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View KryanAshford's Blog

Recent Entries

Feeling alone as an AB

by KryanAshford on 1 Week Ago at 08:03
I'm alone as an AB for miles. I know with me living in Texas there are do many of us, but I feel like the only one in my area. Even online I feel like most people tend to over look me. Since I'm off only once a week I don't have the time to try going to a munch, so that's not really an option
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Today

by KryanAshford on 3 Weeks Ago at 05:00
I'm feeling okay today, just a little impatient with everything. Just sitting back and saving money is killing my hope. I'm up and down emotionally over this last month. I can't spend money, because I need as much money as possible to get away from here. I might only need to last 9 months. I'll finishing paying off my car by that time, and I'll look for a cheaper insurance during that time. Buy myself my own phone plan and hopefully move to a new area that has help (therapist, career help, and just

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Quiet moment

by KryanAshford on 23-Apr-2017 at 22:52
There's no motion right now. Everything is stale and boring. I'm okay thanks to two day of diaper wearing. I invested in a pacifier to use in a more often. Since a pacifier can last longer than a pack of diapers, so hopefully it will help. Been looking for the two things I truly want. A job and help. Both I've been coming dry on. I went with a friend a town over and look for jobs, only to get the same results. I've been talking to my mother daily. She helps keep me from loosing it. On a worse note

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Losing my mind

by KryanAshford on 05-Apr-2017 at 21:40
I seriously losing it. I keep seeing myself just destroying everything in my dreams. People are on the ground buildings are on fire. The background looks like its rotten and dying. That was the last few weeks. Lately I'm seeing myself dead. I hate everything and just want to be left alone. I've had to be around morons and dumbass for the last month and only want them to shut up. Even the people I've been working with have been bugging the hell out of me. I haven't been able to sleep in the last

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Fighting an empty heart

by KryanAshford on 26-Mar-2017 at 20:23
I've been fighting my AB side lately. I've been wanting to find a cuddle partner or just a mommy. My heart can't take much more in the of rejection. I really have no idea if I could take another hit by this point. So in order to keep myself safe I've chosen to live alone. My history has taught me to just not hope. I've been mostly using pillows to fulfill my emotions, but it just feels empty.
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