition sometimes make non AB/DL/IC more compassionate about our condition and perceive us in a more normal way (there will always be jerks in the world, unfortunately).

So, wearing a paci in public could be one or another, because what matters is the purpose. And the purpose only you can truly know, in this case. Do you wear just to shock others? To make yourself an exhibit? Do you secretly like when someone have a bad reaction to it? This would count as unnecessary exposition, IMO.

Now, from your description, the above paragraph doesn't seems to be the case. It's seems that you are using it as a coping mechanism to maintain functionality; that you are reasonable enough to where and how to do it and that it's helping you live a better life. If this is the case, go for it. I, personally, 100% approve. Just continue to be reasonable, and for those that will not understand, use your new boost in confidence to don't care.

This should be a relatively short post, but because I just can't stop writing () , I will add my own little rant: Sometimes, the worst part of functional ASD is the "functional" part. It sucks a lot. Big time. To have immense internal struggles to do trivial things like talk or shop for clothes, but because you are resilient enough to control it, people don't see. And if they don't see, they don't believe. And if they don't believe, it's an excuse. And then, our coping mechanisms are all "excuses" to be different. So, I must confess, I too sometimes let go the strict control I have over symptoms to see if I can extract some compassion from the world.

Your critique on this concept is very well thought out. I bet youmade A's in writing class. Your thesis is very easy to spot. "Unnecessary exposition almost always sheds a negative light at our community and, in my opinion, it's a form of exhibitionism." Don't feel ashamed of writing everything you did. I really do apreciate the advice. Looking at the counter point I would have brought up was very interesting in that this is a forum "thread response." Its nice to know there are real people on here who can voice their ideas without logical falacies. Which by the way is a big pet peave of mine.
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Hopefully this
helps clarify things
You are correct. I use a lot of this to help cope. I like to keep my pacifier in a translucent cradel and then I have a crochet and piece over another one that is semi-hidden. Mostly this is to remind myself to not get stuck in the fight-or-flight response. When I get stuck I make a much more drastic scene then if I simply used a pacifier. Its not pleasant at all. It also causes unecessary dramma for my family. Luckinly most of my family is very tolerant of this side of me.
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My idea of hinting at slight age regression would be using a pacifier while at the library, a stuffed animal in my arms and reading a book or doing complex math or writing. Some how exposing my inner child in small amounts helps with escaping the fight-or-flight response. In simple terms, "I face my fears of being scene." After I acknoledge the inevitable I am able to cope. Its like waiting for a bomb to go off and even the sound of book slamming shut makes me jump.

 

[pd8615]

This is not a discussion about mask wearing, but in my country it is mandatory.

Say what you want elsewhere about masks, but they sure make pacifier use in public easy and non imposing on others.

That being said, living in a major city, I see people smoking crack walking down the street.

We seem to have a consent fetish on this site, over things that are harmless, while things that are actually harmful are shoved in our face on a daily basis.

 

[Saltedcaramel64]

This is not a discussion about mask wearing, but in my country it is mandatory.

Say what you want elsewhere about masks, but they sure make pacifier use in public easy and non imposing on others.

That being said, living in a major city, I see people smoking crack walking down the street.

We seem to have a consent fetish on this site, over things that are harmless, while things that are actually harmful are shoved in our face on a daily basis.

Its crazy how rules are created these days. Where I live its illegal to smoke a cigarette on the street but there are vending machines on the street that sell heroin to drug addicts. They want smokers to be seen as disgusting villians while trying to appear sympathetic to drug addicts.
The city government people want some sort of upside down world utopia.

 

[MatalicPebble]

Another way to look at it is with my own faith. I believe in speaking boldly and without fear. Yet this is often frowned upon by our current culture. I believe if we go boldly with our coping devices especially in a manner that still maintains modesty it will eventually be accepted. Perhaps even inspire fashion and other forms of art. While smoking is not accepted in some stores it is allowed in their designated areas.
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You search the history of art and even music you will find references to smoking. In my perspective it can never be forced all at once. Social interaction still carries a set of unspoken rules whether we like it or not.

 

[Saltedcaramel64]

Another way to look at it is with my own faith. I believe in speaking boldly and without fear. Yet this is often frowned upon by our current culture. I believe if we go boldly with our coping devices especially in a manner that still maintains modesty it will eventually be accepted. Perhaps even inspire fashion and other forms of art. While smoking is not accepted in some stores it is allowed in their designated areas.
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You search the history of art and even music you will find references to smoking. In my perspective it can never be forced all at once. Social interaction still carries a set of unspoken rules whether we like it or not.

Im not talking about stores. Smoking in stores has been illegal for close to 20 years now. Its now illegal to smoke outside on the street, but if I wanted to shoot heroin in the streets that's okay.

 

[chrischrischris]

I smoke cigarettes since I was 8 . I think why can you still buy them if it is that bad . I'll leave it there because it could get political

 

[MatalicPebble]

I smoke cigarettes since I was 8 . I think why can you still buy them if it is that bad . I'll leave it there because it could get political

Yea, I meant this thread to be about coping strategies similar to ABDL, but a more modest public version of it. I was not intending for this to get political.

