Infantilism

From ADISC Answers Wiki

Introduction

“What is infantilism?”

Friends, parents, and siblings who associate with infantilists are almost always plagued by a single, burning question: What in the world is “infantilism”? The unfortunate reality is that there is no reply to this question which can sum up all of the complex attributes that infantilism entails, for generally speaking, infantilism is a widely used catch-all term for its many forms. Generalized statements can be made, but they are often very broad, non-descriptive, and sometimes even incorrect. Everybody has their own individual feelings on the topic, and each represents only one look at each of infantilism’s many facets.

Volumes of books could be written on the subject, and would still be incomplete. The best way to understand this is to think of infantilism like a poem. A poem can be broken down into each of its words, even letters, and have each individual meaning dissected and put together. But these parts do not define a poem. A poem is defined by the way the words are arranged, the mood, and the overall meaning expressed by these. Simply put: in the case of poetry, and in the case of infantilism, the end product is far more complex than the sum of its parts.

The Basic Understanding and Overview

In the basic sense, infantilism can be defined as a set of urges, ideas, desires, and pleasures that are all centered on the theme of diapers, babyhood, helplessness, and any other aspect you can associate with these. It is regarded by some as a sexual fetish. To others, it is completely asexual and has more to do with emotional attachment and comfort. In both cases, the theme remains a constant, but can have several variations. In addition to those individual variations, infantilism can occur in tandem with other interests. All of these will be explained in the following sections, but here, we can see a basic overview of each of them.

The first form that infantilism can take is simply that of infantilism by itself. Often times, an infantilist will find comfort in diapers, pacifiers, bottles, or any assortment of infantile objects. Many enjoy role playing with a maternal or paternal figure (“mommy” or “daddy”). Some consider it sexual, while others do not. Infantilists are commonly called adult babies (AB’s) or teen babies (TB’s), for those who discover themselves before the age of 20. This is infantilism in its purest form. There are many different motives behind it, none of which are seen in everybody. This is one of the many reasons it is so hard to describe.

The next form it can take is when it combined with a form of fetishism (though, it is incorrect to say that everybody in this category has a fetish). This involves the libidinous/sexual enjoyment of diapers. (Though some enjoy them only sensually/emotionally.) Those who fit into this category are called diaper lovers (DL’s). Diaper fetishes can be the cause of this set of desires, but because so many adult babies are simultaneously diaper lovers, it is difficult to classify it as a fetish; the main reason being that a fetish focuses on an object or feeling, but the drives behind diaper lovers and adult babies are so different. Claiming that it is focused purely on one object or feeling would be oxymoronic, as both are different.

The third group is a combination of infantilists who incorporate elements from other interests into it. The two most common are sissy babies, infantilists who also engage in transvestism/cross dressing, and babyfurs, infantilists who are also furries. This group is not as easy to explain as it looks. The combination of interests is again, analogous to the unique structure of a poem. It cannot simply be considered as transvestism or furry fandom added to infantilism. Unique properties may apply within each of those groups.

A Closer Look

Adult Babies

The drives behind adult baby and teen baby-oriented behavior are not well understood. This tends to be hotly debated among psychologists who deal in sexology and especially among those who specialize in infantilism. However, one of the less debated topics concerning infantile interests are the aspects and behaviors it entails. There are many many behaviors unique to the individuals who perform them, but some are common among most infantilists.

Here are some common behaviors engaged in by a lot of adult babies and teen babies:

• Diaper Wearing – By far, this is the most common practice among adult babies and teen babies, as well as diaper lovers. No matter how it manifests, the themes of infantilism most often revolve around diapers. The vast majority wear them, and put them to their intended use. According to a recent survey of DPF by BitterGrey, Between 95 and 98 percent of adult babies reported wetting diapers. Between 54 and 56 percent reported regularly soiling them. Most adult babies do this by choice for enjoyment. Some do not, as they must wear diapers for medical reasons.
• Thumb/Pacifier Sucking – Many many infantilists use thumb sucking and pacifier sucking as a way to relax. Some get physical pleasure from it, while others enjoy it simply because of the idea that it makes them more infantile, an idea that most like to reinforce.
• Role Play – For those infantilists lucky enough to be able to enter into a relationship, role playing is a common practice. Adult babies often enjoy identifying themselves as an infant in the position of care by a mother or father figure, played by a spouse or significant other.

These are just a few of the practices that infantilists engage in. Others include the wearing of infantile clothing, drinking from baby bottles, and the owning of stuffed animals. All of these serve as a central feeling that infantilists strive to experience. For some, it is comfort, and for others, it is sexual arousal. These practices are most commonly driven by fantasies. Infantilistic fantasies contain several common elements, but again, everybody is unique.

