Any highly sensitive and emotional people that struggle with adulting?

[LeWolfie]

Ok, this year has been pretty awfully depressing for me.

Not only is there a nasty world wide disease to worry about, but I have been struggling for many years with transitioning to full time employment some where. A large part of the issue lies with the fact that I am a very sensitive person by nature and tend to wear my heart on my sleeve. I get startled easily by things and can get overwhelmed to the point of a panic attack. I even quit a respectable office job working with client 401-k and stock portfolios because I had a panic attack and was crying my eyes out right there in front of my co-workers which was massively embarrassing for me. That next day I resigned my position because I was carrying that anxiety and worry from the office into my living space.

Ever since then, which was about two years ago, I have struggled to find sustainable employment to cover basic living expenses. I freelanced as an animation artist last year, but I barely made enough to cover my living expenses. I only made 300 dollars this year and been living off the little savings I have. The stimulus checks are helpful, but they are not a proper solution to my problem and act more as a band-aid to buy more time.

I'm a man of 27 and I have a 4 year degree that acquired back in May of 2016. My resume is all over the place with some work lasting a few months to a year with some varying employment gaps. I used to live with my girlfriend of 5 years but we broke up and I was forced to move into my sister's home which has only caused me more frustration and grief as I pay her rent from my savings. I really want to see myself move out on my own, but I simply am too poor and nearly nearly broke for cash.

Currently, I'm trying to move forward again and focus on creating a better life for myself. It's just been incredibly difficult for me to build up a means of income that will give me the kind of lifestyle I want to live. Not to mention that I feel extremely lost after the break up with my ex who tolerated my abdl side. There are moments where I fear that I've missed out on the things I want to experience most in life. Is there any good advice for someone like me with the situation that I am in?

TLDR- After graduating college 3.5 years ago my life is very depressing and lonely. Struggling to find steady employment and adult due to being highly sensative and emotional 27 year old man. Resume is spotty and still grieving a break-up from a woman of 5 years. I want to move out and have my own space but I'm poor and near broke. Any good advice for someone like me with the situation that I am in?

 

[Peepeegirl]

I think I am sensitive because my emotional is like a child

 

[Aby]

I lock up my emotions with my little side so I can "Adult" its not healthy though, I went without many of my emotions for a good 2 years while I denied myself little space or diapers and focused on being a good adult. I little me side is very emotional snd so can my adult side, but the little side is where I am vulnerable.
I struggle with being an adult, emotionally, but I have a ton of issues, messed up childhood, possibly was on the autistic spectrum, but very high functioning, labeled gifted at one point. Got pretty far as an adult but was always ABDL. I had a brain injury a few years ago that kinda wrecked my life and I am still learning to live again, I got brain damage and it messes up my ability to control my emotions.
I do much better than I have in the past, I lost most of my friends during my recovery. I still have a hard time talking about it, and at times its like all I will talk about.
its getting better all the time

 

[Kittyinpink]

I am deeply sensitive . But I can't help . I'm living in England and you guys are American I think? So sorry for your pain and I just wanted to send you my absolute love and bestest wishes! All I can say is our planet is beautiful . Many times when I feel bad I simply look at this amazing world we all live in
. Sending my best wishes to you all..

 

[dogboy]

Part of the definition of Borderline Personality disorder is having over active emotions, oftentimes not appropriate to the situation. I suffer from this to some degree. My psychologist has gotten used to giving me the box of Kleenex when I'm in therapy with him.....sigh.

 

[Kittyinpink]

I don't know what borderline personality disorder is . I'm genuinely moved by your emotional pain. Best wishes dealing with it.

 

[LittlePrince]

Sounds like you're going through a rough time, I'm sorry to hear that, but things are gonna get better.

Just remember to go easy on yourself. It's been a very tough year for everybody. Also the stuff with the job, and the living situation - it's not your fault. Life isn't working out for a lot of people right now - it's been this way for a long time. The system isn't set up to work.

I've always been more sensitive, I tear up easy too. I jump a mile when I'm startled. I become emotional.
As a guy, it can be a little more upsetting. Society tells us to be strong and silent.

But know you are more than that.

Our sensitivity, our vulnerability - that is not a weakness.
To be in tune with the subtleties of the world is a gift.
To be kind of heart - that is a gift.

It took a long time for me to finally see and acknowledge the differences that came with having a little self. It means you are open and trusting, like a child. You see the world anew, as a child does.

You operate differently in the world, so allow yourself the space and acceptance to be different.
To be your true self.

You are an eternal child - not a boring, cynical adult.

And that is an incredibly beautiful, and powerful thing to be.

So own it.

There's still time to come to terms with your little self, and manage your more sensitive side.
I'm only beginning to see the depths of what it means to truly have that little self you carry with you in your heart.

We're a sensitive sort ~ and we have to recognize that we take the dual perspective of a child wherever we go. And that can mean feeling the hurt of the child, who is experiencing the cruelty of adults.

So protect that child, and don't let the world step on you.
Because when it does, it's stepping on Big and Little you.

You have to take care of yourself because you still are that kid.

So keep your little self safe - let little you know things are gonna be okay, and let that little come out to play when you can.
It's healthy, and you need it.

