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  1. The diary of a madman.

    So, I'm curious if this happens to everyone: That feeling you get when you lock eyes with someone and I don't know what you'd call it, a spark, a connection happens. It always happens on accident. It doesn't happen frequently, but probably once a month or so, I'll just randomly catch someone's eyes looking at me and look right back. I just feel something between us. Is it imaginary? Am I just such a hideous creature that they are captivated by my grotesqueness? I don't know. Am I doing the right ...
  2. Inexplicable, childish urges.

    They come in waves, usually when I'm in the state I am in now, utter exhaustion. I fight it but it hits me along with the wave of dizziness and a hit of strange stomach sickness:

    The overwhelming desire to drop everything and wet myself.

    I don't know where it comes from but the intensity of this urge pushes everything out of my head--indeed, out of my body. If I am particularly exhausted, I might catch myself dozing off and coming this close to a wetting.
    Tags: diary
  3. Sometimes things just work out.

    I started today feeling pretty awful. My brother came by last night and hung out for a while. He had this idea that he wants to do a duet of Christmas songs for the family. He plays violin, I play bass/guitar. I said sure, it sounds like a lot of fun to me. We started working on that project and cracked open a bottle of the old Sailor Jerry rum. I drank quite a bit more than I usually do if I'm in a drinking mood. Usually I keep to a two drink limit. Three drinks if it's going to be a long drinking ...
  4. Autism, Cerebral Palsy, and being an "Adult Baby"...#568

    At this time of year I am not spared from experiencing Holiday SEason Depression.
    While she was alive, I was always on her "Manure List".
    A decade after her passing, I still feel like I am on the Manure List.
    I never measured up to her expectations.
    She never had anything nice to say to me, even after I became an adult.
    Everything I ever did she found fault with.
    I could never once do anything right for her.
    I apologize.
    Just a day of sinking ...
  5. The Doze Doozy

    I have a frequent issue when I nap, one that I noticed a few years back, around the same time I got diaper curious for the first time: I leak when I nap.

    I've probably done it for a long time, but never actually noticed it. I can remember several times waking up from a nap and noticing that I was just cold and damp down there, but (fuck me, I was in denial) I thought it was nothing. Well, last night I could not sleep, and for some reason I just did not feel confident at all in my ... - the Adult Baby / Diaper Lover / Incontinence Support Community. is designed to be viewed in Firefox, with a resolution of at least 1280 x 1024.