Refraining from telling my soon to be ex

[PeeJayTee]

Has anyone tried feeling out a long term partner and just felt they should not come out as a Diaper Lover due to negative reactions to hints?

I keep thinking there may be hope if I just came completely out to my still current wife (we have been separated since July 2017) so she would understand why there were certain issues with our relationship.

Our problems all started when she found Wetset Magazine open on my ipad when I wasn't home right after we were married. That was over 4 years ago. I wanted her to view the page with me but I still wasn't sure how she would take it. I kept asking her to look at stuff with me. She felt looking at stuff online was cheating on her. All these years I keep telling her I was trying to communicate. She is still stuck and I can't get her to open her mind.

I thought she was the one because I was able to tell her that I was into girls wetting themselves from day one but could not get to the point to let her know that I myself was a diaper lover and love wetting and messing myself. I put it all on hold for 5 years and I gave this important part of myself up but only to be kinda miserable and had to hide it.

Even though she is open minded she is not kinky if that makes any sense.

There are other issues with her though so I think I really should just move on and let her go. It sucks though because we do care about each other but unfortunately we are just not compatible sexually. Now I'm 56 and wondering if it will even be possible to find a woman in my area who is compatible but that's okay because I am free to wear my diapers and pullups 24/7 and wet and mess my pants if I feel like it. If I have to be alone, so be it!

Has anyone else experienced this?

 

[Slomo]

You could never trust you wife to accept this part of you, so obviosly you two are nit fully compatible. You are already seperated, and soon to be divorced. What would be the point in telling her now?

Learn from you mistake and let her go. And next time don't wast 4+ years of you life with the wrong person, make sure to tell any future spouse about you diapers.

 

[PeeJayTee]

Agreed 100%

 

[TeddyBearCowboy]

As one who is going through a divorce myself after being married a much, much longer time than you (almost five fold), I believe I have a few things to offer. First of all, you should never have not shared this with your wife from before you were married. But that is a sunk cost --as there is nothing you can do to change that. But secondly, from one who did share these things with my wife from inception, and it has been an on and off again thing of acceptance, even participating, but cumulatively non-accepting and then being used to blackmail me, I would share that you are foolish to consider this if you are already in the throws of going your separate ways.

In my case, the ABDL stuff is simply being used as something against me while in the bigger picture of things, there are much greater differences than just being ABDL. But in order to try and win sides and ultimately hurt me, this is now the excuse for the reasons for all of it --which simply isn't true.

I suspect this is likely the case with you as well. But I would ask you to look at all of your relationship and honestly ask yourself how much of your separation and such is due to diaper interests vs. other differences in your marriage. If diapers were the only thing that was wrong, I might suggest that you try to work it out. But my guess is that there are other things, even greater things, that you have differences over. What else is there why you are not together?

So, unless the diapers are the only thing, I do not think this is a discussion that you need to engage in. If you have been separated since July of last year, then it seems like your decision may have already been made. However, if you are truly sincere about wanting to make it work, and see this person as the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, then I would encourage you to seek counsel both together and separately. Professional help may guide you and help you understand what you need to do to make it work.

Also, is this the first time you have been married? If so, you have lived a substantial portion of your life as single and that in itself can cause some differences in not being used to living with someone and adjusting to it. Or if you were with someone before, then how did you handle your diaper interests then?

In any case I wish you the best. May you find happiness and also peace in helping your spouse find what she is seeking as well.

Best wishes

:detective3
TeddyBearCowboy

 

[PeeJayTee]

You are totally correct TeddyBearCowboy. She can blame the sexual stuff all she wants but she never understood the real source of the issues. That was the main problem as I was the one to seek counseling for us, I was the one who was always open and honest with what was on my mind. I was the one that said I was not perfect and I was the one who always apologized just to clear the air after a heated disagreement. Bye Bye to her!