Telling your partner about being a diaper lover

[jamie54]

I need help on how to tell my partner! I’m a diaper lover and don’t have any adult baby tendencies. I want to tell my girlfriend who I’ve been with for 3 years now but I’m terrified of losing her as I don’t know how she’ll react!

What’s the best way to approach this, any advice would be greatly appreciated and who knows, I may just pluck up the courage to tell her.

 

[messydiaper]

The podcast Dream a Little might be a good thing to listen to. Also the podcast Love in Brief. Good luck!

 

[mayhem]

I need help on how to tell my partner

Honestly, the best thing you can do is to be right upfront with it. Don't waste their time or yours. If they love you they will accept and if not they did you a favor by moving on. Just start out by saying "Listen, I'm going to tell you something that makes me very vulnerable. There is a side of me that I need to share and hope that you do not judge me for."

 

[Lumos]

I second those 2 podcasts that @messydiaper mentioned. They gave me the courage to tell my wife.

 

[Str88jacketabdl]

*Doesn't have AB tendencies*

But wears a super cute onesie in their avatar picture.

Honestly I always brought it up sooner rather then later. I would introduce BDSM first by the way of straitjacket play. Always had a good responses, every girl I dated even the ones that I thought were vanilla AF loved the idea of being in a straitjacket.

After that I’d play it cool, they’d ask if I had any other fetishes and I’d be like yeah but this one is kinda personal I don’t know if I want to share.

Eventually I’d “let” them get it out of me and I’d tell them I like to be in diapers. No one ever really responded negatively.

I don’t know if the waiting as long as you have will help or hinder. She may feel invested and more likely to accept then she would have. Or she may feel lied too.

One thing you got to ask your self is can you deal with hiding this the rest of your life. If the answer is no, you have to share or you’ll never be happy.

 

[Jorelaxed]

just be honest with her.

 

[alfenton]

You may approach it by asking her if there is anything that she does that makes her feel ...(insert how wearing diapers makes you feel, use broad emotional words. Do not use words to describe feeling physically).
Hopefully0 she has something otherwise this will tip in another direction rapidly. After you allow her to tell you her deep, dark, little secrete. You can say something along the lines of "I think I understand what you mean when you said ... (parrot back something she said about her thing, which also corresponds to how you feel in diapers)"
Be ready to have her need some space or answer some questions.
I hope this makes sense it works for me and my wife.
If you feel you will need to write down what you want to say or keypoint to launch off of.
Send me a private message on what happens I am curious on how it goes for you.

 

[Forced]

Do you currently live together?
Do you see yourself having a long term future with your GF?

 

[jamie54]

Do you currently live together?
Do you see yourself having a long term future with your GF?

No we don’t live together just but are planning to very soon and yes I do see along term future

 

[jamie54]

*Doesn't have AB tendencies*

But wears a super cute onesie in their avatar picture.

Honestly I always brought it up sooner rather then later. I would introduce BDSM first by the way of straitjacket play. Always had a good responses, every girl I dated even the ones that I thought were vanilla AF loved the idea of being in a straitjacket.

After that I’d play it cool, they’d ask if I had any other fetishes and I’d be like yeah but this one is kinda personal I don’t know if I want to share.

Eventually I’d “let” them get it out of me and I’d tell them I like to be in diapers. No one ever really responded negatively.

I don’t know if the waiting as long as you have will help or hinder. She may feel invested and more likely to accept then she would have. Or she may feel lied too.

One thing you got to ask your self is can you deal with hiding this the rest of your life. If the answer is no, you have to share or you’ll never be happy.

Well a few AB tendenacies then let’s say haha! thank you for your help

 

[Yanhoozer554]

Jamie from someone who has recently opened up to their partner it definitely helps to have practiced - honestly just talking into your mirror when your alone. As if like me you’ve never actually discussed this side of yourself with anyone before,I found it really helpful to hear myself saying things out loud (and making it feel more normal) before taking the plunge and opening up to your significant other.

Best of luck with the conversation! Similar to Alfenton I’d like to hear how it all pans out for you.

 

[NaughtyBoiNathan]

I need help on how to tell my partner! I’m a diaper lover and don’t have any adult baby tendencies. I want to tell my girlfriend who I’ve been with for 3 years now but I’m terrified of losing her as I don’t know how she’ll react!

What’s the best way to approach this, any advice would be greatly appreciated and who knows, I may just pluck up the courage to tell her.

This is a really sensitive issue, but i too think that honesty is the best policy, whether it be broaching your love of Diapers, or any other secrets. It's never really a good idea to keep secrets of this nature, because eventually you'll get found out! Your girlfriend might then ask how many other secrets are you keeping from me? As you have no AB tendencies, and just like wearing diapers it's not the dilemma you think it is. A honest and open approach would be my recommendation. You could say you have issues with your prostate, and now need to wear Diapers @night to prevent you wetting the bed for example. Or you could just be upfront and say i have a desire to indulge in wearing adult diapers. THE HEART WANTS WHAT THE HEART WANTS. Wish you luck, and hope it goes well for you.

