What's going on...

[foxkits]

My sister is very toxic.
So she no longer my sister.
I wish her the best but she will never see me again. When mom goes she is a orphan.

 

[KBoy]

My mother is toxic.
Dangerous.
Now that she is very old, I tried to reach out after a lifetime of estrangement.
Nothing changed, she would hurt me if she could.
Not everyone's estrangements are so profound. I have lived a life estranged from all blood relatives. It is painful, and people should make as much peace with one another as possible, when possible.
Good luck with your journey to peace of mind BobbiSueEllen
We have your back baby

 

[BBBen]

Tears go down on our journey of life.
And this lifes sometimes hurts so much.
Iam fully with you @BobbiSueEllen @KBoy and @foxkits .
It hurts to know, that some here are nearer than your blood relatives.

And you know the time goes on - and it seems to be, you couldnt do anything against it - we are getting older and wounds are there.
Hope that we all have a chance to forgive and be forgiven and to find our peace with our families.

As you @KBoy and @foxkits i have broken with mother and one brother. Toxic behavior is one of the big points there. But you come to a point after more than 5 years there you ask, if it was right - and you hope for a chance to be together again. But you know nothing had changed. This family gap nobody can fill.

And it had destroy the original source of trust and confidence.
we stand behind you Bobbi and also behind us @KBoy and @foxkits

 

[foxkits]

Tears go down on our journey of life.
And this lifes sometimes hurts so much.
Iam fully with you @BobbiSueEllen @KBoy and @foxkits .
It hurts to know, that some here are nearer than your blood relatives.

And you know the time goes on - and it seems to be, you couldnt do anything against it - we are getting older and wounds are there.
Hope that we all have a chance to forgive and be forgiven and to find our peace with our families.

As you @KBoy and @foxkits i have broken with mother and one brother. Toxic behavior is one of the big points there. But you come to a point after more than 5 years there you ask, if it was right - and you hope for a chance to be together again. But you know nothing had changed. This family gap nobody can fill.

And it had destroy the original source of trust and confidence.
we stand behind you Bobbi and also behind us @KBoy and @foxkits

Thank you my sister has destroyed my relationship with all of my extended family with lies she even abusive to my mom.
Telling her she is the worst mom ever. Because mom hasn't given her every thing . Yet mom has given her all she has . My sister wants it all.
It's hers she told me so when she kicked me out of my mom's house.
We had been there a week and one half. My sister couldn't stand that.
And travel to my mom's house.
So I can't visit. It's her house I will never be a part of her house.
It's all mine. Sadly my mom let her
This is why I can't visit.
I can only call and my sister recording that or listening to mom and I. Oh I don't hate her I even prayed for her. But now that she's moved back in with mom .it's not good for me to be there.shes even convinced mom to sell her house and move by the west coast so as to make it very difficult to visit if I want to. Why do selfish children pick their parents bones before they have passed. It's all hers I want nothing.
My mom's supported her. Her whole life my sister only work 8 years in her whole life.She only been married 3 time dated hundreds but she can't get along with anyone. So when she doesn't have Mom's SSI check to spend the lessens start. Sorry for the long message.Hugs Bobbi Sue Kboy.
Every one else yes we deal with stuff but we support one another
That's a great gift we are a family.

 

[foxkits]

My mother is toxic.
Dangerous.
Now that she is very old, I tried to reach out after a lifetime of estrangement.
Nothing changed, she would hurt me if she could.
Not everyone's estrangements are so profound. I have lived a life estranged from all blood relatives. It is painful, and people should make as much peace with one another as possible, when possible.
Good luck with your journey to peace of mind BobbiSueEllen
We have your back baby

Some times it's impossible to make peace it takes two. As long as you can enjoy life and love who you are.
Have friends your ok. We can't please everyone.its not our job to be liked by everyone. I don't need to be loved by my parents. I only need to make my life the best I can for me and those I care about. In my space.
We can be a family online all the best to you. Kboy

 

[tschornaja]

My mother made some mistakes especially with my wife. It's about ableism and she made my wife very furious. She decided that my mother is not allowed to see our sons. Now she is very old, frail and after anal surgery somewhat incontinent. She didn't want a birthday party because as she told me it's no fun with full pants. She also had a bout of dementia but recovered somewhat. I visit her every two weeks in the care facility. Her husband was unable to cope and family was harsh to him. I told him, it's important not to overextend yourself. My mother said, if he wants to divorce, she will be ready, but he answered, no, I still love you, and sorry I am not able to give care to you.

