Hayleyscomet said:
...every time we make 1 small change it progresses further. I'm not sure if it's normal as we haven't discussed with anyone...
Yep this is a fairly normal path for many AB's.
For some background, I've been interested in nappies since I was 7-8 and considered myself fully a nappies only DL until I was into my 20's, even though I learned about AB's when I was about 13-14, I had no interest in it for a long time for myself (though I did enjoy pics/videos/stories of other people being AB's since that is what most of the content online for it was about).
Around my early 20's I acquired and tried a paci, didn't really do much for me but I kept going. I also started seeing really cute AB outfits and started to think "ooooh so cute I want one" so I began exploring the little side bit by bit, just little additions at a time over the course of a few years until I was deep into it. I did enjoy it and had a lot of fun trying things out but came to the conclusion it's not really me I would prefer being a CG than an AB myself.
I'm now 38 (for about 3 more weeks), I pretty much stopped with the AB side of things around 30-31ish. While I do still have bottles, paci's, bibs and other things hanging around and there is some AB stuff I would still like to have (like a decent high chair) I only really indulge that side maybe once or twice a year, though I do still use the bottles sometimes and bibs and cute onesies etc. more often, I do also still buy some new things here and there (got a new Rearz bottle before Christmas) it's not about being an AB so much and more just because I grew to like them.
So yes small changes and additions over a longer period is a very normal way things evolve for people and probably is much better for learning/discovering what you truly enjoy about it than diving in headfirst and doing everything all at once and becoming overwhelmed. Small steps are great for exploring new ideas and practices.
And yes wearing all the time and never using a toilet could potentially lead to incontinence, it is something that comes up on here often and is generally frowned upon as it is considered self harm. It is however a personal choice and up to each individual to weigh the pro's and con's. As long as a person fully does their homework and research to understand exactly what it would mean and what problems they would then face, then it is their decision.
There are some people here who have done it and reached incontinence and there are some who have been 24/7 trying to get IC for years and still nothing. Some of those who have made themselves IC are very happy about it and others deeply regret it and are now having great difficulty trying to regain control.
For the sake of information, If he he simply going whenever, without ever trying to hold it, then his bladder control will definitely weaken. Though it is doubtful he will reach a point where he doesn't know that he needs to go or doesn't notice it happening, there is likely to always be some awareness. On the other hand, Even if he is wearing 24/7 if there is enough times where he is holding it in until a more suitable time to release then his control should remain quite strong.
Do note though...
Hayleyscomet said:
I have absolutely no issues with it at all, he only wets them and I have no issue changing him...
...but I really would like him to stay in nappies I find it quite stimulating.
If you want him wearing all the time like this then it is probably going to involve messing those nappies too eventually, Even if he stays fully continent, maybe even if he doesn't wear all the time and only for sometimes. It is a natural psychological evolution of wearing nappies more often. There are many posts on here with questions/looking for experiences from people who have worn for years and only ever wet but are curious about soiling a nappy. Some try it and love it all, some hate it and many love the experience but hate the clean up.
This is something you would need to discuss with him and if you are both not ready to do the changes for that, maybe have "potty" time during a change to do no.2 if he needs or perhaps some signal that he needs no.2 so you can change him and he can go to the toilet for it before having a fresh nappy on. However there is still likely to be a time where he gets curious and wants to give it a try, communication and discussion are the best course of action, talk things through openly and decide between yourselves how to handle that.
