To Tell, or Not?

[Jojo54]

I guess I'm different, I'll tell anyone who asks and not worry about it. I feel if they would end a friendship over my undergarments that's there problem.

I guess I was lucky when I first started wearing them my best male friend a very rough and rowdy man ask me if I was wearing a diaper and I said yes. He said ok never asked why and he actually would find diapers at garage or estate sales for me, he was a true friend.

My best female friend noticed I had diapers on and her reaction was awesome, she felt my rear and said are you wet and laughed. Then she said if you need help changing them or putting on, don't forget I ran I daycare for years so I'm a expert.

And my family was fine with it and both daughters are always in pursuing diapers for me to which is nice being on a fixed income.

I always tell whoever I'm seeing before we go out so there are no surprises.

I guess I'm very different with my attitude and lucky I have accepting friends and family

 

[K911]

Well, i got spotted by a colleague when i went to the office, where i dont often go since i work from home, and what i figured is that she probably saw the edge of my diaper or when i stood up from the chair, there is a distinct diaper shape before i can adjust or cover up the front. She just asked and i just tell. She actually asked about it again when we have drinks at the bar with another colleague and after the colleague left. so i tell her more and figured that she was way too curious and actually has an interest in diapers. I offered one to her jokingly as i have spares, she took it and say she is going to try it out on her way home cauze shes running the toilet too much cauze of the drinks and says she has small bladders.
Never know how it went but she is closer to me now cauze we share a secret. I guess its a good thing?

Other than that, i never told anyone else. Even my family dosent really know i am incontinent. Lets just say im not really close with my family, but i guess my mom at some point figured out where my diaper stash is when i stayed with her.

 

[Jaspy]

I’ll pretense this by saying that I’m a non-fetish little. My sister has known since we were both preteens. We were really close to each other, so it never was an issue; we both had a habit of disclosing stuff to each other that we didn’t need to. My mother knows, but she thinks it’s strange. She’s a psychologist though, so she understands that there’s an underlying reason for all of it. My father caught me once, and it didn’t go well, but it was in a very dark place in my life and he was
already fuming about some other stuff. I’ve had two incidents afterwards that I’ve strongly thought about telling him, but I always decide against it after about 10 minutes. I don’t have friends, nor am I romantic with anyone, so there’s really nobody else to debate telling.

 

[lilmommasboy]

I’ll pretense this by saying that I’m a non-fetish little. My sister has known since we were both preteens. We were really close to each other, so it never was an issue; we both had a habit of disclosing stuff to each other that we didn’t need to. My mother knows, but she thinks it’s strange. She’s a psychologist though, so she understands that there’s an underlying reason for all of it. My father caught me once, and it didn’t go well, but it was in a very dark place in my life and he was
already fuming about some other stuff. I’ve had two incidents afterwards that I’ve strongly thought about telling him, but I always decide against it after about 10 minutes. I don’t have friends, nor am I romantic with anyone, so there’s really nobody else to debate telling.

I sympathize with you, some people we already know just won’t understand are often the easiest to tell once we are up to it. My mother is the only one I just can’t tell, she I military and I think she would prob send me off if I told.

 

[LittleDiaperDreamer]

I'm debating wether or not to tell my parents I wear. I'll explain : I like to wear diapers at night (and sometimes during the day) to help with my anxiety and well, I was used to wear and then purge and wear again... you know the drill. But recently I came to the conclusion that it's becoming way harder for me not to wear for long period of times. I'm a student and this summer I'll spend more than a month home and I'm already depressed thinking about this time...
I know that, if I explained the whole dl thing to my parents they wouldn't get it my best shot would be to say that I wet the bed and I need them - which I wouldn't mind at all as I wouldn't like to go into the details with them (nor do they need to know actually). I just wish they would respect my privacy. Like I'm an adult and I don't live with them anymore, I just happen to come visit and I wish I wouldn't feel judged for something personal. Maybe I'm too pessimistic, but I'm really fearing my mom would constantly mention it / or / be obviously bothered by me wearing, even if I'm super discreet and I only wear at night... I don't know what to do and it makes me even more anxious lol

 

[Jaspy]

I'm debating wether or not to tell my parents I wear. I'll explain : I like to wear diapers at night (and sometimes during the day) to help with my anxiety and well, I was used to wear and then purge and wear again... you know the drill. But recently I came to the conclusion that it's becoming way harder for me not to wear for long period of times. I'm a student and this summer I'll spend more than a month home and I'm already depressed thinking about this time...
I know that, if I explained the whole dl thing to my parents they wouldn't get it my best shot would be to say that I wet the bed and I need them - which I wouldn't mind at all as I wouldn't like to go into the details with them (nor do they need to know actually). I just wish they would respect my privacy. Like I'm an adult and I don't live with them anymore, I just happen to come visit and I wish I wouldn't feel judged for something personal. Maybe I'm too pessimistic, but I'm really fearing my mom would constantly mention it / or / be obviously bothered by me wearing, even if I'm super discreet and I only wear at night... I don't know what to do and it makes me even more anxious lol

