Unexpected Reaction

[LittleScotty]

I've been a little inactive over the last few weeks but I had an interesting reaction from my wife recently which I wanted to share.
I've been married for 10 years and with my wife in total for 15 years, since we were both in our late teens. I always hid my ABDL side from her throughout our relationship however last year she discovered two packs of nappies in the boot of my car that I ordered and had yet to hide from her.
That post can be found here https://www.adisc.org/forum/threads/my-wife-found-my-diapers.143296/

Following this there was a LOT of discussion, mixed emotions, feelings of betrayal etc and although she didn't understand why I enjoy it she somewhat accepted it. The agreement was what I do in my own time when she's not around is up to me, whatever makes me happy. She didn't want to see nappies around the house (no problem as they've always been hidden) and she didn't want to see me wearing them or want me wearing around her (again no problem, I'd never wear knowing she'd be home). I think for her it is very much out of sight and out of mind. There was one occasion following her discovery that she caught me wearing for the first time at the end of last year that post can be found here https://www.adisc.org/forum/threads/my-wife-caught-me-wearing.146899/

During the pandemic my wife was made redundant like many other and was unemployed for the first six months of the year. As you can imagine with her being at home all the time I found it very hard to get any nappy time, only managing to do so when I was working away, making the most of my own hotel room. Recently she found a new full-time job and it's been great finally having some time to myself again. I've been wearing a lot while she's at work to and it's been great. I work shifts so I've had a lot of days to myself.

Last Friday my wife left for work around 7.30am so I got up, put on an ABU Kiddo and a onesie and got back into bed for few hours drifting in and out of sleep. I got up around 10am and was chilling in the lounge watching TV having a coffee. Around midday I heard a car door slam, it sounded like it was on our driveway so I got up and looked out the kitchen window and saw my wife coming towards the front door! I had a sudden moment of panic, I was still wearing a nappy, but I did thankfully change out of the onesie and was wearing a pair of shorts and T-shirt. The front door opened and my wife entered and I casually greeted her. It must have been in a suspicious manner as she instantly asked if I was okay, and when I said "Yeah of course" she just glared at me. She said she'd knew I was off and thought she'd come home for an hour so we could have some lunch together due to not seeing each much that week and knowing that I was working later that night. I said "Why didn't you text me?" to which she replied "Then it wouldn't be a surprise". The next thing she said was real surprise and I felt a suddenly felt my mouth go dry... She said "Am I interrupting your nappy time? This is a line that I never thought I'd hear her say and more to the point her reaction was not as I expected. I told her she wasn't interrupting at all, it was good to see her however I was wearing a nappy. She said she somewhat expected it and didn't text for that very reason. We never discuss it, I never tell her that I've been wearing a nappy at home in post-work conversations and I keep it hidden as I've always done.
She seemed to take a few seconds to process what I'd just confirmed to her then just said "Okay" and walked into the lounge. She pulled out two sandwiches and some sausage rolls she had bought and sat down on the sofa and started opening them. It was very surreal to be standing in the presence of my wife wearing a nappy under my clothes with her not being disgusted or seemingly bothered by it, this has never happened nor I thought it ever would. I sat down next to her, being really cautious as I did so as to not make too much of a rustle sound. We ate together, discussed her morning at work and made plans for the Sunday that we were off together. As it approached quarter to one she said she had to head back to work and got up so I walked her to the door. As we approached the front door to the house she turned, grabbed the bottom of my T-shirt with one hand lifting it up and the top of my shorts with the other pulling it down exposing my nappy. She looked at for few seconds, said "It's kind of cute, but still a bit weird, I'm sorry" she then kissed me and headed back to work. This is the first time she or anyone else for that matter has EVER seen me in a nappy.
I was working later that night so I only saw her briefly when she got home before I left for work but I had to ask her about what happened. She said that nothing had been said for months about me occasionally wearing nappies at home and she wanted to see if I was still doing it. She said rather than asking me and potentially denying it she wanted to see for herself. She also said since our last conversation about it she had been thinking what I look like in them. She said if it makes me happy she'll not make a big deal of it, but the same rules as before still apply and I need to do it less frequently. She confirmed again that she didn't get it, wouldn't participate and even though the nappies were cute it's not the way she wants to picture her husband.
We went on to have a good day together on the Sunday and I'm currently off today while she is at work so I'm sat writing this all padded up again!

