Trying to understand myself - Please read

[FFB]

Hi, I am a head nurse in a hospital working long shifts, very professional with a whole team under me. No one would ever dream that I am at times padded. I am very successful in my carrier and have a full social life as well. What is that I enjoy so much when I am padded?? At times I wonder why do I need this for, I just enjoy it too much to give it up...
I have absolutely no interest in any AB things it is just the DL
Curious to hear your thoughts
Thank you

 

[goodnitelvr10]

I often times wonder why I enjoy it also. It took me many years to just embrace the fact that the thoughts aren’t going to simply “ go away”
I’m a DL myself with zero AB interests. While I have stomach issues that cause me to sometimes actually need my diaper, I often find myself putting one on as a stress relief. As soon as I slide one on the weight of the world seems to just be better if not just for a little while. They just feel good. Nobody knows what’s underneath my pants. The way I see it, diapers are a vice that’s better than say drugs or other things.

It’s ok to like diapers! It makes you feel good and that’s what matters.

 

[Deleted member 76595]

I know for me, being padded makes me feel a little more safe and secure which is really important to me- especially when I’m out In public, it helps with my anxiety . It’s helped me try things I otherwise wouldn’t have! I’m afraid of rollercoasters, but this summer my bf and I went to an amusement park and I went on 3 or 4 of the rides! I had to stop because I was getting nauseous though lol but I would have kept going! On a regular day, it helps me feel a bit more relaxed when I’m driving (driving scares me too) and it’s helped me with feeling more comfortable to venture out a bit in my town! I am a little too, so it helps me with regressing a lot too! I think I would consider myself a diaper lover too now, since I wear them regardless of my headspace. It’s possible maybe you feel the same way, a sense of more security? Or maybe it feels good physically to wear (I’ve had those moments) possibly you find it exciting having a little secret?

I know for me they mostly make me feel more safe and little, sometimes I involve them in my sexual experiences, but that’s usually if I’m already diapered and the urge hits.

It’s perfectly ok to like diapers, even if you aren’t sure what exactly draws you to them!

 

[googlyeyes467]

It's a strange beast. The attachment to diapers at times can feel like a primal urge beyond rational understanding. Though not the same thing, fetishes also seem to function on some deep emotional level. We have these attachments and we dont really know why.

It's a completely unsatisfying answer but I've tried to rationalize things for myself and it always ends up short. I've also tried to replace it with a different form of self care and it just doesn't work. So now I just enjoy.

I also have a great career, partner, and full social life as well. Yet, the diapers, and for me AB tendencies, still remain. But they are just one aspect of my multifaceted life.

 

[TrueHero]

You and me both! If we had the answer it would be worth a Nobel prize.
I think people generally don’t control what interests them. It’s more like our interests grip us! Almost like an external force. And that goes for interests outside the more rare and societally deviant. I don’t choose to enjoy wearing diapers. It’s just something I can’t stop thinking about! I don’t choose to enjoy stories and see the art of storytelling as magical, it just manifests itself. I’m drawn to those things. I could talk about Dungeons and Dragons all day and not get tired of it. That’s not something that I chose.
Give me an evening playing dnd with the guys while I’m wearing a diaper and there’s not much that could ruin my mood. For several days! It’s just that awesome!

 

[PupSpaz]

When it came to my love of diapers, I simply had to give up on trying to figure out the why of it and embrace the fact that it is part of me and I'm stuck with it - might as well enjoy it instead of fighting it. It may not be as well accepted or known in society, but it's not hurting anyone else and it makes my life so much better simply acccepting and enjoying it. Any guilt or shame is simply a social construct and unnecessary barrier to living my best life!

 

[TenaBunny]

Putting on a diaper and plastic pants for me is almost as good as wearing a dress or miniskirt with stockings. It just make me feel relaxed, normal, safe etc. I can't explain it, it just is

 

[Pelusos]

I can only repeat what was said before me. I like wearing just because I like it. I'm DL since age 6 and I tortured myself with the questions for 20 years: why do I need this? Why am I so strange? Science of psyhology trys to give answere, I've read them many times but these are too "dry“answers, not enought to me. I do it just because I like it, not hurt anyone, not hurt myself. I live a complete life with great job, in marriege with children and cool old friends. I wish everybody had such a foolish hobby like ours.

 

[SparkyDog]

@FFB

when did you start padding up?

Sounds like you have a stressful job

I find diapers extremely comfortable
Help me function day to day
While I have to wear for IC I have liked diapers since I was a wee lad
Diapers keep my anxiety down and my PTSD is way more manageable

Its ok to use a diaper as security blanket you wear.

 

[Drifter]

This question keeps coming up and my answer is always the same: it is the result of the same natural process everyone goes through that assigns everyone the social/sexual attachments they will most likely have for the rest of their lives. The process, known as imprinting, is not a psychological theory but an observable, testable phenomenon that has been observed by some for thousands of years, and modern science has been studying since the 1950s with repeatable test results.

 

[TabaCrate]

I have a simple question: is it an issue for you to like something that is not hurting anybody and makes you feel good?
Of course it's not socially understood but it doesn't harm you. Knowing why will not help you to stop the need to wear...
If it is impacting your day to day life, then you might want to seek for help.

After more than 1/2 a century, I stopped to try to find an explanation. I finally decided to accept who I am!

 

[Cottontail]

This question keeps coming up and my answer is always the same: it is the result of the same natural process everyone goes through that assigns everyone the social/sexual attachments they will most likely have for the rest of their lives.

Yeah, but these processes are deeply unsatisfying as answers, sort of like "human reproduction" is unsatisfying as an answer to "Why am I here?" They're impersonal. They don't really say anything about an individual instance. When somebody asks why they like diapers, I think it's pretty much implied that they're looking for the individual reason--the unique inputs to the process that created the attraction, not the process itself. Common processes don't differentiate us. The inputs do.

