I think I want to be a girl.

[KittyninjaW]

This has been kinda bugging me for a bit off and on, but I do think I want to transition. Honestly I am just tired of being a guy, and all of that. I do want to be a girl. There are just several problems with this. The main one is that I may feel like it now but may not later. Another one is the fact of my brother. And another one is the fact of discrimation and all that to trans people and the fact that not all people are like you guys, also I want a Dom that lives nearby but that is kind of hard too considering where I live. what are your thoughts on this?

 

[Seasonedcitizen]

Start with under dressing. Panties and hose under your pants. When you change into bulky winter clothes, add an un filled bra. That is your public life. At home you can dress up to your heart’s desire. If the desire wanes over time, pack everything up and put it away to see if was just a fascination or not.

 

[KittyninjaW]

Start with under dressing. Panties and hose under your pants. When you change into bulky winter clothes, add an un filled bra. That is your public life. At home you can dress up to your heart’s desire. If the desire wanes over time, pack everything up and put it away to see if was just a fascination or not.

I will have to at least try that. It's not like my brother is awake when I get dressed considering I get up really early in the morning.

 

[Peesalot]

Unlike you, I have no desire to be a woman or to transition. I just really enjoy wearing women's clothing and lingerie. Unless you advertise it, nobody will ever know you are wearing women's panties. I assume from your post you are young and still living with family. That might make wearing stockings a bit more problematic. I wear them almost all the time I'm wearing long slacks; but, I'm not involved in a lot of physical activity where my pant legs might creep up and expose my stockings above my male socks. Also, depending on the type of shirts you wear, you may be able to wear lace bralettes without anyone ever being the wiser. I wear loose fitting golf shirts which, it turns out, are perfect for hiding my lace bralettes. My wife and I went to the local UPS store, our granddaughter's home, a grocery store, and a restaurant this evening. I was in panties, stockings, and a lace bralette with silicone inserts. Because the weather is cool, I wore a pullover windbreaker over my shirt. Nobody had a clue including my wife other than I'm pretty sure she just figures that's how I dress most of the time. If I didn't have the windbreaker on I would not have had the silicone inserts inside the bralette. Anyway, wanting to wear women's garments is very doable; but, wanting to be a woman is a whole different thing. I caution you not to get the 2 confused. They may well go hand in hand; but, they don't have to as is my case.

 

[KittyninjaW]

Unlike you, I have no desire to be a woman or to transition. I just really enjoy wearing women's clothing and lingerie. Unless you advertise it, nobody will ever know you are wearing women's panties. I assume from your post you are young and still living with family. That might make wearing stockings a bit more problematic. I wear them almost all the time I'm wearing long slacks; but, I'm not involved in a lot of physical activity where my pant legs might creep up and expose my stockings above my male socks. Also, depending on the type of shirts you wear, you may be able to wear lace bralettes without anyone ever being the wiser. I wear loose fitting golf shirts which, it turns out, are perfect for hiding my lace bralettes. My wife and I went to the local UPS store, our granddaughter's home, a grocery store, and a restaurant this evening. I was in panties, stockings, and a lace bralette with silicone inserts. Because the weather is cool, I wore a pullover windbreaker over my shirt. Nobody had a clue including my wife other than I'm pretty sure she just figures that's how I dress most of the time. If I didn't have the windbreaker on I would not have had the silicone inserts inside the bralette. Anyway, wanting to wear women's garments is very doable; but, wanting to be a woman is a whole different thing. I caution you not to get the 2 confused. They may well go hand in hand; but, they don't have to as is my case.

I have been considering it off and on for literally years at this point. To be honest you can probably find old pages on this site where I was considering it and kind of denied it then. To this day, I am still not sure about it. I feel I am more sure than I was, but I am still unsure as of now and yes I am somewhat young and living with my family. However I am pushing 30 soon and I do want to move out. Also I will try not to get the two confused. Also, do you think I should see a gender phycologist?

 

[Ellie]

This has been kinda bugging me for a bit off and on, but I do think I want to transition. Honestly I am just tired of being a guy, and all of that. I do want to be a girl.