Common fantasy elements include:

• Coercion/Forced Diaper Wearing – Many infantilists enjoy feeling helpless. The idea of being forced back into diapers and sometimes, being forced to use them, is particularly appealing to them. The reason is because it reinforces the person’s helpless position. Helplessness is a central theme of many fantasies.
• Identification – This is a source of much controversy among people who know infantilists. Often times, they may find the person possessing pictures of small children or adults wearing diapers. In the case of the former, many infantilists are often regarded as pedophiles. However, for an adult baby, these images are not there to treat the person in the picture as a sex object as a pedophile does. They serve in the process of identification, which entails identifying oneself in the position of another. Seeing a happy child wearing diapers is pleasurable for infantilists because many enjoy imagining themselves in that position. The cause of this element is believed to stem from dissatisfaction with one’s own age, but there is still little hard evidence to support this.
• Permanent Regression – The idea of permanent regression is one that involves returning permanently to an infantile form. In this sense, the fantasy might involve having to constantly be cared of and treated like a small child for the rest of their life. However, many infantilists, though their fantasies may include this element, do not truly wish to give up their adult life. Fantasies are fantasies, even if they defy both logic and a person’s true wants.
• Becoming Guiltless – This is probably one of the roots from which all of the previous might stem. Many infantilists will support the idea that a main draw of it is the freeing of their guilt and anxieties. In fantasies, this often manifests as the presence of a mother or father figure upon who the guilt rests, not the infantilist in the fantasy. Often times, if activity engaged in, it is this figure who initiates it and performs it. This connects with the idea of being forced to wear diapers. Many feel guilty about their liking for them, so being forced to wear them by another person eliminates the anxiety that they often feel about it.

There are many other fantasy elements, such as exhibitionism, which are less common but still prevalent among infantilists. Moreover, the themes of all of these individual fantasy elements can be said to stem from guiltlessness and helplessness, two things that infantilists commonly strive to reach. They enjoy feeling helpless and free of anxiety, which is a feeling that can be appreciated by other groups in different and sometimes lesser forms. Any person will probably say that being free of their anxiety would be a good thing, but if asked, they would most likely not want to be dressed as a baby and coddled. On the other side of things, masochists enjoy feeling helpless in a sense, but may not want to be diapered and held. However, infantilism holds a lot in common with masochism, and often, elements will overlap between them.

There is no way to define an adult baby or teen baby. Common elements persist in their actions, fantasies, and desires, but this is overshadowed by their individuality. Many want different things, and will focus their desires, fantasies, and actions on those things. By itself, it is difficult to define, but often easy to recognize. This is the reason infantilists are commonly thought to all want the same thing. However, if one were to watch the activities of two infantilists, one would most likely notice striking differences in their behavior and desires (expressed by their behaviors).

Teen Babies

Infantilism is not something that people become involved with overnight. The case for most infantilists is that the interest in infantile objects shows up in early childhood. There is a pattern that many infantilists follow through their childhood, but it is far from predictable. The ages at which things surface is not exact for any infantilist, but the order can be somewhat recognizable. The interest remains dormant for sometime until something triggers it to surface. This can be something along the lines of seeing a small child wearing diapers or seeing them at the store. After the interest surfaces, fantasy usually follows. Children and teen infantilists often have similar fantasies to that of adult infantilists, but they are usually much simpler.

The next thing that usually surfaces is the set of urges that so many infantilists describe. These urges are very strong, very focused, and can often leave teens or children feeling as if they are missing something. The initial urges are usually focused solely on diapers, and orient themselves in a comforting way, as a opposed to a sexual way. However, as a child moves through puberty into his or her teen years, two things happen. Firstly, as the child goes through puberty, diapers have the potential to become a source of sexual gratification. This does not always happen, but it is more common than not. Secondly, with many, as a child moves into his or her teenage years, the urges become less focused on just diapers, but also on various infantile objects such as pacifiers and baby bottles. This isn’t always true. Some teens retain their focus on diapers, but more often than not, infantile urges surface as well.

The urges that teen babies face, while they have the potential to become sexual, are often described as being initially for comfort reasons. A possible reason for this is the onset of a diaper fixation in early childhood. Teens often describe their first feelings for diapers as being oriented around a sensual (as opposed to sexual) enjoyment of them. There are certain things about the way a diaper feels that a child might enjoy, such as the padding between their legs or the sound it makes. The reason a child might enjoy these things in the first place is not currently known. However, it might offer insight as to why teens often (though by no means always) develop a sexual love for diapers.

