Hiding diapers

From ADISC Answers Wiki

If you live with parents or any other people that you don't want to know about your diapers, you need to hide them. This article will give you some tips to keep your little secret your own.

Ordering Online

Main article: Ordering online

Getting Them Into the House

The first step any person has to go through in hiding their diapers is to successfully get them into your place of residence without being noticed or being confronted about "what's in the bag".

Home Alone

The best way to get diapers into your house is when you have the place to yourself. Get your diapers when no one else is home and you know that they won't be around for a little while. It helps greatly if a little forward-planning is done on your behalf. Ask innocent questions like, "So what are you up to tomorrow?" or "So you'll be out all day, huh?". Gather information on your family's routine for the following few days and come up with a suitable time in which you'll be able to bring the diapers into your home and not have to deal with anyone.

Someone's Home

This can be very problematic if not handled correctly. The situation is, you've got yourself some diapers, but upon arriving back home, someone else is about. There are a few ways to handle this.

One way to stop this problem before it even happens is to CHECK YOUR GARAGE/CARPORT for your parents' cars! If they are there, just dump your backpack in bushes, or any other place that is out of the way, and walk in calmly. Just act like you were out for a walk/bike ride, and wait until they leave the house to bring your diapers to your hiding spot.

Leave the diapers outside temporarily until a better time comes up (preferably still in the package, as not to let the elements and other things get to the diapers themselves). Hide them in some bushes, under the house, amongst some old junk, (in your own car, if no one else has access to it) etc... anywhere you feel confident that they won't be found. You can then collect them when everyone else eventually does leave the house, or when everyone is asleep you can sneak out. It's up to you to figure when the best opportunity to collect them is.

Another, more risky option is to bring them inside within your backpack or other bag. It's highly recommended that you open the package first and carry them in separated and flatter so they don't have the typical prism shape of a diaper package. This well help in lowering the suspicion levels of others, as your bag won't have a particular shape to it.

Whatever your reason, and regardless of whether anyone is home or not, always carry a non-transparent bag with you. It'll make your life a lot easier if the situation sours.

This section is also relevant if you've ordered online. If no one has seen the package at your doorstep yet, then you could use the same methods as described here.

When you know a package you ordered via the Internet is destined to arrive soon, be sure to determine the range of dates it will arrive and when. If you attend school that day(s) they are supposed to arrive, play sick. Excuses such as diarrhea in early morning usually work. Having a stay at home mom is more difficult to avoid being found out. As soon as the bell rings, yell 'I'll get it.' When you see the package, run outside, grab the package and put it on the opposite side of the house outside. This way, when your mom leaves (or its late night), go outside and bring it in.

Being Confronted

This is the ultimate stand-off you'll have to face until you get blatantly caught with diapers in your possession. It can be incredibly nerve-wracking, but playing it cool is the key to not arousing suspicion.

It would help immensely if you have a good reason to be carrying a bag in the first place. If you study, you could say it's just books and papers, or if you work, you could say that it's a another pair of clothes, as you went to a friend's house after your shift. If you ride your bike to the the store to get the diapers, one possible thing you could say is that it's just a bunch of things you picked up and you can't exactly carry stuff in your hands while riding a bike. Again, forward-planning will make it a lot easier and arouse a lot less suspicious if you have an (believable) excuse ready to go.

If they are persistent however, you may need to step it up a little. One tactic is to become rather evasive of their words and actions. Say you have to be somewhere and are in a hurry, or you urgently need to use the toilet and leave before they can get another word in. Create a reason that would give you a good enough excuse as to why you are being secretive about "the books and clothes" in your bag and why you need to leave in a hurry.

Another good measure is to actually put some ordinary things in your bag. If you have a bag with multiple compartments, then place some books or whatever in the main section and have the diapers in the other sections. If asked to open your bag, open the main section, only showing whatever regular things you've put in there. However, if they are considerably nosy, they may ask to see the rest of your bag. At this point, it's probably best to apply your evasive tactic and get out of there. It may arouse a bit of suspicion, but hopefully should give you enough time to dump your bag and diapers somewhere so you can deal with it later.

If having ordered online, and someone has seen the package, you should probably have a good excuse lined up. Computer parts is generally a good excuse, however it may not cover how large the diaper package is, and therefore the shipping container it comes in. It's best to avoid saying it is something that they would be interested in seeing, like new clothes or speaker system. Your best bet is to say it is something that they know you have an interest in, and is relatively large. Having lots of electronics in your room, makes it easy to say it is just some new hardware of sorts. Parents rarely notice nor take interest in stuff like that.

Getting Them to Your Hiding Place

Again, if you are home alone, then this shouldn't be a problem. Take a little bit of time to make sure your diapers are nicely concealed and properly hidden.