Then chances are, you already ARE a girl. That was a pretty big epiphany for me; it didn't dawn on me until my mom was looking at me a month or so ago, and casually remarked, "You know...you've kind of ALWAYS been my daughter." It totally made my heart swell up and she went into all of the different little signs. I was always more emotionally mature than my male peers, I was always a bit sensitive, I was always the one going shopping with mom and looking at clothes and the like. I was never really into typically male activities as a child; I preferred staying indoors and playing house (always electing to be the baby of course; not the husband like most boys would opt to be lol.)

My internal GENDER has always been female, and yours probably is as well. For the simple fact that you're even considering transitioning to make your body more closely match who you really are on the inside. Put bluntly, cisgender men just don't THINK like that LOL. Cisgender men don't typically question their gender identity, and the few who may, don't tend to question it for as many years as you have lol. It's a safe bet that you are almost definitely transgender, meaning, you do not identify as the sex you were assigned at birth; it does not necessarily mean that one wants to be the opposite gender, (although in your case, that does seem to be the case), but being transgender simply means that you don't identify with your assigned sex.

There are just several problems with this. The main one is that I may feel like it now but may not later.

Omg this was SUCH a major dilemma for me leading up to my decision to begin transitioning. What if I change my mind later??? I was truly terrified of what I was considering lol.

For me personally, my age played a big factor in deciding to transition, because HRT is safer and more effective the younger you start it. I first started awakening to the reality that I was transgender when I was 24 years old, so I already felt like I may be running out of time to make a final decision. I started seeing a Gender Therapist months later when I was 25 to explore my thoughts and feelings further with someone with more expertise, and most important, the resources and connections to help point me in the right direction to get started on hormones, if that's what I ended up deciding to do, (and it was lol.) I started hormones after three months of therapy; less than a month after my 26th birthday lol. I wished I'd have found out and started transitioning sooner, but fortunately it seems my body is still young enough that it's taken to HRT very well; things have been going super smoothly since I first started 9 months ago; if I had decided to wait until later in life, I might not have been so lucky, although it's important to note that age should NOT be seen as an obstacle or prevention to transitioning, because the simple fact of the matter is, you don't know how you're personal body will react to HRT. As the saying goes in the trans community "YMMV" (Your Mileage May Vary), and if you truly can't see yourself being happy as a man, I feel you owe it to yourself to at least try HRT for a while and see how you feel; (I've been doing fairly regular little "reality checks" in this regard to see if my position has changed at all, and so far I haven't even seriously considered stopping HRT; it still feels right.

Aside from the age factor, how else did I overcome the aforementioned obstacle of doubt regarding the possibility of changing my mind later in life?

I had done a TON of introspective research, and learned everything I could about transitioning, and DE-TRANSITIONING. De-Transition DOES happen; some individuals actually DO end up changing their minds later on, and that's okay. It's not the end of the world! At the same time though, de-transitioning is SUPER rare. What percentage of transgender individuals end up transitioning, and then de-transition later on?

8% of transitioned individuals de-transition, in total lol.

64% of THAT 8% reported de-transitioning because of pressure from family and friends, discrimination, and social stigmas; NOT because they weren't trans.

Only 0.4 Percent, (ZERO POINT FOUR PERCENT lmao), of the 8% end up de-transitioning because they realized they aren't actually transgender.

...By contrast, the regret rate for LASIK EYE SURGERY is a whopping 1.4% to 2.3% compared to the 0.4% regret rate for gender transition lmao.

...That means out of all the thousands of trans individuals who literally had their entire anatomy rearranged...only zero point four percent of them ended up saying afterwards, "Meh, I wouldn't do it again!" LOL

De-transitioning isn't NEARLY as common as certain media outlets like to make it out to be lmao.

Fear not; if you end up deciding to go through with going on hormones, statistically speaking, you WON'T end up changing your mind later lol. The doubts and fears you're having are totally normal and healthy; this IS a huge decision, you SHOULD consider it very carefully lol. After all the research, consideration and self-discovery, you will almost definitely be confident and sure of yourself when you go in for your first prescription of hormones.