A common problem that they are faced with is that of confusion. Most people have little idea what infantilism is, and the case is no different for teens who are faced with it. Recently, the internet has enabled teens to find information about their own interests, but half the people in the united states still do not have access to the internet. Because of this, many teens are unaware that there are others out there who share their interests. This has the potential to lead to isolation.

Another problem that many teen babies face is that of their environment. For many, getting diapers to sate their urges is difficult because they have no access to them. Moreover, they face the problem of having to keep their desires secret. Many fear that they will never be accepted by parents, other family members, and friends. These fears are not unfounded, as many have faced parental distrust and rejection upon telling about their desires.

Diaper Lovers

It is convenient to define an adult baby as being associated with infantilism by itself, but all too often, this is not the case. Infantilism is most often combined subtly with other interests. In the case of a diaper lover, it is combined with the element of fetishism, which is defined as receiving sexual arousal and gratification from an object which is not inherently sexually charged. In this case, the fetish object is a diaper.

Diaper lovers by themselves can be said to have their desires as a result of a diaper fetish. Indeed there are many who enjoy only diapers and only in the sexual respect. However, there are many Diaper Lovers who are simultaneously adult or teen babies. The phrase used to describe such tendencies is often “AB/DL” or “TB/DL”. In BitterGrey’s survey of DPF, approximately 23 percent of the sample size reported being equally “AB” and “DL”, and, collectively, approximately 81 percent of the participants reported being, at least in part, both “AB” and “DL”. In addition to this, when asked “Are Diapers Sexually Arousing?”, the figures for those who answered “yes” were 90-95 percent for “DL”, 95-100 percent for “Mostly DL”, 95-100 percent for “Equal”, 85-90 percent for “Mostly AB”, and 75-80 percent for “AB”.

However, it is unfair to claim that the source of these desires and interests is purely fetishistic. There are many things which serve as evidence even contrary to this idea. For example, some diaper lovers (though a very diminished number) enjoy them only emotionally, not sexually. Following a similar trend, many adult babies started off as having an emotional attachment to diapers. Through their teen years, diapers might become sexually arousing, but often this element dissipates after the onset of adulthood, even if the infantilistic ones do not. This phenomenon points to the idea that the sexual gratification from diapers in adult babies stems partly from fetishistic tendencies but also partly from natural occurrences such as hormones. However, those who support this idea must also take into account that correlation does not equal causation. There is still much to be found out about why diaper lovers are the way they are.

The activities engaged in by diaper lovers are very common within the group. In the same survey mentioned above, between 80 and 85 percent of “DL’s” reported wetting diapers, and between 25 and 30 percent reported soiling them. The most common outlet for sexual gratification is masturbation in diapers. Many find the warm, lubricated feeling arousing, similar to how a heterosexual man might find that same feeling arousing in a woman’s vagina. This tendency helps to illustrate why the behavior is almost always associated with men. It is because of the male genitalia being located externally that the pleasure is derived.

There is much controversy over what a diaper lover actually does versus his or her intent in doing it. Diaper lovers often masturbate in diapers, or look at pictures of people in diapers while doing so. This often leads to the accusation of diaper lovers as pedophiles or perverts. However, one must examine this in a different light if one is to truly understand it. When looking at pictures of somebody in diapers, or even of a child in diapers, a diaper lover does not get his sexual gratification from the child in the picture. He gets it from the object in it, in this case, the diaper. This is the nature of a fetish at its most basic level.

Babyfurs and Sissy Babies

Arguably, this is infantilism at is simplest. However, one must take into account that the meaning of that phrase only refers to the combination of infantilism and other things as simple. Infantilism in this sense remains just as complex as it does by itself. However, one can recognize the combination of infantilism with other interests as being relatively simple in terms of its execution.

Sissy babies are infantilists with an interest in transvestism, the wearing of the opposite gender’s clothing. However, these elements, unlike the combination of infantilism with fetishism are not kept separate. The activities engaged in by infantilists and by transvestites are not separate in those who have an interest in both. Often times, sissy babies view themselves not as an baby, and separately, a women/man (depending on their actual sex). They most often view themselves as a baby who’s gender is the opposite. A man who is a sissy baby might view himself as a baby girl. He might wear sun dresses and other clothing that very young girls wear. It should be noted, however, that transvestism is not the only mechanism behind the enjoyment of wearing clothing articles of the opposite gender. Some sissy babies enjoy it because it acts as a form of humiliation or submission. Forced infantilism can come in tandem with forced feminization in both vestic ageplay and masochistic roleplay.

