Time News Article - “Shame of the Adult Bedwetter”

[huggiesthick]

Just sharing an article I read today.

The Shame of the Adult Bedwetter

Nocturnal enuresis—or bedwetting—is a physical condition, but the consequences are all emotional.

time.com

 

[Sophy]

Thanks for sharing!
I think it’s always extremely important to talk about the topic of bedwetting and/or incontinence in order to normalise it and remove the social stigma around it, especially if done by big news outlets like the Time. It’s one of the very few medical conditions for which people have been conditioned to feel ashamed and guilty about which couldn’t be any more distant from the truth.

 

[bedwetterdavid]

I was happy to see that article too! One thing that jumped out at me, that was kind of a bummer, was the following sentence:

But a fear of being outed in real life—and the fetishests who reportedly prowl the forum—means that building one-on-one connections there can be difficult.

I wish the author understood that many of us who are bedwetters have fetishes born out of the trauma of that bedwetting. I know for me personally, it was so humiliating as a child that my brain chose to fetishize it as a means of dealing with it. Otherwise I'd have probably un-alived myself.

I do understand that there are creeps here who prey on other's experiences and ruin it for everyone, but I'm not sure you can wholesale dismiss "fetishists" from bedwetters as two different groups. One often leads to the other.

 

[Wetshisbed]

Can't honestly say I've ever felt any shame about my bedwetting. Growing up I just didn't care and couldn't see what all the fuss was about. When it came back again I just accepted it and embraced it.

 

[hbic60]

I was happy to see that article too! One thing that jumped out at me, that was kind of a bummer, was the following sentence:

But a fear of being outed in real life—and the fetishests who reportedly prowl the forum—means that building one-on-one connections there can be difficult.

I wish the author understood that many of us who are bedwetters have fetishes born out of the trauma of that bedwetting. I know for me personally, it was so humiliating as a child that my brain chose to fetishize it as a means of dealing with it. Otherwise I'd have probably un-alived myself.

I do understand that there are creeps here who prey on other's experiences and ruin it for everyone, but I'm not sure you can wholesale dismiss "fetishists" from bedwetters as two different groups. One often leads to the other.

But that's something we experience also here in this IC Forum at ADISC - some (for sure not all, don't get me wrong l!!) ABDL people try from time to time to intrude this section with their fetish point of view trying to move the border what is accepted here towards their interests... how often do we have to set a reminder post referring to the basic rules of this IC forum? How often do we have to hit the "Report" button for inappropriate posts?
I really appreciate every valid post in IC forum, no matter if it's coming from an IC or AB or DL or anything else, as long as it is related to the subject and written in a nice and respectful manner and without pointing out a fetish related view!

 

[newt]

Thanks for sharing!
I think it’s always extremely important to talk about the topic of bedwetting and/or incontinence in order to normalise it and remove the social stigma around it, especially if done by big news outlets like the Time. It’s one of the very few medical conditions for which people have been conditioned to feel ashamed and guilty about which couldn’t be any more distant from the truth.

This 1000%! First dealing with incontinence and especially diapers was a significantly difficult time in my life. My confidence tanked. I felt so ashamed and guilty.

And for what? In the medical scheme of things, incontinence (unless part of a greater medical problem) is extremely mild for health risks. I do not need to worry about it killing me or causing some greater disability. But the negative feelings it comes with is wildly disproportionate to that.

Normalizing it and ending the stigma would VASTLY reduce the mental burden that comes with the problem because incontinence is really not much more than a physical inconvenience.

 

[Subtlerustle]

Genuinely a pretty good article. I wet the bed as a kid occasionally but it was kept in house so there was never any embarrassment. Kids can be so cruel so I can’t imagine the trauma this could cause. You can see how diapers could become an emotional crutch as they are the tool keep the secret hidden. What happens from there is a matter of luck imo.

 

[slimjiminy]

This 1000%! First dealing with incontinence and especially diapers was a significantly difficult time in my life. My confidence tanked. I felt so ashamed and guilty.

And for what? In the medical scheme of things, incontinence (unless part of a greater medical problem) is extremely mild for health risks. I do not need to worry about it killing me or causing some greater disability. But the negative feelings it comes with is wildly disproportionate to that.

It's taken me a couple of years to accept my current condition. But when it comes to the problem possibly becoming known to someone outside my circle of trust, I am still mortified. I know I can deal with it, but I fear it none-the-less.

 

[SparkyDog]

I was an odd child and didn't care who knew or saw me in a diaper.
but I know people who struggle daily with their bed wetting secret. It's a shame the diaper stigma is still alive & well to this very day

 

[Wetshisbed]

I was an odd child and didn't care who knew or saw me in a diaper.
but I know people who struggle daily with their bed wetting secret. It's a shame the diaper stigma is still alive & well to this very day

Same here I just didn't care who knew I wet the bed.

 

[Greenknees5]

That was rather encouraging, I'll say. One day I'll post my history related to bedwetting here. Not horribly different than other people, but slight twists.

 

[wordencole]

I was happy to see that article too! One thing that jumped out at me, that was kind of a bummer, was the following sentence:

But a fear of being outed in real life—and the fetishests who reportedly prowl the forum—means that building one-on-one connections there can be difficult.

I wish the author understood that many of us who are bedwetters have fetishes born out of the trauma of that bedwetting. I know for me personally, it was so humiliating as a child that my brain chose to fetishize it as a means of dealing with it. Otherwise I'd have probably un-alived myself.

I do understand that there are creeps here who prey on other's experiences and ruin it for everyone, but I'm not sure you can wholesale dismiss "fetishists" from bedwetters as two different groups. One often leads to the other.

