Unable to feel cared for as a little/AB (sad).

[sylveonkitty]

Sometimes I just feel like I need to be “babied” so bad, it hurts. It feels confusing too. Like I’m really just a little girl needing to be taken care of and loved for who she is, not as an adult.

I feel lonely right now because there’s no one to nurture that side of me… and even if there was, I’m so terrified of judgement. I have a lot of trouble “letting loose” and really embracing my little age. I often worry it’s just uncomfortable and weird. My stressed/anxious adult mind stops me. Even around my boyfriend who tries so hard to be supportive. I just don’t feel confident letting out that side of myself around others, even if there’s support.

Sorry for the vent… being a little isn’t completely voluntary for me so I sometimes feel sad and small like this.

 

[DreamyDoodleBug]

If you haven’t told your boyfriend about this I’d recommend it, it’s part of your emotional needs

 

[sylveonkitty]

If you haven’t told your boyfriend about this I’d recommend it, it’s part of your emotional needs

I told him it’s difficult for me to be little around him a lot. He told me he doesn’t judge, and wants me to be openly happy with him. What’s difficult though is he’s always been a bit physically uncomfortable around me wearing diapers, so since then I’ve really had trouble getting over this anxiety.

He’s trying his best as a CG but also I can’t rely on him. He can’t always be around to baby me. As much as I need it sometimes, I can’t always be treated like a little girl.

 

[DiaperedTeddyBear]

Sometimes I just feel like I need to be “babied” so bad, it hurts. It feels confusing too. Like I’m really just a little girl needing to be taken care of and loved for who she is, not as an adult.

I know how you feel, and I've been feeling that way myself lately. I haven't had much time to be little lately, and I want to be a baby so bad right now that it hurts.

Sorry for the vent… being a little isn’t completely voluntary for me so I sometimes feel sad and small like this.

It's okay to feel sad sometimes. Don't ever be sorry for posting about your feelings. All of us ABs feel that way sometimes, and I wish more people would post about it.

Sometimes I get on here and most of the new posts are about the fun side of ABDL, and it's easy to get the impression that I'm the only one struggling emotionally. As fun as it is to be little and taken care of, being an AB also means that sometimes you'll feel isolated and uncared for or neglected. Knowing that other people feel the same way helps me feel less alone.

 

[BBBen]

Thank you @sylveonkitty and @DiaperedTeddyBear for posting your feelings.

As @DiaperedTeddyBear said, it is a side many of us did feel like, but not much speak about.

Sometimes iam struggling very much with this side, as well. Also i have a suportive wife, she couldnt do the full nurturing and care. But sometimes i want the feeling of being cared for fully.
At the same time with this feeling - i couldnt realy diaper me up, allthough i have access to diapers anytime.
i described that earlier like my inner baby realy shouts and cries and it hurts.

And then there a times, adult stress us too high. Then I know, having little time could calm me to a bettee level. But there is no chance in headspace.
How could we care more for our little me
I dont realy know

 

[DiaperedTeddyBear]

How could we care more for our little me
I dont realy know

Sometimes it's hard to feel like a baby when you have to baby yourself. But self-care is important, and your little side has needs. Sometimes the best care is just allowing myself to be sad, and that can make me feel little and help me feel better. I'll lay on my bed, hugging my teddy bear, while the tears slowly fall from my eyes. I'm not ashamed to admit that. Babies cry, and part of me is still a baby. When I was young I had a teddy bear that I'd hold when I was sad and he would make me feel better. I'm glad that I can still do that now.

 

[BBBen]

Sometimes it's hard to feel like a baby when you have to baby yourself. But self-care is important, and your little side has needs. Sometimes the best care is just allowing myself to be sad, and that can make me feel little and help me feel better. I'll lay on my bed, hugging my teddy bear, while the tears slowly fall from my eyes. I'm not ashamed to admit that. Babies cry, and part of me is still a baby. When I was young I had a teddy bear that I'd hold when I was sad and he would make me feel better. I'm glad that I can still do that now.

You are right. Sometimes i wonder, why we alway categorize feeling in bad or good, like to be happy and lucky is the only way of life.

But yeah being me isnt easy for evryone

 

[LittleAndAlone]

Try being a kid instead of a baby. Just enjoy the carefree fun while being independent. My Little age is 4-12 and I really just want to be a kid again rather than a baby, so being independent and self sufficient comes naturally. Best of both worlds!