I know some people on here are very open with their partners about their ABDL side, others are involved and actively participate but I know there is a huge majority that keep it hidden. I never intended my wife to find out, I probably would never had told her. It did cause a lot of issues and I'm lucky she reacted in the understanding way she did. In many ways it's good she now knows and is continuing to allow me to indulge myself privately. Of course I'd like her to be more involved in some way, her changing me is my absolute dream!

 

[Forced]

I’m glad she reacted calmly when she discovered that her suspicions that you were wearing on your day off were proved to be correct.
If I’m honest I think it’s a step back rather than forward.

I do worry that you mention she said “you need to do it less frequently”.
Sounds to me that, given the opportunity, she will try catch you wearing again and again which may eventually lead to an ultimatum if you’re always padded on her arrival.

I hope I’m wrong

 

[BBchat]

I suggest that you should "reward" that kind of behaviour. Cook her something special, take her out or give her an unexpected back rub. Early on in my relationship, I made it certain that my partner would associate me being diapered, with her feeling good. That association has served me well .

PS: not a sociopath; only reciprocated her good efforts, which turned out to also be a form of classical conditioning.

 

[Kittyinpink]

I've been a little inactive over the last few weeks but I had an interesting reaction from my wife recently which I wanted to share.
I've been married for 10 years and with my wife in total for 15 years, since we were both in our late teens. I always hid my ABDL side from her throughout our relationship however last year she discovered two packs of nappies in the boot of my car that I ordered and had yet to hide from her.
That post can be found here https://www.adisc.org/forum/threads/my-wife-found-my-diapers.143296/

Following this there was a LOT of discussion, mixed emotions, feelings of betrayal etc and although she didn't understand why I enjoy it she somewhat accepted it. The agreement was what I do in my own time when she's not around is up to me, whatever makes me happy. She didn't want to see nappies around the house (no problem as they've always been hidden) and she didn't want to see me wearing them or want me wearing around her (again no problem, I'd never wear knowing she'd be home). I think for her it is very much out of sight and out of mind. There was one occasion following her discovery that she caught me wearing for the first time at the end of last year that post can be found here https://www.adisc.org/forum/threads/my-wife-caught-me-wearing.146899/

During the pandemic my wife was made redundant like many other and was unemployed for the first six months of the year. As you can imagine with her being at home all the time I found it very hard to get any nappy time, only managing to do so when I was working away, making the most of my own hotel room. Recently she found a new full-time job and it's been great finally having some time to myself again. I've been wearing a lot while she's at work to and it's been great. I work shifts so I've had a lot of days to myself.