And for better or worse, in this case, the inputs are probably not knowable. Not, at least, to the extent that would be required to explain why I ended up attached to diapers while somebody else didn't.

After more than 1/2 a century, I stopped to try to find an explanation. I finally decided to accept who I am!

A half-century of DL-ness is right around the corner for me. It still amuses me to ponder explanations, but I've accepted that the answers just aren't there. Yes, this stuff can be a bit socially burdensome, and denying it can be altogether quite burdensome, but it's very possible to have a full and happy life while nurturing an affection for diapers. And in fact nurturing it, at least for me, has turned it from an all-consuming obsession into something positive. A little regular indulgence can go a long way.

 

[DinoFrant]

Your choice of underwear has nothing to do with professional success or a full social agenda... you make it sound as if diapers were on the opposite end, and that´s not good for you because you´ll be feeling terribly guilty every time you give in to wearing diapers. You´re too worried about what others might think about the type of underwear you like when most likely nobody gives a damn or, at most, they´re picturing standard cotton underwear... not to mention that actually it´s nobody´s business what you do in the backstage of your own life. Maybe try some self-acceptance therapy? That worked for me

 

[Napincolove]

Myself like so many on here used to torture myself about loving plastic/Rubber pants and Nappies, from being really young and trying on baby Rubber pants when I was so small they still fitted me I was hooked.
I spent years binging and purging and always feeling guilty WHY !
It is who I am and now being ic I get to live the dream.
Nobody gives a toss what underwear I use but they would if I was not wearing and leaving puddles on their furniture beds floors etc.
Bottom line is just be who you really are and the rest of the world can go and suck it up.

 

[Drifter]

And for better or worse, in this case, the inputs are probably not knowable. Not, at least, to the extent that would be required to explain why I ended up attached to diapers while somebody else didn't.

I agree that the exact situation that leads to a lifelong attraction to diapers may never be known. But the process that causes these things has been researched well enough that the scientific community no longer looks at these things as evidence of mental illness. Most people today still search for psychological issues, aka mental illnesses, as the cause of uncommon attractions like this. The problem with this approach is that it always leaves the feeling that there is something wrong with these kinds of attractions; something that should be addressed medically and/or politically. Most people don't yet understand that the process that creates uncommon desires involving love and/or sexuality, is the same process that creates the only widely accepted human characteristic involving love and sex: heterosexuality.

 

[JDCH]

Like you, I am DL with no real AB interests. I tried it a few times but it just wasn't for me.

Also like you, I have a job that people usually respect, requires a high degree of competence and generally puts me in the category of persons with jobs that people tend to trust.

So . . . why do I enjoy wearing and wetting diapers? I haven't the foggiest idea. But I do. Ultimately, what I choose to do satisfies me and has no negative impacts on others. I wear at an appropriate time and place. I don't force my fetish on others and if I do go out in public wearing a diaper, I have taken reasonable precautions that the average person would not know.

Which brings me to your job. Certainly you have had the occasion to see a patient admitted to care wearing a diaper that you would not have otherwise guessed was doing so. I can appreciate that it must put you in a slightly uncomfortable position but I am willing to be that the quality of your care was at or above standard whether this person had incontinence issues or simply enjoyed wearing and their day took an unexpected turn.

I acknowledge that our interests are, to most people, odd. But they are harmless in the main. My unsolicited advice is a twist on the Hippocratic Oath -- do what makes you happy so long as it also does no harm.

 

[mantilla]

Hi, I am a head nurse in a hospital working long shifts, very professional with a whole team under me. No one would ever dream that I am at times padded.

Why would you think that your profession or success has anything to do with what you feel attracted to?

 

[jbond007]

Hi, I am a head nurse in a hospital working long shifts, very professional with a whole team under me. No one would ever dream that I am at times padded. I am very successful in my carrier and have a full social life as well. What is that I enjoy so much when I am padded?? At times I wonder why do I need this for, I just enjoy it too much to give it up...
I have absolutely no interest in any AB things it is just the DL
Curious to hear your thoughts
Thank you

I thinks it's only natural to wonder why we have acquired this predilection; it's our human curiosity. No one has the answer. There may be different answers for different people. Even if you think you've found the answer, you could never prove it. Therefore, I wouldn't waste any of your precious life beating your head against the wall over it. The most important thing to remember is the, even if you found the answer and could prove that you knew it, you probably couldn't use your newfound knowledge to change the first thing. Don't get too caught up in it; just live it and enjoy it.

 

[ianwee]

Hi, I am a head nurse in a hospital working long shifts, very professional with a whole team under me. No one would ever dream that I am at times padded. I am very successful in my carrier and have a full social life as well. What is that I enjoy so much when I am padded?? At times I wonder why do I need this for, I just enjoy it too much to give it up...
I have absolutely no interest in any AB things it is just the DL
Curious to hear your thoughts
Thank you

Welcome FFB. There are lots of us here who are DL, so you have come to the right place.
To answer your question "What is it that I enjoy when I am padded?" I think only you will know the true answer to that. For some of us it is the feeling of security that it gives us, for others it is the comfort of wearing, we all probably have different reasons, but nonetheless we are all part of community here that accepts and supports others with similar interests. I hope you enjoy it here.

 

[Elhon]

I can only really talk about my own experience but for me, it is a comfort thing. I am fairly incontinent and have never been fully potty trained. I only "stopped" to a large extent from when I was thirteen and gave up by twenty-one. I wet on accident during movies, while drunk. long car trips, when sick, or when asleep, and have always done so. Going back just has me feel kind of like I am around age ten again (I am thirty-seven) and giving up something so basic is just comforting for whatever reason.