 

[CutestPaddedFemboy]

Sometimes I just feel like I need to be “babied” so bad, it hurts. It feels confusing too. Like I’m really just a little girl needing to be taken care of and loved for who she is, not as an adult.

I feel lonely right now because there’s no one to nurture that side of me… and even if there was, I’m so terrified of judgement. I have a lot of trouble “letting loose” and really embracing my little age. I often worry it’s just uncomfortable and weird. My stressed/anxious adult mind stops me. Even around my boyfriend who tries so hard to be supportive. I just don’t feel confident letting out that side of myself around others, even if there’s support.

Sorry for the vent… being a little isn’t completely voluntary for me so I sometimes feel sad and small like this.

Your not the only one who feels this way. I feel it so much. I just want to be open with someone, but I have to keep it isolated, contained. Sometimes I can't stop it and it bursts out a little bit.

 

[mistykitty]

@sylveonkitty I know what this feels like to because I don't even have a cg or anyone that I can tell about this side of me. I agree with what many here have stated this side of us can be very freeing but also isolating. It's difficult when one thing is expected but you yourself feel entirely different. Also, as @BBBen and @DiaperedTeddyBear mentioned as well sometimes when you need it the most is when your headspace or adult side is so overwhelmed that it's difficult or not possible. I will say I like @LittleAndAlone 's idea because it's a place to start and I might have to try it next time I can't fully get littlelized. But it's true sometimes it's difficult to give our AB/Little side the attention and care it needs and understandably that impacts you eventually.

 

[sbmccue]

My thought is that, while it may seem unimportant at this point, you are both very young. That makes a difference because (a) the amount of caregiving experience your boyfriend has may be limited by the sheer fact that he hasn't been on the planet long enough and (b) because you're still learning how to interact with each other as adults.

Effectively, you're trying to interact as a small child as well, which is bound to create some difficulties.

You may need a caregiver other than your boyfriend. Is there anyone else with whom you can share this part of you and who might spend a few hours caring for you as an adult baby? Nothing prevents your boyfriend from being there at the time, of course.

I understand your situation a lot better than you think. I still struggle to be 'little' around my girlfriend, and I've known her nearly 50 years! She struggles to care for me as a baby or toddler for various reasons, despite the fact that she's quite comfortable with the tasks involved.

 

[caitianx]

I admit to this struggle as an Adult Baby over 3X your chronological age.
Sometimes I too experience feelings of being "unloved".

 

[rainbowpenguin]

I agree with DreamyDoodleBug. Tell your boyfriend because this is apart of your emotional needs. I told my fiancé and he understood.

 

[ItsyBitsyBabySara]

when I was about 5 I had two voices, an outer voice which was me and my inner voice which was a baby. The baby voice was scared, alone and felt abandoned, while my outer voice was more of a nurturing like a parent. So most of my young life I had to nurture and take care of the inner baby I would tell myself that you’re not alone and you are safe. But the inner baby would act out and throw tantrums which would also manifest itself in the real world. Over many years I’ve gotten good at taking care of my baby self. My wife thinks it’s cute that I wear girly ABDL diapers and girly pink and or cute onesies, but she had a hard time to baby me due to her health, but she tries her best.

 

[sylveonkitty]

@DiaperedTeddyBear thank you for the wonderful advice on little self-care. I do sometimes get very sad, and this can put me in a headspace where I feel very lonely and needing of care. But you’re right, I can help that by allowing myself the time and space to be sad and cuddle plushies until I feel better instead of being guilty or repressing those feelings. Thank you for sharing your emotional experience openly as well, I can heavily relate to having those moments.

@sbmccue You actually make a very good point. My boyfriend is still learning how to be my caregiver/daddy, just as much as we are both learning what dating for the long-term is like. I’m very happy with my relationship but I guess it’s ok to understand that being a little requires extra special care on top of what is already so new to both of us. He’s told me many times he is happy to care for me but I need to tell him in detail what I want, which can be scary but it’s conversations I should have.

As for bringing another CG into the dynamic, I’ve thought about it, but I don’t think I’m ready for that. Me and my boyfriend are monogamous, and would only be comfortable with me being a cared for by a CG we both know and have boundaries with. It can also be dangerous seeking out that type of relationship at my age, where some people could have malicious intent due to real age being so young still. So I don’t really want to search for a more experienced CG at the moment. However, I have supportive friends I can be little around here and there which is nice.

