I've made it from moderated to Est. Contributor, I feel like a bog boy, but I ain't!
Aby, There's more to all of this than what meets the eye... I hope you'll see this as a positive learning experience and not resort to going down in flames... You've got to give yourself, and this life... a better chance... this is the only life to concern yourself with now. You can't actually say that you've done everything you could/can, when you haven't lived the entirety of this life... I don't think it's like missing a bus... to hell with this one, I'll catch the next... you've got to ride this one 'till the wheels fall off... I believe that I understand some of your anguish... and I believe that you have much more to see now... it's bigger than you alone... and you are not alone... even if lonely today!