I don't even believe that I ever end up in "littlespace", because 98% of the time, ordinarily, I act like a 4 1/2 year old because of my Classic Autism, and of course, my ADHD doesn't help matters. I have a BA degree in Geography which is a complete joke, and I have way too many ex-college professors who thought I acted like a young child, but just sort of dealt with it. It wasn't unusual for me to have a pacifier in my shirt or pants pocket in high school, or in university, for that matter. Like, everyone knew I had this love of pacifiers in high school. Surprisingly, I was a student body rep (we had maybe 35-40 of them out of a school of around 910 students) and I was the school's weatherman on the PA system (I always was into weather / meteorology), and a Homecoming Prince, and I was actually among 10 students who got a most valuable student award at the end of the year - being that any grade level was eligible, to be one of those ten (among 910 students) is impressive. Honestly, I felt like a preschooler with a kiddie backpack going to university. I might as well have been going to nursery school. I would say that I was even a "problem child" for a lot of college instructors. It can be very difficult when one has Autism. As much as I was loved by my high school (presumably because I did a lot for my high school), I can't say the same things for the university that I graduated from. I went to more than one state university, one near my parents' home and another 110 miles away that I graduated from. The one I stayed in the college residence apartment dorm complex when I lived away from home, the students were not very nice to me. I got called the R word hundreds, maybe thousands of times. Some of these students were lazy and unmotivated - and partied drinking and took marijuana way too much....some never even graduated. But I graduated. I'm not going to blame myself for being like a 4 1/2 year old emotionally and socially, when I can't help myself and it was the bullies' fault. There is a difference in actively setting your maturity aside and acting like a baby; and actually not being able to help yourself and unconsciously acting like a young child even when you don't want to. I still live with my parents, and my mom complains semi-jokingly sometimes that it's unfair she had to take care of a 4 year old for 40 years. I dressed in ordinary shirts and pants, albeit more like what a college age adult would wear perhaps (even though I'm in my mid 40s). I did have this longall made for me a few years back by a mom on eBay. I also found these vintage Start Rite dark green T strap shoes on eBay, and I decided to be a mommy friend's Autistic son's lookalike for Halloween. He has Classic Autism and ADHD just like me. He's 8 chronologically now. He acts like a 2 year old sometimes yet he is very smart in certain areas. He is a whiz when it comes to Geography too - knows all the flags of all the countries, the countries, the capitals, etc. Anyway, he wore long-alls and jon jons and T strap shoes till he was 5 1/2 (he lives in Eastern North Carolina, and those kinds of outfits are more popular in the Deep South and even the Carolinas), so with his mom's blessings, I decided to be a lookalike. I never wore that outfit except Halloween. However, the COVID 19 pandemic isolation situation really made me go crazy, I had a stomach ulcer for 4 weeks in April 2020, almost started bleeding, and that was the last straw. Now I'm wearing the outfit and shoes virtually every week at my local county park, and....I really don't care what people think of me anymore. Interestingly, no one has said anything to me negative and a few people really actually said they loved my outfit, particularly my shoes. I'm trying to get more long-alls made eventually and I'm trying to get some children's shoe companies in Spain to make me some burnt orange colored leather T strap shoes.
So I wouldn't say there's any point I'm in littlespace, as, if that was case, then I would always be in that. My attention span is lousier than a 6 year old. In some ways, emotionally and socially and even a little mentally, I might be even less than a 4 1/2 year old. I'm sure most actual 4 year olds can figure out and understand that I have a developmental disability. I don't wear diapers though - totally potty trained. Although I might become incontinent as I get older, but that can happen to anyone really. I love watching some children's cartoons like Little Bear, Teletubbies, Pink Panther, etc.
- longallsboy
. Thankfully Iām good at hiding my littlespace from other people. I just do subtle things like use pretty pens, keep small plushies on my desk, and/or put stickers on my notebook. For me to get back into adult mode it helps to think about boring adult stuff like bills, work, and housework. It stresses me out a bit lol but it definitely makes me not feel little! But yeah sometimes I have a hard time managing it when Iām super stressed. Iāll sometimes even have to have a good cry in the bathroom so I donāt throw a tantrum at work like the grumpy toddler I am lol.
I have been handing a lot of stress lately and it is becoming harder and harder to stay big in school. Any ways to help me stay big in school, i am open to suggestions.