Last Friday my wife left for work around 7.30am so I got up, put on an ABU Kiddo and a onesie and got back into bed for few hours drifting in and out of sleep. I got up around 10am and was chilling in the lounge watching TV having a coffee. Around midday I heard a car door slam, it sounded like it was on our driveway so I got up and looked out the kitchen window and saw my wife coming towards the front door! I had a sudden moment of panic, I was still wearing a nappy, but I did thankfully change out of the onesie and was wearing a pair of shorts and T-shirt. The front door opened and my wife entered and I casually greeted her. It must have been in a suspicious manner as she instantly asked if I was okay, and when I said "Yeah of course" she just glared at me. She said she'd knew I was off and thought she'd come home for an hour so we could have some lunch together due to not seeing each much that week and knowing that I was working later that night. I said "Why didn't you text me?" to which she replied "Then it wouldn't be a surprise". The next thing she said was real surprise and I felt a suddenly felt my mouth go dry... She said "Am I interrupting your nappy time? This is a line that I never thought I'd hear her say and more to the point her reaction was not as I expected. I told her she wasn't interrupting at all, it was good to see her however I was wearing a nappy. She said she somewhat expected it and didn't text for that very reason. We never discuss it, I never tell her that I've been wearing a nappy at home in post-work conversations and I keep it hidden as I've always done.
She seemed to take a few seconds to process what I'd just confirmed to her then just said "Okay" and walked into the lounge. She pulled out two sandwiches and some sausage rolls she had bought and sat down on the sofa and started opening them. It was very surreal to be standing in the presence of my wife wearing a nappy under my clothes with her not being disgusted or seemingly bothered by it, this has never happened nor I thought it ever would. I sat down next to her, being really cautious as I did so as to not make too much of a rustle sound. We ate together, discussed her morning at work and made plans for the Sunday that we were off together. As it approached quarter to one she said she had to head back to work and got up so I walked her to the door. As we approached the front door to the house she turned, grabbed the bottom of my T-shirt with one hand lifting it up and the top of my shorts with the other pulling it down exposing my nappy. She looked at for few seconds, said "It's kind of cute, but still a bit weird, I'm sorry" she then kissed me and headed back to work. This is the first time she or anyone else for that matter has EVER seen me in a nappy.
I was working later that night so I only saw her briefly when she got home before I left for work but I had to ask her about what happened. She said that nothing had been said for months about me occasionally wearing nappies at home and she wanted to see if I was still doing it. She said rather than asking me and potentially denying it she wanted to see for herself. She also said since our last conversation about it she had been thinking what I look like in them. She said if it makes me happy she'll not make a big deal of it, but the same rules as before still apply and I need to do it less frequently. She confirmed again that she didn't get it, wouldn't participate and even though the nappies were cute it's not the way she wants to picture her husband.
We went on to have a good day together on the Sunday and I'm currently off today while she is at work so I'm sat writing this all padded up again!

I know some people on here are very open with their partners about their ABDL side, others are involved and actively participate but I know there is a huge majority that keep it hidden. I never intended my wife to find out, I probably would never had told her. It did cause a lot of issues and I'm lucky she reacted in the understanding way she did. In many ways it's good she now knows and is continuing to allow me to indulge myself privately. Of course I'd like her to be more involved in some way, her changing me is my absolute dream!

Thank you very much for sharing all that. And I wish you well for your future. I'm sure it's going to get easier for both of you.

 

[tam1623]

Thanks for sharing your experience.
Although in the past when I was single I met with care-givers and atended events and stuff.
Since being in a relationship for the past 4 years I have kept things discreet myself.
I told my partner early in the relationship and she knows I stay connected to my DL friends I have met
along the way but does not participate.
It's pretty much out of sight out of mind too.

 

[sinceiwassmall]

Thanks for sharing this. You’ve told it with such nuance and thoughtful caring for your wife and yourself. It sure seems clear she didn’t come home that day to be mad at you or “catch” you. It seems like she’s trying to get used to the idea, and doesn’t think she ever will, but is working on it. And that’s going to wobble back-and-forth from moment to moment and day to day, from wanting to see you in your nappy and twinges of admitting/accepting it’s cute, to not wanting to see and wishing it wasn’t happening.

And it feels like you’re compassionately respecting that, without any expectations, which feels like the best and only strategy,

 

[iluvdps2]

She seems to care deeply about you and is possibly struggling to accept this side of you, but not in an angry and disapproving way. After a few weeks have passed, it may be appropriate to simply ask her, "Since that day you came home for lunch to confirm your suspicions about my diaper wearing, do you have any additional questions for me? I realize this may be difficult for you, and if you want to talk about it, I'm open to hearing what you have to say." (Notice I didn't say "I'll stop this if you want me to..." just validate her feelings and let her know you will answer questions to the best of your ability)

 

[Zeke]

I've been a little inactive over the last few weeks but I had an interesting reaction from my wife recently which I wanted to share.
I've been married for 10 years and with my wife in total for 15 years, since we were both in our late teens. I always hid my ABDL side from her throughout our relationship however last year she discovered two packs of nappies in the boot of my car that I ordered and had yet to hide from her.
That post can be found here https://www.adisc.org/forum/threads/my-wife-found-my-diapers.143296/