Babyfurs are infantilists with an interest in the furry fandom. The furry fandom is a group which holds an appreciation for anthropomorphism, or the imposing of animal-like characteristics onto humans. It is important to realize that, unlike infantilism, being a part of the furry fandom does not imply any specific psychological state. A good analogy to compare infantilism to the furry fandom is to look at it like an issue of a “compulsion/fixation” versus a “hobby”, respectively. Often times, a babyfur will create a “fursona” (an anthropomorphic portrayal of themselves) which is infantile in its nature. As already stated, there is no defined line that splits up the two interests. For most, they see themselves not as a baby who is also an animal, but as a baby animal. However, the proverbial “line” that splits up the two groups is fairly less blurred than that of sissy babies. For example, a baby animal would not be likely to wear diapers in nature, but babyfurs commonly engage in diaper wearing. This is an excellent example of how infantile interests can overshadow other interests.

Adult Babies and Diaper Lovers: How The Interests Interact

As already mentioned, most adult babies are simultaneously diaper lovers. Some will describe their interests in that they are “Mostly AB” or “Mostly DL”. The reason for such a description is that the interests, though they come in tandem, are often kept separate. This does not imply that adult babies and diaper lovers “adopt” the practices. This simply implies that, for many, the activities associated with each interest are usually not performed together.

Simply put, many adult babies, though they may be diaper lovers, do not like to engage in sexual activities while they are role playing. According to BitterGrey’s survey of DPF, between 50 and 55 prefer to keep sexual elements out of role play, regression, and, for some, out of all fantasies, games, and scenes. Another 20 to 25 percent allow some, if moderated in some way. The remaining 20 to 30 percent allow unrestricted sexual acts. As can be seen from these numbers, many adult babies prefer to keep sexuality and role play separate. The reason for this might be that sex between a “mommy/daddy” and a “baby” would seem incestuous. While the participants are usually consenting adults with no relation to each other, a large number of adult babies strive to reach as infantile a role as possible, and therefore would find sex acts during role play incestuous in a psychological way.

On the other hand, diaper lovers tend to be much more open to sex acts during role play. Of those who described themselves as being “DL”, between 21 and 25 percent reported allowing unrestricted sexual acts. While this percentage is actually lower than that of the percentage of adult babies who reported the same thing, one must take into account the fact that not all diaper lovers are simultaneously adult babies. Between 30 and 35 percent reported that they had no fantasies, games, or scenes whatsoever of age play. In addition to this, in those who described themselves as “mostly DL”, nearly 50 percent reported allowing unrestricted sexual activity, with another 23 to 27 percent allowing moderated activity.

Another thing that ties these two interests together is masochism. Masochism is the enjoyment derived from experiencing a loss of power, comfort, status, or control. True masochists like to be humiliated and often hurt by others. (the phrase S&M describes this relationship between a sadist and a masochist). However diaper lovers and adult babies tend to be somewhat inherently masochistic in their nature. The nature of the pleasure received from infantile treatment during sexual activity often stems from masochism, in that it is enjoyed as a form of humiliation, and not of comfort, as an adult baby enjoys it.

This highlights an important concept that one must grasp if one seeks to understand infantilism. Different circumstances bring different motives for similar activities. What this means is that an adult baby or diaper lover can enjoy certain things for different reasons at different times. An adult baby might find a pacifier comforting during a role playing situation. However, that same adult baby might like the pacifier for a completely different reason in a different situation. He might enjoy it functioning as a gag during masochistic role play. It is similar with diapers. He might find them soft, comforting, and presenting security during a role play situation. But they might suddenly become appealing in a different way if the circumstances change. They might become a form of humiliation or a source of sexual gratification. In both cases, the circumstances and the motives change, but the objects remain the same. This is a possible indicator of why so many adult babies are also diaper lovers. The motive changes, but the object stays.

Myths and Facts About Infantilism

There are many ideas about infantilism’s nature. Some of these are true, while others are simply prejudices.

