Dylan Lewis's book Adult Baby is blowing my mind. Specially the part about repression and denial, I was in total denial my childhood was messed up, I mean its hard to understand... Its like I really didn't see myself when I looked back at my childhood, I easily ignored huge issues like murder and abuse when I sought help from professionals.
I just bought th book Adult Baby, on kindle, it looks pretty interesting, its written by some wierdo named Dylan... I tease, Dylan is a very cool person and I was inspired to buy his book due to all the stuff I have seen him write here at Adisc.
I woke up midstream last night wetting myself, I was confused and had to see if my diaper was wet, it was mildly wet at that point. Was a strange sensation, didn't feel like wetting really, just a sensation in my diaper, then I couldn't find my paci for a minute and then I went back to sleep. Woke up pretty soaked.
I think I need a lock on my bathroom door. I keep getting up in my sleep, and using the potty, I am cognitive enough to undo the tip tape, and put them back on properly, and go back to bed. It annoys me because I was wearing a thick diaper and there's no reason for me to get up, and it worries me because its sleep walking, and there are dangerous drugs in my bathroom.
Nurse at my urologist office said my diaper was cute and wanted to know where I get them, was the highlight of my day. Next week I find out what the test finds, I am guessing expanded bladder, prostate is ok.
I think a part of my insomnia is my little alter ego trying to stay up past bedtime, there is always a part of me that resists bedtime. When I denied this part of me, I found it took its anger out on other parts of my life and sleep was the biggest one it could attack.
Woke up wet, not sure if I woke up and wet and went back to bed or not, I wasn't as surprised to find myself in a wet diaper. I may be getting use to it again, but it had been a week since I had woke up wet
I just had a syncope or seizure episode, I am safe and ok, but a little upset, I really hope it wasn't a seizure, I have epilepsy and its well controlled but that doesn't always last forever, I am hoping it was just a syncope or fainting episode. I live alone and this could end my independence.
The adult bottle I ordered a month ago, finally arrived, I love it, extra long nipple, kinda like an adult paci. Gonna be perfect at bedtime. or naps. I think I might start taking naps again, try to relive some memories from childhood
remember depression can be lethal, reach out and talk to someone, you can always call the suicide prevention number and talk to someone 800-273-8255. Always remember you are not alone, no matter how dark it seems, or how alone you feel.