Why 'Masculinity' Might Make You Weaker

[Moo]

I saw this today and figured you all might appreciate it.
What do you think?
Personally, while I agree that many people in society construct 'masculinity' to mean whatever behavior or attributes THEY want from you, I also think that there are some elements of classical masculinity (like physical strength, and the habit of taking responsibility) which are worth pursing because they're good for you.

 

[LittleBoyCuddles]

People who say the definition of masculinity is someone who provides for them doesn't really care about you. Most people are incredibly selfish and narcissistic these days. To them, men are just instruments who are entirely disposable. When the man in their life no can longer be of use to them they simply discard them and then lie to themselves and each other about how the man is the one at fault and how they deserve better.

The true form of masculinity is a man that lives his live for himself first and foremost and not for the benefit of others at his own expense or to his own detriment.

 

[LittleRascal]

Interesting video thanks for sharing are you feeling alright Moo?

My take on it though is if you be completely yourself and your unique identity people will take advantage for example if you show weakness or vulnerability.
Don’t adopt masculinity but adopt a version of yourself that can stand up for yourself unfortunately in this world you can never be 100% yourself.

 

[lilSorcerer]

I think chasing "ideals" is a huge part of being human.

Most of us, especially the more reflective ones, are constantly asking ourselves "are we worthy?", "do we deserve the good or bad things that happen to us", "are we great, or are we trash?", "what should I be?" We form a concept of what we are, what the world is, and what these things should be. And from these concepts, shame and frustration, or pride and satisfaction arises. I'll call this part of our human selves our "ego"

It undeniably has important functions in weaving the social fabric that enables and organizes cooperation among human individuals, a critical evolutionary function that benefits the group as a whole, and individuals by extension, but I think for some individuals, this "ego" is more of a liability then a benefit.

I've disliked my "ego" as early as highschool, and have been working on reducing it as much as I can. I want to be simple like an animal: my whims and happiness should need no justification; I'll just do what I want, and take what I want; the world and myself are the way they are, and that's fine, it all just is what it is.

Reducing ego can be a bit of a double edged sword. On one hand, you protect yourself from shame and become more free in many ways, but you also end up losing pride in accomplishments and can become lazier. Your sense of ethics may partially decline as well, but for me, I've been much happier this way.

 

[Hammerite]

I think chasing "ideals" is a huge part of being human.

Most of us, especially the more reflective ones, are constantly asking ourselves "are we worthy?", "do we deserve the good or bad things that happen to us", "are we great, or are we trash?", "what should I be?"

I think it's telling that the options you suggest for what kind of person one might be are "great" and "trash". What, could it not be that you're a little short of being great, but not outright trash?

I'm not singling you out, I think actually it's easy to get into that way of thinking and it's a phenomenon that has to do with the modern world and modern media (and social media especially) and the way everything from across society is so visible to us. We see so many people and so many judgements being made on people, and they are often excessively positive judgements (this person is a paragon) or excessively negative ones (this person is irredeemable). It's easy to fall into that kind of black-and-white thinking and then apply it to ourselves and think about some particular shortcoming we have, or have had and conclude that we are in the "bad person" category. And that's really bad for us.

I don't think it's bad to have ego and a desire to be a better person, but in order to avoid being a liability it has to come along with a realisation that you can't avoid screwing up now and again, and it doesn't necessarily make you a monster when you do.

 

[Edgewater]

I have never considered where on a masculinity scale I fit, as over my life time, I have vastly and continually changed.

As like near every other child, I was measured against the standard measurement tools of the era and was classified as a slow learner. In and about the age of 7, a huge change occurred as the combination of self-awareness and some unknown measurement of the connectively of my mind occurred. I jumped from slow to advanced and that was also a point in which I began a life long quest for knowledge. But, although the tests showed my growth on their scales continue to climb, I felt as if I was stupid as my thoughts felt disconnected. Some place around 13, another major and life long joy entered as my mind began to find links. Upon completing high-school, I was drafted into the Service of My Country, as I came from a poor household and off to the Vietnam War I went. Here another major change occurred as I tested as well suited for a specialist technical position: 45G30- . Returning home I enter College and found a love for Engineering. Some would measure my Masculinity as high while others would not. Again, I never considered the scale.

Engineering is a joy as the enjoyment of continued learning and the growth of my ability to find links between dissimilar concepts helped my growth within a Germany Corporation's US office. I had found yet another unique trait as I had alway enjoy speaking in small to large groups. To this end my masculinity have formed around the founding beliefs of my family, neighborhood and city in which I lived. Another individual was my 400 level statical professor, who set in place one of my guide towers: Treat others with honestly, and to 'hear others.' This combinations set in place as my mind created links.

Found the love my my life, married and became a father while rapidly growing with the US Office. And, then as a result of a Car Crash, I became 24/7, U-IC. Here is where a stationary scale of masculinity fails as the tradition between riding that stationary scale to a vast change in measured falls apart. I should have, as seen in the video, crashed and those around me scared quickly away.

A quote from one of the Post above "are we worthy" comes to play as the Video defines masculinity from a more recent description and does not really define the wonders of a setting that defines /produces males that are well balanced with a combination of family, faith, and transition. This now unique combination creates Men that care for other's wellbeing and believe strongly in being honest with family, friends and clients. I am a strong believer in this type of masculinity as it is never a stagnate scale.

Had I not allowed myself to continue to transition, after the car crash, except my dear wife's push and stepped with me, out that front door wearing a thick cloth diaper and plastic pants under my street cloths, I would not have gone on to have a truly wonderful life.

Masculinity seems to be hated into days World. I see the problem as the scale used to define masculinity has failed to consider the effects of key guide posts of the make of a Man. As a result, it defines a specific faction and misses a huge ground of Men. Men that stand just out of the spotlight! We are out there Ladies, you just need to alter your list a bit to find us!

 

[RJDodger]

Instructions unclear, bought more thighhighs and skirts

 

[dogboy]

I really liked his message. I think I've always been one to swim against the tide, but I've also been careful to not alienate myself from friends and the judgements of society. What I don't like about the term masculinity is that it's a label and one that's a construct of society. Society, if one lets it, can push us around, tell us what we should think, feel, look like and forces us to conform to its ideology and in this case, what by general acceptance, defines a man.

I remember when my mom discovered my gay porn and diapers. She'd leave in my bedroom, tracts or pamphlets titled, what it is to be a man. It only made me feel sad and certainly ashamed and worse, condemned by society.

I do accept that as people, both men and women, we have a responsibility to be the best persons we can. Being physically strong can also mean taking the steps to be healthy. I think we need to feel a sense of fulfillment and we do that by our work, continuing to educate ourselves, helping others and caring for the world we find ourselves in.

Masculinity refers to just the males and it seems out of place in today's world where we all seek equality.