 

[Ellie]

Another one is the fact of my brother.

Why do you see your brother as an obstacle to your transition?

And another one is the fact of discrimation and all that to trans people and the fact that not all people are like you guys

Personally, this wasn't a huge obstacle for me to hurdle because I have years of martial arts training, emergency response training, military training, and wilderness survival training. You could literally drop me off anywhere on the planet butt-ass naked, and I would SURVIVE lmao. I'm simply not afraid of bigots. I'm afraid of what I might do to them if they tried to physically attack me lol.

Studying martial arts and combat shooting, then purchasing and carrying a handgun after learning how to use it properly, will do WONDERS for your self-esteem and confidence. It also helps to make sure you stand up straight; chin held high, chest outwards, shoulders back. Not only is this a more stereotypical feminine posture, but it actually sends signals to your brain which increases your confidence and courage levels, in addition to helping you NOT look like a good potential victim to ne'er-do-wells the world over!

Confidence, charisma, debating tutorials on YouTube can also help you navigate contentions and confrontations with grace and ease, putting you on top, and the haters at the bottom, where they belong! LOL

also I want a Dom that lives nearby but that is kind of hard too considering where I live.

Whereabouts are ya?

 

[KittyninjaW]

Why do you see your brother as an obstacle to your transition?

My Evil Brother is a A-hole and doesn't like women that much due to a lot of personal stuff, that admittingly I went through too.

Personally, this wasn't a huge obstacle for me to hurdle because I have years of martial arts training, emergency response training, military training, and wilderness survival training. You could literally drop me off anywhere on the planet butt-ass naked, and I would SURVIVE lmao. I'm simply not afraid of bigots. I'm afraid of what I might do to them if they tried to physically attack me lol.

Studying martial arts and combat shooting, then purchasing and carrying a handgun after learning how to use it properly, will do WONDERS for your self-esteem and confidence. It also helps to make sure you stand up straight; chin held high, chest outwards, shoulders back. Not only is this a more stereotypical feminine posture, but it actually sends signals to your brain which increases your confidence and courage levels, in addition to helping you NOT look like a good potential victim to ne'er-do-wells the world over!

Confidence, charisma, debating tutorials on YouTube can also help you navigate contentions and confrontations with grace and ease, putting you on top, and the haters at the bottom, where they belong! LOL

I love this. This Is Awesome!

Whereabouts are ya?

I am in Missouri U.S.A., in a region called the Ozarks.

 

[KittyninjaW]

Then chances are, you already ARE a girl. That was a pretty big epiphany for me; it didn't dawn on me until my mom was looking at me a month or so ago, and casually remarked, "You know...you've kind of ALWAYS been my daughter." It totally made my heart swell up and she went into all of the different little signs. I was always more emotionally mature than my male peers, I was always a bit sensitive, I was always the one going shopping with mom and looking at clothes and the like. I was never really into typically male activities as a child; I preferred staying indoors and playing house (always electing to be the baby of course; not the husband like most boys would opt to be lol.)

I liked boy stuff as well, but I always was jealous of girls stuff.

My internal GENDER has always been female, and yours probably is as well. For the simple fact that you're even considering transitioning to make your body more closely match who you really are on the inside. Put bluntly, cisgender men just don't THINK like that LOL. Cisgender men don't typically question their gender identity, and the few who may, don't tend to question it for as many years as you have lol. It's a safe bet that you are almost definitely transgender, meaning, you do not identify as the sex you were assigned at birth; it does not necessarily mean that one wants to be the opposite gender, (although in your case, that does seem to be the case), but being transgender simply means that you don't identify with your assigned sex.

Thanks!

Omg this was SUCH a major dilemma for me leading up to my decision to begin transitioning. What if I change my mind later??? I was truly terrified of what I was considering lol.