Here’s my advice, I still live with my parents, and they don’t know that I sometimes wear. Get a pack of something discreet (preferably medical branding like Abena) and get some wipes. If you aren’t making it obvious, they don’t need to know. You can keep a scented trash bag and throw it in the trash when the scent starts to be overpowered by ammonia. You can spray some febreez in the bag before you toss it to keep the smell from permeating around the dumpster. The last thing your parents are going to do is dig through the trash to see what you throw away. If they find out and ask, have a solid, in-depth, and logical explanation prepared. Explain what it means to you, and what you believe has caused it. Make the point that you’re an adult and you are doing something that makes you feel happier. Say that you know it’s weird, but it’s a part of who you are and that you aren’t comfortable giving it up. If they react poorly at first, don’t engage in that conversation and wait until emotions have cooled and calmly approach the conversation. You can get through this my friend.

 

[LittleDiaperDreamer]

Here’s my advice, I still live with my parents, and they don’t know that I sometimes wear. Get a pack of something discreet (preferably medical branding like Abena) and get some wipes. If you aren’t making it obvious, they don’t need to know. You can keep a scented trash bag and throw it in the trash when the scent starts to be overpowered by ammonia. You can spray some febreez in the bag before you toss it to keep the smell from permeating around the dumpster. The last thing your parents are going to do is dig through the trash to see what you throw away. If they find out and ask, have a solid, in-depth, and logical explanation prepared. Explain what it means to you, and what you believe has caused it. Make the point that you’re an adult and you are doing something that makes you feel happier. Say that you know it’s weird, but it’s a part of who you are and that you aren’t comfortable giving it up. If they react poorly at first, don’t engage in that conversation and wait until emotions have cooled and calmly approach the conversation. You can get through this my friend.

Thank you very much for this detailed answer. I'll have to find a way as I will be very depressed if I can't wear. I won't go into details but my mother is a bit of a cleaning freak and the trash can in my room is only a little paper basket, so not ideal. But maybe there's a way to find a solution. I mean I wouldn't mind them to know that I wear, I just don't want to explain too much but most of all I don't want them to take care of anything or drag me to the doctor thinking I have a physical / or / psychological problem...

 

[Jaspy]

Thank you very much for this detailed answer. I'll have to find a way as I will be very depressed if I can't wear. I won't go into details but my mother is a bit of a cleaning freak and the trash can in my room is only a little paper basket, so not ideal. But maybe there's a way to find a solution. I mean I wouldn't mind them to know that I wear, I just don't want to explain too much but most of all I don't want them to take care of anything or drag me to the doctor thinking I have a physical / or / psychological problem...

Take them out daily instead, bring grocery bags and throw them in the dumpster in smaller numbers. That should solve that problem. Make sure there’s no dirty ones in your room whenever you leave while your mother will stay home.

 

[LittleDiaperDreamer]

Take them out daily instead, bring grocery bags and throw them in the dumpster in smaller numbers. That should solve that problem. Make sure there’s no dirty ones in your room whenever you leave while your mother will stay home.

Thank you very much! I’ll come up with a plan

 

[pierrelebleu]

I just don't want to explain too much but most of all I don't want them to take care of anything or drag me to the doctor thinking I have a physical / or / psychological problem...

Why should they take you to a doctor? As an independent adult, just tell them, "It's a medical issue, and I wear on the advice of my own doctor." Here (in the UK) once you're an adult, all of your medical concerns are totally private and covered by client confidentiality. You have your own choice of doctor, and they should never discuss anything with any other member of your family without your express consent. Plus, I would tell my own parents, "You don't need to know about my medical issues (anyway, I can manage things myself), it is not your concern. I have a doctor for that." In this conversation, for 'doctor' you can substitute 'psychologist', or 'therapist', or any other profession you so choose. Hope this idea helps.

 

[PearlandDL]

I'm debating wether or not to tell my parents I wear. I'll explain : I like to wear diapers at night (and sometimes during the day) to help with my anxiety and well, I was used to wear and then purge and wear again... you know the drill. But recently I came to the conclusion that it's becoming way harder for me not to wear for long period of times. I'm a student and this summer I'll spend more than a month home and I'm already depressed thinking about this time...
I know that, if I explained the whole dl thing to my parents they wouldn't get it my best shot would be to say that I wet the bed and I need them - which I wouldn't mind at all as I wouldn't like to go into the details with them (nor do they need to know actually). I just wish they would respect my privacy. Like I'm an adult and I don't live with them anymore, I just happen to come visit and I wish I wouldn't feel judged for something personal. Maybe I'm too pessimistic, but I'm really fearing my mom would constantly mention it / or / be obviously bothered by me wearing, even if I'm super discreet and I only wear at night... I don't know what to do and it makes me even more anxious lol

You'll have to think carefully about whether or not to tell her but even if you're careful, there is always the possibility of getting caught so it is always good to have something logical thought out ahead of time, just in case. Depending on how nosey she is, you can probably get away with hiding diapers, even used ones. A trick I've used when traveling with other people is to have the clean ones in my luggage and have some extra shopping bags as well. When I use one and need to get rid of it, I'll put it in a shopping bag and put that in my luggage until I get a change to go out. Then I'll move that into a backpack and throw it out somewhere besides where I am staying, like in a public restroom, dumpster, etc. That way no one sees anything, there is no trash for anyone to go through, and I don't get caught unless the people around me completely invade my privacy by going through my luggage and backpack (so far no one has done that).