 

[chrischrischris]

Yea, I meant this thread to be about coping strategies similar to ABDL, but a more modest public version of it. I was not intending for this to get political.

Yeah I know what you mean not all disabilities are visible . Mental issues are not seen . just how people cope with life issues

 

[Finny]

Slightly Regressing in public
"How far would be too far?"
Obviously I know some extremes I would never do, but a lot of us differ on this.

Back Story
Let me start with a story or two just so we are on the same page. I am autistic AS with OCD. I was diagnosed with OCD at a young age because it focussed on obsessive thoughts. Even today I struggle sometimes with obsessing over possible scenerios and overthinking how I would react to them.
.
Some might remember when I attempted electrical school. One day during that time my class mates were talking about a fellow student who would have panic attacks. Even making fun of her because of their unbelief. This enraged me because I suffer from OCD. Rest assured I quit that school because the office wouldn't do anything to help me except talk to the one who taught it. Every time nothing changed.
.
Previous discussion
I mentioned this once before, but I would like a little more input on it. That and an update on how its going. My reasons are strictly to make it more visible for my disability. As in not to the point of causing more problems then my disability already does. At least this is manageable as opposed to being loud and obnoxious without knowing it until its too late. Not to mention my mouth bleeding when I clamp my jaw shut from anxiety.
.
Keep in mind this really is when things get extreme. If I had my meds I handle it reasonably and then I clamp my jaw sometimes. Initially I started with my pacifier. I would have a pacifier or a plushy, but not both. For you nerds out there, "XOR gate to land of a calm mind."
.
If I have a writing utensil or other item in my mouth I will bleed a little from scratches my anxious teeth clenching does sometimes. Nothing more then a paper cut, but its not pleasant. The rude looks I get for my pacifier are ten times easier to deal with.
.
Recent results
I got to where I walked on the neighborhood side walks while using my pacifier. This helped me face my fears and decreased my over all anxiety tremendously. On occasion I carry a plushy pencil/pen bag for my minimum of art sketching utensils. I am trying to freewrite and sketch everyday to keep up with practice. Makes a nice excuse to have a plushy.
.
The only negative I noticed is one time a car spooked me. One slowed down and got really close to the curb. I think they just really wanted to know if it was an actual pacifier. After seeing me jump I think they realized this was "stalking," and I never had problems after that. However, its been a little less frequent that I had a chance to go for a walk with my pacifier. I been keeping it in a translucent cradle to prevent myself from losing ground and I end up overthinking this again.
.
My thoughts on this
I been thinking about slightly age regressing in public for when ever its my own time. Doing very subtle hints only to calm my own mind and or to get out of my house even though my anxiety is not too good. I obviously don't do this at work, but my usual strategies can be very taxing. I sure don't want this for my off days.
.
People think I am a kinkster big deal! At least I can see who are friendly to autistics and those who are not. The physical reactions makes this ten times easier to see both them and me. My disability would be visible.

You can also try chewing fidgets designed for disabilities like ASD and other sensory issues

 

[MatalicPebble]

You can also try chewing fidgets designed for disabilities like ASD and other sensory issues

Interesting you mention it. I got angry with my pacifier once because I could not replace it with something for being out in the open. I tried tootsie pops because at least it had the tootsie roll in the middle. It actually made my anxiety worse because of the exess soliva that got every where and when I clamped my mouth as a response I would bleed from the roof of my mouth.
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My last attempt was chewlry. This actually made my jaw really sore after using it for anxiety. I gave up and eventually I simply accepted it. During the covid lock down I took my first step. I opened the blinds and used my pacifier even though people could see me. After moving to a house I decided to overcome this once and for all.
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Side note
Who ever moved this thread was brilliant. It was headed for disaster. Instead of locking it the admin or mod simply moved it. Very clever seeing how there is an audience that builds up on each sub forum. Keeping this in mind it was moved to give it one last chsnce. That admin/mod needs a pat on the back and a piece of candy.

 

[Finny]

Interesting you mention it. I got angry with my pacifier once because I could not replace it with something for being out in the open. I tried tootsie pops because at least it had the tootsie roll in the middle. It actually made my anxiety worse because of the exess soliva that got every where and when I clamped my mouth as a response I would bleed from the roof of my mouth.
.
My last attempt was chewlry. This actually made my jaw really sore after using it for anxiety. I gave up and eventually I simply accepted it. During the covid lock down I took my first step. I opened the blinds and used my pacifier even though people could see me. After moving to a house I decided to overcome this once and for all.
.
.
Side note
Who ever moved this thread was brilliant. It was headed for disaster. Instead of locking it the admin or mod simply moved it. Very clever seeing how there is an audience that builds up on each sub forum. Keeping this in mind it was moved to give it one last chsnce. That admin/mod needs a pat on the back and a piece of candy.

There are different levels of firmness on chewelry, you can get thinner and less firm options so it won't hurt your jaw

 

[tiny]

Would chewing gum help at all...?

Users of drugs like ecstasy commonly experience bruxism (teeth-grinding), and use chewing gum to protect their teeth.