For me personally, my age played a big factor in deciding to transition, because HRT is safer and more effective the younger you start it. I first started awakening to the reality that I was transgender when I was 24 years old, so I already felt like I may be running out of time to make a final decision. I started seeing a Gender Therapist months later when I was 25 to explore my thoughts and feelings further with someone with more expertise, and most important, the resources and connections to help point me in the right direction to get started on hormones, if that's what I ended up deciding to do, (and it was lol.) I started hormones after three months of therapy; less than a month after my 26th birthday lol. I wished I'd have found out and started transitioning sooner, but fortunately it seems my body is still young enough that it's taken to HRT very well; things have been going super smoothly since I first started 9 months ago; if I had decided to wait until later in life, I might not have been so lucky, although it's important to note that age should NOT be seen as an obstacle or prevention to transitioning, because the simple fact of the matter is, you don't know how you're personal body will react to HRT. As the saying goes in the trans community "YMMV" (Your Mileage May Vary), and if you truly can't see yourself being happy as a man, I feel you owe it to yourself to at least try HRT for a while and see how you feel; (I've been doing fairly regular little "reality checks" in this regard to see if my position has changed at all, and so far I haven't even seriously considered stopping HRT; it still feels right.

Aside from the age factor, how else did I overcome the aforementioned obstacle of doubt regarding the possibility of changing my mind later in life?

I had done a TON of introspective research, and learned everything I could about transitioning, and DE-TRANSITIONING. De-Transition DOES happen; some individuals actually DO end up changing their minds later on, and that's okay. It's not the end of the world! At the same time though, de-transitioning is SUPER rare. What percentage of transgender individuals end up transitioning, and then de-transition later on?

8% of transitioned individuals de-transition, in total lol.

64% of THAT 8% reported de-transitioning because of pressure from family and friends, discrimination, and social stigmas; NOT because they weren't trans.

Only 0.4 Percent, (ZERO POINT FOUR PERCENT lmao), of the 8% end up de-transitioning because they realized they aren't actually transgender.

...By contrast, the regret rate for LASIK EYE SURGERY is a whopping 1.4% to 2.3% compared to the 0.4% regret rate for gender transition lmao.

...That means out of all the thousands of trans individuals who literally had their entire anatomy rearranged...only zero point four percent of them ended up saying afterwards, "Meh, I wouldn't do it again!" LOL

De-transitioning isn't NEARLY as common as certain media outlets like to make it out to be lmao.

Fear not; if you end up deciding to go through with going on hormones, statistically speaking, you WON'T end up changing your mind later lol. The doubts and fears you're having are totally normal and healthy; this IS a huge decision, you SHOULD consider it very carefully lol. After all the research, consideration and self-discovery, you will almost definitely be confident and sure of yourself when you go in for your first prescription of hormones.

O.K. To be honest, this really made me smile.

 

[Ellie]

My Evil Brother is a A-hole and doesn't like women that much due to a lot of personal stuff, that admittingly I went through too.

Then you shouldn't see him as an obstacle to your pursuit of happiness and authenticity!

Only if he's physically and genuinely dangerous as the result of his bigotry, (or any other reason, for that matter LOL) should you consider trying to have him or yourself removed from the home-situation BEFORE transitioning. If he's just a bit of an asshole, he doesn't pose an actual THREAT to your journey. Be confident, be brave, and don't think about what others might think, (yeah I know; way easier said than done LOL). ...But I suspect, despite his flaws, he does genuinely care about you and love you. He's your brother...That won't change just because you become his sister. In time, I'm confident he'll learn to accept you the way you are, and perhaps even understand you better. My brother and sister and father are all drug-addled alcoholic assholes. My mom and I left them thousands of miles away in the arctic. They have no idea I'm transitioning, but I plan on re-visiting the village where I grew up and totally surprise them just to see their reactions; I don'teven care if it'sa BAD reaction. It would be like, the ultimate practical joke in my mind LOL. "...That's right Dad! I KILLED YOUR SON! Mwahahaha!"

...I have a really twisted sense of humor lmao...and I REALLY hate my dad lol.

I am in Missouri U.S.A., in a region called the Ozarks.