 

[plasticsounds]

This is a huge topic discussed many many times over the 15 years I've been on this site.

Unfortunately, there is no actual answer because all humans will react differently when hearing about this. The main issue is having not said anything until now. I'm not saying you should have said something earlier, society does not smile upon too much information. Some secrets are better left secret until trust is earned.

In my opinion, yank the band-aid and tell them everything, if you're going to tell them anything. The reaction will be what it is. If the relationship survives, great. You might be one of the lucky ones and get to add diapers to your repertoire as a couple.

Or it could go badly, like my outing did with my wife. We are still together, but she was not happy with the news. I basically live with diapers now as I did before I told her, in secret. The benefit is I am not living in fear of being caught. If you feel they are an important part of your life (both diapers and the relationship), as I did, you're going to have to tell them.

 

[jamie54]

The podcast Dream a Little might be a good thing to listen to. Also the podcast Love in Brief. Good luck!

Thank you so much for the suggestion, I have already listened to a few episodes and they are great certainly giving me more courage

 

[jamie54]

This is a really sensitive issue, but i too think that honesty is the best policy, whether it be broaching your love of Diapers, or any other secrets. It's never really a good idea to keep secrets of this nature, because eventually you'll get found out! Your girlfriend might then ask how many other secrets are you keeping from me? As you have no AB tendencies, and just like wearing diapers it's not the dilemma you think it is. A honest and open approach would be my recommendation. You could say you have issues with your prostate, and now need to wear Diapers @night to prevent you wetting the bed for example. Or you could just be upfront and say i have a desire to indulge in wearing adult diapers. THE HEART WANTS WHAT THE HEART WANTS. Wish you luck, and hope it goes well for you.

Thank you for your advice!

 

[DprLuv85]

A lot of different people have opened up to their significant other in different ways. I don't think there really is a "best approach", because there are too many variables that will differ from one couple to the next. As long as you present it in a positive way, then you will have done all you can do. How she responds will also depend on the type of person she is. Does she generally accept new things in a positive way? Only you can know the answer to that, so you will have to gauge in what way (if at all) you present this her to get the best result possible. With all that being said, here's how I did it:

At the time, my diaper wearing was very fetishistic. So I found a list of uncommon fetishes online; making sure it included diaper lovers. I then started a conversation with her about strange sexual fetishes that I had heard about. I can't remember exactly how I started that conversation, but I remember just saying something along the lines of: "Today on the radio I heard of this <insert strange fetish here> fetish, what do you think about that?". I then showed her the list I had found on the internet and asked her to pick one she would try. She actually picked one of the more common ones...I can't remember which because I was super focused on what I was going to do next. I then told her I had one of the ones on the list. She smiled and we went back and forth a few times, with her making guesses and me denying that was it. I finally told her it was the diaper one. Her reaction was nothing short of shocking; she asked if I had any diapers because she wanted to see them. I retrieved my entire stash (probably about 40 diapers) from the attic. She asked me to put one on, told me how much she liked it and then asked if she could put one on. I of course said yes. I wet mine to show her how it worked (she didn't wet hers), and then we had diaper sex. All on the first night!

I think her reaction was so good, because of the amount of confidence I had when I told her. So be confident, honest, and positive in the way you tell her and she just may well have a surprising reaction!

 

[jamie54]

Thank you so much for this and for sharing your story as well that really helps! I like the idea of showing her a list and making her guess

 

[Lyric]

If you love her and want to live together, you have to tell her sooner rather than later. If you don't she will at some point find out, and her reaction is likely to be less than you would hope for. Everyone of us who love to wear diapers and not for medical reasons, have faced the same issue. There are many threads on ADISC regarding the same question. My own experience was to hide it for far too long. After my divorce, I told every girl I dated early in our dating about my love for wearing diapers and my long history regarding it. Some were put off and some weren't but when I met the girl I truly connected with and thought I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, I told her early on. It was a little difficult at first, she wanted to know a lot more about me and my diapers fetish, but in the end she accepted it and even became very supportive.

 

[dogboy]

You can also leave a backdoor in your telling. By that I mean, if you really love this girl and don't want to lose her and if she's acting adversely, you can always say, but I don't have to wear them. I'd do anything for you. Sadly, that may lead to wearing diapers on the sly which I did for many years before I told my wife. It turned out that she was very accepting so I hope you are as fortunate.

 

[DLJosie]

theres only 1 thing u can do and that is tell her the truth i dono how u would tell her but i hope u good a good response from her. i did when i came out to my friends but this is a different situation than mine if she accepts it then which i really hope she will do go full force introduce it gently. sorry if this doesnt make sense im no good at writing stuff as i never went to school but let us no how it goes xxx