 

[ShippoFox]

Definitely me. I just can't. I don't think I have borderline personality disorder, but I think there are multiple other things I might have (other than obvious gender struggles). I wouldn't officially know though. I don't have any way of finding out for sure because of stigmas and the almighty divine dollar that controls human existence

 

[depends4me]

There are moments where I fear that I've missed out on the things I want to experience most in life. Is there any good advice for someone like me with the situation that I am in?

You're 27. There's still plenty of time. I am nearly twice your age and still deal with these emotions. But a difference between us is that I've learned to not get stuck on things I don't have, but enjoy what I do have while still trying to move forward. My resume is all over the place, too, with periods of unemployment, but I've been working long enough to take the position that any employer who can't see some worth in me is getting bogged down on numbers and "hiring by spreadsheet" vs. hiring the whole person. I smile, say "thank you", and simply don't apply with that company ever again. Don't expect to get everything you want from your next job, as that almost certainly won't happen, but look at it as having an income again, learning some new skills, and maybe brushing up on your social skills. Little steps.

BTW, I was emotional as a kid and into my teens. I chalk it up to being the oldest child and not immediately having siblings to socialize me, and also being coddled a bit. I mostly grew out of it in my teens, and today am more excitable than emotional, lol. Unless there's an underlying condition (there is medication for panic attacks), I think life can fix much of this in time. Don't be so hard on yourself.

BTW #2, have you looked into contract work? If you're just getting back in the workforce, the barrier to entry will be somewhat lower.

 

[LeWolfie]

Part of the definition of Borderline Personality disorder is having over active emotions, oftentimes not appropriate to the situation. I suffer from this to some degree. My psychologist has gotten used to giving me the box of Kleenex when I'm in therapy with him.....sigh.

I feel you on that. I don't know if I have any borderline personality disorder, but my psychologist expects me to be crying when I come in with a very depressed mood.

 

[LeWolfie]

You're 27. There's still plenty of time. I am nearly twice your age and still deal with these emotions. But a difference between us is that I've learned to not get stuck on things I don't have, but enjoy what I do have while still trying to move forward. My resume is all over the place, too, with periods of unemployment, but I've been working long enough to take the position that any employer who can't see some worth in me is getting bogged down on numbers and "hiring by spreadsheet" vs. hiring the whole person. I smile, say "thank you", and simply don't apply with that company ever again. Don't expect to get everything you want from your next job, as that almost certainly won't happen, but look at it as having an income again, learning some new skills, and maybe brushing up on your social skills. Little steps.

BTW, I was emotional as a kid and into my teens. I chalk it up to being the oldest child and not immediately having siblings to socialize me, and also being coddled a bit. I mostly grew out of it in my teens, and today am more excitable than emotional, lol. Unless there's an underlying condition (there is medication for panic attacks), I think life can fix much of this in time. Don't be so hard on yourself.

BTW #2, have you looked into contract work? If you're just getting back in the workforce, the barrier to entry will be somewhat lower.

Thanks for the advice and supportive words. I do appreciate the insight.

 

[LeWolfie]

Sounds like you're going through a rough time, I'm sorry to hear that, but things are gonna get better.
...
You have to take care of yourself because you still are that kid.

So keep your little self safe - let little you know things are gonna be okay, and let that little come out to play when you can.
It's healthy, and you need it.

Thanks for the lovely pep-talk. I'm defiantly starting to understand that I need to focus on taking better care of myself and take more responsibility in my well being and pursuit of happiness.

You take good care of yourself as well!

 

[Left]

Definitely me. I just can't. I don't think I have borderline personality disorder, but I think there are multiple other things I might have (other than obvious gender struggles). I wouldn't officially know though. I don't have any way of finding out for sure because of stigmas and the almighty divine dollar that controls human existence

I like that kitty Icon I wanna use it more
I got a whole lot of issues with getting the almighty divine dollar too and that seems to be the thing you gotta be good at to excel. I had a pizza delivery job for a bit though it was tough for me but it did prove that I CAN do it so I am hoping to get stronger than thor and be able to do simple job tasks like that with great ease its a slow process that is going badly because I want to feel joy by playing video games not walking in circles!
Luckily enough after you can get the almighty dollar from there the whole thing can be boiled down to be simple enough to not overwhelm my mind getting a room in someones house gosh I wish I could skip getting the car but that is a big part of it too.

 

[ShippoFox]

I can't even drive, i get anxious when i'm just in the car with someone trying to parallel park! and that's only one small aspect of driving. I am also very clumsy... I drop things constantly (though i am sometimes fast enough to catch what i drop before it falls). I never had a real job. I applied for a few, but I was very relieved to not be interviewed. also, my social skills are bad. I am struggling with what to say to someone at the moment, after a semi-awkward situation was created yesterday, and I feel like I've been hiding in my room like a hermit....

...and.... that's only a small list of things

 

[lilgiggleberry]

That's definitely me too!

I consider myself very very lucky to qualify for disability income because there is no way I could do an adult job. Growing up into an adult is just never going to happen for me. Right now I have a partner who loves and accepts that part of me all the same, but I have trouble remembering that and need reassurance all the time.
One of the nice things about being a child forever is that I am a fast learner and always growing my skills. So I am learning to communicate better.

Right now I have college classes and so I can still "go to school". Once I develop better art skills, I think I'll find ways to sell my drawings online at a pace that's comfortable for me.