 

[Iceice]

The only person that knows about me is my wife and she found out by accident ( which I know understand was a massive mistake and I should have told her earlier).

It was very hard at the time and one of the comments i got at the time was " I wish I had caught you cheating instead at least I could leave you then" [emoji22]. This broke my hart and still hurts to this day .

We worked though it and she is at least tolerant now.

I wish some times i could stop so i could be the man she wants me to be but have tryed meny times.[emoji22]


Basically be very very careful who you tell.

And you are right significant others should be told. As them finding out by accident can be so damaging.

Sent from my SM-G965F using Tapatalk

Sorry to hear about what happened to. It's not anyone place to say anything, but as a stranger I feel like maybe this is useful for you...

If not I appologize for not respecting your boundaries.

I think that what she said still hurts because it was truthful. The fact that it still stings is indicative of you not receiving enough repentance for the comment she made. For what it's worth, a comment like that, at all, in my personal opinion, is too disrespectful towards you to have any resolution that includes staying together. If a partner said that to me, I'd be gone. I would have to because those are some serious words she said. It's the unilateral equivalent of i don't love you anymore because of this, but because my "image" as a "good person" would be ruined if I left you, I won't leave you.

It stings probably because your gut is telling you the truth. And it's screaming at you do take care of yourself, and develop healthy boundaries.

What she said, in my opinion, is more hurtful than a bullet. It hurts. Too much to recover a relationship from. Those words betray her promise to you and her when you and her kissed at the altar. They are morally cruel.

Your worth it. And I wanted to say, if you ever do decide to leave that person, only you are the final judge of your morality. Not your mom. Your dad. Friends. Whoever, and literally noone but you gets to decide what makes you feel like you did the right thing. I say this, because this scenario screams at me the same way I witnessed my parent break up after a long 13 years of being together for the wrong reason. I heard these words in a different context, from both of them.

"Stay together for the kids" is not an appropriate reason to continue a relationship. As a matter of fact, kids are intuitive. I knew since I was 6 something was off. And I wasn't even remotely surprised at 13 after all the shit I saw. It was all over a silly "image" that they think is supposed to matter to family and friends. Your community should NEVER hold you morally accountable for making a decision that is healthy for yourself. And if they do. Well. Actions speak louder than words.

The only person that you can ACTUALLY rely on till the day your 6 feet under is yourself.

I may be completely off base on this, but I feel like it's worth throwing it out there. In case I am right...

What your wife said, is not right. It's literally narcissism unmasked. I know because I have fallen victim to narcissism and manipulation, and it took me till later adulthood to figure out. And it wasn't fun.

Comments like that hurt, because those are not normal things to say when you actually care about someone. I know even if I had a partner if they told me they were a murderer, my first response isn't to say something that hurtful. I would inquire and question them. But to immediately lash out with that kind of degrading and disrespectful comment. That's a lot. To form those words at all, there was a degree of intent. That I'm very sure of. And that intent is what you sensed at the time, and still remember. Because how could there not be any intent behind words like those? If I were right about all this, I'd bet money she would have made excuses as to why she reacted that way. And said I didn't mean it. "Hearing something like that would make most people react the way I did" " I just had to process it properly, and now that I have, I didn't mean it"

When you care about someone, be it a friend even, you don't say shit this deep. Hell, I didn't even say anything nasty to my friend of 8 years I had to cut ties with forcefully last year, because even if someone's being a narcissist, i still loved and respected what i loved and respected about them. That doesn't get erased because there's a part of someone you didn't know when you formulates those feelings. That doesn't just blink out of existence. Because my ex-friend IS still wickedly smart, and very funny, a lot of fun to spend time with. The only difference between them and now, is i realized I cannot cope with his downsides, that comes with EVERY friendship. His downsides where an extreme level of narcissism, that nearly drove me insane, but I learned alot about myself, and how to find my direction and happiness in life. He was a part of my life, that will never change. But there's 8 billion people in the world. And just because you legally married someone, does not actually mean jack shit when it comes to your agency as an individual. The world isn't going to end if someone leaves a partner. But most people I think look at it in that light. And I understand why.

With that all said. You are the one who chooses what bothers you, not me. And if you are happy. Then my comment wasn't needed, and I'm genuinely happy that you are happy.

Regards, a worried dude.

 

[artemisenterri]

I made the mistake of telling my wife, way back in 1992 at the start of our relationship. She has since used that information as a weapon against me, constantly threating to "out" me to the world, and more specifically to our friends and the members of her family, people who we babysat for and whose children I was involved with diapers changes for...

I fear that if she ever tells them, they'll come looking for "redneck backwoods justice" because she'll "spin the tale" making me into a p(you-know-what) and predator...