• All infantilists are pedophiles – This idea is entirely a myth. In no way is infantilism inherently associated with performing sexual acts on children. Granted, within many groups, there are pedophiles, but the term “infantilism” does not in any way imply pedophilic tendencies. Moreover, pedophiles are frowned upon by infantilists as much, if not moreso, as they are by any group of people, for may infantilists wish for all children to have the happy, innocent life that they deserve.
• All Infantilists are homosexual – Actually, studies have shown that the vast majority of infantilists are heterosexual males. One possible reason for the seemingly larger number of homosexuals in the community is that, because of infantilism, people are more open about their sexuality, and willing to admit that they are gay or bisexual. Whether or not somebody is gay however, is the result of a completely different mechanism.
• Infantilism is harmful to development – This is a difficult idea to talk about. In the basic sense, it is false. Infantilism by itself is not harmful to development, but certain things can make it harmful. The degree to which something is taken determines its potential to be harmful. For example, if a child starts to play basketball as a kid, and grows up to have a regular job but continues to play basketball, that is not harmful at all. However, if that same child devoted his or her entire life to basketball, and ignored a college education because he gets his hopes up about joining the NBA, then it has the potential to be harmful. Infantilism can be viewed in a similar light.
  
• Jerry Springer and CSI are good examples of Infantilism – This is partially true, yet mostly untrue. As I have said several times, it has to do with degree. The man portrayed in the CSI’s "King Baby" as well as the man portrayed in Jerry Springer’s "Adult Babies" accurately portrays the interests of many infantilists. However, they both unrealistically portray the degree to which most people take it. The men in the episodes are an excellent example of what many would consider an “unhealthy” infantilist. Most people do not take it to that extreme, but many fantasize about it. Many infantilists feel that these television programs reflected a very poor image of the adult babies. Since these are popular television shows, and also since many have little experience with infantilism, infantilists often fear that these shows portray what people believe to be common. In reality, the people on these shows are anomalies.

The Perception

Previous sections presented the activates, motives, and forms that infantilism can undertake. This section is about common perceptions that infantilists have, and that others who are not infantilists have. The goal is to try and help those who are reading this, whether they be infantilists or not, understand the nature of the interest. It is also intended to spread acceptance and understanding.

The first perception of infantile interests is almost identical for infantilists and non-infantilists; confusion. For infantilists, understanding their desires is difficult, especially when they are recognized in late childhood or teenage years. Some often feel disgusted with the way they act, and wish it would stop. However, the urges are often too powerful to overcome in the long term, causing the urges to resurface and the behaviors to reoccur. However, as already mentioned, many infantilists are able to educate themselves about their desires from sex books, magazines, and the most recent contender, the internet. This education often affects the infantilist's perceptions about their desires.

In contrast, most non-infantilists have never heard about infantilism, and those who have know little about it. This is one of the biggest reasons that reactions to infantilists are often negative. When the brain is introduced with a new schema (template for information), it quickly tries to fill this template with any existing information. This is one of the reasons that people have so many prejudices about infantilism, many of which are completely untrue. This is also a reason why it might be confused with unrelated, but better known, conditions. Sometimes it is difficult to not persist in viewing an infantilist as a “freak” or a “pervert.” The alternative requires open-mindedness and a willingness to accept the nature of others.

Sometimes comparison help to put infantilism into perspective. For example, if you are the parent of an infantilist, you might consider the other things your child could be doing that are far more harmful than being an adult baby or teen baby. For example, infantilism is much less harmful than narcotics, smoking, sexual promiscuity, etc.

This is a concept that many people ignore when they first hear that someone close to them is an infantilist. They don’t understand it, and they are unable to find a way to accept it. They usually do one of two things: They either cut off contact with that person (usually between friends) or they try to change him (usually in the case of family). However, the harsh reality is that there is no answer to the problem. Psychological therapy is a primary choice of parents whose children are infantilists. However, this rarely, if ever, truly ends infantile desires. Cutting their child off from anything that could allow them to indulge in infantile tendencies is also not an answer. This only worsens the situation, because not only does it provide no outlet for infantile desires, but it also threatens the trust between parent and child.

The reality of infantilism is that it, by itself, poses absolutely no direct danger to anybody. The indirect dangers are those of negative perceptions and immoderation. As with all desires and interests, infantilists must find a healthy balance between their infantile desires and adult responsibilities. A healthy infantilist is one that is able to reach this balance. An unhealthy one is one that is unable to do this. The unorthodoxy of the lifestyle is most often the stigma that people face when presented with it. Bringing oneself past this stigma is a challenge, but once it has been attained, one’s view of infantilism will be completely different. Tolerance is what is truly needed. It is not required that one love what they know they cannot love. However, to tolerate it, and accept that it exists as something not negative, but just different, is an act that is requires the littlest of effort, but has the most positive of outcomes on all of our lives. It is an act that if performed by all, can move society forward to a place it has never been before.

External links

• Understanding Infantilism
• Paraphilic Infantilism on Wikipedia
• Babyfur on Wikifur