I am not sure where you live but build a bear is very special.
If you can get to one go when they are quite, not full of children.
Take your time choosing and try the one they have on display. You will eather just know the right one or you take some time over this.
Tell they that you are looking for a special friend don't worry you won't be the first adult buying a stuffie from them. They are train and will make it a special experience for you.
Once you have you now stuffie you not going to fill so alone at night.
And you can tell you're on stuffie how you are feeling and they won't tell any one else's
Really hope this helps you
Hugs