Also, I can’t reply to everyone, but thank you truly for all the support. I read all the stories and thoughts shared; I felt I could strongly relate to many. I’m surprised this self-judgment and loneliness as a little is so common and a lot of us struggle to feel “cared for”. I don’t see it talked about much. This is a “support forum” though so I think it’s important to share these feelings. I feel a lot better knowing I’m not alone.

 

[Halfdan]

sometimes, when feeling sad n alone, to help get into little space,
i listen to audio files, of a mommy telling me its ok to be baby, ...
as background music, with lots of positive sweet words of encouragement

https://archive.org/details/ABDL-Hypnosis/Nicole+Dosei/Xs+and+Os+-+Nicole+Dosei.mp3

 

[littlestmay]

Sometimes I just feel like I need to be “babied” so bad, it hurts. It feels confusing too. Like I’m really just a little girl needing to be taken care of and loved for who she is, not as an adult.

I feel lonely right now because there’s no one to nurture that side of me… and even if there was, I’m so terrified of judgement. I have a lot of trouble “letting loose” and really embracing my little age. I often worry it’s just uncomfortable and weird. My stressed/anxious adult mind stops me. Even around my boyfriend who tries so hard to be supportive. I just don’t feel confident letting out that side of myself around others, even if there’s support.

Sorry for the vent… being a little isn’t completely voluntary for me so I sometimes feel sad and small like this.

I can COMPLETELY relate to this, having a little side can be difficult because it is often formed through emotional needs. Having someone aknowledge that part of you can be pretty rare to find, i try just take comfort in my little side on my own, writing on this site and reading about other people going through the same things can be helpful, when i have reached Est. Contributer messaging people is something that i believe will help me too! I hope we could maybe chat sometime and that you find something that helps with this feeling, sending hugs

 

[JamisonFTM]

Sometimes I just feel like I need to be “babied” so bad, it hurts. It feels confusing too. Like I’m really just a little girl needing to be taken care of and loved for who she is, not as an adult.

I feel lonely right now because there’s no one to nurture that side of me… and even if there was, I’m so terrified of judgement. I have a lot of trouble “letting loose” and really embracing my little age. I often worry it’s just uncomfortable and weird. My stressed/anxious adult mind stops me. Even around my boyfriend who tries so hard to be supportive. I just don’t feel confident letting out that side of myself around others, even if there’s support.

Sorry for the vent… being a little isn’t completely voluntary for me so I sometimes feel sad and small like this.

Thank you for being so open and honest about your feelings. Your vulnerability will always be accepted and allow other to connect and come along side you.
Like others have said. This is a part of ABDL I think that doesn't get talked about enough. I was just trying to explain this to a friend who is learning to try and support me the best way she can (she just learned about my ABDL side and we are very close). I told her it is hard to be fully little around her or anyone else, bc I have always had to be present and responsible to a certain degree. I have only ever been able to slip far into little space by myself at home, where there is a small chance of having to do 'adult responsibilities' for the day. She felt like I couldn't trust her to be myself around her, but part of it is, I just know that she can't be everything my little needs, and that is something I can't expect of her at this stage. It's all a learning and exploring experience, and maybe slowly my little will learn that there are more tasks that they can rely on her for when we are out in public. Sshe is fairly submissive by nature, so it's also not fair of me to expect her to be something she isn't. In fact, I've found when my little comes out, she has a little that comes out too sometimes, and that is fun to explore together too.
I hope you are able to find a balance that works for you and your boyfriend, as you explore a new dynamic. Remember to be kind to yourself, your little, your bf, and know that this can be fun self exploration. At the end of the day, maybe you will both find out new exciting things about eachother, and it will bring you closer together

 

[sylveonkitty]

@JamisonFTM Thank you so much for the kind words; this is really something I needed to hear. As I explored this dynamic with my boyfriend, it has brought us closer in some ways, like we really enjoy watching kids shows and playing outside together like kids (which he told me he couldn’t imagine doing before he met me).

It’s still scary being so vulnerable; I feel like that’s just part of being a little. However, I’m so glad sharing my feelings with this site as well as my comforting has just been comforting and helpful.