I can honestly relate to everything you said. Especially as a late bedwetter as a kid. Taking sleeping bags to sleep overs that would end up soaked as a kid/teen. I always wondered where my “fetish” started and why it started. Looking back now that I’m full blown IC at 38, I remember being in the gym noticing large wet spots in my 20’s, sometimes nighttime accidents in my 20’s and early 30’s grouping that in to excessive drinking (although 4 years sober now). Looking back and linking things together there were signs obviously I just didn’t know it at the time.

 

[sledder23]

Definitely a good article. I always had a plastic mattress protector on my bed and when friends can over, it was no mystery that I was a bed wetter. My family kept it private and if friends knew, they never said anything. At sleep overs, I was the kid that didn’t sleep. It was only one night, and I could catch up on sleep when I got home. OAB as a kid/teen was easier to conceal because it rarely resulted in wet clothes.

The hardest change was urge incontinence setting in a few years ago with the Type 2 and knowing I’ll have to wear diapers the rest of my life. It’s been accepted and it doesn’t bother me much. Granted, I don’t go televise the condition, and I keep this to myself with only a select few ever knowing, I have found I can lead a normal life. If someone else finds out, it’s a medical condition that I have and manage. Nothing more. No one’s ever asked, and I’ve played golf in front of groups of people with an untucked shirt and Gary Active Brief covers showing in the backswing. It was passed off as regular underwear with no diaper showing and wearing a size larger shorts. Do I keep this private? Sure do. No one needs to know what kind of underwear I have on. Most people are more absorbed in their daily lives to care anyway.

So go out, enjoy life, and don’t worry about bladder and bowel problems. Just manage it appropriately and life is good.

 

[sport1]

I can relate to bed wetting very may have been slow on potty training but was able to start school without diapers. I was continent for several years except certain times but in my 50's began losing some control when returned to diapers that is when the humiliating part came in.When my wife and I would go on a trip would have to pack diapers and pants. I have prostate along with being autistic.

 

[Diprs2]

I was happy to see that article too! One thing that jumped out at me, that was kind of a bummer, was the following sentence:

But a fear of being outed in real life—and the fetishests who reportedly prowl the forum—means that building one-on-one connections there can be difficult.

I wish the author understood that many of us who are bedwetters have fetishes born out of the trauma of that bedwetting. I know for me personally, it was so humiliating as a child that my brain chose to fetishize it as a means of dealing with it. Otherwise I'd have probably un-alived myself.

I do understand that there are creeps here who prey on other's experiences and ruin it for everyone, but I'm not sure you can wholesale dismiss "fetishists" from bedwetters as two different groups. One often leads to the other.

Betterwetterdavid: I totally agree with what you wrote! I'm almost 100% certain that I developed this fetish related to how I was treated because of my bedwetting. My Mother was dealing with a lot when I was little and I know her putting me in diapers again for bedwetting is responsible for me being a DL my whole life.

 

[mattyd]

Very good article. I missed out on so many social experiences as a kid. I wet the bed many days each week until I was 13. Then it was less common after that. Still have had it a few times each year, even now just hitting 40. Bed wetting pushed me to desire diapers just to stay dry through the night. Pretty certain without it, I would never have became a DL. Also wish they had goodnites when I was in elementary school, I think it would have helped me get through some of that. My parents just did the plastic sheets route and so many washer loads.

 

[Wetshisbed]

Very good article. I missed out on so many social experiences as a kid. I wet the bed many days each week until I was 13. Then it was less common after that. Still have had it a few times each year, even now just hitting 40. Bed wetting pushed me to desire diapers just to stay dry through the night. Pretty certain without it, I would never have became a DL. Also wish they had goodnites when I was in elementary school, I think it would have helped me get through some of that. My parents just did the plastic sheets route and so many washer loads.

My bedwetting never stopped me doing anything I wanted to do. My friends and family all knew I wet the bed most nights and it wasn't a problem. From being about 9 until 15 it was just a plastic sheet and a towel under my sheet to soak up the excess pee. Then after 15 after a other doctors visit and subsequent referral to the NHS continence service I had big blue disposable nappies and a proper fitted cover for my bed.
Back then there weren't sleep overs or many school trips.

 

[Deleted member 39574]

Thanks for sharing this article. The line about “setting the expectation that if their child is wet in the morning, they’ve already lost for the day. They already feel bad” was relevant relevant for me. I remember waking up wet and sitting at the breakfast table and breaking down in tears worried about being scolded or punished or ridiculed. I also remember wetting the bed (the sleeping bag and mattress) at summer sports camp one year. That was dealt with really well by the cabin counselor but when I think about the incident I never forget the shame I felt that morning.

 

[Teddy02]

I think my parents would have been much tougher on me if it were not for the fact that my father was a bedwetter in his youth. I suffered also with dyslexia before the word was even known. The result was that I always felt stupid as well as being unable to hold the night time wees. Waking up wet every night and never really getting a good night’s sleep took it’s tole, and even asking my mother for nappies when I was ten (she turned me down) took a lot of courage. They sent me to a UK boarding school at 12 probably to see if it ‘manned me up’, but I just wet the bed there, just less frequently. None of this did the self esteem much good. I was not dry until I reached about 18, then, predictably secondary enuresis/daytime incontinence kicked in and I have been wet ever since, more or less. I found that wearing nappies full time after I left home was very calming and I could spend time doing the things that mattered and not worrying about wetting my pants. I also found that I liked being on my own for long periods of time With no pressure from others, real or imagined.

 

[inconowl]

Over all a good article in my opinion, as a life long bed wetter I’m all for the topic being brought up especially with more mainstream publications. The more it’s talked about and understood, the more I believe it’ll help those who deal alone and are to nurse or afraid to talk to their doctor. But if a good quality article comes out it gives them the ice breaker they might need to brooch the subject with a professional. Not to mention the fact that it will help kill the social stigmas surrounding incontinence little by little