Following this there was a LOT of discussion, mixed emotions, feelings of betrayal etc and although she didn't understand why I enjoy it she somewhat accepted it. The agreement was what I do in my own time when she's not around is up to me, whatever makes me happy. She didn't want to see nappies around the house (no problem as they've always been hidden) and she didn't want to see me wearing them or want me wearing around her (again no problem, I'd never wear knowing she'd be home). I think for her it is very much out of sight and out of mind. There was one occasion following her discovery that she caught me wearing for the first time at the end of last year that post can be found here https://www.adisc.org/forum/threads/my-wife-caught-me-wearing.146899/

During the pandemic my wife was made redundant like many other and was unemployed for the first six months of the year. As you can imagine with her being at home all the time I found it very hard to get any nappy time, only managing to do so when I was working away, making the most of my own hotel room. Recently she found a new full-time job and it's been great finally having some time to myself again. I've been wearing a lot while she's at work to and it's been great. I work shifts so I've had a lot of days to myself.

Last Friday my wife left for work around 7.30am so I got up, put on an ABU Kiddo and a onesie and got back into bed for few hours drifting in and out of sleep. I got up around 10am and was chilling in the lounge watching TV having a coffee. Around midday I heard a car door slam, it sounded like it was on our driveway so I got up and looked out the kitchen window and saw my wife coming towards the front door! I had a sudden moment of panic, I was still wearing a nappy, but I did thankfully change out of the onesie and was wearing a pair of shorts and T-shirt. The front door opened and my wife entered and I casually greeted her. It must have been in a suspicious manner as she instantly asked if I was okay, and when I said "Yeah of course" she just glared at me. She said she'd knew I was off and thought she'd come home for an hour so we could have some lunch together due to not seeing each much that week and knowing that I was working later that night. I said "Why didn't you text me?" to which she replied "Then it wouldn't be a surprise". The next thing she said was real surprise and I felt a suddenly felt my mouth go dry... She said "Am I interrupting your nappy time? This is a line that I never thought I'd hear her say and more to the point her reaction was not as I expected. I told her she wasn't interrupting at all, it was good to see her however I was wearing a nappy. She said she somewhat expected it and didn't text for that very reason. We never discuss it, I never tell her that I've been wearing a nappy at home in post-work conversations and I keep it hidden as I've always done.
She seemed to take a few seconds to process what I'd just confirmed to her then just said "Okay" and walked into the lounge. She pulled out two sandwiches and some sausage rolls she had bought and sat down on the sofa and started opening them. It was very surreal to be standing in the presence of my wife wearing a nappy under my clothes with her not being disgusted or seemingly bothered by it, this has never happened nor I thought it ever would. I sat down next to her, being really cautious as I did so as to not make too much of a rustle sound. We ate together, discussed her morning at work and made plans for the Sunday that we were off together. As it approached quarter to one she said she had to head back to work and got up so I walked her to the door. As we approached the front door to the house she turned, grabbed the bottom of my T-shirt with one hand lifting it up and the top of my shorts with the other pulling it down exposing my nappy. She looked at for few seconds, said "It's kind of cute, but still a bit weird, I'm sorry" she then kissed me and headed back to work. This is the first time she or anyone else for that matter has EVER seen me in a nappy.
I was working later that night so I only saw her briefly when she got home before I left for work but I had to ask her about what happened. She said that nothing had been said for months about me occasionally wearing nappies at home and she wanted to see if I was still doing it. She said rather than asking me and potentially denying it she wanted to see for herself. She also said since our last conversation about it she had been thinking what I look like in them. She said if it makes me happy she'll not make a big deal of it, but the same rules as before still apply and I need to do it less frequently. She confirmed again that she didn't get it, wouldn't participate and even though the nappies were cute it's not the way she wants to picture her husband.
We went on to have a good day together on the Sunday and I'm currently off today while she is at work so I'm sat writing this all padded up again!

I know some people on here are very open with their partners about their ABDL side, others are involved and actively participate but I know there is a huge majority that keep it hidden. I never intended my wife to find out, I probably would never had told her. It did cause a lot of issues and I'm lucky she reacted in the understanding way she did. In many ways it's good she now knows and is continuing to allow me to indulge myself privately. Of course I'd like her to be more involved in some way, her changing me is my absolute dream!

