My first experience with diapers

[JustAFloof]

A few weeks ago I had my first experience with diapers and it was a... bittersweet experience.

I have had a high curiosity and interest in diapers for some months, but I didn't want to try it mainly for the lack of privacy I have (I live with four housemates that spend most of their time at home and my parents come to visit me once every week or two).

My experience started when I went to a nerby grocery store and saw something that caught my attention: they sell adult diapers. That got deep into my mind and was like a voice constantly telling me to go buy a pack to try it. So I started to plan everything: when to go buy them, how to bring them back home, where to hide them once home, when to wear them, etc.

The day came and I went to the grocery store to buy a pack. I easily get anxiety, so you can imagine that I was with a bit of anxiety on my way there, but when I got there it got really bad. It is a big grocery store and there is always a lot of people everywhere in it, so I walked around the whole store for what felt like hours (even though it was just 10-20 minutes), passing next to the diaper packs over and over again taking quick looks at them. Luckily there was only one diaper brand (I don't remember which one, but it was spanish) and I only had to decide if I wanted the big or medium size. After some time I got the medium size pack, threw it in the shopping cart and walked as fast as I could to the paying line. Once in the line I had the greatest poker face I have ever had, I was dying from anxiety inside, but everything other would see was the most inexpressive face you could imagine. After paying I put it quickly in a big bag and walked back home as fast as I could while praying that I don't cross with anyone I know.

Finally! I got back home and luckily all my housemates were either out or in their rooms, so I could almost run to my room, close the door and hide the diaper pack. Then I relaxed a lot and tried to calm down from all the anxiety I got, but I still didn't even open the pack. After relaxing and playing some videogames and then I went to have dinner with my housemates. None of them knew anything, which also helped to calm me down. After dinner I decided to lock my room door, open the pack and try wearing a diaper.

So here comes my first time wearing a diaper (as adult): I liked how it felt, it really was comfortable and it didn't block my movements as much as I thought it would, so I was really satisfied with it. And when it come to the sexual component of it... I had a bit of arousal, but it wasn't anything big. Then I tried to go sleep while wearing them... and I couldn't. It was a really weird sensation, it felt like something was wrong. I guessed it was because I had never worn diapers before and I had to get used to them, so I took them off and thought that first I would need to spend some evening wearing diapers before going to sleep to get used to them and be able to sleep while wearing them without feeling weird.

Then the next day at work came the worst part: the paranoia. For some reason I couldn't get the thought of someone finding the diaper pack and judging me a lot for it out of my head. I spent the whole work time with anxiety, thinking that I would come back home with my housemates waiting for an explanation of why I hide an adult diapers pack in my room... And even then I knew that paranoia wasn't justified (I hid the pack very well, to find it they would have to enter my room, open one of the many closets that contain boxes, open one of the many boxes and see the pack) but I still couldn't get the thought out of my head. I spent the next few days doing as I planned, wearing diapers after dinner to get used to them, but I had a constant anxiety I couldn't bare. After some days I ended up throwing the diaper pack to the thrash still having a few unused diapers in it (it had two or three) because the anxiety was killing me.

After that experience I decided to get away from all of that, try to forget about diapers and I even became inactive in this forum. It all was good, the anxiety was gone, and I didn't have many thoughts about diapers... until last week. Last week I had another bunch of strong thoughts about diapers. I had the urge to go to the grocery store and buy another pack. I tried to resist the urge as much as I could... but then my housemates announced me that they would be gone for the whole day, and the only one staying home is the one that is always closed in his room, so I wouldn't have to worry about coming back home with a pack of diapers. It was a sign, I had to give diapers another opportunity.

So I got ready and went to the grocery store again with all the anxiety. That day there were much more people than the first time, so I was much more anxious about it, but I was still decided to do it and started "patroling" the store still without taking the pack... until I found two of my co-workers there. My heart skipped a couple of beats and I felt all my insides twisting. They obviously asked me what was I doing there and I answered that I came to buy a few products of personal hygiene, then they went their way and kept shopping. But at that point I was completely unable to buy the diaper pack, I was constantly feeling that they would see it and start asking many questions I wouldn't know how to answer, the anxiety was getting stronger than ever. So I finally decided to get toothpaste and deodorant to make the trip to the store worth and forget about the diapers... And I'm really glad I did that, because on my way to the paying line I found a friend that was also shopping there and also asked me what was I buying.

After those experiences I have reached a couple of conclusions:
One is that I definitely like wearing diapers. They still feel weird and I will need to get used to them, but it's an experience I want to live more times.
The second is that I'm never ever going to physically buy diapers again. (At least while being alone with it. If I ever have a girlfriend that accepts it or an ABDL friend to buy them together, then I would feel more comfortable with it.)

So, to summ it up: Now I definitely know I like diapers (I was unsure about them before), but I still keep it very secretive and have no way to obtain them without a high risk of someone close finding it out. I will have to keep being patient with this...

 

[ThatHiddenDL]

That pretty much sums up the overall experience of buying diapers and first time wearing them very well lol. Just wait until you get to try some better quality diapers! Just a little suggestion--buy online. Anything you get from Amazon Prime should ship in a plain box, so that makes things easier. Buying from ABU, Rearz, Tykables, or NorthShore, you can expect discreet shipping as well.

\o/ welcome to the community!

 

[JustAFloof]

That pretty much sums up the overall experience of buying diapers and first time wearing them very well lol. Just wait until you get to try some better quality diapers! Just a little suggestion--buy online. Anything you get from Amazon Prime should ship in a plain box, so that makes things easier. Buying from ABU, Rearz, Tykables, or NorthShore, you can expect discreet shipping as well.