However, if someone else is home, sometimes it just best to leave them in a temporary spot until a better time arises to hide them. Chances are, you are probably hiding them in your room, or other low-traffic area of your house (you should be!). Locking yourself in your room straight after coming home is rather conspicuous and shows that you are hiding something. Dump your bag in a place where you know it won't get seen and/or touched. In your closet, under some clothes, under/behind your drawers are some decent examples of what you could use as a temporary spot. Then just go on about your daily business as if nothing is any different. Have patience and don't fret too much over it. Unusual behavior will raise some eyebrows and questions will be asked. But it is good to check a few times to make sure your temporary spot hasn't been disturbed, if it has, then find another.

The Rules

A golden rule of real estate is 'location, location, location'. Location is the key to hide diapers well.

The DOs

Places you're looking for:

• A place where nobody ever goes (attic, basement).
• A place which is fairly accessible for you; don't hide them in someone else's room, or any other place you do not always have access too if you really needed to.
• A place which isn't too obvious; somewhere that is rarely frequented in your house.
• A place with a lock would be great.
• A place which isn't easy to reach (such as under a closet; if it's closed off, otherwise someone might sweep them out when cleaning...).
• Being more specific here, a place that folks often see, but has been there so long that no-one would even think to look there... A good example of this is an old toy box or something like that in an easily accessible area.
• A place out of the way would be ideal, so if someone is searching your room, they won't likely find the diapers, or even see where they're kept... A box on top of a closet, with other boxes around it, would be a good example.
• Any combination's of these examples would be great, and only heighten the security of your diapers' whereabouts.
• One possibility is if you have big tower speakers, you can unscrew the woofer and put them inside. The probability of anyone ever looking inside them is very low, especially if they are in your room. A lot of times you can find them cheap in thrift stores, along with a receiver/amplifier which makes them usable as your computer speakers.
• Another good possibility is under the bottom drawer of a drawer set or filing cabinet. In most cases, the area under the bottom drawer will be hollow. This is excellent, as it is an area few people realize exist, or, if they do, it's been so long they don't even think about. Just be careful that nothing is visible around the sides of the drawer when it's open.
• If your car has a spare tire well in the trunk, you can hide them here as long as your car is not driven, cleaned, or searched by others.

The DON'Ts

Places you really don't want to try:

• In someone else's room, you never know when the diapers will be stumbled upon.
• Hiding them under your bed (or any of those other super obvious 'I want to hide something.' places).
• Similar to the above, UNDER THE MATTRESS: SUPER DUMB.
• Leaving them out in plain sight.
• Anywhere outside the house where they could get wet or otherwise damaged, such as a moist crawlspace. However, the diapers can be protected by being put in trash bags.
• In a hall closet.
• Underneath a bathroom sink.
• Any place frequented by family members.
• Any place you would have no legitimate reason to be interested in, that would prevent you from performing an intervention or using delaying tactics if they were about to be discovered.
• Any 'obvious' place, you want diapers where no-one will think to look for them. (Said again for impact, this is VERY IMPORTANT.)
• In a garage.

Tips

One classic way to hide them is known as the 'old computer' trick. The idea is to remove the casing off an old computer, and hide your stuff in there. You can hide pacifiers on top of the CD-ROM player, so you could access them by removing the front covers of the casing. Be sure to be careful when placing the diapers in the case, as a computer main board has some sharp points in them which could rip open the diaper's cover (you don't want diaper pulp in your old computer). You need to remember also not to use the computer (at least not for long amounts of time), since the main board can get fairly hot and could melt the plastic diaper cover. Clean out the computer before using it as a hiding place, especially if your hiding pacis, bottles or anything that goes in your mouth as old computers gather dust easily.

Another method is the 'under the closet' trick. If you have a closet which is sealed on the bottom, try to see if you can remove the wooden place that is between the two sides of the closet. If it's loose, clean up under it (dirt and dust get underneath everything), and put your stash there. Be sure to close the 'hiding place' again when you're done.

If you have a suitcase (not a really big one) that has a lock on it, put your diapers in it and hide the suitcase (make sure nobody uses the suitcase any more or you could get a nasty surprise someday).

A similar way you could hide them is by using the old "double-bottom" trick. If you can, keep boxes for storage and take a second box, cut an extra square that just fits snugly inside. Put your stuff at the bottom, and put the fake bottom on top. Then put other miscellaneous things on top to make it look good - especially clothes... Or if you're lazy you could just put clothes on top with no extra bottom. Of course this will work best for smaller items or a smaller amount of items.

Alternatively, if you have just a few smaller items like pacifiers, or you're looking for a quick fix, you can fold your clothes, and stuff items inside the folded clothes.

Also, some drawers have space behind or below them... Sometimes this is obvious, sometimes not, but always use proper judgment for your situation. You can usually pull the drawer all the way out, stuff things in behind it and put the drawer back in.

