Kaich said:
Oh dear. But they ARE diapers. You DO have a problem. Don't you?
I understand we are in the Diaper Talk forum, not the Incontinence Forum, but this comes across very poorly. Coming from someone who is just incontinent, nothing more, that response you tossed aside made perfect sense to me. Incontinence sucks. Its messy, time consuming, stigmatized, embarrassing at times, and despite the fact that it makes no sense, it gives people the sense that something is somehow wrong with you. It interferes with relationships, your sex life... everything. I wouldn't wish true incontinence on anybody, ever. Its a rough life. This is all stuff people on this site have said before, but I think its important to reiterate. Because...
That being said, words are never just words. Its not like "Diapers is just a word, get over it" works for everyone. I've made it a point to try and destigmatize the word in my life so that if it comes up with people, its doesn't hurt to hear. Though I don't revel in the word because that is both not something I want, and something people would find extremely strange or self absorbed, or both. You clearly have owned the word for a long time as well. But not everybody is at or will reach that point, and for people truly
suffering from IC, the word carries meaning that really hurts. For many people struggling with long term IC, it carries a connotation of helplessness, infantilism, feebleness, invalid-ness, less-than-fully-human-ness. It can be painful to hear for many, and the sting, if you're not already into diapers, is always kind of in the back of your mind.
That's one reason why "diaper" is such a hard word for so many. Its useful. Its convenient, evocative, descriptive, clear, and to the point. But it also comes with all of these other "riders". Extra implicit meanings that can feel degrading. Struggles with using the word have nothing to do with America being dominantly Evangelical or what have you, which itself is barely even true, if at all. If a person struggles to use the word diaper, its often because they are struggling to come to terms with what it says about them.
Again, I understand that this is not the Incontinence Forum, but the post you responded to specifically mentioned incontinence which necessitated 24/7 wearing.
Briefs or pads, I dislike caling them diapers I’m 24/7 due to I/c
There are real people out there who struggle with IC problems, who do not want it, who come here specifically looking for support and a community that understands them. Finding active incontinence support groups is surprisingly difficult online. Then they wind up on other parts of the site in an attempt to feel like the diapers they are stuck with for whatever reason can or should be normalized, or just because they feel their question/discussion topic better fits the Diaper Talk Forum than anywhere else. We are not delicate little flowers whose emotional needs should be protected at all costs, but we do read and respond to these types of posts as well. I myself ended up here because I saw the post and it sounded like someone might be struggling with feelings that wearing diapers is degrading, and can't bring themselves to use the term as a result. What I'm trying to say is, it might be a good exercise to consider that a perspective beyond your own, which to be clear I can understand as well, could be legitimate and valuable. Worth respecting rather than flippantly tossing aside and... insinuating that the perspective you don't share is somehow a problem.