\o/ welcome to the community!

Thanks for the welcome. I had already been around the forum for a bit before, but it was mostly curiosity. Now I am more confident about being a DL (even if it's not much)

For the buying online... I don't really trust it yet. I would love to do it and it's probably just a bit of paranoia, but for what I know, Amazon (and mail deliveries in general) come at the morning which is when I work. So one of my housemates would have to take the packet and would probably start asking questions of what I bought and similar. I will eventually move somewhere else and I will hopefully be comforable enough to buy diapers online. For now I need to be patient.

 

[ThatHiddenDL]

For the buying online... I don't really trust it yet. I would love to do it and it's probably just a bit of paranoia, but for what I know, Amazon (and mail deliveries in general) come at the morning which is when I work. So one of my housemates would have to take the packet and would probably start asking questions of what I bought and similar. I will eventually move somewhere else and I will hopefully be comforable enough to buy diapers online. For now I need to be patient.

You could always just tell them you're expecting a package ( nondescript)
Actually, look into hold options for packages if you're interested. Hold options are available for UPS, USPS, and pharmacies for packages, so just an option available from my own experience. Just throwing out ideas lol.

 

[Alexande]

welcome

 

[JustAFloof]

You could always just tell them you're expecting a package ( nondescript)
Actually, look into hold options for packages if you're interested. Hold options are available for UPS, USPS, and pharmacies for packages, so just an option available from my own experience. Just throwing out ideas lol.

I don't think I will try that yet, but I will keep that in mind for the future. Thanks!

 

[Alittlereiri]

A few weeks ago I had my first experience with diapers and it was a... bittersweet experience.

I have had a high curiosity and interest in diapers for some months, but I didn't want to try it mainly for the lack of privacy I have (I live with four housemates that spend most of their time at home and my parents come to visit me once every week or two).

I recall that many many years ago , try 30 years ago hahaha. But allow me to share a few thoughts with you.
1) The diaper experience is what you allow it to be.
2) You perhaps are worrying too much on how others view you than you view yourself.
3.) Denial is no way to live.
4.) Abstinence begets desire, desire begets fixation, and fixation begets shame. ( in short by abstaining and desiring and fixating you are more enmeshed than you would have been had you simply bought them tried them and decided if you enjoyed it.)
You actually made it the forbidden fruit for we all know that we long for what we feel we cannot have.
5.) It’s not as big a deal as your allowing your mind to make it. Think about it this way, want to wear boxer shorts? Sure why not, a thong? I don’t know why but hey it’s your wedgie, you like wearing diapers, meh, why does anyone need to know that? And even if they found your diapers ide think you’d have more outrage at your privacy being violated than the other way around.

 

[JustAFloof]

I recall that many many years ago , try 30 years ago hahaha. But allow me to share a few thoughts with you.
1) The diaper experience is what you allow it to be.
2) You perhaps are worrying too much on how others view you than you view yourself.
3.) Denial is no way to live.
4.) Abstinence begets desire, desire begets fixation, and fixation begets shame. ( in short by abstaining and desiring and fixating you are more enmeshed than you would have been had you simply bought them tried them and decided if you enjoyed it.)
You actually made it the forbidden fruit for we all know that we long for what we feel we cannot have.
5.) It’s not as big a deal as your allowing your mind to make it. Think about it this way, want to wear boxer shorts? Sure why not, a thong? I don’t know why but hey it’s your wedgie, you like wearing diapers, meh, why does anyone need to know that? And even if they found your diapers ide think you’d have more outrage at your privacy being violated than the other way around.

I don't think it's that much of a problem for me. I don't feel the need at all to have them, they are just a nice extra thing for comfort. And even if I had all the privacy of the world (or wearing diapers was normalized) and all the diapers, I wouldn't wear 24/7. I'm not a super lover of diapers, I just think they are nice, so I would just wear sometimes while chilling at home.
Also, different countries have different cultures. Around here, invading someone's privacy a bit is not seen as a bad thing. I made the balance of how much I like diapers and how much anxiety it gives me (in my current situation), and they are not worth yet. But by next summer (or maybe even before) I plan to move somewhere else, probably in a flat alone or with someone else. But I live with someone else, I will make sure to have a good relation with the other based on respect and keeping as least secrets as possible, so they would probably know about me liking diapers and other things I also keep as secret.
But until then I just have to keep living as I have for the last six years. It's not a big problem for me, I have other things to worry about, there is no need to add more.

 

[armydipr]

I

I recall that many many years ago , try 30 years ago hahaha. But allow me to share a few thoughts with you.
1) The diaper experience is what you allow it to be.
2) You perhaps are worrying too much on how others view you than you view yourself.
3.) Denial is no way to live.
4.) Abstinence begets desire, desire begets fixation, and fixation begets shame. ( in short by abstaining and desiring and fixating you are more enmeshed than you would have been had you simply bought them tried them and decided if you enjoyed it.)
You actually made it the forbidden fruit for we all know that we long for what we feel we cannot have.
5.) It’s not as big a deal as your allowing your mind to make it. Think about it this way, want to wear boxer shorts? Sure why not, a thong? I don’t know why but hey it’s your wedgie, you like wearing diapers, meh, why does anyone need to know that? And even if they found your diapers ide think you’d have more outrage at your privacy being violated than the other way around.

im with you on the timeline.. had to go to stores risk getting caught by people i knew. No internet to order from back then

 

[Alittlereiri]

So true, the internet was a game changer for me!!