It you are planning on putting your diapers somewhere and putting something over the top of them, consider using something inconspicuous so people really wouldn't have any reason to filter through them. For example, if you have three years of school papers, you can hide your diapers underneath the inevitably large pile. It also pays to get to know the routine of your family, the places they frequent and the place they rarely go. Obviously, if your parents still make your bed and clean your room, hiding your diapers under your bed or in your drawers would be a bad option. In most cases, the best place is one that rarely gets disturbed and looks uninteresting.

Try to avoid drawing attention to the hiding location. New fingerprints in a thick layer of dust is a sure way to create interest. If your hiding spot is dusty, cleaning the entire area may be a good idea. Anything odd or out of place will increase the chance that someone will investigate. A lump under a pile of clothes is not good. Additionally, any new lock could cause suspicion. If it normally locked, try to avoid using too many locks or too big of one. Luggage is normally locked with a luggage lock. A large padlock will make it obvious that the owner is trying extra hard to hide the contents. The primary goal is to avoid causing someone to search your hiding spot.

This might sound obvious, but try not to buy more diapers than the ones you can hide, no matter how attractive the sale is, if you can't hide three bags, you won't buy more than that. In addition, a good idea would be to have less diapers than the maximum amount the hiding can have, this to avoid accidental "escapes", especially if your hideout is a suitcase.

Ideas

This is a place for everyone to post the place where they hide their diapers as everyone's situation is different. So if everyone states the place they hide their diaper here then there is bound to be a place that you can use yourself too.

• A cupboard which has some unused space under it that you can't see unless you get the whole drawer out.
• An old computer case, or the box your computer came in.
• A car trunk - possibly under or inside sleeping bags.
• A personal toolbox can be used for smaller items. Plastic toolboxes are fairly cheap and sturdy. If you live with your parents, one strategy is to clearly tell them that it's locked for a reason, the reason being to keep things away from younger siblings.
• If you have a grandfather or grandmother clock, they typically have room for 5-10 diapers in the bottom. This may interfere with the clock's weights if you stack the diapers too high.
• Tiled ceilings, like the ones found in schools and stores, are often made of fiberglass or some other sturdy material. Often they can be used to store diapers in a very inconspicuous way.
  • Make sure no one decides to open up the ceiling for repairs.
• If you have an old toy box, fireproof safe, or any other closed box-like thing in your room that has been there for so long, your parents don't even think about what's in there anymore, that would be a great place to hide them. Or, if they think that something else is in there, that makes it even better.
• An old dresser preferably unused and in a low trafficked area.
• One or several old backpacks; hide some in each one. Be careful, though, as each additional location provides one more opportunity to be discovered.
• Your car, if only you drive it and your friends do not ride in it.
• Your dresser; however, this is a very bad suggestion if anyone ever frequents your room besides you, or if you do not do your own laundry, if the right conditions are met, this the best hiding place, as long as nobody other than you is ever in your room.
• A double drawer desk, or a desk that is two drawers in one. You pull one out thinking its just one but it's actually 2 huge drawers made into one.
• Under the bottom drawer in your dresser. If you take the bottom drawer completely out of your dresser, there should be a small amount of space between the floor and where the drawer would normally be. Certainly more than enough room for a pack of diapers, a box of your TB stuff, or really anything else you don't want people to find. Just remember to put the drawer back as usual. No one should even think to look there unless they already knew in the first place.
• The inside of an old puzzle box can store a fairly high amount of diapers.
• If you have an older room with vents on the floors or in the walls, you can easily unscrew the vents and hide small objects such as a pacifier or a few thinner diapers in there.
• If you have a bookshelf and old big books you never read, but are always there, take a box cutter and cut a square hole in the middle of the book- hide your paci in there and put it back in the shelf.
• Three ringed binders that are large are good hiding spots too. You can probably hide several diapers inside a three ringed binder if the binder is big enough.
• If you have young palm trees outside, keep the diapers in the lower leaves which are normally quite thick. Make sure you keep the diapers in a trash bag or something water tight as it's outside and can get wet if not protected.
• Use the back of your headboard on your bed if you have one. Put a few diapers in a trash bag and then use duck tape or similar tape to secure the bag to the back of your headboard. Make sure it's not too thick otherwise it will stick out from the wall too much and people will wonder why your bed is so far away from the wall.
• You can hide a good number of diapers between your mattress and box-spring. This might not work for everyone though, and might be a bad idea if your mom does your bed or if other people use it for whatever reason. Also remember that people who are deliberately searching your room often check the mattresses after checking underneath. Spread them evenly to reduce the visibility of any lumps, and keep them away from the edges or towards the far side.
• If you have an attic, it is a good place to hide large amounts of diapers. Find an old box, clean it up, stash a few diapers in your room, and put the rest in the attic.
• An instrument case is a good hiding spot if you generally leave your instrument out anyway. If your instrument's 'cool' or if musicians visit you, people might open your case because they want to strum your guitar, see your new trumpet, etc. This idea should be familiar to readers of E.L. Konigsburg.