Not too sure about this being the first time anyone has EVER seen you in a nappy. I’m pretty sure your folks, those in your family, your babysitter(s), and many others may have years ago. Just call me Captain Obvious!!!

P.S. I think you may be wearing her down. Carry on with what you’re doing and who knows what you’re next “lunch date” may incorporate.

 

[Zeke]

She seems to care deeply about you and is possibly struggling to accept this side of you, but not in an angry and disapproving way. After a few weeks have passed, it may be appropriate to simply ask her, "Since that day you came home for lunch to confirm your suspicions about my diaper wearing, do you have any additional questions for me? I realize this may be difficult for you, and if you want to talk about it, I'm open to hearing what you have to say." (Notice I didn't say "I'll stop this if you want me to..." just validate her feelings and let her know you will answer questions to the best of your ability)

Good suggestion. Possibly do this in a nice note to her to allow her time to collect her thoughts on the matter before entering into a conversation with you.

 

[Lyric]

It seems to me that this is an excellent opportunity to open more dialogue with your wife about how much you enjoy wearing diapers. You've written a lovely bio of your history surrounding wearing diapers and it would be wonderful if you could share that with your wife. Its seems that the two of you have a great relationship in most respects and she seemed have a little fun when she lifted your shirt and pulled down your pants to see your diapers. Over time perhaps the two of you could have some fun together.

 

[ild95370]

I don’t try to hide it around my wife. I don’t tell her when I’m wearing, but when she notices on her own that I’m wearing it cracks her up and she can’t stop herself from smacking my butt. The only rules we have, which really hasn’t been discussed but it’s just kinda how we do it, is that unless she is on her period, I have to be available for sex and if we’ve been out drinking, I better diaper up before we go to sleep

 

[Subtlerustle]

I thinks she’s trying to to warm up to it. It’s a great baby step in your progress as a couple. Given that the secrecy was a negative for her she needs to see that her acceptance yields the best you. Some how she needs to feel the benefits of you wearing.

 

[PCS]

Hi Scotty,

I hope all’s OK with you.

That’s an interesting development and certainly more positive than “it’s me or the nappies”.

I do wonder whether she may be more accepting if it happened to be a plain design that you were wearing rather than a replica baby nappy.

As you know, my partner is fine with this thing to the point of offering to participate but has never been keen on designs that appear “babyish”, whether on me or on her.

She prefers nappies that are a solid colour, with the exception of ABU Lavenders which are patterned but which she doesn’t find too babyish.

Rears Princess Pink are the “cutesiest” she’s tried, and that was only a sample, but she seems to positively love the Formacare X3 nappies which are light purple, even if they are a bit too big for her.

Anything with cute designs she finds off-putting because of the childish connotations.

A plain white/coloured nappy is more ambiguous and “acceptable” for all ages whereas an ABU SDK is clearly a replica of a nappy that a child would wear.

Personally I don’t have an aversion to SDKs, Crinklz etc but I’m keen to keep her onside as I know how bloody lucky I am.

It’s just a suggestion, but I wonder whether it’s worth having the conversation with her as to whether she would prefer you to wear adult nappies without baby prints (even though she doesn’t see them)?

Therefore if she “surprises” you again, she wouldn’t be seeing baby bears?

 

[LittleScotty]

I’m glad she reacted calmly when she discovered that her suspicions that you were wearing on your day off were proved to be correct.
If I’m honest I think it’s a step back rather than forward.

I do worry that you mention she said “you need to do it less frequently”.
Sounds to me that, given the opportunity, she will try catch you wearing again and again which may eventually lead to an ultimatum if you’re always padded on her arrival.

I hope I’m wrong

I'm definitely leaning more towards it being positive but I appreciate your perspective.
The comment about doing it less frequently suggests she believes that I'm wearing all the time when she's not at home which isn't the case and maybe something I need to clear up with her

 

[LittleScotty]

Thanks for sharing this. You’ve told it with such nuance and thoughtful caring for your wife and yourself. It sure seems clear she didn’t come home that day to be mad at you or “catch” you. It seems like she’s trying to get used to the idea, and doesn’t think she ever will, but is working on it. And that’s going to wobble back-and-forth from moment to moment and day to day, from wanting to see you in your nappy and twinges of admitting/accepting it’s cute, to not wanting to see and wishing it wasn’t happening.

