I can fully agree that in course of my incontinence I (or/and my bladder) are getting a little lazy in that way that I do not in every case try to reach the toilet under all circumstances any more. One one hand (I have an urge inco) my "reaction time" between the urge and beginning of flow is decreasing, on the other hand I more often think, why the heck run reaching for toilet, I'm wearing a diaper? Sure, I might loose some kind of control with doing that, but it makes my life easier and more comfortable and I'm fine with that.
On the other hand - being incontinent is all in all something inconvenient. You have to take care of your supplies, of the garbage, always keep aware how wet you are, when and where to change, take spare supplies with you, paying attention which clothes to wear for staying discreet and so on. Sure, I have learned to deal with all of this and of course still fully to enjoy my life! But, all this inconvenience gives me in my eyes also the legitimation to sometimes enjoy having a diaper on and to have no NEED to run for a toilet or simply keep driving my car on journeys without HAVING to stop and many other different occasions - it's meanwhile also fully OK for me to use my diaper!
A different topic for me was with beginning of my incontinence how to handle the nights. At the beginning I used the Tena Pants, it was OK during the day to catch the first flow until I reached the toilet. In the nights I struggled with the fact that I woke up with the slightest urge to pee and - in order to avoid a wet bed - jumped up to the toilet, and this several times in the night, which caused a very bad sleep pattern for me. Additionally I didn't reach always the toilet right in time so I even had to change in the night.
After one week of very bad sleep I decided to change something and switched to a good "real" diaper, Tena Maxi, deciding for myself that I don't have to be afraid of a wet bed an more (and therefore get a deeper sleep), which worked. In the first two nights I tried to go to the toilet as I woke up with the urge, but until I reached and fiddling with the tapes it already went into the diaper (which held it without any problems of course). So I decided that if it anyway goes into the diaper then I also don't have to try any more to get up to the toilet... So, in the end I decided to go to bed diapered and use my diaper in the night without getting up any more, which worked fine for me. I have a deep sleep, after getting used to it I only very slightly wake up with the urge, let it simply flow and be back in deep sleep within shortest time.
Of course I had discussed all those matters and my feelings about that with my wife. She fully supports me and tells me to try out and to find out what is the most convenient way for me to handle and live with my incontinence. I shall do whatever makes me feel comfortable and good, she's fine with it and doesn't change in any way her feelings and behavior towards me.