My wife and I forgave my mother. It does not make sense to bear grudges anymore.

If someone is still toxic even in the care home, then it is impossible to stay in touch. I am lucky that my mother stopped being toxic. She is very sad that she missed seeing her grandchildren growing up. I think she still does not understand why but she understands that I still love her.

Because of her ableism I feel it best not to talk about diapers. She uses pull-ups. But at least she talks about her incontinence. I said, don't focus too much about going to the toilet, and this seemed to have helped her.

One time, my wife had diapers on when we visited her. If only she knew!

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

I neither grant forgiveness nor withhold it from them. I just want to be away from them. I'm tired of their voices, their misguided counsel towards me, the doubt. The fact of the matter is: we're not good for each other.

 

[tschornaja]

I neither grant forgiveness nor withhold it from them. I just want to be away from them. I'm tired of their voices, their misguided counsel towards me, the doubt. The fact of the matter is: we're not good for each other.

It's different for everybody. I am sorry that it worked out this way for you. Sometimes people are lucky and others are not so lucky. I don't think that it is your fault. Please forgive me that I told my story.

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

It's different for everybody. I am sorry that it worked out this way for you. Sometimes people are lucky and others are not so lucky. I don't think that it is your fault. Please forgive me that I told my story.

Don't feel bad. I'm not angry at you at all...just trying to seek logic in my head. You did nothing wrong.

 

[LePew]

I neither grant forgiveness nor withhold it from them. I just want to be away from them. I'm tired of their voices, their misguided counsel towards me, the doubt. The fact of the matter is: we're not good for each other.

May I ask, are they good to each other?

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

May I ask, are they good to each other?

They have been but the family years were not smooth on the marriage...especially with me around. Things improved when the nest emptied...with a few hiccups. They're celebrating their 60th anniversary this summer.

 

[LePew]

They have been but the family years were not smooth on the marriage...especially with me around. Things improved when the nest emptied...with a few hiccups. They're celebrating their 60th anniversary this summer.

Well atleast things are okay between them.

Your daughter’s 60th anniversary huh? Typo or are you talking about your parents?

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

Yep, parents' anniversary.

 

[KBoy]

I am sorry for everyone's separation, estrangement, and pain.
When I came on ADISC Forum, I thought telling my story, what had happened to me. How I came to be ABDL was what I needed to say here I still do, and I will get around to it.
But when I "met" you, BobbiSueEllen and I learned how you where struggling with estrangement, were unsure what to do... something that I have lived with for almost 40 years. Then I read posts by many other people.
They had been kicked out, cut off or, like me, they just couldn't take it no more.
I cannot say that I feel better, but I don't feel so alone.
It is a good blog BobbiSueEllen,
It's always nice to share with you

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

There were a lot of other negative circumstances in place besides me, my autism and my diapers. My coming & presence exacerbated already-existing issues in the parents' marriage.

 

[caitianx]

Sigh...
I have stated before that my own Mom was Autistic, like me, but unlike me, was a completely mentally deranged fruitcake.

 

[PaigeCherubiel]

If I've done it right, this should be my 500th message.

 

[BobbiSueEllen]

500 it was! Doin' it right, Amíga!

Today, I submitted my 1040. I am tax-exempt for Disability, but I still file anyway--in zeroes--to let 'em know I'm still takin' up American airspace...at FL410.

It's approaching a year since I retoined to Boise. I've managed to navigate through some very dark, murky times since...and have you all to thank for that. Y'all keep me centered better thsn I could do for myself. Thank you all...so very much.

So, now...I begin my name change in June or July. It's time. I can't be a namesake anymore (I believe naming a kid after yourself is, basically, child cruelty)...plus my Hispanic name is causing awkwardness in others I speak with, especially those who look--and are--more Hispanic than myself. I look Dutch...got mother's DNA. Sooo...I got a Dutch name selected and ready to make official. Might just qualify for the waiver of the basic $166 fee due to my income status. Might...which will come in handy for the 20 official, stamped decrees to send to creditors, Dept. of Licensing, docs, Social Security, etc.

Oh...I found a nice, nongendered Dutch first name. Started using it in certain places, to acclimate.

I'm ready to move forward.

 

[KBoy]

That's wonderful news, hey sometimes we have to take steps to free ourselves from emotional baggage
People have been changing directions since the dawn of time
We have inventions like Rack& Pinion steering and reverse to prove it too
You go baby.. You go and be happy

 

[PaigeCherubiel]

Bobbi Sue Van Halen?