And it feels like you’re compassionately respecting that, without any expectations, which feels like the best and only strategy,

She obviously found out last year at a time when she was working limited hours or was on furlough whilst I was still working full time. After that she was made redundant so my opportunities to wear were limited.
I think with her now being back at work full time she's probably been thinking about what I'm doing at home on my days off and rather than asking me directly she wanted confirmation first hand?
It's certainly cemented the fact that what she found out and what I've told her is true. Maybe it was worse in her mind and actually seeing it in reality had put her at ease somewhat. I still feel it hard to bring up in conversation as I don't want her to feel awkward (or me for that matter!)

I was at home yesterday whilst she was at work and I was padded up again but other than asking if I had a good day when she got home nothing more was said...

 

[LittleScotty]

She seems to care deeply about you and is possibly struggling to accept this side of you, but not in an angry and disapproving way. After a few weeks have passed, it may be appropriate to simply ask her, "Since that day you came home for lunch to confirm your suspicions about my diaper wearing, do you have any additional questions for me? I realize this may be difficult for you, and if you want to talk about it, I'm open to hearing what you have to say." (Notice I didn't say "I'll stop this if you want me to..." just validate her feelings and let her know you will answer questions to the best of your ability)

That's certainly a great idea. Now it's been confirmed and she's seen first hand she probably does have questions. Our discussion last year about it was mostly her trying to get her head around it and understand why. I tried my best to explain my reasoning and I referred a lot to my childhood, sense of security they give me as well as ways of coping with anxiety and stress etc and in the end I think she just wanted out of the conversation so just accepted it and gave me rules to stick to. We'd never really had another deep conversation about it since, just little comments here and there. They say time is a healer and maybe now a year on she's had time to process it more.
I'll leave it a week or so and see if anything else is mentioned, for me though it's hard to talk about with her, mainly as I fear she'll just tell me to stop altogether.

 

[LittleScotty]

It seems to me that this is an excellent opportunity to open more dialogue with your wife about how much you enjoy wearing diapers. You've written a lovely bio of your history surrounding wearing diapers and it would be wonderful if you could share that with your wife. Its seems that the two of you have a great relationship in most respects and she seemed have a little fun when she lifted your shirt and pulled down your pants to see your diapers. Over time perhaps the two of you could have some fun together.

Like I've said to others, I agree it's something we need to talk about again albeit something I want to approach cautiously. She definitely reacted in a way I would have never expected, especially pulling down my shorts and looking at my nappy. I was very on edge whilst having lunch though, it felt very odd sat there with her next to me whilst I was wearing. At least it was dry too, I wonder if her reaction would have been the same then...

 

[LittleScotty]

I don’t try to hide it around my wife. I don’t tell her when I’m wearing, but when she notices on her own that I’m wearing it cracks her up and she can’t stop herself from smacking my butt. The only rules we have, which really hasn’t been discussed but it’s just kinda how we do it, is that unless she is on her period, I have to be available for sex and if we’ve been out drinking, I better diaper up before we go to sleep

Your relationship sounds great and certainly what I'd love mine to be like!
Honestly though I'm just happy that she's been so calm about it now, I always feared she just leave me hence I've kept it hidden our entire relationship

 

[LittleScotty]

It’s just a suggestion, but I wonder whether it’s worth having the conversation with her as to whether she would prefer you to wear adult nappies without baby prints (even though she doesn’t see them)?

Therefore if she “surprises” you again, she wouldn’t be seeing baby bears?

That's certainly a good suggestion. I've made it clear from the start I'm not an AB, (which is no doubt what she first thought) and that I associate nappies with how I felt as I child and the sense of security I feel etc.

I do prefer ABDL style nappies for the simple reason I associate them with my childhood but I'd certainly be open to plain ones of that put her more at ease. I did buy a pack of DryLife Slip's after you provided some to try.