Thoughts on the AB/DL dating scene?

[GoatZombie]

Fetlife is good for meeting people, but women tend to be bombarded with so many messages that they need to filter a lot of crap to communicate with anyone worthwhile.

In person events are your best bet since the gender ratio is more even and people tend to behave better when they’re not online.

 

[BigAl2]

“Female” no wonder its hard for you to find a gal

Im married to a wonderful woman.

 

[Dakota13]

I'm just gonna say this too, on top of the whole abdl thing: modern dating sucks, and it's even worse if your not living in the area your from. I just spell it out on my dating profile, I'm not vanilla, and open minded. If they like the rest, and want to ask. Then there's a chance.

 

[Harut]

I know this was posted a while ago but saw it pop up. I wouldn’t dwell on the abdl lifestyle scene. I personally didn’t. I dwelled on the finding the best person in the entire world scene. They loved me and I loved them first. Then I slowly opened up to them about this side. It was rough at times but here we are 11 years later them putting me into a diaper, changing me, checking me, diaper sexy time. And now it’s a major part of our life because it was a major part of my life. No predisposing on their end and welcomed me after a lot of open communication and vocalization of needs on both ends. Good luck’s I hope you find your match. But remember don’t force it. Kinda like a fart. If you push to hard it’s prolly gonna be crap. lol

 

[justadreamer]

Haven’t been able to find anyone who is into it. I’m always forward about my diaper fetish when I date someone. Let’s just say, I’m still alone lol.

 

[paul484819]

Hi I am married develop I.C when I was 58 after an op, started to wet the bed so to stop wetting the bed at night time I brought some diapers so my wife was happy with that but she has not real said weather she likes them or not , me I like wearing them IC is a good reason to keep wearing, I have brought ABDL style into the mix and ask her for comment her answer was I don't care as long as the bed stays dry, so green light to wear what I want, so I think best to find someone you like first and then bring in to the mix later and see how it goes if she loves you It shouldn't be a problem.

 

[stinkape]

I met the woman that was to become my wife about 31 yrs ago . I hid this part of myself from her for about 11 years , as it was even hard for me to except , and then one evening after an intimate time together I reluctantly told her , it was also shortly after we lost our son and I was having a hard time with deep depression .
Well she had a few questions and felt a little hurt , the timing really sucked and to be honest with myself it was probably an attempt at self sabotage, she still loved me but I believe inside she pulled away from the subject and really couldn’t deal with it at the time, a big (DUUHH ) on my part .

It wasn’t really until my daughter left for college about 13 yrs later that she was able to really come to terms with it .
Since now we are empty nesters , I buy what ever diapers l like , she really likes me to wear crinkles because they don’t look so institutional and have such a whimsical look to them .Me , I like a mix of plain white and AB designer diapers but when it’s her choice AB diapers win without a doubt.

I really love my wife for everything she is and all that she has given me and I still enjoy making love with her but these days it’s very rare that she will allow me to have regular intercourse with her to which I do enjoy . Now I must wear a diaper while she stimulates me with a magic wand while sucking at her breast. She also enjoys the gratification she gets from the wand and the best part for her is that there’s no mess that she has to deal with personally . I reckon it’s only fair for her but like I said i really like vanilla sex also.

 

[Traveler]

I told my gf, now wife of over a decade, right when we first started getting serious. She was very open to it and tried it soon after. For her it's a sometimes thing to spice up bedroom life, and she's worn around the house a few times and really enjoys it in the bedroom. Since our kid was born she slowed way down on wearing and asked me not to until our kid was out of diapers. She's also a medical professional so I think she has feelings about us enjoying something that burdens so many people. We keep open communications about it and she knows it'll never go away. She's also mentioned wanting to go to events and meet people in the community but so far we've kind of just let it go on the back burner and I just enjoy wearing when I can. Life phases happen and we'll get back to having our fun once there's no chance of our kid finding out and getting mixed messages about potty training.

 

[Babytomneeds]

“Female” no wonder its hard for you to find a gal

I'm hetrosexual Male

 

[qwertyqwerty]

My best advice is to wait between 12-18 months before discussing it . If you have dated for over a year maybe she will listen . Less than a year she will simply walk out because her friends will try to convince her to leave . If she has low self esteem and likes you , your chances improve . There are many factors . Also, if you change yourself , that’s slightly better .

 

[qwertyqwerty]

You could always throw the curve ball day one , but why take a good match and risk throwing it away .

 

[Anemone]

I'm hetrosexual Male

I think they were pointing out that biological essentialism is harmful and ergo offensive, especially to marginalised genders, rather than canvassing for anyone's demographics...

 

[SimCo]

As a female caregiver. My biggest struggle has been finding someone that wants both sides of a relationship. Yes men out number women greatly so we get a lot more "attention" but so often once a guy realizes you are good with whatever kink they have.... that's ALL they want to focus on. They forget that you are trying to form a connection and a relationship beyond diapers or whatever you are into. And a good romantic relationship has to be about more than a kink. You want someone to enjoy all faucets of life and love. And I think that can be hard no matter what you are into. I know I'm just trying to be the best me, and not settle to simpley not be alone, but that's me. I wish you the best and hope you find a great partner.❤

This is unfortunate but not surprising to hear about your experience as a female caregiver. ABDL is, by very definition, a selfish interest, and it is one that I believe develops out of anxiety around how a person forms attachments (relationships) with others. I wish you the best of luck finding a partner who is able to love you for the person you truly are, and not for the role you’re willing to play for them. Personally, I am coming to firmly believe that “ABDL dating” should just be finding a great partner to fall in love with and who can love us for our true, authentic selves, including our ABDL sides. If there is true love, mutual admiration and respect between two people, a partner’s kinks should be an opportunity for one to please the other (within boundaries, of course).

 

[87dervaTheExplora]

I have always been curious to find someone romantically that I can share my comforts in this kink. However, more recently it’s been really hard to find someone who is like minded especially with all the bad people around…

What’s everyone thought on the AB/DL scene? What website/App have you tried? Any bad or good experience so far? Any tips of meeting new people?

I can concur. It would be great to find someone who's as nerdy/goofy DL sort with all the love either of "us" could handle