Unknown flatmates: wear secretly or discretely?

[mountainplace]

Hello everyone!
Up until now I always wore when I was alone in my university apartment (I live with a flatmate, and we have a shared bedroom), and a couple of times in public (always making sure to be discrete). I'm fine with this, but I find it a little bit stressful, especially the disposal part, since doing this secretly often makes me hate myself because I think I'm doing something wrong.

In the next months I will go abroad and I will live there for a couple of months, where I won't find anyone I know. I will live in a shared apartment with some unknown flatmates, but this time I will have a private bedroom. As a DL, this seems to me a good opportunity to wear more often, however I'm not sure of how I should handle it. I see two possible solutions:

1) do everything secretly, as I have always done: this means that I will have to secretly order and receive diapers, secretly wear and secretly dispose. Probably I would wear only while in bedroom;

2) be discrete: order/receive diapers, wear and dispose as discretely as possible, but without forcing everything to be secret: if a flatmates finds out that I wear and asks me about it, I will tell him/her an excuse (ex: I medically need them);

One pro of the second option is that I would allow myself to wear in more places and also in public, and I think I would feel less stressed about hiding everything. The biggest con is obviously that I may have to tell about the diapers to one or more flatmates. Moreover, it's easy to think that I will act normally while wearing a diaper in front of strangers, but I don't think it would be as easy as it sounds in my mind, so I would have to practice my confidence.

What do you think about it? What would you do?

Again, I want to make clear that in the second option, I do not want to force my diaper wearing to anyone. For instance: I think I will wear most nights. Following the first option I won't exit my room with a diaper on, while with the second one I may exit the room, but not with the diaper not in plain sight.

 

[MandyBear]

2) be discrete: order/receive diapers, wear and dispose as discretely as possible, but without forcing everything to be secret: if a flatmates finds out that I wear and asks me about it, I will tell him/her an excuse (ex: I medically need them);

Again, I want to make clear that in the second option, I do not want to force my diaper wearing to anyone.
For instance: I think I will wear most nights. with the second one I may exit the room, but not with the diaper not in plain sight.

While this may be the easiest (most vanilla) way a Non IC person can explain wearing diapers it does have its drawbacks.
If you tell someone you're IC (Night time / Day time / Both) then you from that point on would be expected to fill that role.
If you say you are IC you can't just take a day/night off from wearing cause you're not feeling it that day/night.

I'm not saying your roommate(s) (or any others you tell) are going to be checking if you are wearing your diaper, lol.
But suddenly not being in one when you normally should be could raise some questions/suspicions of if you are actually IC.

Being IC is not fun, it is not a choice and it is not something you get to take a day off from.
Oh you are going out tonight? Cool right.
Is there even the slightest chance you might be sleeping somewhere else?
Well, did you pack a diaper to bring out with you?
Friends/Roommates, whatever may not ask/talk/care about your wetting, that is until you are sleeping in their bed or on their couch.
Unexpected crashing/sleeping at someone's place can also lead to some unexpected & embarrassing conversations. Are you prepared for that?
Just some things to keep in mind.

 

[mountainplace]

While this may be the easiest (most vanilla) way a Non IC person can explain wearing diapers it does have its drawbacks.
If you tell someone you're IC (Night time / Day time / Both) then you from that point on would be expected to fill that role.
If you say you are IC you can't just take a day/night off from wearing cause you're not feeling it that day/night.

I'm not saying your roommate(s) (or any others you tell) are going to be checking if you are wearing your diaper, lol.
But suddenly not being in one when you normally should be could raise some questions/suspicions of if you are actually IC.

I understand what you are saying, and while I wrote the post I forgot to mention this big cons. Thank you for pointing it out

Is there even the slightest chance you might be sleeping somewhere else?
Well, did you pack a diaper to bring out with you?
Friends/Roommates, whatever may not ask/talk/care about your wetting, that is until you are sleeping in their bed or on their couch.
Unexpected crashing/sleeping at someone's place can also lead to some unexpected & embarrassing conversations. Are you prepared for that?
Just some things to keep in mind.

I'm not concerned about the specific case where I would have to sleep at someone's else house, since this never happened to me in many years, and the fact that I won't know anyone makes it even less probable.

Being IC is not fun, it is not a choice and it is not something you get to take a day off from.

To be honest I've never liked the idea of using IC as an excuse to wear diapers. I hope not to have hurt anyone feelings saying that I would use it as an excuse. I cannot even imagine how complex life would be with IC, and in fact I would never want to lose my control (but I don't judge if someone wants).
This time though, I thought I could use it as an excuse if needed since the situation would be only temporary. I now realize that this is probably a mistake.

 

[MandyBear]

I understand what you are saying, and while I wrote the post I forgot to mention this big cons. Thank you for pointing it out

Glad I could help, and no hurt feelings here

 

[wearforsafety]

In this case, keep it secretly. It is better. To tell to someone, it needs ro pass some time. Less they know, better. You do not need to explain nothing then.

 

[blaincorrous]

expected to fill that role

My solution to this problem is to have some guards, some lightweight comfortable pull-ups, or reusable absorbent underwear on hand. If you don’t want to play the part of always diapered, you’re going to have to show a moderating behavior that regularly deviates from expectation. (Also, consider being IC is a financial strain, too, and it sounds like regular supply might be an issue.)

That said, maybe honesty is best. “Sometimes I need them, sometimes I don’t.” Most people aren’t going to ask you to expand, but you haven’t lied and have left the door open to be more honest if they want/need to know a more complete truth. That may be all you need to say.

Most people aren’t going to care as long as they don’t have to have an uncomfortable discussion about proper diaper disposal. Get a bunch of single diaper sized disposal bags and make sure they never smell a thing.

Either way, being discrete with people who haven’t given consent to be exposed to you in all your poly-backed glory is always a good idea.

 

[Ereid2k19]

Do the second but only if you're willing to tell them the truth. Don't lie about medical issues, it's immoral and could come back to bite you.

 

[mountainplace]

That said, maybe honesty is best. “Sometimes I need them, sometimes I don’t.”

I like this suggestion, and I also agree with Ereid2k19 saying that faking medical problems is immoral.
I feel stressed when I have to keep everything secret, but faking IC could feel even worse.

I still have some time to think about it, but I think I will wear most of the time when I will be alone. If (hopefully not) I will be asked about it, I wil say something honest, altough I will limit only to the strictly needed part.

 

[irnub]

I feel like you guys are making this too complex. Order the stuff, wear the stuff, be reasonably discrete about both. If somebody asks, the answer is "it's personal" followed up by "it's personal and I don't want to discuss it" if they continue to press.

If it's a roommate who's kink-friendly, let them in on it if it comes up.

 

[bobbilly]

I live with housemates and wear nappies. I wear discretely and they know I wear nappies as been caught more than a few times and it's never been a issue with them. I do live in a house with other people with disabilities though.

 

[Beowulf]

If people ask I’d just be vague. I’d say that wearing at night helps me sleep and I have a small bladder. Both are true, never did I say that I wet the bed nor do I require diapers. This would only be an issue if someone pushed for more info.