You may try looking around on Fetlife for local groups and events in your geographical region; I've had quite a bit of luck finding mom and daddy times here in Montana using that method lol. ...Recently broke up with my ex-Daddy though because he told me, TOTALLY OUTTA THE BLUE, that the reason he couldn't take me Trick or Treating this year was because he was TAKING HIS OWN KIDS Trick or Treating this year...Kids that I had no idea even EXISTED, so now the manipulative, lying asshole is DEAD TO ME! LOL

...I'm a Little...I'm needy and clingy and jealous lmao.

 

[Ellie]

I liked boy stuff as well, but I always was jealous of girls stuff.

I pretended to like boy stuff for the sake of appearances in front of my peers whom I realized early on were nothing like me LOL. (only some of which I genuinely enjoyed, such as comic books and video games, but MILLIONS of cisgender girls are ALSO nerdy fangirls into comics and video games lol; it's not necessarily just a "boy" thing. XD )

 

[KittyninjaW]

I pretended to like boy stuff for the sake of appearances in front of my peers whom I realized early on were nothing like me LOL. (only some of which I genuinely enjoyed, such as comic books and video games, but MILLIONS of cisgender girls are ALSO nerdy fangirls into comics and video games lol; it's not necessarily just a "boy" thing. XD )

That is very true, I love that stuff, I also love certain anime designed at boys as well. Honestly, I did like a lot of girls stuff like barbies and stuff like that, but I couldn't get into a lot of girly tv shows, except for the powerpuff girls and a lot of disney films.

 

[KittyninjaW]

That is very true, I love that stuff, I also love certain anime designed at boys as well. Honestly, I did like a lot of girls stuff like barbies and stuff like that, but I couldn't get into a lot of girly tv shows, except for the powerpuff girls and a lot of disney films.

And Kim Possible. Can't forget about that.

 

[Ellie]

And Kim Possible. Can't forget about that.

Oh gawd I LOVED Kim Possible, she was totally one of my heroes growing up LOL. XD

 

[Ellie]

I liked watching That's So Raven, Powerpuff Girls, Hannah Montana, (SUPER loved that she had a dual identity; I could totally relate lol), Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Strange Days at Blake Holsey High as well. XD

 

[NinaAlex]

This has been kinda bugging me for a bit off and on, but I do think I want to transition. Honestly I am just tired of being a guy, and all of that. I do want to be a girl.

I've been there not too long ago. For me, I was at a point where I've exhausted all other avenues of reducing my depression, and together with a problem that greatly increased dysphoria, confronting this was my only choice at that point.
For me, it wasn't much of a choice, once I realized what's up. Either I do something (i.e. transition) or I won't make it for long. I was heading strait towards deep depression, and I've been there, years ago, after my first discovery that I'm trans, and subsequent burying of that discovery. I nearly didn't survive that time several times.
I really didn't have much to lose, so I decided to take the plunge into the unknown, and the only regret I have, is not doing this earlier.

There are just several problems with this. The main one is that I may feel like it now but may not later.

From other things you write, this is a persistent feeling for years. It is extremely unlikely that it would persist for that long, if it wasn't real.
Yes, some people get doubts once their dysphoria goes away, as they transition. This is often because they have made that dysphoria part of their identity, or see it as a validating sign that they are trans. It's normal for it to go away most of the time, once you transition.
Also, starting to transition isn't a permanent decision, most decisions in early transition are still very reversible, and even starting hormone replacement therapy won't have permanent effects until you're about half a year in.
So if you really realize that you've made a mistake, you still have a lot of time to realize it. Also, less than ⅓ of a percent of people who start hormone therapy, and keep at it for
more than a few months, will detransition, because they realize they made a mistake.

Another one is the fact of my brother.

I don't know your brother.
Unfortunately losing family is common among trans folk.
When a family member decides to be transphobic, or worse to try and convert you back to your old gender, breaking contact can be the only choice.
However, that said, many people I've been afraid to tell, because I expected them to reject me, have wholeheartedly accepted me. While my parents, who I didn't worry about, pretend they accept me, while embracing every single transphobic talking point. I'd be the one exception to them, while they'd talk shit, and spread propaganda about the trans-community.

And another one is the fact of discrimation and all that to trans people and the fact that not all people are like you guys,

Discrimination can be a problem yes. It depends a lot on where you live though.
The biggest discrimination I face has been from official places, like government offices.
I don't face much real discrimination in every day life, but I live in a fairly leftist city and work for a very accepting company.

 

[NinaAlex]

because HRT is safer and more effective the younger you start it

While that is true in a way, modern HRT is generally very safe, and if modern methods are used, and you don't get an endo who insists on way too low levels, because of data that is very outdated, one can get very good results later in life as well.
I was 37 when I started to transition. I am now 39 years old.
I pass, consistently, and without any effort, even when my voice slips back down into my more androgynous mode that feels more natural, people don't think twice about it.
Everyone I've told that I'm trans in the last year, was very surprised, and this includes doctors.

Yes there was some luck involved, but I know several other people who transitioned later in life, who got phenomenal results.

I liked boy stuff as well, but I always was jealous of girls stuff.

I liked some things more typically associated with boys, but there is no reason those should be gendered.
Just because I like science and computers, doesn't mean I'm not a girl.
I was never interested in most sports, or most group activities boys do, because it just felt so wrong in those groups.

I was punished in school for even the slightest glimpse of femininity that I let through, so I learned not to. I learned not to even try out anything that could give those bullies ammunition. So a lot of my interests are either neutral, or typically associated with males. Doesn't make me any less of a girl though.

 

[Peesalot]

I have been considering it off and on for literally years at this point. To be honest you can probably find old pages on this site where I was considering it and kind of denied it then. To this day, I am still not sure about it. I feel I am more sure than I was, but I am still unsure as of now and yes I am somewhat young and living with my family. However I am pushing 30 soon and I do want to move out. Also I will try not to get the two confused. Also, do you think I should see a gender phycologist?

Well, you're not as young as I thought. Having never considered gender reassignment, I'm the last person to take advice from regarding how to go about it. That said, I should think seeing a gender psychologist/counselor would make sense. Often times it takes unbiased third party input to put things in perspective. My concern, if it were me, is the I am still not sure about it statement you make. I'd want to be 99.99% sure before I started down the road of transitioning. However, if you want to do the basics of transitioning (meaning dressing in traditional women's clothing, changing hair styles, "primping" as many women do, etc.) without starting HRT then any reservations you may have that result in changing your mind won't require any drastic reversals. I wish you well.

 

[NinaAlex]

Having never considered gender reassignment

Gender is not reassigned. It was wrongfully assigned at birth, and then we usually have to fight to get it corrected.
Transition isn't just one path you can take, it is a very individual process, and one does not have to end up with one of the binary genders.
While some people use the letters GRS to mean 'gender reassignment surgery', I don't like that term at all, my gender was always more female than anything else, and the surgery has nothing to do with my gender, and only adjusts the body to align more with what the brain expects it to be.
I mostly prefer the term 'Genital Reconstruction Surgery', because they reconstruct my genitals to appear how they should have been, according to my brains expectations.

My concern, if it were me, is the I am still not sure about it statement you make. I'd want to be 99.99% sure before I started down the road of transitioning.

That's the thing, many people can't really be sure, until they start on the journey. I was nowhere near 99% (or even 99.99%) sure, when I started. All I knew for sure, was that I never liked being a dude, and that I hated my first puberty and what it did to me. I only knew the direction I needed to go towards, away from male. As I started to transition, I started to slowly become more and more sure that it was the right direction, because I started feeling better, and my emotions, that I had locked away for about 25y, started to come back. As I continued transition, my working theory changed from non-binary / agender, to trans woman, and had now mostly solidified on non-binary trans woman.

In transition, most measures are not irreversible, only surgery is truly irreversible. HRTs permanent effects can be reversed, through surgery, but that again closes the door.
But a lot of things that are very much part of transition are things one can try out. Clothing is only a very small part of that. It's more about being true to myself, and letting that truth shine into the world, for me.

 

[AtPeace]

You should seriously reconsider.